God at my front door

Redbone
Redbone's picture
Posts: 1
Joined: 2007-02-01
User is offlineOffline
God at my front door

First off, I’m not a believer.  Everyone I tell this to that is says they will pray for me so if I am wrong I hope they all have me covered.  All in all I think the God thing is just a bunch of silliness. 

Here is a little something you can do when someone comes to your house asking if you have been saved, found Jesus, etc…  I’ve done this and you don’t have to worry about them coming back.  If they start talking crazy talk, just look at them and say you are sorry but what’s done is done. 

 

Invite them into the house and give them a piece of paper with the following or similar: 

As an aspiring demon I have live on earth 1746 years taking on the human form 53 times.  To become a demon I must collect 5600 souls as a gift to my lord Satan.

There is only one rule I must follow to be granted a soul. Automatically and unconditionally any human's soul that has not already been assign to eternal damnation and enters my house by invitation will here and throughout eternity become a property of Satan and kingdom in hell.

Please sign below to here acknowledge that you have been notified.  Acknowledging now will be noted and lenience may be granted in the future.  Failure to sign will forfeit any rights to one day become a demon yourself.  Trust me it’s much better than the alternatives.

_________________________________

Church : aka - Poor Man's Psychologist


MrRage
Posts: 896
Joined: 2006-12-22
User is offlineOffline
That's hilarious, but I

That's hilarious, but I don't think I could do that with a strait face. Smiling


Angelic_Atheist
Angelic_Atheist's picture
Posts: 264
Joined: 2006-04-06
User is offlineOffline
I think I could. I cant wait

I think I could.

I cant wait for the next bible thumper!!!

shit i hope they dont call children's services.

We must favor verifiable evidence over private feeling. Otherwise we leave ourselves vulnerable to those who would obscure the truth.
~ Richard Dawkins


FundamentallyFlawed
FundamentallyFlawed's picture
Posts: 146
Joined: 2006-11-02
User is offlineOffline
If you do it, please film

If you do it, please film it. I don't think words would be able to portray the true poetry of the moment.


Angelic_Atheist
Angelic_Atheist's picture
Posts: 264
Joined: 2006-04-06
User is offlineOffline
FundamentallyFlawed

FundamentallyFlawed wrote:
If you do it, please film it. I don't think words would be able to portray the true poetry of the moment.

I wish I could...

We must favor verifiable evidence over private feeling. Otherwise we leave ourselves vulnerable to those who would obscure the truth.
~ Richard Dawkins


Susan
Susan's picture
Posts: 3561
Joined: 2006-02-12
User is offlineOffline
Please oh please let it be

Please oh please let it be the Jehovah's Witnesses!


Krehlic
Krehlic's picture
Posts: 240
Joined: 2006-12-29
User is offlineOffline
Can I sign it?

Can I sign it?