Alright - I was inspired by utopian to hunt down my deconversion/coming-out story from another online forum. There is a little back story--we were in a debate about ID vs. evolution and I realized that my knowledge of evolution was insufficient to properly debate the topic, so I asked for some recommendations and read a whole bunch, and when I came back after a few days, people were confused as to my change in attitude, but anyway...here it is:
Sorry for the confusion. I will try to explain. This is requiring a great deal of humility, as I hate admitting when I have been mistaken, and I even considered abandoning this board altogether, but I'm forcing myself to be honest. In my desire to better understand evolution, I read many books and articles. Although I never found "exactly" what I was looking for with regard to mutations, there was a point at which a light bulb went on in my head, and suddenly the creationist arguments were revealed for the clearly-grasping-at-straws fallacious argumentation that they are. So, that compelled me to search out other areas in which the biblical account may be mistaken. I discovered many interesting things, not the least of which is the complete lack of historical evidence for the existence of Jesus, no to mention the uncanny similarities between Jesus and earlier pagan gods. Once again, being well acquainted with the christian apologetics that have attempted to "prove" the historical reliability of the gospels, I found their arguments entirely unconvincing in the light of this new information. That, of course, has led me into another type of inquiry as to the existence of any kind of supernatural being. As of this point, i must align myself with an atheist standpoint, in the sense that no compelling evidence for a belief in god has been presented.
I'm sure that Eric is currently laughing with hilarity at this, but I realized finally that I was taken in by emotionalism and irrationality. In order to continue being a christian I would need to shut off my brain entirely. "Faith" is of limited usefulness when all of the other information is contradicting that belief. I guess that is why christians feel such a strong desire to isolate themselves and their children. They are literally afraid of what they might find out. At any rate, yes, I am still going to homeschool my kids. But, other than that, I might as well have been kidnapped by aliens and somebody else is now in my place. Welcome me back to the world of the thinking.