Conservatism

I am decidedly liberal. I believe in a really big government. I believe that we should all have a high standard of living guaranteed by the government. I believe that this high standard should be funded by high taxes. It doesn't get much more liberal than that.

I guess I could be a communist or an anarchist. But I have roots in both these philosophies, and they have influenced me.

But on some issues I am decidedly conservative. So lets talk about this.

I am for one, pro-money.

Lets take it further. I love money. I want money, when Cartman says "Kyle's money!!!" and wallows in a swimming pool full of pennies on Southpark, I relate to Cartman. I become Cartman!

I would wallow in money, in a heartbeat.

Now that I own my own business, I do a lot of bartering. I'm glad that people are willing to barter with me, but you know what beats barter anytime -MONEY!

Money allows me to have one unit for all bartering.

Brilliant.

I would always rather have money. If you offer me $100 in trade or $100 in money, I will prefer the money every single time.

So I like to protect my money.

But, wait didn't I say I believe in High Taxes, I do, but as a percentage of income, which increases as income increases.

I always pay my taxes, I like public libraries, roads, cops, armies, public schools, public parks, etc. etc. etc.

But whatever I don't pay in taxes, I want to keep.

I also want taxes to be simple. Right now, you have state, federal, and in some cases city taxes, plus sales tax.

There are some economists that speculate a progressive sales tax could be created which replaced all other taxes.

This sales tax, increases with your income, which is managed on your tax return.

This is very simple, conservatives like simple taxation.

Simple taxation reduces possibility for error, and protects your own personal wealth.

Lots of taxes, administered differently, its a mess.

Second, I like cops.

I do, I really like cops.

I knew I was getting old when jogging one day I was glad to see the cops.

When I was a kid the cops used to bust me for wearing a leather jacket.

But when I worked as a waiter at IHOP I had a lot of them as friends, we were all a bunch of assholes at the coffee shop at the middle of the night.

They all knew I was doing illegal stuff, mostly smoking pot, they cut me slack.

Then my house got broken into, they helped me get my shit back.

I like cops.

I like the military too, I'm not a pacafist.

I completely supported the war in Afghanistan, and my only problem with it is that we are fucking it up.

We should have americans out there with big ass rifles to shove up the asses of the Taliban, fuck the Taliban. I wish I could kill some of those assholes myself.

They want to kill my infidel ass.

Fuck them!

I protested the start of the Iraq war, and I still think it was a mistake. Largely because it took resources from the really important war in Afghanistan.

Now we're there, so guess what?

I am for staying until the threat of civil war is over.

Its not enough to sway my vote, but I am sincere.

Like Collin Powell said, "We broke it, we bought it."

So that means when I vote for a Democrat for president I betray myself just a little on this issue.

Of course, then I get my federal student aid and then I remember why I am a liberal.

But its all a matter of lots of individual issues.

Hail Caesar!