This is how you troll a gamer.

Vastet's picture

So I'm playing Transformers 2 online, and I'm playing a team DM (death match, for those unfamiliar with the acronym). I choose Starscream, as always, because he's fucking awesome. Join the game, and it's me and this guy Transformers-TF-1 vs 4 Autobots. Long story short, we owned the enemy so badly they couldn't even get a kill. 2 of them leave, a third switches teams, and my former teammate apparently decides it's time to see which of us is better, and he switches teams as well.
The next game is rather epic. The nub on my team quits halfway in, which is annoying. He sucked, but he was perfect for distracting the opponents so I could take them both down while he dies. Oh well, I know I'm better than Transformers-TF-1 by now, so it's just a matter of divide and conquer.
Unfortunately I couldn't kill them enough for the win, but I keep it tied up.
Game ends, I look at the stats:
Autobots 11
Decepticons 11
Kills Assists Deaths
Autobots:
Transformers-TF-1: 5 1 3
Nub: 0 1 9
Decepticons:
Vastet: 7 2 2

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.

Vastet's picture

The shit doesn't add up

The shit doesn't add up because a few random people joined and left during the game. Like, joined, fired a few shots, got owned, and quit. This is definitely just me vs Transformers-TF-1. Or just me, depending how you look at it.
Next game starts, me vs the two.
I will say at this point I must give credit to his newer teammate. He sticks around through all of it despite being completely outclassed.
Anyway, I get 3 quick and unanswered kills. 1 on TF, 2 on the nub. And that's when I get the message I've been expecting:

TF: prostitute
Vas: lol, I love u 2
TF: stupid 1-1

Not certain what he means by 1-1. We hadn't completed two games against each other yet, and the first was a tie. He wasn't asking for a 1v1 or he'd have sent me a friend invite to make it easy to set up (ironic to add someone to your friend list so you can humiliate them, I know). So I just let that part of the comment slide and assume he's mad because I'm good at getting away long enough to recharge my health. Him, not so much.

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.

Vastet's picture

So I respond thusly: 2 v 1,

So I respond thusly:

2 v 1, u think I should just stand there and let you kill me? ok then, have fun.

And I do. Perfect time to smoke a bowl, I figure. He finds and kills me twice, then finds me and stands in front of me. I take a couple steps so he knows I am still here, and he quits the game.

Maybe you'll laugh like I did, maybe you won't give a fuck, or maybe you'll think I'm a dick. But I had to share. Made my morning.

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.