Any comments on my enlightening and persuasive essay? (feel free to tear apart)

SaffireXT
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Any comments on my enlightening and persuasive essay? (feel free to tear apart)

A Closer Analysis:
Opening the Mind to the Power of Humanity

A look at the main eleven functions of religion serves to give the reader a more objective stance on the topic. Religious systems exist to fulfill naturally occurring human needs, desires, and curiosity, they are defined as follows. The first is scientific; religion serves to explain natural phenomena in terms of supernatural causes. Second is the moral function which serves to provide a code of conduct for appropriate behavior through revelations. Third is political, religion is commonly utilized by political leaders to certify and legitimize their power, an example of which is the divine right of kings often used in the course of Christianity. Fourth is militaristic, political aims often utilize religion to further military interests; the ever popular god is on our side propaganda. Fifth is ethnic, a group will identify with a religion to improve group unity. Sixth is Economic, religion may be used to sanction wealth by correlating riches with god's blessing. Seventh is Unificatory, Religion serves to assist an individual's need to belong to something greater. Eighth is Psychological, an individual will associate god with parental qualities to satisfy the emotional need to feel unconditionally loved and protected by something greater than themselves. Ninth is emotional, wish fulfillment, once an individual realizes that the world will not satisfy his..her wishes, they will lean towards god to complete them. Next is existential, religion gives a very clear purpose and meaning to life, this alleviates the emotional dread of existence without meaning. The final function of religion is transcendence, humans have a spiritual need to feel connected to something greater than themselves and being personal with a god restores and revitalizes them.
It is now important to understand the origins of religion if one is to accurately and objectively appreciate it. Religion itself dates back 60-70 thousand years to the discovery of Neanderthal burial sites where supplies were arranged presumably for use in an afterlife. In the vast years since, religion has gone through many gradual and substantial changes. Starting with Dynamism, which involved magic, mana, rituals, and shamans, religion has made leaps and bounds in complexity and doctrine. Dynamism holds the earliest accounts of mysticism which involved sympathetic magic. This evolved into Animism which was the belief of a spiritual afterlife arising from the fear of death. In Animism, ancestor worship comes about while spirits and supernatural forces also appear for the first time. The next stage in religion is Theriomorphism. This is an important point in the religious evolutionary lineage because at this point gods first come about. They often take the forms of animals which gave rise to the belief that a divine animal created humans and gave them thought known as totemism. From here religion took two quick steps, Anthropomorphism characterized by gods in human forms which quickly leads to Polytheism or a system of many gods. In Polytheistic societies, the poor classes create more and more gods while the upper class creates fewer and fewer gods. On the final and most current step, religion makes a stop at Monotheism. Monotheism is the belief and worship of one and only one god. In Monotheism the god is often viewed as omniscient, immortal, omnipotent, and omnibenevolent. The previous events were co-occurring with a different lineage of events in the eastern world. In the east a more philosophical based religious belief system came about.
Major current world religions include Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Zen. They will not be discussed in length here due to the complex nature of all religions; however their empirically evident functions and outcomes are important to take a look at. Paganism, the worship of many gods, has completely died out on the world scale with the exception of the isolated Hindi in India. Filling the void is Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, all of which are monotheistic and worship the same god. Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism, and Zen all focus on personal enlightenment and, with the exception of Hinduism, reject gods of any kind. This focus on the self and rejection of gods and holy scriptures leads to far less religious political tension in eastern nations. The three monotheistic religions with their god, holy scripture, sacred events, and prophets hold to more fanatic beliefs which have led to large atrocities between the faiths over the centuries. The monotheistic religions with their hope for salvation hold tenaciously to their beliefs and are far more willing to die for their cause, leading to fanaticism and zealotry. These tensions have led to countless wars and immense loss of life. As preposterous as this sounds the truth is increasingly evident the more one considers the dilemma. Hope does in fact weaken people's ability to participate in society. This makes it less likely that they will respect social customs and laws or the customs and laws of others. The eastern religions with their more philosophical basis on the human spirit and moral judgment give the individual less hope for an afterlife and salvation. This makes them exempt from the criticism associated with the audacity of hope.
All believers learn that god holds them responsible for their actions. But for many, belief absolves them of their responsibilities. Whether they know it or not those who are chosen or born again have a sense of diminished respect for others who do not share their faith. They develop a superiority complex and a need to convert and force upon others their system of beliefs. Convinced that only their path holds the truth they lose intellectual curiosity and their inquisition for knowledge, instead they find themselves at the end of their spiritual search at the word of another who claims to have the answer they seek. Naturally they accept an answer that is given to them rather than searching deeper inside their own being for the true answer that requires more intellectual work. Their priority then becomes themselves rather than the world around them. This gives rise to anti-social behavior that lead to a weaker society and a diminished well being rather than enriching the lives of themselves and others. An example of this behavior is characterized by American gun laws which display fellow citizens not as humans but as criminals lurking behind every corner that need to be killed in order to preserve one's self.
Next, look at the more specific negative influences religion has on society. Society is based largely on responsibility which is a term that believers often struggle with. As for sex, believers are ignorant rather than responsible. They feel that responsibility consists of them shielding their children from conditions that may lead to sexual behavior, which leads to further ignorance. In societies less associated with religion they recognize that children have the right to make their own decisions and they teach contraception and how to prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases rather than attempting to frighten their youth away from sexual behavior with horrible tales of std's. The outcome of the latter is easily predictable if contemplated objectively, naturally when one is told what they can and cannot do they will rebel which leads to reckless sexual actions rather than controlled responsible situations. Abstinence programs are forced to rest on the same feeble authority as creationism and intelligent design. Belief discourages unprejudiced analysis. Their reasoning process no longer questions assumptions but instead searches for rationalization to support their beliefs. This results in a self-contained system without regard for how illogical their system looks to external observers.
The point is not to advocate atheism; willpower can overcome the standard laws of science. Faith is the source of all miracles, but unknown to the masses, faith is not solely confined to religion. Faith can exist in many forms including faith in humanity itself. People need miracles and if they are unable to control their own faith sometimes a divine image in the form of religion is useful. But there is a definite flaw in the current state of world affairs and religious views. It is important to realize that if one is willing to submit them self to religion, advocate it to others, and base moral judgments upon it; it is not to be taken lightly or to be followed with blind diligence. Take the time to understand the consequences of choices. Just because a deity may forgive actions does not make one exempt from the moral obligation to respect others.
The problem is ignorance. Many followers of a faith listen too deeply to the half about being chosen and forgiven. This gives rise to a superiority complex over others which leads to intolerance and cultural clashes often resulting in war. The problem lies in the fact that they do not listen enough to the half about moral responsibility and pureness of character. They take the salvation part very well without listening to the work required to ascertain it, a common human error. In the real world there are many religions that practice and everyone must exhibit tolerance or be obliterated by their own prejudice.
The lesson here is simple and designed to enlighten people to a better way of living and build a foundation for world tolerance. Listen to religion and practice moral judgment! If someone expects to be saved because they "tried" to be a good person, it is unlikely they will succeed in explaining that to an omnipotent deity. Actions have consequences and one cannot use a deity to navigate around this truth no matter how attractive that plan may seem. What goes around does come around. One must remember that there are responsibilities as a human being on Earth and belief in a deity does not absolve them of these responsibilities.
Secular Humanism is a philosophy that is capable of taking mankind to a new state of being. A Secular Humanist's focus is on the betterment, advancement, and nurture of the human condition on this planet. They view religion as outdated and harmful to the planet but do not have a quarrel with believers because of their belief in freedom of choice within moral parameters. Secular Humanists do not attack religion because it is in fact harmful to do so. Instead they create positive energy through intellectual advancement. No afterlife or hope for salvation awaits a secular humanist. When a Secular Humanist dies however, they die by their own right and are capable of finding peace because they give their life purpose and do not wait for a god to do so for them. Secular Humanists believe in doing everything they can to make the world a better place for everyone in it. A man who does less than he can for any reason is a thief, make no mistake about it. Through the acts of a Secular Humanist the world becomes a better place. Strikingly, many of the actions that a Secular Humanist advocates are similar to that of deities. This is correct, so people now need to simply follow their religious doctrines more closely! Secular Humanists are not followers of gods but they tend to do holy biddings far better than many of the deities loyal servants care to even attempt.
The criticism of religion is that it leads to ignorance. Simply stated, religion is outdated. How many people have died because a Jew did not answer the phone on the Sabbath, how many jobs have been lost to make a pilgrimage to Mecca, how many lives have been lost because religious beliefs prohibit stem cell research, the list goes on. How long will these outdated traditions to run the lives of free individuals? Is mankind still not capable of making its own decisions? Does humanity still need a mystical being that is indecisive and unclear in his words to lead them? Does that make sense? Why is it that if one poses questions about the existence of UFOs they are crazy but if one preaches the word of an invisible being far off in another universe they are on the path to righteousness and glory? Listen to reason! It is now possible to more accurately measure faith and the world as a whole. Everyone needs to open their eyes and appreciate the people and cultures around them. Peoples' faith in humanity, hopefully, will one day advance the human condition beyond the need for religion and usher in peace at last. Study the evolution of religion carefully, the next logical step is not severely ambiguous, it is the abolition of religion as a whole. Mankind is now capable of explaining phenomena and using reason to guide their actions when dealing with one another, a time for change has come. Religion has reached the end of its usefulness. The human condition no longer needs to be reliant upon the ignorant interpretations of a god's word that has been bent to the will and greed of men. Humanity, through faith in itself, is capable of anything!

Freedom through faith in humanity.


Susan
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It's almost impossible to

It's almost impossible to read with the lack of line breaks and formatting.  Would it be possible for you to edit it and make it a little more reader-friendly?

 

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NarcolepticSun
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Human beings seek out

Human beings seek out religion to pacify their intellectual, social, and physical desires.

I think that, perhaps, instead of advocating the destruction of religion - it would be more constructive to generate a system that removes the gods - and removes the "required" traditions - yet still pacifies those that have grown "addicted" to religion.

 As much as we may not like to admit - relgion and "holy" meeting places provide much of a social outlet to many people. If people are to be encouraged to give up their religion - they will require something to replace it. For this reason - many a believer does cling to their religion if for no other reason than to retain their social outlet.

I am personally working on development of such. I do call it a cult (just for fun). I want to design a social system that will call members to take part in "rituals" that generate serotonin, dopamine, and epinephrine. I am trying to figure out interactions between people that are not necessarily too physical that will generate sufficient ADT and Oxytocin to keep people socially interested in one another for prolonged periods of time.

The system must require nothing of members. I desire it to be open and free. I simply want it to be something that pacifies the human from their chemical core - out. If their chemical necessities are fulfilled - they will not need other religion to latch onto.

I think a permanant end to religion may be too soon to call for in the evolution of religion. There are maybe one or two steps left - before it is completely removed.

I think identifying what these steps may be - and how to move the population through them is much more important than forcing a hard switch to secularism from fundamentalism. Their minds will need a concrete methodology for "healing".