Memories of my young atheism days
Just some memories I recalled thanks to the historical Jesus thread.
There was a time a few years ago when I already was an atheists, but not quite what I am now.
To show what I mean I'll tel you a stroy about an old thread on the IG forums.
It, as you might suspect, was also about the historical Jesus. There was some theist guy that argued for his existence, there were hordes of evil heathens arguing against, and there was me, at the time siding with the theist.
Why did I do that?
Well, like I said I was an atheist, and for quite some time now too, but my problem was that I was basically the only atheist I knew. Isolated and surrouned by theists, I had to come up with a way of dealing with them. I didn't want to look like one of those "know it all" angry atheists, and I did want to offend anyone, so what I came up with was... "showing respect" to their beliefs... you know like saying that there's a lot we don't know yet, that we can't be certain that god does not exist....
Tough curiously, I never took the coward's way out and called myself agnostic. Somehow I had a good understanding of the definitions from day one.
...another thing I liked to say was that it is very possible for Jesus to be a historical person.
There were many counter arguments that people made, but the ones that stuck in my head are those made by Todangst, many of which I use right now.
We argued back and forth, I tried my best at forcing him to concede that Jesus' existance is a possibility, and finally when I said something to the effect of:
"no I don't belive a word the bible says, I just wanted to say that someone had to start the cult, and one of the possibilities is that it was started by a man called Jesus"
Todangst replied with: "Yes, I guess it's possible, but there is no evidence for it".
My first thoughts were "ah.. sweet victory atlast!", I wasn't really concerned with the no evidence part, I knew that was true, I just wanted him to admit the possibility...
But a bit later (few days maybe) the tought crossed my mind: "Did I just spend a few pages worth of arguing for something... no not arguing for something, forcing someone to admit that something is possible even tough there is no reason to belive it in the first place? FUCK!"
I then quickly realised that beliefs desrve no respect just because people belive in them, that they should be criticized, and that have to require evidence for them, that I don't need to justify my non-belief with anything more then pointing out the lack of evidence, and that I shouldn't worry if someone got offended by my non-belief.
Urgh... that last part was the worst one.
The balancing act between staying true to myself and not stepping on someone's toes was mentally exhausting, and coupled with my isolation from like-minded people, I think it could make me crack one day.
So I guess this a little thank you.
One for Todangst for detangling my thoughts, which were a mess back then, and another to all atheists that speak their mind at all times....
I usually don't hang with like-minded people for too long, I get bored around them quite quickly (there's something about me that makes me more drawn to conflict, for some reason), but this little lesson has tought me that I do need them. The first few times I saw atheists on the internet I have literally thought "holy shit! I am not insane after all!"
So once again thanks to y'all, I assure you that your comments, as insignificant as they may seem, make confused non-believers feel much less lonely.
And a great big thanks to the RRS, for doing what their doing, places like this, and their shows will surely help other confused non-believers, or still believing doubters, to gather their thoughts.