Brian Sapient had penis reduction surgery
It's true-- I just happen to know one of the nurses who signed his cast post surgery. Apparently, Brian's penis was so large it was affecting various activities of daily living and so he opted to get it halved, and then halved again.
"Some might think a huge cock is an argument in favor of intelligent design" said Sapient, while eating ice cream in the recovery room, "but it just didn't fit in any of the places I wanted to put it in, and shoe horns were just not an option for us".
Brian's penis measured over 37 inches long, which qualified it as a disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act. The danger his large wanker posed to himself and others (especially the elderly) helped Brian make the decision for surgery, but really it was the taunting from school kids that made him opt for the surgeon's scalpel.
"If I had a nickel for every time I was called the human tripod, I'd be in the top 10 supporter list here for the rrs. A little known fact about the RRS is it originally stood for "rod reduction surgery" as I envisoned starting a support group for men with mega cocks. But, surgery didn't just take my dong, it took my faith as well. I'm no longer chained down, either by a behemoth of a scholng or the lord jesus. So, I decided rational response squad was my true calling versus another internet site about penises-- or is it penii?"
The compound was not immediately available for comment.