Personality Change
Offline First of all I would like to say that out of all the message boards I have ever went on this one is by far the best. For some reason people on this board seem to handle themselves better than on other message boards.
What i am asking is "how do you" or "how would you" go through a personality change. For example I have always been lazy andi have always procrastinated. Its not that i never have worked hard for something, considering i was a successful HS wrestler and went to nationals for amature boxing, those things i worked very hard at(maybe not as hard as i could have). Around election time in 2004 i must have read 20 or so books just so when a political debate came around i could easily handle people. (i tend to be an argumentitive, debater type). I enjoy learning and will often get books out from the library that have nothing to do with my major just to learn about them (although to be honest i dont always finish them).
With that being said I am now going into my 5th year of college, and not my last. I havent worked hard my whole college career i just got by like i did in HS, by being pretty intelligent and paying attention while i was in class. I dont read the assignments given to me and i dont really study. What i want for this up and coming year is a whole new me. I want alot of things but for some reason i dont know how i am going to go about getting myself to do them. Many of the things that i want i have wanted for years but i have never been able to step it up and get with "a program/the program". The things that i want to do this year are:
Get into great shape: I used to be in amazing shape in HS, i had a six pack, i was cut, i looked good without a shirt on. Right now i am not in horrible shape (which is impressive because i really havent worked out since HS and i used to drink about a 2 liter of soda a day.... I was able to switch to water two months ago... so change is possible on some level.) I also have only gained about 10lbs since the end of my HS year, but at age 22 there is no excuse for me not being in my tip top shape in my life. I want to get my 6 pack back, i want to be able to run a couple of miles, overall i just want to get back in shape i just havent been able to get myself to do it.
I want to do well on the LSAT: Because I have always been pretty intelligent and because I am lazy, i have always thought of law school as my way out. I didnt take the idea seriously for a long time, but then i bought a "LSAT" book and took a couple tests just to see how i would do under timed conditions. I faired fairly well the couple of times i have practiced (without preperation) scoring 155=162 everytime. 160 is the top 20% and it would allow me to go to a decent law school. I hope to be able to get my score in the 165 range and i plan on taking the test at the end of september, i really am going to be disappointed in myself if i do not give it my all for this test, however... again the motivation thing comes into play I was going to take the June test and already pushed that one back because i didnt prepare.
Those are the 2 main things, a few other things i want to be able to do are. Eat right, find a job, straight A's in school, Learn how to play the Guitar, be less offensive when speaking about sentitive subjects, do some after school activities.
I have heard that a behavioral change can also bring on a personality change. However, i just havent been able to go out there and get it done. Recently i have as i said earlier, stopped drinking soda and i have also stopped drinking beer or any alcohol for that matter as often. So some things have changed, and those changes look like they will be successful. However, i need to get on the ball... any advice
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I will admit that more often than not I tend to have these same problems. I find that once I begin something long term with high hopes for a great outcome I quickly lose interest for some reason. Getting an electronic calendar (PDA) has helped a good bit in that it is easier to visualize where I need to spend time but is not a "magic bullet" by any means.
It's difficult to change procrastinatory (is that a word?) behaviors because in the short term it seems much better to do it another time or wait for someone else to do it for you.
As for a cutback on soda and alcohol that is a huge step. I have noticed since I have replaced sodas with tea my workday stamina has improved. I'm less tired throughout the day. I've also stopped drinking coffee. I didn't drink much in the first place, but replacing what little I did drink with apple juice or hot tea in the morning has much better results. I can think more clearly throughout the day and can follow logic easier (being in IT demands this)
As for your to-do list, it needs a little prioritizing. Getting in shape is a good thing, but exercising just enough to allow time for getting through all of the more important tasks ahead seems more logical. At the same time getting a job NOW instead of waiting for an internship or, even worse, waiting until you graduate is probably the best thing you can do. Even if it is part time 15 hours a week it is something to fill the gaps on the ever more important employment section of your resume.
Once you start planning, prioritizing, and sticking to your plan you might see improvement. It's different for everyone however so you have to develop your own strategy.
Your god's silence speaks loud and clear
Sometimes it helps to use the buddy system.
Find a friend with a similar goal, whether it's working out or studying. Set a time to meet to study or work out (or whatever it is you're working to accomplish).
Maybe when you have an obligation and someone else is counting on you, that'll help with your motivation.
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This is not really the advise you are soliciting, because I don't have it...I'm working very hard on changing and it's not easy, that's all I know.
I just graduated from college (got my BA in three years), and I had rather the opposite problem: I did nothing BUT study. I studied obsessively, I never ate (I almost got kicked out of school for being anorexic), I beat myself up over every little "mistake" I made...and by "mistake" I mean something like getting a 98% on an exam instead of a 100%, or studying 8 hours a day instead of 10, or eating 500 calories instead of 200. Yeah, I graduated with a 4.0, but I also graduated with lots of mental scars, an eating disorder, and a cutting problem.
I guess I'm writing this because in some ways I envy you. I wish I could "whatever" a little. I wish I could give myself a little slack. So I guess it's all about finding the middle ground, right? I guess what I'm saying is I'm all about working hard and having goals and stuff, but remember you are only human. You cannot be perfect. Remember we all deserve some slack! Percieved perfection comes at a very, very steep price, and you can't keep that facade up forever. Just be careful not to take anything to the extreme!
I think the change comes when the motivation is intrinsic... when you are doing something that you really care about personally and take pride in. If you are just going through the motions, it's hard to put your all into it. Some people are total go-getters, and some just aren't. Sometimes it takes finding what it is you really love to do to become motivated. Perhaps you might consider pushing yourself for a little while to find out what you are capable of.... and see what happens? Maybe you'll get used to it, & like the results so much you'll keep it up.
Hey thanks for your each of your replies.
Yesterday was a pretty productive day, compared to the rest. I ended up essentially fasting, which is good for you once and a while. (i did have one apple). I got some reading done, and i woke up early this mourning and ate breakfast (which has been rare for me) I have a list of things i want to get done such as applying for a job, and talking with my advisor.
Joshpattern- I agree that cutting back on soda and drinking water has been a positive. Drinking alcohol is just something that "college kids" do. I have always considered it a "social lubricant" and really didnt enjoy the taste or the feeling the next day after drinking, even if you arent completely hung over you dont feel all that well either. Since i turned 21 i would go out to the bar with friends... spend more money than i really wanted to, either get too drunk or not enough. Not only that but a couple of nights a week a friend would call me up and we would sit around watch TV drinking a 40... whats the point? Now i do like the feeling of being intoxicated and "chilling" with my friend... now i have a magical plant to help that along. Which isnt nearly as unhealthy as Alcohol. (also the plant has nothing to do with my lazyness... i didnt start doing that until 6 months ago, and is one of my biggest motivations in getting a JOB)
Susan- I think you might have hit the nail on the head. When I used to wrestle i used to have to cut 10-18lbs in 3 days. To do this, and at the time i was only 135 i would have to go without food or water for 3 days, while working out 4 or so hours a day and go to school. I know personally that if i can force myself to do that then i can do almost anything. Now why did i do that? Well everyone on my wrestling team counted on me making weight just like I counted on them to make weight. Sometime i would even meet up with a couple of them after practice to workout and shed a few extra lbs. The problem is that i really dont know that many people who will be interested in doing these things. I am pretty sure i might be able to find a workout partner, which would be a huge plus. However, studying for an LSAT i dont know about... maybe i could find a few pre law students or something. I have always said to myself that it would be best if i found a girlfriend who was the extremely motivated and hardworker type. Someone who would encourage me to "be the best i can be". Although i think its rather pathetic to have to find motivation in another..... very interesting though.
TrickyNikki
I would like to say i am envious of your hardwork myself, but i really am not. I agree with you there are total extremes where you say "I HAVE TO GET AN A" or a "100%" i say to myself. "hey, its not going to kill me to get a C, D or even F". Or "i am alot better off than 90% of people that have ever walked this planet". Realistically as an atheist i realize that I only have one shot at this thing we call life. When i am dead... i am dead its all over. Now the way I look at it is that in the grand scheme of things I am not really important. While at the same time I am saying, well I might as well have a life that I apperciate/enjoy. So I guess i go the route of the "right here" "right now" and procrastinate. So i am at the point where i am saying to myself "These are things that i enjoy" or "will enjoy" so make it happen.
Thanks again
Read about Phinneas Gage if you want evidence for a physical reason for mental states.