About a year and a half ago, I created my own religion. My god is my co-pilot, waffle iron, and RRS avatar. I created Kung Fu Jesus just to satirize religious stories and ideas.

I made up tiny sermons with a friend of mine. We'll call him "Blade" because that's what I call him. He's a Catholic, but pretty much only as a label. Anyway... we came up with several different stories. I will post some of them here later.

WARNING! These are not safe for work and shouldn't be left around children... at least the literate ones, anyway. They contain strong, offensive motherfucking language, you cock-twat.

I'm going to post the first one we did. This one contains pictures. It's the basic story of the religion. Enjoy!

Preacher Snerd: As with each religion, there is a good and bad.
Brother Blade: Yep
Preacher Snerd: Kung Fu Jesus is good  and he created the magical negro , also good. But! There is Tae Kwon Do Kenny Rogers  and the anti-magical negro . They are bad! fall not into their ways my children!
Brother Blade: Yeah I say we suicide bomb them
Preacher Snerd: TKDKR will tell you that you know when to hold and fold but he is wrong! KFJ is the way! Kung Fu Jesus didn't fight off ninjas for the fun of it... he did it 'cause he don't take shit off nobody! He took a nap for three days! Then he checked the mail! What did Kung Fu Jesus find? That's right! Coupons for McDonalds! And lo, how he feasted upon the McNuggets!
Brother Blade: And damn was that secret sauce good
Preacher Snerd: You goddamn right it was! 'cause that's how KFJ rolls! Can I get a hi-ya?!?
Brother Blade: hi-ya!
Preacher Snerd: Dear Heavenly Martial Artist, deliver us from your chicken-roasting doppleganger and teach us your ways: Not to take shit from nobody...
Brother Blade: And deliver us some Pizza.
Preacher Snerd: ...And look out for number one. And the pizza.Yes.
Brother Blade: And don't forget the breadsticks.
Preacher Snerd: And please help us not give in to forgetting them breadsticks. And please, let Mama's Family come out on DVD. That was a good show. In your board-breaking, ass-kicking name, Hi-ya! Go in peace, my children.

More to come. The next sermon is about fundraising. I don't even know if I can post that one, but I'll see what I can do.