What I hate about christianity
When I was young, I was absolutely horrified at the idea that someone would see me undressed. For so many years, even the thought of using a public bathroom unnerved me. I just knew that someone was going to walk in and see me, and I was terrified.
This was because I had, at the time, bought into the ideas of christian shame that dominate in our culture. If it had not been for christianity, it would not have mattered to me at all. I would not have even thought about it.
Likewise, when I was young and at my best, I was terrified of getting into a relationship. I just knew that getting into a relationship would lead to having sex, which christianity taught me would send my soul to perish in hell.
The Pauline christ never laughs. His supposed life is detailed in the gospels, and there is not one account wherein he laughs. They are all so serious, because he is a serious figure. He speaks to "flesh" about the things of the "spirit", and condemns the "flesh" for not being "spirit".
There were many times, when I was younger, that I simply stared at the sky and begged that saviour to come and end my earthly suffering. I was lonely, horny, and tired of existence. No voices called down from the clouds to calm me. No "second coming".
So during my youth, I upheld those values that I learned from christianity.
- Your body, being the physical prison of the soul, was essentially evil, and any physical pleasure you might feel would harm your spirit.
- Any joy in this life would provoke the wrath of god against you. Life was meant to be serious and miserable so that joy might be obtained after you die.
- The physical body is an object of shame, and if you are not ashamed that you have a body, then your spiritual self will suffer.
It has taken me a long time to overcome the fear and sadness that every thought and feeling provoked in me because of christianity. I am still working on many other points, as there are too many to name here.
I am become death, destroyer of worlds