My sweet woman of virtue...

EvilDionysus
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My sweet woman of virtue...

In my line of work, we occasionally get a few temporary workers from one of the local offices to come and help us out when we get busy. Most of the time these people last about a week before they realize that perhaps they should not have thrown away the chance at going to Harvard, so they quit. One person in particular caught my eye because she appeared to have a body-fat percentage of less than 15%, a small miracle when you take into account the number of orcas that you encounter in a factory setting. Plus she had these eyes that were slightly slanted and exotic. It took me a few days to really see the potential with this young lady and when I turned on the charm, she responded.

Like everything in life, there is a price you pay for everything and I started paying my dues when she began to talk about how Jesus walks and talks through her, which is enough to make any future hard-on wither like a salt-saturated slug in the Sahara, or so I thought. The more I looked at her legs and ass, during the days that she decided to wear tight jeans, the less I though about the fact that she had been brain-washed. I mean think about it, my little head can't think like the big head so it doesn't understand monotheism and philosophy, which causes it to respond to lust irrespective of the archaic beliefs of any lady whom I find desirable. I decided to throw caution to the wind and I invited her out for drinks and bowling.

In our previous conversations I noticed that she would contradict herself quite often and whenever she said something that went against scripture, I called her up on it. She asked me if I believed in Darwinism and I told her that I don't believe in it, I know it to be true. Then she proceeds to tell me that if she ever become rich, forgetting that part in the bible about how it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, she would blow up The Galapagos Islands since that's where Darwin made a few observations. These are the type of people that I share a state with, here in Bumblefuck, Ohio.

So I pick her up and drive her to where I meet my buddies for a few frames and she tells me how she doesn't like to fuck but she will appreciate it when a man sucks on her tits while she masturbates. This is when I decided that when it comes to which head is smarter, size matters not. For once my little head made the correct call. Of course she also told me that she was in rehab yet I decided that she must be trying to get her life back in order because she showed up for work everyday and busted her ass. Things went steadily downhill after that.

My future ex-wife proceeded to become quite intoxicated as well as telling me to take her to her mothers' so she can get some weed! On the drive over there I put my hand on her leg to see if she would resist. Well, she redirected it to her pussy and I began to massage it through her jeans with quite a bit of strength, making her a little excited. During our visit to her mothers' house, she smoked a few bowls and we decided that it would be best to call it a night. Just before I got to her street, I heard her burp up some fluid, so I pulled over and told her to open the door and get it out of your system. Sure enough, she decided to share everything she drank that night with the earthworms but thankfully I stopped in time before the interior of my car could have been redecorated. Eventually, I got her back to her place and even asked if she needed to be tucked in. Nope, I had to spend the night alone once more but the effort was made. I wonder what Jesus thought of the whole night?


jcgadfly
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If she's like any of the

If she's like any of the other Christians I've met, the process is:

1) commit various and sundry "sins"
2) generate some remorse
3) ask for forgiveness
4) go to step 1

Lather, rinse, repeat.

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin


darth_josh
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EvilDionysus wrote: In

EvilDionysus wrote:
In my line of work, we occasionally get a few temporary workers from one of the local offices to come and help us out when we get busy. Most of the time these people last about a week before they realize that perhaps they should not have thrown away the chance at going to Harvard, so they quit. One person in particular caught my eye because she appeared to have a body-fat percentage of less than 15%, a small miracle when you take into account the number of orcas that you encounter in a factory setting. Plus she had these eyes that were slightly slanted and exotic. It took me a few days to really see the potential with this young lady and when I turned on the charm, she responded.

The preponderance of 'orcas' makes the few skinny chicks look like supermodels. I suggest an objective comparison to another female that you find attractive outside of work.
I've been here and share your pain. Empathy through common experience.

Quote:
Like everything in life, there is a price you pay for everything and I started paying my dues when she began to talk about how Jesus walks and talks through her, which is enough to make any future hard-on wither like a salt-saturated slug in the Sahara, or so I thought. The more I looked at her legs and ass, during the days that she decided to wear tight jeans, the less I though about the fact that she had been brain-washed. I mean think about it, my little head can't think like the big head so it doesn't understand monotheism and philosophy, which causes it to respond to lust irrespective of the archaic beliefs of any lady whom I find desirable. I decided to throw caution to the wind and I invited her out for drinks and bowling.

Red Flag #1

Quote:
In our previous conversations I noticed that she would contradict herself quite often and whenever she said something that went against scripture, I called her up on it. She asked me if I believed in Darwinism and I told her that I don't believe in it, I know it to be true. Then she proceeds to tell me that if she ever become rich, forgetting that part in the bible about how it's easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven, she would blow up The Galapagos Islands since that's where Darwin made a few observations. These are the type of people that I share a state with, here in Bumblefuck, Ohio.

So I pick her up and drive her to where I meet my buddies for a few frames and she tells me how she doesn't like to fuck but she will appreciate it when a man sucks on her tits while she masturbates. This is when I decided that when it comes to which head is smarter, size matters not. For once my little head made the correct call. Of course she also told me that she was in rehab yet I decided that she must be trying to get her life back in order because she showed up for work everyday and busted her ass. Things went steadily downhill after that.

Red Flag #2

Quote:
My future ex-wife proceeded to become quite intoxicated as well as telling me to take her to her mothers' so she can get some weed! On the drive over there I put my hand on her leg to see if she would resist. Well, she redirected it to her pussy and I began to massage it through her jeans with quite a bit of strength, making her a little excited. During our visit to her mothers' house, she smoked a few bowls and we decided that it would be best to call it a night. Just before I got to her street, I heard her burp up some fluid, so I pulled over and told her to open the door and get it out of your system. Sure enough, she decided to share everything she drank that night with the earthworms but thankfully I stopped in time before the interior of my car could have been redecorated. Eventually, I got her back to her place and even asked if she needed to be tucked in. Nope, I had to spend the night alone once more but the effort was made. I wonder what Jesus thought of the whole night?

Three up. Three down. Next batter please.

If you persist then directly after you do anything with her then she'll feel guilty. I'm not much of a gambler but odds are that she has a boyfriend already(out of town or just too busy).

If I knew then what I know now then I wouldn't have my walking, breathing 'issue' of a life partner. Get out before it's too late.

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EvilDionysus
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My girl...

It's pretty much over and done with. Damn, if only I could have shot a load on her face though. I truly do despise missed oppurtunities. She called me Saturday night and we went out again only this time she puked on me and then in my car. I should have dumped her decadent ass on the street yet my stupid humanism got in the way. I tried to call out to the gods of nihilism but they were out for a smoke. What a body she had! I never really cared that much for her anyways. Just another attempt to get some ass, really. If anyone wants to check out my Myspace profile, here it is. I'm working on adding more blod entries. I do enjoy this site a great deal.

www.myspace.com/mccone31


politicalhumanist
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You're picking up on chicks

You're picking up on chicks at work? WTF? Dude, in Leykis 101 Professor Leykis states:

"If you give a rat's ass about your job, don't talk to females at work unless it's related to work. In today's world it is very easy for a man to burnt with a sexual harassment. So, limit your conversations to: 'Good morning', 'How are you' (that's optional), and 'good bye'."

- Tom Leykis

Seriously, there better places than work to pick up pun.


Insidium Profundis
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It is best to avoid

It is best to avoid sub-human scum.