Razorcade and Darth's great big thread of funny remarks.

darth_josh
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Razorcade and Darth's great big thread of funny remarks.

The idea here is to create a thread chronicling the BEST remarks made in any forum, show, thread, blog, or chat.

By BEST, we mean the funniest, cruellest, coldest, and most quotable comments/one-liners. If it needs too much explanation then it probably won't be as funny as it was initially.

Preferably, the person making the comment and the person the commented is directed at should remain anonymous unless permitted.

An example:

person1: I would like to do one on who would win a bar fight.

person2: XXXX, i only read as far as, "i would like to do one"


darth_josh
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Quote:Quote:Oh, I've another

Quote:
Quote:

Oh, I've another question, where will you be on L Ron's birthday?

Enturbulating furiously.

 

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I AM GOD AS YOU
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  Love a christian, put

  Love a christian, put darth_josh on them. Sorry that wasn't funny, but bumping with  darth_josh  is ....  where did that guru go anyway ?


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Although this is a rather

Although this is a rather egocentric thing to do, upon review I found this rather amusing:

deludedgod wrote:

In English, this means that the force on a charged particle in an electric field is equivalent to the inverse of Four Pi x the permittitivity of the medium, multiplied by the charge divided the square of the evaluation point radius of the induced field relative to the particle multiplied by the unit vector in a directional field.

 

"Physical reality” isn’t some arbitrary demarcation. It is defined in terms of what we can systematically investigate, directly or not, by means of our senses. It is preposterous to assert that the process of systematic scientific reasoning arbitrarily excludes “non-physical explanations” because the very notion of “non-physical explanation” is contradictory.

-Me

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  Yeah DG , you is way

  Yeah DG , you is way funny too .... Turn UP that funny , "save GOD", help poor god  !


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Theist Retard from Urban

Theist Retard from Urban Chat forums wrote:
idk who yaweh is.............and maybe you should practice what you preach...............ooooh wooooow Rook Hawkins told u something....omg amazing!!!! i guess i should really feel bad.....not......if im not worthy then stop talking to me duh........you site rook and other people b/c they are ones who fight you battles.........you cant do anything for yourself....scary ass..........."you dont know what you are talking about, its a shame; you are the epitome of the ignorance in that forum" you-"what? im going to tell "my people"...*runs to the rrs forums* roooook!!! oh trusted historian!!!"................lmao damn shame

I got attacked for saying that the Greeks weren't Israelites,and that cunt went off on me. She started to attack me,my character,the RRS,and other shit. What a moron.

Nero(in response to a Youth pastor) wrote:

You are afraid and should be thus.  We look to eradicate your god from everything but history books.  We bring rationality and clear thought to those who choose lives of ignorance.  We are the blazing, incandescent brand that will leave an "A" so livid, so scarlet on your mind that you will not go an hour without reflecting on reality.


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I've saved enough of these

I've saved enough of these to fill a large book ,

 triften "Sorry to give a blip of a response to your [ theist ] compositions, but... Can't the "misinterpretation" argument be applied to any claim? If so, something that can prove anything can prove nothing."

Brian37 "I am not afriad of your fictional character because EVIDENCE is what you dont have. And if you think I am going to cower to a fictional threat uttered by a human because they want a magical sky daddy to beat up on the critics, you are sadly mistaken."

Archeopteryx "Faith is like virginity. You can't appreciate how annoying it is until you actually lose it."

Cali_Athiest2 " If a god does indeed exist it would be outside of any understanding we could possibly have of it. Would god be jealous, empathetic or fair? If god created man in its' own image then man returned the favor."

Mr. Atheist says, "Find faith in truth, not truth in faith"

ProzacDeathWish "Screw what you hate ? Husbands and wives have been doing that for years. "

ProzacDeathWish "Please, stop me before I kill again!" GOD

 "By not caring too much about what people think, I'm able to think for myself and propagate ideas which are very often unpopular. And I succeed." -Al

>>>> HC Grindon p.s. The RRS Surgeon General has warned that attempting to interpret posts made by our friend I AM GOD AS YOU may lead to dizzyness, seizures, insanity, and/or brain cancer. (smiley)

ME, Keep the AWE, fuck the DOGMA

ME, Yeah, when you are GOD , there is no other god, God is Godless ....     

IntellectualTitan "The more you know about the world around you, the less you have to make up."

This is madness! - Madness? THIS IS. THEISM!!!!~Waiting for Oblivion

"If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!"

 


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Quote:Who worries about

Quote:
Who worries about silly things like food and shelter when your eternal soul is at risk? Oh ya.. sane people.

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These get me's funny on,  

These get me's funny on,         

from rrs greek goddess "In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." ~ Douglas Adams  

from rrs Eloise - "We must question the story logic of having an all-knowing all-powerful God, who creates faulty Humans, and then blames them for his own mistakes."  Gene Roddenberry   

"Readiness to answer all questions is the infallible sign of stupidity."  Saul Bellow

Me, "I AM G AWE D ..... as you ....."


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What was your

What was your source?

Quote:

Alice Bailey - A Treatise on White magic, somewhere around chapter 4, I guess.

"You may as wll have quoted Scooby Doo, Series 3, Episode 4 as your source."

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Sapient wrote:Unlike you,

Sapient wrote:

Unlike you, science isn't willing to bullshit you with an answer just so it has one.


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"Nothing Jazzes me more than

"Nothing Jazzes me more than incurring the wrath of some myopic, orgasm-less, gravy stained, moo moo wearing theist..."


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This was on another site

This was on another site where I was arguing with conservatives - and pointed out how religiousity and conservativism are positively correlated, while both are inversely correlated with intelligence and education:

 

(paraphrasing "white, god-fearing republican" )

"Stop using such big words. I don't understand them. "

 

Edit: Note I am not making this up and didn't change the meaning at all. If anything, it was only a minor wording change.

Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team


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  "truthfully, I can't

 

 

"truthfully, I can't think of a better place for the two of them... beating each other over the head with internet shovels in a back alley."

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theist write-in wrote:

 Posted to a 'You Respond' by another sitemember:

 

theist write-in wrote:
Then god will destroy the earth. He will throw Satin into the lake of fire, along with all the non believers. I think that this day is coming pretty soon. 

That's not a good enough excuse.  Go finish your homework!

 

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yep, that last one was funny

yep, that last one was funny but this one (in the same post) really had me laughing

 Posted to a 'You Respond' by another sitemember:

RationalResponseSquad wrote:
Its where satin lives.

I'm glad clovis Christian School endorses the alternate spelling of "satan".  As I've always said, "teach the controversy!"


 


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Quote:Quote:Maybe we should

Quote:

Quote:

Maybe we should invent a new religion in which people get in to heaven by being a good person.

Ah-Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hehe.

Ha!

Huh.

Whoo.

Oh. That's fresh.

...

Yeah, that would never fly.

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darth_josh

darth_josh wrote:

Quote:

Quote:

Maybe we should invent a new religion in which people get in to heaven by being a good person.

Ah-Hahahahahahahahaha!

Hehe.

Ha!

Huh.

Whoo.

Oh. That's fresh.

...

Yeah, that would never fly.

Nice to know my humor was evident in the text. I forgot to put a smiley.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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I found it!Quote:And to help

I found it!

Quote:
And to help with that ... here's a handy guide (cue 50s instructional video music):

When discussing topics of personal attractiveness or manner of dress with other people, be kind no matter what. It's the thing to do that's the opposite of stupid. For example, when someone says, "How do I look?" you say "Great!" even if they look terrible, like modern architecture.

Let's try it!

"Hey, Will, what's up? Do you like my new dress?"

"No, it makes you look fat. Also, your hair looks lame in braids."

Buuuzzzzz. Sorry, wrong answer. Let's try again.

"Hey, Will, what do you think of my new hairstyle?"

"It's great! Have you ever tried your hair down? That would look good, too."

Bing bing bing! Correct!

Notice how Will was able to make a constructive suggestion instead of just being a Debbie Downer.

Thanks for playing. Next time, we'll show you how to charm any woman on earth.

"Go on, guess how old I am!"

"21"

Don't hesitate, boys, just say "21", regardless. Younger women will think you think they're mature, and older women will appreciate that you're a silver-tongued devil. Women who are actually 21 will immediately want to sleep with you because of your magical powers.

Tune in next time!

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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Not to toot my own horn, but

Not to toot my own horn, but I like to pull these out on theists occasionally.

1. Poney up with some spirit sperm.

2. Show me how human flesh survives rigor mortis without "POOF" logic.

3. Yea, and I can fart a full sized Lamborghini out of my ass.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog


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In the face of yet another

In the face of yet another atheist turns christian anecdote wrote:
I heard that there was this guy once who was eating baby kittens and raping women for breakfast, and he was in this hotel room, and he opened the Gideon's Bible, and it opened right up to a verse that said, "Thou shalt not rape women and eat kittens before lunch."  The thing is, there's no verse in the Bible like that.  God put it there, just so he could see it.  So you know what he did?

He switched to dog.

 

 

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darth_josh wrote:The idea

[content deleted by darth_josh for being irrelevant to an irrelevant thread]


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From AronRa at the Reason

From AronRa at the Reason Rally, flaying two of Ray Comfort's born-again sheeple:

 

Sheeple:  If I see a building, I'll say there was a builder.

AronRa:  If you see a river do you assume somebody dug the river?

Sheeple:  If I see creation, I say there must have been a creator.

AronRa:  If you see Reality, do you think there was a Realtor?

 

There are no theists on operating tables.

πππ†
π†††


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"WHO LET THIS IRA

"WHO LET THIS IRA MOTHERFUCKER INTO MY BAR?!"

[...]

[...]

"Only kidding... how's your mother?"

"Oh ...she's on her way out."

"We all are. Act accordingly. As for our problem down in Providence... let's not cry over spilled guineas."

 

What? It said "thread of funny remarks."

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)