what to do with prozlatizers

shorty
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what to do with prozlatizers

ask them to worship the devil with you

get out a rifle and clean it in front of them (aiming it at them several times)

if you can dconvert them, you should

any more ideas on how to have fun with prozlatizers?

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MattShizzle
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what to do with prozlatizers

I like the idea of when they come to your door, answer the door either naked or dressed in a halloween devil costume.

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Yellow_Number_Five
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what to do with prozlatizers

Laughing out loud

Last time the Jw's came knocking, they asked, "Would you care to invite Jesus into your home?"

I said, through a hungover haze, "Sure, Jesus is welcome, but the two of you are trespassing".

I LOVE it when the Jw's come knocking.

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Re: what to do with prozlatizers

shorty wrote:

any more ideas on how to have fun with prozlatizers?

Tell them you know of an internet radio show that you would like to help book an appearance on. I'm very serious. That's what we're here for.

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MattShizzle
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what to do with prozlatizers

Good idea! I hear so many absurd arguments whenever a theist tries arguing with me. One of the silliest, so bad I started laughing, was along the lines of "Well how can all of creation not have been created?." Well, duh! Don't use that presumptious word creation! How about if I call the universe "That which has always existed and no rational person would imply from it the existance of a deity." O.K. that would be a little cumbersome to say. Laughing out loud

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shorty
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what to do with prozlatizers

what do i need to do to get them on the show?


Rigor_OMortis
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what to do with prozlatizers

Oh yeah... JWs... I had the following (not so smart) ideas:

- post a sticker on the front gate of the house saying "Jesus has not been resurrected: they found the body"
- come out of the house (especially if this happens in the morning, right before you have time to get dressed and take a proper shower) looking like a Hollywood monster and greeting them with "The Master is not here. Would you like to come in and serve a cup of hot JW blood while waiting for him?"
- put a separate mailbox opening in the front gate with a sticker "For theist literature only" that drops right in the dumpbin below
...and the latest:
- borrow my dad's chainsaw and my girlfriend's brother's ski mask and... you can guess what next

...plus two from my best friend:
- listen to what they have to say (I know, it takes inhuman patience) and then ask them "So... what did you say you were selling?"
- tell them "Oh, come in... I was just heating up the witching pot... Say, you don't happen to have any badger entrails in that bag that you could spare, do you?"

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what to do with prozlatizers

Quote:
what to do with prozlatizers

Quote:
As soon as I gazed upon them I realized my mistake, and tried to slam the door shut, but it was too late! One jumped into the door frame, catching the door with his face and forcing it open. I fell back as they leapt in. I thought I was done for, but then I saw an umbrella next to the door. I grabbed it and skewered one of demons just as he descended towards me with his divine guilt trick, ready to strike. He stumbled and crashed into the floor, screaming about salvation. The other watched as his soul flew from his body and away. I stood up and pulled the umbrella from the mormon coprse. The remaining one had a look of fear on his face. I prepared to attack when two more crept through the doorway! It was like a horror movie. For every one I killed, two more took his place! I stuck the one closest to me in the heart, and he went down like the first one. The other two recoiled, but when two more came through the door they whipped out their condescending holier-than-thou spell. I deflected it with a brief recitation of religious abuse. They countered with a round of no-true-scottsman fallacies.

I had to get away from them, so I ran up the stairs towards my room. They chased close behind, so I turned and kicked one in the face with my steel-toed boots. He rolled down, tripping the others and slowing them up. I turned just in time to see two more of the monsters roar in through the front door. I continued on and made it to my room. I picked up a beer can laying on the floor and threw it at the first one that came in. He immediately started searching through his pamphlets for the one on teen drinking. This gave me just enough time to get to the stereo. I fumbled with the CDs, glancing back to see the evil ones coming towards me, razor edged help-through-god pamphlets outstretched. Knowing my end was near, I forced the Slayer CD into the stereo and put it on full blast. "Reign of Blood" came on and they all froze. I grabbed one of the speakers and used it as a shield. They all turned pale (-er) and dropped their books and pamphlets. Their eyes got very wide, and I shouted "YOUR HELMETS WON'T SAVE YOU NOW!!" They turned and tried to escape, but fell to the floor trying to cover their ears. I laughed as their heads exploded in blood and their bodies spontaneously combusted.

I went back downstairs to find more dead bodies in my doorway, of replacements that had unwisely tried to help their comrades. The mess took forever to clean up. I now keep an AK-47 in my umbrella stand next to the door, just to be ready. I still see them sometimes, as they stand at the edge of the property line and stare at my house contemptuously.

True story.


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shorty
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what to do with prozlatizers

WOW! it must be true.


Thor
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what to do with prozlatizers

Can someone please try this deconversion stratergy and tell me how it works:

Quote:
I can see a lot of people here have experienced this. You try to get a Christian to see the light, but they always retreat to some sort of anti-intellectual appraoch. God changed my life, answered my prayers. I feel him inside of me so you and your arguments are not going to be effective.

How do we get through to such people? Here's how. This is how it worked for me.

First, before showing them they are wrong, you have to teach them how to test truth claims. How do you do that? Simple. Show them, with proofs, that some belief they oppose is false.

For instance, suppose you are dealing with a Protestant. Prove to him that Catholicism is false. It won't be hard. He already wants to accept the proofs. Catholics think verses like Mt 16:18 prove that the pope is infallible. But it says no such thing. Show the Protestant these passages and many others like them. Show him how Popes have made mistakes throughout history in their official capacity (Galileo is a good example). Show him that church councils (which Roman Catholics believe are infallible) contradict one another (for instance the Fourth Lateran Councils claims submission to the Bishop of Rome is essential to salvation, but Vatican II says non Catholics can be saved.)

Show the Protestant that Mormons are wrong. Mormons read James 1:5 to you, which says that if any of you lack wisdom, let him ask God, who gives it abundantly. They'll then ask you to pray about the Book of Mormon to see if it is true. Explain to the Protestant the that text is not proof that you should pray to know such things. Wisdom is not knowledge. The Bible also teaches that "The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" This means you can't trust your internal feelings as a test for truth.

Your Christian friend is now learning tests for truth. He's learning logic. He's learning that it doesn't matter what you "feel." Catholics feel God is with them. Mormons feel God is with them. But that doesn't matter. What matters is, do your beliefs align with Scripture and reality.

There are so many different subjects you could use to allow the Christian to test his logical skills. Suppose he's a five point Calvinist. Take him to Romans 9 and prove that all non-Calvinists are wrong. If he's not a Calvinist, take him to I John 2, which shows that Calvinists are wrong (or the myriad of other texts that show Calvinists are wrong.) If he's young earth, show him the clear biblical teaching that the earth is young. If he's old earth, show him the texts that seem to allow for such an interpretation, and also show him the science.

So now the Christian is confident. His beliefs are rational and based on evidence. He's not one of these emotional people, basing his beliefs on the shifting sands of his own inner feelings. He's based on the Bible and on reality.

Only now do you hit him with evidence. When you do, he can't retreat to a feelings based approach. He can't resort to an irrational approach, because if he does he admits that he can't show that Catholics are wrong and Calvinists are wrong. That's unacceptable.

I've actually sort of used this method. Not exactly as I described it. What happened was a friend of mind introduced me to apologetics. I used it to prove everyone that disagreed with me wrong. And it felt really good to have a Reasonable Faith. I took a lot of friends and family along with me. They became apologists and really liked it.

But now I know how to evaluate evidence. Now when confronted with evidence I can't retreat from it. I have to either face it, or admit that everything I had done proving Catholics and Mormons wrong was invalid. But I knew it wasn't. So I had to abandon my faith.

Did my friends and family abondon their faith? One has turned completely. He was one that was deeply immersed in apologetics. A lot of them are changing to a far more pleasant form of Christianity. They must choose between rejecting Christianity or rejecting their tests for truth. Some have rejected the test for truth. This has sort of turned them into liberal Christians. They admit it is impossible to know if Catholics are right or if Calvinists are right. So the evangelizing slows down quite a bit. Maybe it's not exactly what you'd like to see happen, but it is an improvement.

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shedevil
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what to do with prozlatizers

I put this on my front door:

I'd say it weeds out 50% of what we used to get. The stupid baptists and JW's apparently think this sign doesn't apply to them.


shorty
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what to do with prozlatizers

shedevil wrote:
I put this on my front door:

I'd say it weeds out 50% of what we used to get. The stupid baptists and JW's apparently think this sign doesn't apply to them.

really id like to hear tthat conversation

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MattShizzle
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what to do with prozlatizers

I did already when they came to the door come right out and tell them I was an Atheist. It was 2 women, fairly young. They were dressed like in 19th century clthes - heavy dresses, and one of those like semi-clear cloth things over the top of their head. When I told them they looked sad, and like they felt pity. Why should they pity me? i'd pity them. Their the ones who have to dress like that and probably get made fun of (of course that probably makes them feel good - they're being persecuted.) And, of course, I don't have to waste my weekend knocking on people's doors annoying them by preaching about a myth to them. And remember, if they are doing it on a Sunday, they're violating the sabbath! Laughing out loud

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ElOtroBrownMeat
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what to do with prozlatizers

I personally love it when they come to my door, although they soon learn to avoid me Sad. It's usually early in the morning after a long night that I let them in to wake me up, they're very educational/entertaining and pack a better kick than coffee. Once I get my fix and a good laugh I tell them how much I appreciate their visit and to please come back any time, for when they're at my place they're not bothering my neighbors. Then I ask for permission to interview their congregation on my study of mass psychosis.


shedevil
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what to do with prozlatizers

shorty wrote:
shedevil wrote:
I put this on my front door:

I'd say it weeds out 50% of what we used to get. The stupid baptists and JW's apparently think this sign doesn't apply to them.

really id like to hear tthat conversation

It generally goes something like this:

ME: Didn't you see the sign?!?!

Them: Do you want to go to heaven when you die? Wouldn't you like to be assured that you'll be heaven?

ME: No, get the hell off my property.

Them: Can we just leave these tracts for you to read when you have time?

ME: Sure, see that trash can? Put them in there on the way off my property.

Them: We'll pray for you.

ME: *yawn*

I have to admit I'm nicer to the poor teens the baptists drop off in my neighborhood. They come in these white buses and they have to go out in groups and pass out tracts and junk. If they don't do it, the can't graduate from their non-accredited high school. (I got this info from a friend who used to attend that church.)


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I let them in every time.

No really. My mother started me on that route when I was a wee lad. She always let them in too. We embrace the philosophy of "what's the point of having beliefs if they can't withstand counter-views", so we invite them in for coffee and we discuss things with them. You'd be suprised how damned pleasant they can be. And they're willing to talk most of the time; it's the ones that memorize the answers that aren't worth talking to, but educated theists (*prepares for oxymoron snarkiness*) are often very willing to listen to counter-arguments.

Right now the JW's come to my mother's house every Wednesday. They tell us they look forward to discussions (I haven't visited in a long time though, at least not as far as any Wednesdays). And they sit and constructively and reasonably debate with us/her with respect and ettiquette. If they didn't we wouldn't invite them back!

Which side is making progress? Eh, probably none. But being an atheist and my mother being an agnostic, we like to see how well our viewpoints hold against people educated in the Bible and whatnot. Anything we stumble on makes us look deeper into the realms of science and theism and thus the learning process never stagnates.

*shrug*

Hell, one of my closest e-friends in a right wing Fundie and I would take a bullet for the guy. Not all theists freak when questioned, and I've discovered many willing to reject their teachings should they ever truly be proven wrong. The problem is that the whole "faith" thing can't be proven wrong as far as their viewpoints, but that's not the point. The point is self-growth and all that jazz.

Afterall, I try not to be like the psycho-theists, so I listen to people and what they have to say instead of froth when they don't agree with me.

Laughing out loud

Then I shoot 'em.

-=Grim=-

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floatingegg
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what to do with prozlatizers

I just tell them that I'm an atheist and that usually scares them away. If they're brave, I'll invite them in for a drink and conversation. That really scares them.