I know Ash Wednesday is a minor holiday (if you can even call it a holiday), but this is my first Ash Wednesday without going to church and getting ashes and its a little strange.  Despite its relative unimportance (I don't think its mandatory anymore), the act of getting Ashes was always something that filled me with great pride - the 'look at me, look at how pious I am' ... This was an esp. delicious controversy at my untra-left-wing college (which some magazine rated as the "number one school where God is ignored&quot - So again while its a minor holiday, you can't help but see thousands of people (I live in New York City) with Ashes and that is what hit a heart-string this morning.

 I attended Catholic and Anglo-Catholic (Episcopal) Churches when I believed - They're like important ex-girlfriends to me; girls I don't love anymore, Lovers that hurt me ... I pass them on the street and don't look them in the eye.  On 15th street, where the Jamaican man sells incense, and sometimes he burns the exact smell of St. Mary the Virgin (she was sweet and fickle) ... I don't know exactly where I'm going with this except to say, I'm out now - This is something I am moving on from.  It's like breaking up with a girl: you sometimes feel lonely without them, you haven't quite made you're own way yet, you're in the out-group now, answers don't come easy anymore--

But don't worry too much, I won't drunk dial.