AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

Sapient
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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

Quote:
I need some help...

So, ok, here's my problem and maybe you could depart with some useful advice: I have been in a relationship for 13 years, we have two kids. We got married about 7 years ago because we thought it would be good to do that. We tattooed rings on our fingers. You could say we are soul-mates in a sense-at any rate, we really get along and I love him. IT'S HIS GOD-FEARING, BUSH-LOVING, AMERIKKKAN PATRIOTIC PARENTS that are driving me nuts. They don't affect him, but his mother in particular is constantly taking passive-aggressive jabs at me. She has given me a camoflage pocket bible with high-lighted passages, she sends me racist, sexist, god-fearing (supposed to be) "funny" emails and the list goes on. It's when she started working behind my back on my kids that I couldn't take it any more. I have told her we aren't xtian but she is loco and continues to disrespect my wishes. My husband doesn't say anything to her because he doesn't let it get to him but she takes time to really get at me. So I guess my question is this: How can I rationally, gracefully repond to her actions of giving my kids religous books, videos, toys, and even shirts without pissing the parents off? Thanks for your existence.

Audio Response:
http://www.rationalresponders.com/media/Mailbag/atheistmom8-01-06.mp3

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Yellow_Number_Five
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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

Nice, sapient, hope your experience with a similar situation will help her out Smiling


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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

Thanks for a sensible response to my problem. I checked out www.evolvefish.com and found the books you were talking about. I would like to add that I don't lie to my boys (ages 5 and Cool about Santa Claus or an Easter Bunny. We celebrate Eostre/Spring Equinox around March 20. But still, they like to pretend about Santa and that's cool with me as long as they can differentiate between imaginary and reality. I am still trying to find a better way to celebrate solstice/xmas without making it a retail holiday.
Your right though, it's not going to be just their grandparents and I know plenty of kids who were forced to go to church and figured it out themselves, like myself. I just am not very good with comebacks when she is "right" and I am "wrong" from the get-go. Thanks again for this forum, I love hearing righteous atheism.


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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

I have a sort of similar problem, though slightly different, as it's my own mother. She brought us up to make our own decisions about religion, though she's a Methodist--and I'm grateful for that. However, I have one sister that's kind of Wiccan, one Agnostic, and me, the Atheist. She's now bothered by this, especially me. Now, understand, there was just no religion in my household growing up, and now, I'm 31 years old, and she starts sending me these God emails. I've asked her nicely to please stop, she didn't. I told her more firmly--pointed out that she knows what my beliefs are, and receiving these from her is blatantly disrespecting them--so she stopped for a little bit, but she's started back up again.

Our family history is a long story, but suffice to say, she's a Canadian that's been living in the States for over 30 years. I'm an American. My father died a few years ago, and since, she's met and has gotten together with a man, a fellow Canadian. I want to be happy for her, but here's the catch: he's good friends with Steven Harper, recently elected conservative leader, and he has tied with the Christian Coaltion. When they got toegther was about the time she started up with the emails again. I just got one this morning that, while not religious, is quite bigoted (my now deceased father was black, I'm white, she's white...I'm not understanding what the hell she's thinking). The emails is complaining about Lebanese-Canadians, and their immigration status and their ingratefulness--this is funny coming from a woman who lived in the States for so long and never got citizenship, but was married to an American, and most certainly enjoyed certain benefits that came long with it.

So, this combination of Christian-Conservatism is just something I can't deal with in my mother, who I've always know as being open-minded and quite tolerant. I know I got a little off-topic with the bigotry, but does anyone have an advice about how to deal with religiosity in one's own mother (which is quite different than one's mother-in-law)? I've just lost my father, and I sort of feel like I'm now losing my mother--this draw towards religion of her side (and the constant disrespect towards my beliefs) is going to put a serious strain on our relationship, which as always been quite close.

Sorry for the length of this post, and I realize I'm quite new here...but any advice regarding this sensitive situation would be appreciated. Smiling


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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

I didn't mention my own parents because they pretty much disowned me about 15 years ago. They have been divorced since I was 4 but they have a lot in common: they are both xtian and both racist and both intolerable. My dad used to make me go to my room and would tell me to get down on my knees and pray for the lord to forgive me for my sins (?) and to accept me in heaven. Religion and racism have literally torn my family apart. So when I have tried to discuss my problem about my mother-in-law with my close friends, they just don't see how serious it is especially when my kids are involved. They say stuff like, "Oh, just let her get them toys, they don't hurt anything." But I think that my life is proof that it does hurt. I haven't seen my parents in @18 years. It's really sad and I wish that these people that use religion as a barrier would see how bad it hurts the people around them thataren't religious. Religious people want to know what you believe so that they can judge you as a bad person. Xtians even fight with each other, my dad couldn't stand the church down the street from where we lived so we had to get up at 5:30 AM so we could drive to the one half an hour away.
My advice to you would be to stay strong and try to get to a place with your mother where you just don't talk about religion. Try to get her to respect that or you might end up where I'm at. People and friends have told me that I am stubborn, but I don't agree. I just don't give in when I think that it is ridiculous to pretend to like everything is fine when you know that it isn't.


Sapient
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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

Great advice Marthasplatterhead.

I have a term I commonly use for this. People often say, "I lost a friend to cancer," or "I lost a friend to hodkins." Well theism is a disease of the brain, a mental condition, and often those afflicted are metaphorically braindead. I say "I lost my mother to Christianity" or "I lost my mother to Jesus."

I know it's sad, I realize that, I don't say this out of hate or anger, I say it because it's reality. A hard thing to accept.

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AUDIO RESPONSE: Atheist Mom with Christian Mother in law

Kind of a joke suggestion.... Maybe give the moter-in law with a highlighted bible of your own as thanks for the camo bible you got? Smiling

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MarthaSplatterhead (not verified)
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HealingBlight wrote:Kind of

HealingBlight wrote:
Kind of a joke suggestion.... Maybe give the moter-in law with a highlighted bible of your own as thanks for the camo bible you got? Smiling

Deja vu. Anyway. I thought about doing that but it would deeply offend her. She always is trying to get me to see the light. Which is quite funny since I thought I saw the light when I stopped believing in the Easter bunny, GOD and the Holy Ghost.