Random passing thoughts #3 100509
Classically, my day to be envious of my children for having TWO parents instead of 1/2 of a disinterested guardian.
Yesterday was Birth Mother's day. Even most of the adopted people I know didn't know that. That's ok. I always keep a few friends in mind on that day and inevitably I decide NOT to call them on that day to inform them of this day's alleged significance over any other.
It is one of the cases where ignorance isn't bliss, but almost necessary.
I'm not sure of the motivations for commemorating being a birth mother. It seems a little insidious as if it is meant as a backhanded comment rather than a 'holiday'.
There are any number of motives for even acknowledging it as a day as well.
Of course, it depends upon whom one is addressing when discussing it. right?
If it were a birth mother who had to give up the child then it strikes of sadistic obnoxiousness to mention it.
However, if it is a woman who sold or absolutely didn't want the baby at the time at all then it becomes an interesting study in what emotions are at play in the now rather than then when the choice was made.
My sympathies are there for the women who had to give up their title as mother, but not so much for those who just felt like it was okay to have a kid and shrug it off on someone else.
In the case of the former, it seems fair that mother and child be reunited eventually, but in the case of the latter...
Well, it isn't my decision, but I think a case should be made for the birth mothers to be given a chance to tell their side of the story to the offspring and let the kid decide the value of their 'mother'.
Rather than having a day where one is supposed to cherish their mother, I'd prefer to enjoy a day analyzing the worthiness of mothers both adoptive and birth.
It's one of those days that makes me long for the time of Huxley's bottle babies with no belly buttons.