10 reasons why Beer is better than Jesus

Rigor_OMortis
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10 reasons why Beer is better than Jesus

I've taken this from Atheist Alliance site (http://www.atheistalliance.org/humor/top10-beer.php - hopefully they won't sue me for that), but I just had to post it, because it's damned funny and so damned true at the same damned time:

Quote:
Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to make them drink it.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

4. You don't have to wait more than 2,000 years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying that Beer labels can't lie to you.

2. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop.

1. You can prove you have a Beer.

Inquisition - "The flames are all long gone, but the pain lingers on..."
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BGH
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GREAT! I laughed 10 minutes

GREAT! I laughed 10 minutes straight! Ha! Take that zians.


MattShizzle
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Love it.

Love it.


JCE
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Very funny!  Beer really is

Very funny!  Beer really is better than Jesus!  Plus you can like two different brands of beer and no one really cares!


GlamourKat
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"6. When you have Beer, you

"6. When you have Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to make them drink it."

But, man, I really wish people did that! 


American Atheist
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Quote: 5. Nobody's ever

Quote:
5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

So true, I like that one, and the rest of the list is funny! Cool


Susan
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Rigor_OMortis wrote: 5.

Rigor_OMortis wrote:

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

Obviously whoever wrote this has never lived in St. Louis.  They take their Busch Beer VERY seriously there. 

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BGH
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Susan wrote: Rigor_OMortis

Susan wrote:
Rigor_OMortis wrote:

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over their brand of Beer.

Obviously whoever wrote this has never lived in St. Louis. They take their Busch Beer VERY seriously there.

Yes we do, we are very A.B. proud. 


Randalllord
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Busch beer??? Die heathen! 

Busch beer??? Die heathen!  Smile

Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. - Seneca


MattShizzle
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All mass market beer sucks.

All mass market beer sucks.


Hambydammit
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Quote: Obviously whoever

Quote:
Obviously whoever wrote this has never lived in St. Louis.  They take their Busch Beer VERY seriously there.

Susan, my family on the disowned side (I'm serious, unfortunately!) used to live in Alton, right across the L&C bridge, so I grew up a Cards fan, and still go once or twice a year to catch a game or two at Busch.  I learned the hard way that you don't joke about beer at Busch, and yes, I've seen how extraordinarily loyal they are to their beer in that part of the country.  If you haven't seen it, it's hard to describe it to a nonbeliever.Tongue out

 

Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin

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JCE
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Not to get off track, but I

Not to get off track, but I am from St. Louis and should clarify that when I said you can like two brands I meant it is ok to like Michelob AND Budweiser; heck you can even like Busch and at best you will only get some small pebbles thrown at you.  Are there other brands out there besides AB products?  LOL


Jacob Cordingley
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MattShizzle wrote: All mass

MattShizzle wrote:
All mass market beer sucks.

Damn right! I want a nice pint of ale at room temperature!


James Cizuz
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Nobody killed for beer?

Nobody killed for beer? Never come to Canada and try to drink a non-canadian beer and say it's better. You may not be burned but you will die, if your unlucky.

 

Heres what happened to one guy who tried to question our beer.

 He was lucky.

 

"When I die I shall be content to vanish into nothingness.... No show, however good, could conceivably be good forever.... I do not believe in immortality, and have no desire for it." ~H.L. Mencken

Thank god i'm a atheist!


MattShizzle
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Funny. Here I was expecting

Funny. Here I was expecting that scene from the movie "Canadian Bacon."


Digital_Babu
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I never knew they had real

I never knew they had real beer across the atlantic... 

 

 

 

 

 

let the holy wars commence!!Laughing


Susan
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Hambydammit

Hambydammit wrote:

Quote:
Obviously whoever wrote this has never lived in St. Louis. They take their Busch Beer VERY seriously there.

Susan, my family on the disowned side (I'm serious, unfortunately!) used to live in Alton, right across the L&C bridge, so I grew up a Cards fan, and still go once or twice a year to catch a game or two at Busch. I learned the hard way that you don't joke about beer at Busch, and yes, I've seen how extraordinarily loyal they are to their beer in that part of the country. If you haven't seen it, it's hard to describe it to a nonbeliever.Tongue out

 

Didn't they tear down Busch Stadium a few years back?

Years ago when I lived in St. Louis, I had a business dinner at Tony's (oh how I miss dinner at Tony's!) with co-workers from New Jersey. There was a greal deal of liquor involved. When the server quietly inquired of my boss if he was ready for another drink, my boss loudly exclaimed, "I think I'll switch to beer now and I don't want any of those Busch products!"

It was like one of those old E.F. Hutton commercials - everyone in the restaurant became absolutely silent and stared at us.

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LunarShadow
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MattShizzle wrote: All mass

MattShizzle wrote:
All mass market beer sucks.

 

All blanketed statments are false Tongue out


Ophios
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You people and your

You people and your Beer.

I'll just sit here with my Strawberry daiquiri.