Purity Movement

GreyhoundMama
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Purity Movement

The news today had a blurb about the so-called Purity Movement. Some school group is sponsoring "purity" dances and such, and the kids are supposed to sign documents swearing that they won't have sex until marriage. According to the news report, 88% of the kids who signed the pledge, went on to have sex before marriage.

One of the girls was quoted as saying (paraphrased from memory) "my father has control of me, and when I marry my husband will have control of me."

Gag me!!!

EVery fiber of my being, and every experience I have ever had or heard of, supports the notion that such archaic attitudes, and the ignorance it fosters, leads to more trouble, more disease, and more pain for the girls. I have less knowledge about the experience of the boys. But girls who are not allowed to learn about sex early on (not have it, learn about it) are often doomed to suffer date rape, hurt feelings, misunderstandings, or the lack of sexual response as an adult, because no one bothered to help her understand what was happening. Now, I'm not a big fan of "free sex". Even forgetting the disease aspect, trivializing something that can be so beautiful when between people who love each other, seems counterproductive. But it still boils down to the fact that what happens between consenting adults is none of my business. And that we should all have information so that we can make our own, informed decisions about it.

Anyway. How can these people be so ignorant? How can they swing so far backwards to the dark ages of patriarchy, power-over, and keeping children ignorant of natural processes? It obviously isn't working. Why don't they understand that knowledge is power? That ignorance leads to pain and even worse?

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Hambydammit
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This movement isn't new. 

This movement isn't new.  They were doing this back when I was a fundy in the early to mid 80s.  They just change the name every few years.

Yes, it is amazingly damaging to the girls.  I've seen first hand the kind of havoc it can wreak on a young woman's psyche, sexual response, and general life outlook.

Your post actually brings up an interesting stereotype that I'd like to point out.  (Disclaimer:  Your post simply made me think about it.  I'm not pointing any fingers at you with this little rant.) 

There's a tendency towards all or nothing thinking that originates with theists, but spills over even to a lot of atheists.  That is, it seems like the only two possibilities are committed, monogamous, long term sexual relationships (if you're a theist, add "within the institution of marriage), or wild orgies with free sex everywhere and no sense of commitment.  

This is, of course, a fallacy.  Many people spend years dating before they find someone to be in a committed long term relationship with.  If they're safe in their sexual practices, they can have a very satisfying dating/sex life, even though it isn't with a committed life partner.

There are many steps in between life long monogamy and wild hippie-love orgies.  Most of those steps can be quite satisfying and healthy, and yet the pervasive sexual prudishness of the theists in America has even a lot of non-theists locked into an all or nothing mindset. 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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GreyhoundMama
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I agree!

I completely agree with you! In a society that wasn't so hung up on sex, people would be truly free to choose what was happy and healthy for them. I have nothing against sex before, during, or after marriage. In fact, I believe the institution of marriage is fundamentally broken. Any practice that has a 50% - 60% failure rate is broken big time!

And if everyone was educated, knowledgable, and able to talk about it, we'd probably see people having relationships where they're sexually compatible, instead of it being one of the reasons for some of those divorce statistics. Practice makes perfect as they say. LOL

All-or-nothing thinking, AKA black-and-white thinking, tends to always be over simplified and not healthy, so kudos for the expansion on my thoughts! I know what I mean, but it doesn't always come out that way in type!!! Smiling

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Hambydammit
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I guessed that's where you

I guessed that's where you were going.  However, I've been wrong before.  One of the things I've noticed is that a lot of women feel very guilty about having sex, but they end up having a lot of it, and typically have very unsatisfying relationships that don't last very long because they're based on drunk, guilty sex.

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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Iruka Naminori
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I'm basically asexual and I

I'm basically asexual and I don't know how much of that has to do with my fundy upbringing. *shrug* 

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Vastet
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Such an environment can't be

Such an environment can't be healthy for males either. Granted the female has it much worse, but the males never gain an appreciation for their companions when they believe themselves inherrantly superior. I don't know how people could stand living with someone that they didn't respect as an equal. Seems to me that it would take everything worthwile in a relationship and throw it out the window.

Iruka, do you mean you don't find yourself attracted to others?

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