The Atheist and the Bear
An atheist was walking through the woods one day, admiring all that evolution had created. Suddenly he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw an 8 foot grizzly bear beginning to charge toward him.
He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him Running faster yet, he looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding in his chest. He tried to run faster. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground.
As he rolled over to pick himself up, the bear was right over him, reaching for him with its left paw and raising its right paw to strike him. The atheist cried..."GOD DAMN!..."
Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the river stopped moving. As a brilliant light shone upon the man, a thunderous voice came from the sky.
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS, TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST AND EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. NOW, YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU AND DAMN THIS BEAR? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A CHRISTIAN?"
The atheist looked directly into the light and said, "Why don't you try and make the bear a Christian?"
"VERY WELL," said the voice. The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed. ... and the bear dropped down to his knees, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank."-Woody Allen
"Atheism is life affirming in a way religion can never be."-Richard Dawkins