How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Offline How many Roman Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
- None: candles only, (and drop a little something in the box)
How many Mormons does it take to change a light bulb?
- One man to change the bulb and four wives to nag him about it.
How many Scientologists does it take to change a light bulb?
- Just Tom Cruise, maybe he'll fall off a ladder, or get kidnapped by Xenu.
How many Nazarene does it take to change a light bulb?
- Six, one woman to change the bulb and five men to review the church lighting policy
How many Amish does it take to change a light bulb?
- What's a light bulb?
How many Lutherans does it take to change a light bulb?
- none, Lutherans don't believe in change.
How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
- at least 15, one changes the bulb, 3 committees approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken next Sunday.
How many Presbyterians does it take to change a light bulb?
- lights will go on and off at predestined times
How many Pentecostal does it take to change a light bulb?
- ten, one to change the bulb and nine to pray for protection for the spirit of darkness
How many Seventh Day Adventists does it take to change a light bulb?
- One, but never between sunset on Friday and sunset on Saturday.
How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three, one to change the bulb, one to mix drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old bulb was.
How many Unitarians does it take to change a light bulb?
- they choose not to make a statement in favor or against the light bulb. In your own journey you should find the light bulb that works for you. Then write a poem about it and explore the many lighting options.
How many Agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?
- we can never know
How many born-again Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
- none, they have already seen the light.
How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
- none, the light bulb never goes out. (Hanukkah)
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
- one, the light bulb does what it does, when it goes out, just change it.
Consider this account closed. It's disgraceful this site has no function to delete an account. I cannot be part of an organization that seeks only to replace the religion of the god of the bible with the religion of "poor me" bleeding heart liberalism. Rational my ass! Not believing in a god is one thing. A rational view of the rest of the world is something else, which isn't found here.
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This was already just overcooked on James Randi's weekly newsletter the Swift. Lame to just copy the idea and put it here. And you didn't even get the best one!
How many surrealist painters does it take to change a light bulb?
A fish.
I love light bulb jokes.
I have a few.
How many Goths does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they'd rather sit in the dark.
How many Nazi skinheads does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they'll never see the light.
How many punks does it take to change a light bulb?
Fuck you.
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only 2, but that's not half as interesting as how they got in there in the first place!
Matt Shizzle has been banned from the Rational Response Squad website. This event shall provide an atmosphere more conducive to social growth. - Majority of the mod team
How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one. He holds onto the bulb and the world revolves around him.
How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three. One to screw in the light bulb, and two to form a folk duo and write a song about it.
How many sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Ten. One to screw in the light bulb, two to stand around cheering, six to form a committee to design t-shirts, and one black girl to be in the group so the school doesn't get sued.
(Anybody remember a few years ago the University of Georgia had a sorority get sued for being racist?)
(I like the surrealist one... hadn't heard that before.)
Atheism isn't a lot like religion at all. Unless by "religion" you mean "not religion". --Ciarin
http://hambydammit.wordpress.com/
Books about atheism
ooh, you reminded me of one hamby
How many bull-dykes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two, one to screw in the light bulb and the one to suck my dick.
Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three, but they're really only one.
Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
Q. How many Microsoft engineers does it take to
change a lightbulb?
A: None. Microsoft has redefined Darkness (TM) to be the new
standard.
Q: HOW MANY SOUTHERN BAPTISTS
DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHTBULB?
A: One hundred and nine.
Seven on the Lightbulb Task Force Sub-committee,
who report to the twelve on the Lightbulb Task
Force, appointed by the fifteen on the Trustee
Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the
Finance Executive Committee of five, who place it
on the agenda of the eighteen-member Finance
Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to
the twenty-seven Member church Board, who
appoint another twelve-member review committee.
If they recommend that the Church Board proceed,
a resolution is brought to the Congregational
Business Meeting. They appoint another
eight-member review committee. If their report to
the next Congregational Business Meeting supports
the changing of a lightbulb, and the Congregation
votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the
lightbulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board,
who in turn appoint a seven-member committee to
find the best price in new lightbulbs. Their
recommendation of which hardware is the best buy
must then be reviewed by the
twenty-three-member Ethics Committee to make
certain that this hardware store has no connection
to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee
Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge
of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By
then the janitor discovers that one more lightbulb
has burned out.
you got the atheist joke wrong, its two. one to change the light bulb an another to video tape it to prove that it was not the work of God