Darth Josh bumps into Way of the Master

RationalResponseSquad's picture

A comedy bit by Rational Response Squad Admin Darth Josh with slight adaptation by RRS Co-Founder Brian Sapient.  The original post is here.

 

Ray Comfort: Josh, have you ever told a lie?

Josh: Ray, have you ever told the truth?

Ray Comfort: Yes

Josh: What does that make you? A truther?

Ray Comfort:: Have you ever stolen?

Josh: Have you ever given without motive?

Ray Comfort:: Have you ever taken the lord's name in vain?

Josh: Which lord? Whose lord?

Ray Comfort:: Well, Josh, you're a lying, stealing blasphemer and you're going to go to hell if you don't change your ways.

Josh: Well, Ray, you're a lying, conniving preacher and when you get sick I'm going to withhold the cure for whatever disease wracks your body so you can see your lord quicker.

Ray Comfort: Don't you want to live forever in peace?

Josh: I'd prefer living a short while without jesus freaks.

Todd Friel: Why do you hate jesus?

Josh: Todd, have you ever told a lie?

Kirk Cameron: (goof-ass growing pains smile) Hayuck Hayuck. Wanna see my crocoduck?

Ray Comfort and Todd Friel: Not NOW, Kirk!

 

Just then a shaved muslim walks in and presses a detonator. Nothing happens. A few seconds pass and the muslim slaps his forehead.

Muslim: Shit. I forgot the bomb at the mosque. It is your fault, infidels!!!

(Josh exits room stage left.)

Ray Comfort: Mr. Muslim, have you ever told a lie?

Muslim: Why no, I haven't.

Ray Comfort: Have you ever stolen?

Muslim: Why no, of course not.

Ray Comfort: Have you ever taken the lord's name in vain?

Muslim: Never. I praise allah with every action and sentence.

Ray Comfort: No. I mean god.

Muslim: You mean Allah and Muhammed is his prophet.

Ray Comfort, Todd Friel, and Kirk Cameron(in unison): But Jesus is god's son.

Muslim: You idiots. Allah never took a wife, not even in mu'tah. Allah has no son.

Ray Comfort: Yes he did. The jews and Romans killed him.

Muslim: Fucking jews! I hate jews, but they cannot have killed Allah's son because Allah never had a son. I do not hate the jews for this. It is a lie. You are all three liars and Allah declares that you must die.

Ray Comfort, Todd Friel, and Kirk Cameron: But wait!!! We're saved! We asked for forgiveness!

Muslim: Just because you have asked does not mean it is granted, dumbasses.

 

With that, the muslim pulls out his 40 yr. old AK-47 and shoots all three of them.

Muslim: Now where did that atheist infidel go?

 

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server.

darth_josh's picture

I like the clarifications.

I like the clarifications. Thanks, Brian.

I'd like Flemming to play me in the screen adaptation. lol.

Atheist Books, purchases on Amazon support the Rational Response Squad server, which houses Celebrity Atheists.