I Found Jesus
Posted on: January 11, 2008 - 5:35am
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I Found Jesus
Hey guys, I found Jesus. I'll keep this short since I do not wish to load you down with one of those 'deep-inward-journey-but-I-knew-all-along' bits of rubbish. It turns out He has lived down the street the whole time. He has a brand new Escalade that he parks in his front yard and it has spinners (the Escalade, not the yard). On his backglass, there is a huge sticker that says Ecuador. E-C-U-A-D-O-R Hehe - that's funny. That must be Spanish for Israel. 
"Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error."
-Optimus Prime
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Well I'll be damned. I guess the fundies were right all along. Jesus really is alive.
Do me a favor and have him call me. I own a water bottling business that's not doing too well. Tell him I'll give him 15% of the profits if he can turn it into a winery.
Man. Me and Jesus are gonna be RICH!! Yeeee Haaaa!!
Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?
Hey,
Get some pics of him.
Keep your eyes peeled and you may witness his friends Waldo and Carmen Sandiego.
The League of Elusive Figures
A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.
I eared that Jesus and Elvis lived together as a gay couple and wanted to get married pretty soon.
Is that true ?
Si Dieu existe, c'est Son problème !
If God exists, it's His problem !--Graffiti on the walls of the Sorbonne (France), May 1968
romancedlife.blogspot.com
Hey, my nighttime gig is at a Cigar and Wine Bar...let's schedule a Jeebus & Rick wine tasting sometime! I'll have our chef whip up some cross-shaped grilled fish kabobs...
HCG
Actually jesus died in the World Trade Center
I wonder if Jesus turned water into red or white wine.
I should do that before the Immigration guys come
Dude, dudes, dudes...
Why not a strip bar too? He lives down the street from me, so *I* am the one with the hook-up lol
"Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error."
-Optimus Prime
Hard to say... There are about seven other men in that house.
"Sometimes even the wisest of man or machine can make an error."
-Optimus Prime
It was true but they broke up. Everytime God dropped by for a visit they had to pretend to be roomates. Elvis finally moved out and is now singing at a nightclub in a leprechaun colony in South Carolina.
Frosty's coming back someday. Will you be ready?
I wonder if jesus turned water into white wine or red wine?
It was probably White Zinfandel, that cheap bastard.
Atheists agree: Adults should not have imaginary friends.
I always knew the guy would turn up somewhere. Dickhead.
I thought Bush sent that liberal hippie to Guantanamo.
D'uh. Don't you know anything. Only muslims go to Guantanamo. D'uh.
I took a shit that looked like the virgin mary once.
Similarly, I puked a jesus face! I should have let it dry and sold it on ebay.
Miracles don't exist. "Miracle" is a word given to a preposterous event that a theist considers dogmatically advantageous. Def. - Ecclesiastical sensationalism.