Road Side Memorials

latincanuck
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Road Side Memorials

    Not sure where to post this so I will post it here. I always see those road side memorials after someone dies in an accident, some for a month or so, others...well years after it occurred, my question to both sides is, how long is too long, as well are they really necessary? I mean the person is going to be buried or creamated, why not place the flowers on their gravesite instead of city property? Do other people really need to know that someone died at that location? Even if people need to do it for consolation or religious reasons why do it months even years afterwards? If you believe in heaven/hell/purgatory why leave a memorial at their death site, if you don't believe in a afterlife why would anyone do it?


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I'd like to add a question

I'd like to add a question to this:

Why memorialize the place where a loved on died in a violent and painful manner? Why not memorialize they places where they lived and were the happiest?  


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BGH wrote: I'd like to add

BGH wrote:

I'd like to add a question to this:

Why memorialize the place where a loved on died in a violent and painful manner? Why not memorialize they places where they lived and were the happiest?

A lot of cultures look at the bad parts of the persons life instead of the good. It's completely backwards to any sort of logic but they apparently find comfort in it. I know my family spent a lot of time at my grandmothers favorite spot at the lake when she died. 


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CrimsonEdge wrote: I know

CrimsonEdge wrote:

I know my family spent a lot of time at my grandmothers favorite spot at the lake when she died.

This seems like the more logical way to remember a loved one instead of wallowing in the pain, despair and grief in the place they died. 


latincanuck
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    That makes more sense

    That makes more sense to spend at a place they loved (I have it in my will to throw a big party, dj, booze the whole shennanegans, no funeral no memorials) rather than the place they died. But i know many a theist that I swear are masochists when it comes to this.


Yellow_Number_Five
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Then there's this

Then there's this guy:

http://www.porkjerky.com/rip.htm

I honestly cannot decide whether the guy or the memorial is more asinine.

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wavefreak
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I always thought of these

I always thought of these memorials as warnings of unsafe spots in the roads and reminders to be careful. There are some places where the memorials are from separate accidents. And I doubt that such memorials are the only way families remember their lost loved ones.


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wavefreak wrote: I always

wavefreak wrote:
I always thought of these memorials as warnings of unsafe spots in the roads and reminders to be careful.

I understand how some that may be in dangerous areas could be viewed as warnings, but there are MANY on straight and flat stretches of road. I hardly view these as dangerous areas, rather the only thing of any danger is a telephone pole or ditch on the side of the road. Additionally, I think it is up to the highway departement to install warning signage in hazardous areas, if you feel an section on road needs such a warning please contact them. Do not erect a cross with a bunch of flowers, such a ambiguous warning may be misunderstood. 

wavefreak wrote:
There are some places where the memorials are from separate accidents.

I am not aware of this happening very often, if at all, in my area.

wavefreak wrote:
And I doubt that such memorials are the only way families remember their lost loved ones.

I do not disagree, this is probably not the only way the loved one is remembered. The question still remains, why remember them this way at all? Why memorialize the death, where much pain and suffering may have been involved? Remember the life, remember the favorite places, remember the happiest times and not the saddest and most agonizing. 


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I guess I don't feel I have

I guess I don't feel I have a right to tell others how to memorialize their dead. It may seem odd, but who am I to say? My only objection is when the become safety issue in and of themselves.


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I worked a double fatal

I worked a double fatal accident where this elderly couple, who happened to be jewish, rolled over after sliding on black ice. Before we had even cleared the scene, a bystander had erected crosses for both of them. Although he probably didn't know they were jewish, it still struck me as weird.


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Yellow_Number_Five

Yellow_Number_Five wrote:

Then there's this guy:

http://www.porkjerky.com/rip.htm


I honestly cannot decide whether the guy or the memorial is more asinine.

It takes a whole lot to offend me, but I clicked on the link thinking there might be some background story to the picture.  That site is in extremely bad taste and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if these folks were mocking a loved one of mine.

 

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Regardless of how these

Regardless of how these people died, he's crossing a line. The dead won't read this, but their grieving friends and families might.


Yellow_Number_Five
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Susan

Susan wrote:
Yellow_Number_Five wrote:

Then there's this guy:

http://www.porkjerky.com/rip.htm


I honestly cannot decide whether the guy or the memorial is more asinine.

It takes a whole lot to offend me, but I clicked on the link thinking there might be some background story to the picture.  That site is in extremely bad taste and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if these folks were mocking a loved one of mine.

 

Yeah, I'm typically a big fan of dark comedy, but this simply isn't funny. If you want to make wry and sarcastic observations about taboo and potentially offensive subjects and do it in an intelligent manner - I'll typically laugh my ass off and be right there with you.

This on the other hand is intellectually devoid. It is nearly as ridiculous and callous as the Phelps clan protesting soldier's funerals.

It functions neither as social commentary or comedy. It doesn't make me chuckle or think. It doesn't challenge social mores on any level but the most crass and vapid. It strikes me as altogether pointless and heartless in all honesty.

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world. - Richard Dawkins

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Yea, this memorial practice

Yea, this memorial practice is really popular where I'm from too. We had a couple teenagers a couple years ago that went on a joy ride. I can't remember the details, but they were either high or drunk or something like that. The place they recked isn't even dangerous. But never the less theres a memorial cross next to the road, years after it happened. Now I didn't know these kids, nor their families, but I have a problem with those annoying memorial crosses. Especially when it's their fault they died.

 As was mentioned before, they do tend to be on dangerous stretches of road. And they can be good warning signs, becuase let's admit you'll be more likely to listen to a sign that says "someone died here" rather than that yellow square with the wavy legged car (the caution when wet sign). 


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Yellow_Number_Five

Yellow_Number_Five wrote:

heartless

Y#5, I think you've gotten exactly the right word to define this.

 

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Susan

Susan wrote:
Yellow_Number_Five wrote:

heartless

Y#5, I think you've gotten exactly the right word to define this.

 

Can you say road side memorial troll? He goes around being an ass at these memorials.

 


LosingStreak06
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I see them as ways of

I see them as ways of reminding the living that death could come at any time. You feel a bit eery when you drive past a place, knowing that someone died right there. It's sobering, I think, and to that end the memorials serve a purpose.


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QUOTE: You feel a bit eery

QUOTE: You feel a bit eery when you drive past a place, knowing that someone died right there.

That's how I felt before I moved. I'd drive around town and remember "Hey, that's the place that woman got shot." or "That's where those kids crashed." It was a bit of a spoil to my stomping grounds. I don't do death investigation right now, nor do I read any news articles (not indetail) enough to know that here. It's a nice change of pace for a bit.


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LosingStreak06 wrote: I see

LosingStreak06 wrote:
I see them as ways of reminding the living that death could come at any time. You feel a bit eery when you drive past a place, knowing that someone died right there. It's sobering, I think, and to that end the memorials serve a purpose.

 

    I read the news papers, i listen to the news on TV, trust me on this, i do not need a road side memorial to remind me that I can die at any moment, I have already accepted this part. However many road side memorials aren't usually at dangerous places, well let me put it better, most that I have seen aren't at dangerous places, usually at intersections where someone ran a red light, highways (straight lanes not curves) were someone lost control due to falling a sleep, drunk driving, or being an idiot and racing/speeding and waving in and out of traffic (we have had 2 major accidents 1 lead to death in the past 2 days of racers on the highways) some are at intersections, one to which i was a witness of the accident, the person basically was speeding and didn't give themselves enough space to stop)

    It's those types of memorials that I am talking about, and even then, the question still remains, how long is long enough? 


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I think this practice

I think this practice should be discouraged for many reasons.

First, I think it's bitterly egoistic to think anyone cares if you know someone who died. It's as if to say, "My tragedies are more important than yours."

If these things usually are put in dangerous places, which I highly doubt, it only adds distraction, increasing the danger already present. If there was any intent to mark a dangerous spot, you'd want to put the momument somewhere before it. So I don't think there is any concern for anyone else in erecting these things. And as I already stated, I think they are a sign of negative concern.

There is a reason that cemeteries exist. Without them, there would be little monuments strewn virtually everywhere civilization has touched. So one of the original ideas was to have a centralized memorialization location. This is a much better idea.

If someone died in their own kitchen, do these people put up a momument there? Or the same in the backyard or in the car they died in? (assuming they didn't die from shooting out the windshield). I'm sure there are some, but not many. The point is, these people want to bug everyone else with their problems, but if it came to actually defacing their own property, not likely. Again there is excessive self-regard, and a touch of psychic vampirism.


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latincanuck

latincanuck wrote:

LosingStreak06 wrote:
I see them as ways of reminding the living that death could come at any time. You feel a bit eery when you drive past a place, knowing that someone died right there. It's sobering, I think, and to that end the memorials serve a purpose.

 

I read the news papers, i listen to the news on TV, trust me on this, i do not need a road side memorial to remind me that I can die at any moment, I have already accepted this part. However many road side memorials aren't usually at dangerous places, well let me put it better, most that I have seen aren't at dangerous places, usually at intersections where someone ran a red light, highways (straight lanes not curves) were someone lost control due to falling a sleep, drunk driving, or being an idiot and racing/speeding and waving in and out of traffic (we have had 2 major accidents 1 lead to death in the past 2 days of racers on the highways) some are at intersections, one to which i was a witness of the accident, the person basically was speeding and didn't give themselves enough space to stop)

It's those types of memorials that I am talking about, and even then, the question still remains, how long is long enough?

It's really a question about community. How long is long enough is going to be answered by the community at large and, as galling as it may be, there are more believers than atheists. These memorials serve a purpose to enough people that they are tolerated by the community as a whole. 


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LosingStreak06 wrote: I see

LosingStreak06 wrote:
I see them as ways of reminding the living that death could come at any time. You feel a bit eery when you drive past a place, knowing that someone died right there. It's sobering, I think, and to that end the memorials serve a purpose.

I don't need any help remembering I'm going to die. I manage to do this quite well all by myself.


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BGH wrote: Why memorialize

BGH wrote:
Why memorialize the place where a loved on died in a violent and painful manner? Why not memorialize they places where they lived and were the happiest?

dude I am in complete agreement with you here. 

I never understood why people can't move on with their lives to be honest.  Death is just as much a part of life no matter how violent and while yes you morn, you have your life to live and you gotta move on. 

What is faith? Is it to believe that which is evident? No. It is perfectly evident to my mind that there exists a necessary, eternal, supreme, and intelligent being. This is no matter of faith, but of reason. - Voltaire