Why is it always about the atheism?

shelley
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Why is it always about the atheism?

I had the misfortune to go to a Catholic School for 11th and 12th grade.  I went to a secular private boarding school in 9th and 10th...

Well it's now time for the 10 year reunion.  I use a wheelchair - I didn't in HS but I do now for reasons I'll skip to keep this on point. The boarding school's reunion was earlier this year.  I didn't think I would go.  I was sick coming up to it and from what I remembered the campus was not very friendly to wheelchairs.  A week beforehand I called just to see.  Told them I was semi-interested in going and believe it or not this school changed all the weekend events for my class to accessiable locations.  I was surprised how much the school had changed - putting in ramps and what not - and had a great time.

I had intended to go to the Catholic school reunion for some time.  I started writing to them about a year ago - in regards to my disability.  I even offered to plan the reunion myself.  I never received a response until about 3 months ago.  They told me they had not picked a location for the dinner and would take my disability into consideration.  They said they would welcome my help and be in touch.  Another student was also disabled since graduating however she heard that they knew about me so she didn't write in. 

Well believe it or not they scheduled the reunion in a place that was not accessible.  When I brought this up they didn't actually apologize (not right away at least).  They wanted to know all the 411 on my disability.  When I wouldn't answer all their questions (not because I was hiding anything but because my detailed medical history would not eliminate the flight of stairs in the chosen venue), they proceeded to contact my "friends" on facebook/myspace and ask them "what was wrong with me."  Well how many people are really best buddies with every "friend" on myspace... I hadn't talked to these people in 10 years and all they could do after all this time was flood me with e-mails that said "What's wrong with you?" 

They just had to inform me about the alumni mass at this point.  I told them I wasn't Catholic (didn't want to set them off with the A word) and neither was my fiance but even if we were, a mass really isn't the time and place to be reuniting with people you haven't seen in 10 years. 

I told the school to take me off their lists.  I was humilated and they weren't going to change the location anyway.  I wanted no part in it.  At this point they apologized.  Well, too little, too late.  I told them: "When I graduated I wished I had spent 4 years at XXX but now I'm glad I only spent two years there because when someone asks me 'Where did you go to high school?' I can give them an answer that is not XXX."

They didn't take me off all their lists - they say it's because they assumed I still wanted the alumni newsletter - I told them to save the trees.  (Just between us - I like Cottonelle better than their newsletters anyway.Eye-wink )  Anyway, they sent out a mass e-mail that everyone has to reply to publically stating if they are going to the reunion or not.  So my inbox is now full of repeated reminders that I have been excluded.  To make matters worse, I received this yesterday:

Shelly,
Did you see (reunion planner name deleted) EMail today? I will forward it to you. I really think you should just let all this silly stuff go and come to the reunion. We would love to see you. I know she did not change the location but if you asked nicely she still has time to. I'm sorry atheism has changed you.
Yours in Christ!
(Author name deleted)

Can someone please tell me what "atheism" has to do with not going to a reunion because I was excluded based on my disability?  Last I checked disabilities spanned every religion or lack thereof.  

Among other things - I've said this to them:

"I would really hope that future reunions correspond more closely to the mission of the school and the legacy of St. Frances."  (The school has a big thing about Mr. Frances...)

In closing, I just want to add that basically these people F-ed up.  I wasn't an atheist in HS and I haven't really talked to them since.  They basically saw it on my myspace/facebook profile and decided to use my atheism for a scapegoat of their mistake.  Things like this make me think after they F-ed up they then decided to keep up the discrimination solely because of the religion column on my profile.  Why is it always about the atheism? 


Nero
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Shelley: I wanted to write

Shelley:

I wanted to write a few words of support.  While I am not in a wheelchair, I had a stroke at 23.  I lost much of the movement in my left leg, lost hearing in one ear, and my hair went grey.  I have a tough time getting around with my cane and know the frustration of staring at a flight of stairs. 

Your Almamater sounds like it needs some serious counseling.  I am surprised that they didn't have some assistance in place.  However, I am super pissed at the idea of them making the fact public and causing you distress over old acquaintances.  I suspect that you have been dealing with lackeys.  Perhaps approaching the Headmaster would help?  Or you may want to send some letters to the Master of the Order. 

Don't let them have the last word on it.  If necessary, we'll go beat the tar out of those cowled creeps together!

"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer


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Thanks for your support

Thanks for your support Nero.  I'm 28 and have been in a wheelchair since I was 24 so I sympathize with having medical difficulties at the prime of your life, so to speak.

I did think this whole thing was rather childish and the behavior I would have expected when I was *in* high school but it's been 10 years and while there is a volunteer organizer from our class, the alumni department is made up of two adults that from their pictures on the website must be in their 40s.

It really gets me that when I first said something they said, oh you can go to the mass.  It really made me feel like they were just assuming a girl in a wheelchair didn't need to go to the dinner/bar main event.  After I told them I was not Catholic anymore they still said it three more times.

I decided I just didn't want to go when they made it so "public" because I don't want to reunite with people just for my wheelchair to be the topic of conversation. 

I guess my experience at the boarding school's reunion spoiled me.  They didn't make me feel excluded at all.  When moving the dinner from one campus building from another they didn't tell the world why - they just updated a poster.  I felt respected.

I would think this Catholic school (despite having one year's notice) would just act a little more christian-y.  I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I still feel hurt. 

 I started a thread on a class of '97 forum about what they did and how I thought other people should write in (I included the contact info for the administrators at the school)- that it may be me now but what's going to happen when it's been 20 or 30 years and everyone is using a cane - or sadly, alumni come back from War injured, etc.  One person has voiced her support.  I hope more do.  I really believe that having people make statements to the school is the only thing that will make them change but of course now my whole school has heard that I'm a disabled atheist and today alone I've received three "I'll pray for you" e-mails.

 


Nero
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Well, you are clearly much

Well, you are clearly much nicer than I am.  I was always known to be a bit "extreme."  When I had my ten year reunion last year and people asked rude questions, I swung my cane at them. 

Well, screw them.  As for the prayers, I would reply that they should have done that praying beforehand, and that it isn't going to do anything now. 

At any rate, there are others of use out here, and we know what you mean.

"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer


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Sad

Sounds just like most of the xtians I know who can justify anything they want to do using bastardized logic.

Morte alla tyrannus et dei


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Shelley,

Shelley,

This is blatant discrimination - based both on disability (you obviously weren't the only possible attendee with a disability, and even if you had been that doesn't matter) and the fact that you're an atheist. And there's no acceptable excuse or reason for either - not the age of the organizers nor that you attended a Catholic school, or anything else.

Whether or not you attended the mass, and why you didn't if you chose not to, had nothing what so ever to do with you attending the dinner. That is ludicrous. There's no excuse for not holding the dinner in a venue where everyone can have access, no matter what. Period.

That these people not only had no shame that they had discriminated against you (and others as well), but then turned around on top of that and humiliated you by sending out the mass email about you is incredible.

I absolutely detest it when people do these kinds of things and think they can somehow justify their actions and choices because of they are 'this' or 'that' (read religious here) and someone else isn't.

If prayer wasn't useless I'd say they should be praying for themselves, not other people.

Discrimination is discrimination - anyway you slice it. Discriminating against atheists is the same as discriminating against any other group of people or persons - people based on the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their choice of religion, etc., etc. and it isn't okay. Ever. (I know - I'm preaching to the choir here Eye-wink )

This pisses me off muchly.

 

 

 

Keep your theology off my biology.


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Zombie wrote: Sounds just

Zombie wrote:
Sounds just like most of the xtians I know who can justify anything they want to do using bastardized logic.

 Zombie:

I hate to be a bummer, but you have a baby growing out of your shoulder.  I would see a physician as soon as possible if you hadn't already noticed it.

"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer


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I did tell them early on

I did tell them early on that I could understand if they had the reunion in an unaccessible location if they looked around and found all the accessible ones were booked, or if they chose a location that was sentimental to our class - like behind the 7-11 Eye-wink - but of course, that was not the case. 

I honestly feel that they fucked up and instead of taking or shifting the blame they decided to try and make me feel guilty about not believing in go.  Well fuck that - I don't - and if they weren't snooping around my myspace/facebook profile to find my friends to write to they never would have known anyway.

I am really pissed.  A ton of people in my class have written to me - lately people seem to want to see me on the side that weekend.  Well my fiance and I planned a trip that weekend so I wouldn't be sitting at home thinking about how everyone gets to have fun... but besides that I have pretty much told people that if they want to help me they should write to the school and tell them how f-ed up this is.

I have a line I use often in these situations... "Sometimes I really wish there was a God because no God would put up with this shit." 


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LOL

Nero wrote:

Zombie wrote:
Sounds just like most of the xtians I know who can justify anything they want to do using bastardized logic.

Zombie:

I hate to be a bummer, but you have a baby growing out of your shoulder. I would see a physician as soon as possible if you hadn't already noticed it.

Lol, thats my best friends daughter, he would probaly get miffed if i cut her off the next time i was wearing that gettup. Smiling 

Morte alla tyrannus et dei


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Clearly if you believed in

Clearly if you believed in Jesus you'd be able to walk into the reunion. That's why it's about atheism.

"A proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof. And when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven." -- former Canadian Prime Minister Jean Chretien


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Ugh. I'm angered.

Ugh. I'm angered.


shelley
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stillmatic wrote: Clearly

stillmatic wrote:

Clearly if you believed in Jesus you'd be able to walk into the reunion. That's why it's about atheism.

There's also the line about how they could 'understand'... I must just be mad at God because of what he let happen to me.  

Now why was I an atheist before all this?  I guess Satan did it...


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shelleymtjoy wrote: I did

shelleymtjoy wrote:

I did tell them early on that I could understand if they had the reunion in an unaccessible location if they looked around and found all the accessible ones were booked, or if they chose a location that was sentimental to our class - like behind the 7-11 Eye-wink - but of course, that was not the case.

I honestly feel that they fucked up and instead of taking or shifting the blame they decided to try and make me feel guilty about not believing in go. Well fuck that - I don't - and if they weren't snooping around my myspace/facebook profile to find my friends to write to they never would have known anyway.

I am really pissed. A ton of people in my class have written to me - lately people seem to want to see me on the side that weekend. Well my fiance and I planned a trip that weekend so I wouldn't be sitting at home thinking about how everyone gets to have fun... but besides that I have pretty much told people that if they want to help me they should write to the school and tell them how f-ed up this is.

I have a line I use often in these situations... "Sometimes I really wish there was a God because no God would put up with this shit."

For them to look you up on MySpace and Facebook is bull shit - unless they were doing that with everyone, and then they shouldn't mind explaining why they have this kind of policy and why they use it to discriminate. If they don't do that with everyone, they should explain why. It's inexcusable to have looked you up for the purpose of contacting your personal contacts to ask questions about your disability, or anything else about you - unless their policy is to do that with everyone, and we know it isn't. The details of your disability are in no way their business if you didn't choose to share that with them. Well, obviously I don't have to tell you that - I'm just pissed.

I just think that, unless what was done with you was done with everyone (checking MySpace/Facebook, asking questions of personal contacts, sending out the email, etc.), this school has a lot of 'splainin' to do (not to make light of the situation).

Also, I think asking your friends and supporters to write to the school is a great idea, and I really hope they will. I hope the school gets flooded with letters, phone calls and emails.

I like your line about 'god' not putting up with this kind of shit if there really were one. How true.

 

Keep your theology off my biology.


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Lawsuit

Have you considered a lawsuit, or at least the threat of one?


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Zombie wrote: Have you

Zombie wrote:
Have you considered a lawsuit, or at least the threat of one?

When I received the E-mail that said this was all about my atheism I told them "I just want you to be aware that I confirmed this e-mail could be tracked back to the school and I hope this situation doesn't esculate to the point where I will need to use it."

The past two days I haven't heard zip.  I'm happy - well, as happy as I can be, considering. 


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Born_Atheist wrote: For

Born_Atheist wrote:

For them to look you up on MySpace and Facebook is bull shit - unless they were doing that with everyone, and then they shouldn't mind explaining why they have this kind of policy and why they use it to discriminate. If they don't do that with everyone, they should explain why. It's inexcusable to have looked you up for the purpose of contacting your personal contacts to ask questions about your disability, or anything else about you - unless their policy is to do that with everyone, and we know it isn't. The details of your disability are in no way their business if you didn't choose to share that with them. Well, obviously I don't have to tell you that - I'm just pissed.

I just think that, unless what was done with you was done with everyone (checking MySpace/Facebook, asking questions of personal contacts, sending out the email, etc.), this school has a lot of 'splainin' to do (not to make light of the situation).

They did initially contact me through facebook... which I really didn't get since they had my correct address, e-mail, and phone number on file.  Did they do that with everyone?  I have no idea but with a class of around 100 I think it would be very counterproductive to do so, therefore I doubt it. 


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Quote: I'm sorry atheism

Quote:
I'm sorry atheism has changed you.

 

Translation: I'm sorry you no longer meekly allow inconsiderate people to walk all over you.


I AM GOD AS YOU
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   Bumping Shelly, just

   Bumping Shelley,

just cause I can and like her ....

(and where's that Nero, I miss him ? )

Come on , send Shelley your love , pour it on ,

might just say "love ya Shelley" , let her know you evil atheists ! ..... Laughing

Yeah, I love Shelley ,       


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I'm speechless ! They did

I'm speechless !

They did what ???

- What's Shelley's problem?

- You are her problem right now you deplorable, inconsiderate, thoughtless, despicable, loathsome, pathetic piece of fucking shit !!!

I'll stop writing since I won't be able to add anything constructive to this discussion, I'm to angry right now. It's incredible !

Forget about them and keep smiling Shelley Smiling

You're pretty when you smile

Si Dieu existe, c'est Son problème !
If God exists, it's His problem !--Graffiti on the walls of the Sorbonne (France), May 1968
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shelleymtjoy wrote: Thanks

shelleymtjoy wrote:

Thanks for your support Nero. I'm 28 and have been in a wheelchair since I was 24 so I sympathize with having medical difficulties at the prime of your life, so to speak.

I did think this whole thing was rather childish and the behavior I would have expected when I was *in* high school but it's been 10 years and while there is a volunteer organizer from our class, the alumni department is made up of two adults that from their pictures on the website must be in their 40s.

It really gets me that when I first said something they said, oh you can go to the mass. It really made me feel like they were just assuming a girl in a wheelchair didn't need to go to the dinner/bar main event. After I told them I was not Catholic anymore they still said it three more times.

I decided I just didn't want to go when they made it so "public" because I don't want to reunite with people just for my wheelchair to be the topic of conversation.

I guess my experience at the boarding school's reunion spoiled me. They didn't make me feel excluded at all. When moving the dinner from one campus building from another they didn't tell the world why - they just updated a poster. I felt respected.

I would think this Catholic school (despite having one year's notice) would just act a little more christian-y. I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I still feel hurt.

I started a thread on a class of '97 forum about what they did and how I thought other people should write in (I included the contact info for the administrators at the school)- that it may be me now but what's going to happen when it's been 20 or 30 years and everyone is using a cane - or sadly, alumni come back from War injured, etc. One person has voiced her support. I hope more do. I really believe that having people make statements to the school is the only thing that will make them change but of course now my whole school has heard that I'm a disabled atheist and today alone I've received three "I'll pray for you" e-mails.

 

Screw them, HS reunions are a waste of money and a Joke. They arn't done for all the graduates, they are done by the Cheerleaders and Jocks, the "face people".

I went to mine and got snubbed by the same people who pretended to be my friend in highschool, yea, I was a pitty project for the preppies.

It is a dog and poney show and a waste of time, regardless of religion or dissability. But if that is comming into play here, in your spacific case, you might want to consider a lawsuit on principle alone. 

 

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