Why I Believe (Long read)

Froggy618157725
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Why I Believe (Long read)

First off, an introduction. I'm starting college next year at Caltech, and have a decent background in math, science, and the like. I believe myself to be fairly rational, but, of course, I have certain irrational tendencies. I'm currently searching for ideas. I'm Jewish, because I like the teachings, and they mostly agree with my beliefs. As for the stories, I doubt they happened as portrayed, but I find it likely that at least some of them have a basis in reality.

As far as my belief in G_d, that's an interesting story. When I was very young, I was taken to some Christian church (my dad is Jewish, my mom is Christian). My main memory of that was playing under the chairs. After that, I went to Temple, semi-regularly, with Sunday school. At that point, my belief in G_d was something in the back of my mind. It was there, but not very strong. It's not really a concept you're prepared to fully contemplate at that age...

I've had a number of strange experiences throughout my life. They've come in many different varieties, ranging from the mildly interesting to the blatently obvious. I've tried going at it from various angles. I've considered that it might be some sort of mental disorder, but that's insufficient to explain most of it.

Without further ado, I'll share my central story.

 

Sometime over 3 years ago, I had a very interesting dream. I've had several dreams before that where I dreamed of a future item or event, and everytime, it followed the same format. The dream would be very random, with a single clear and detailed item, which later happened. Examples include my sister's bunk bed(she got it ~6 months after the dream), Pichu, along with Pokemon Gold and Silver(at the time, I didn't really care about Pokemon at all), and the GameCube with GameBoyAdvance controller attatchment (The dream was back when the GameBoy Pocket was new). These precursors let me know that there's something strange about loosing your consciousness for several hours, and hallucinating vividly, only to awaken with perhaps no memory of it. Well, stranger Wink

Back to the dream... I'm going off of memory, so some parts may be distorted. I've written it elsewhere, though, so you can look for any inconsistencies. It started off with incredible levels of detail. It was very realistic, to the point that I felt the warmth of the air around me and such. It started off with an event that occurs daily. I was feeding my dog. The view was 1st person, but my memory of it has that sort of dream-3rd person effect. The scene jumped around a bit, with increasingly rare, though perfectly reasonable things happening. At one point I was looking out the patio into the bushes, something moved in them, and my dog ran back. In another, I was feeding my dog, and the sliding glass door was cracked open with the blinds open by about a foot. My mom was talking on the phone in the kitchen. After a few scenes like that, the detail fell a bit. I walked out onto the mini-unenclosed patio next to the enclosed patio where I fed my dog. I saw what looked like headlights approaching, which would be impossible, since there is a hedge behind my house, and a house behind that hedge. I went back onto the patio to feed my dog. Suddenly, I felt a strong presence behind me, and I turned to see a tall man, dressed in dark clothing with black hair and green eyes. The eyes were a shade that looked almost, but not entirely, like a normal shade of green. There was something about it that was hard to place. It looked somewhere between 20 and 30. The only other distinguishable trait was that the man seemed to radiate evil. After that, logic slowly fell apart. Slight inconsistencies popped up, objects disappeared, reappeared, and were in places they shouldn't be. At one point, an ambulance drove through my side yard, which would be impossible on several layers. The dream drifted into total chaos, and I awoke.

 

As you can probably imagine, the dream startled me. I'd never quite had a dream like that before, and it was clearly split into 3 stages by theme and feel. I thought about it for a few days, but I figured nothing would come from it.

Some amount of time later, probably in the realm of months, I had a second dream of the same style. This time, there were fewer realistic segments. I can only really recall one of them, but it was very detailed. I was walking along the sidewalk of my neighborhood. There was heat lightning in the clouds above and the sun was in the final stage of setting. I began to jog, looking for someone. It was warm and comfortable, as it generally is in Florida. I looked back and forth at a few houses as I passed them. The detail level dropped, and I continued jogging to the gate of my neighborhood. I saw a bunch of my friends there at the bus stop, many of which would have no reason to be there. I was confused, and was going over to great them. I turned around and saw the same figure standing on a mulch path on the side of the street I had just come from. Upon seeing him, I remembered the last dream, and that this must be a dream, and I gained lucidity. Using the uber powers of lucidity, I decided to try to fight the figure. I gave myself the DragonBall Z-esque ability to fire energy out of my hands. The figure did a cool sort of sidestep that brought him to a hover above the lake. Then logic began to break down again. He somehow made the beam many times more powerful. The lake stretched out, and I attempted to guide the beam from hitting anything, since at it's current energy level, it would cause a lot of damage to the neighborhood. After a few seconds, I regained my senses and simply turned it into foam. Why foam? Because lucidity pwns, and foam is... foamy. The figure had disappeared, and the dream dell into chaos again. I had a false awakening, which robbed me of my lucidity. Since I thought myself to be awake, I started wondering about the second dream. I got dressed, went through my morning routine, and decided to go jog to the gate, just to check it out. Just to let you know, looking back, it wasn't nearly as detailed as the realistic sections of the dream had been. After I reached the gate and saw nothing out of place, I went to visit a rich person on the opposite side of my neighborhood. (It's two neighborhoods, an east and west side, with seperate gates, and fountains, opposite of a lake. The center has rough rotational symmetry) As far as I know, this person doesn't exist. Inside his home, he had many cars, all different models and colors. I felt an urge to count them, so I started to. The dream faded out, and I awoke with a strong image of 41 with a hint of 40.

 

The thing that bothered me the most about this dream was that it happened twice. I have never had a repeating dream. Of course, the dreams were different, but they had the same format and themes. The only real difference was the epilogue on the second one. After about a month, I started noticing similarities between the realistic sections of the dream, and actual experience. At first, it was a vague deja-vu feeling. As it progressed to the more specific portions over the next month or so, it became more obvious. After the final realistic section from the first dream, nothing happened for a while, which I'm assuming to be a month. My sense of time is pretty poor. Then, the realistic parts from the second dream happened. My sister had some of her friends over. I was bored, so I went to see what they were doing. I couldn't find them, so I asked my mom where they were. She said they had gone on a walk. I decided to go find them. I went outside. The weather was fairly warm, and the sun was just disappearing on the horizon. The sky was cloudy, and there was heat lighting flashing above. I slowly started to jog, occasionally glancing at the passing houses. I then realized that I had just relived the final realistic scene from the set of dreams.

I found my sister and her friends on a coul-de-sac half way through my neighborhood.  I was a little startled, and eventually sorta told one of them a very rough one sentence description of what had just happened. When I got back home, I got a sudden urge to mark the day 40 or 41 days ahead. I found that that lined up with a Friday afternoon/Saturday. July 31st, 2004, to be exact.

I was fairly nervous about that day. I was certain something major was going to happen, and, if it followed the theme of the dream, it was likely going to be something bad. As the day approached, I started finding a few interesting coincidences. It was the end of a month, and a full moon. It was also a blue moon, goingby the two full moons in a month definition. I recalled the story about Joseph and dream interpretation from Genesis, and looked it up. I don't know how I could miss it at the time, but the most relevant part of that story is Genesis 41. I discovered that later, when I posted this story elsewhere. In Genesis 41, Pharaoh describes two dreams that have been troubling him. Joseph tells him that the two dreams are the same theme in different forms. He gives an interpretation, and says that the dream occurred twice because it was already determined by G_d, and would soon happen.

Since I had a direct link, I decided to look up that date on the Hebrew calendar. It was the 13th of Av, which on that year was Shabbat Nachamu. (For anyone who doesn't know, Friday aftenoon to Saturday afternoon is Judaism's day of rest, the Sabbath ) I looked that up, and it's a special Shabbat which corresponds to the Haftarah portion Isaiah 40. It's involved with some prophecies about the "end times" and stuff like that. That's not a particularly pleasant set of things to come across considering the circumstances.

I went from thinking there would be some sort of catastrophe, to thinking it might be the end of the world. As the day drew closer, I started to think it might be something more personal, like perhaps my death, or something that would change my world. The 40th day passed without incident. That worried me more than anything. I'd prefer a gradual change to something that just jumps out at you. That night, near midnight, both of my parents came into my room. I was shocked. My parents have never done that before. I assumed the worst and was expecting to hear about some tragic family accident. What I got was entirely different. They told me to pack and that we were leaving for Georgia the next morning.  We've always planned vacations months in advance, especially week long ones. This was literally last minute. So now I had a very long car ride to look forward to on the 41st day. I came to the realization that this was stage 2: A beginning of breakdown in logic. We've never done something like that before. Ironically, the place we went to was called Callaway Gardens. I recently found a key to our cabin in my room as a bit of memorabilia, as though I'd forget such an event.

A few months after we got back from that trip, which was actually quite enjoyable, I started seeing a 41 daily. It would show up in random places. For instance, I got into a friend's car, and the last 4 digits in the odometer were 0041. For a few months, I kept a log to see if anything was apparent from it. I gave up on that over time, though. For a while, it was one a day. Then it went to several a day, every day. After a while of that, on top of about 3 or 4 a day, I'd start seenig them in doubles. For example, I played a game of BattleField 2, and followed a teammate with the flag to our base to protect him. The entire way the distance between us was 41 meters, and the score brought us to 41 points. After a while, it started having triples and an occasional quadruple. I left for a chorus competition, and had started a long download. I went back to check on it, and it happened to be 5:41PM, 41% complete downloading at 41kbps, estimated completion in 41 hours. When I signed up for the SAT, the next available date was 4/1. It cost 41.50 and the print job for the ticket was 41kb. This sort of stuff continued at a ridiculous pace. Then it stopped.

The definite structure of this convinced me that it wasn't just some paranoid searching for 41's. I'd have a right to do that, after all. The sudden stop helped me ensure myself it wasn't just a form of craziness. During that time, I started looking for other numbers as well, but nothing was close to the number of 41's.

Around the time of my visit to MIT, the daily 41's started again. I specify because at this point, they fell into several specific cases. There was always a 41 involved with major events I participated in. At All-State for chorus, I was assigned position 4-1 in the stands. After a programming competition, we ate at an AppleBees (when we got out of our cars, we heard a loud boom from a car crash that had shut down the road we were just on. I don't consider that too special, because I'm picky.). After getting our check, I noticed our table was designated #41. At District Festival, I got sight-reading packet #41. etc... 41 also became a sort of marker. I've always experienced a strong amount of "karma". Nowadays, if the connection between the action and consequence, it is marked with a few 41's. Such patterns should not occur randomly without an insane amount of luck. Since 90% of it was entirely out of my control without any reasonable way for me to have set it up, I came to accept it as having definite meaning. What can I say? I don't like to rush to conclusions.

Anyways, whenever my doubt grew to a certain point, I'd receive some sign that it was in fact real. I could list those out, but it would take many pages. One such event can only be explained by insanity on my part, a nearly direct interaction with  G_d, or some other 3rd party. I'd go into more detail, but I'm trying to stick to the central line. I wrote a brief description of the encounter 30 minutes afterwards. I was still shaking, and made several typos and was a little disorganized, but that's to be expected when your reality pulls a fast one on you.

 Several months ago, I visited 3 colleges to determine where I would go. Carnegie Mellon, Caltech, and Georgia Tech. During each visit, from the time I left home to when I got back, there was a ridiculous amount of 41's. My dad couldn't help but notice. It was truly ridiculous. A very brief extract from one: I arrived in California at gate 4A of a very small airport whose address included 4100. We drove a mapquest estimated 41 minutes to Caltech. We then went to our hotel, arriving at 1:41PM with the odometer reading 14141. It continued like that for all the visits.

 

Just a few months ago, I got a very startling new clue. In the almost three years since that vacation, I've grown to about 6 feet tall. My hair, like my fathers did, has become darker. My dad's hair went from brown to black. The one thing that made me sure that the figure from my dream wasn't me was the strange green eyes. A few months ago, I looked in the mirror to see a fairly bright green ring on the edge of my iris. My eyes have always been brown. Since then, the green has slowly spread inwards and diluted. Under some conditions, my eyes look more green than brown, providing a sort of odd shade of green. As the dreams progressed, they became increasingly symbolic. Stage 1 was entirely literal. Stage 2 was more of a theme. Stage 3 wasn't very fun. My current favorite interpretation is that stage 3 will begin when my appearance is the same as the figure from my dream. I'd guess that would be somewhere between 3 and 8 years. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what will happen. I only have very strong hints that something will happen, I will somehow be involved, and it will likely be a very significant event. This is frustratingly vague, and almost certainly something will happen that I could claim this predicts. In fact, a sort of mocking of my complaints of how unprovable this whole thing has been has been a common theme in my reminders.

Three weeks ago, I got my first fortune cookie that actually applies. Had one of the lucky numbers been 41, I would've probably just walked out of the restaurant, to the confusion of my parents.

 The fortune

I have had only one repeating dream, and it certainly keeps coming back to me in real life... This was the day after I demanded some clue about what would happen, after pondering over the green eye thing for a while. This all-too convenient timing thing has happened to me countless times.

 

That's brief compared to all that has happened. If I were to include everything, I'd get no sleep tonight, or tomorrow. Feel free to question anything and everything.  I apologize for being new. You have no reason other than my word to believe anything I've said. But I'm looking for the truth. Making up stories would only bring me farther from it. I try my best to maintain as many ideas about it as possible, but teh big G's been working pretty hard on narrowing my options. The recent focus has been on merging my "normal life" with my "abnormal life". As you can imagine, I isolate these experiences as different in my mind to help with my general life. Recently, it's gotten so mixed that I can't help but merge it in.

 

Any alternate ideas, insights, questions, comments, challenges? Keep in mind that although there are several biblical allusions throughout this, I don't automatically believe it all.

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Froggy618157725
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Just so you know, me posting

Just so you know, me posting this at 11:41 (By my timezone) was entirely coincidental. Of course that's the 3rd time that coincidence happened in my last 3 times posting the story. Meh...

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boy, you really like

boy, you really like numbers!

As far as I am aware the answer is in fact 42 not 41....if you look at it in binary

 101010 as opposed to 101001 

i think it becomes clear you are short of your most significant bit.

Seriously though, what you describe seems more of an obsession than something that is on the threshold of truth. I would be very wary in giving your remarkable number observations credence over your venerable ability to see them. 

 

The next time you are following 41 metres behind somebody in a game.....stop and see if they do too.

I often say that when you can measure what you are speaking about, and express it in numbers, you know something about it; but when you cannot measure it, when you cannot express it in numbers, your knowledge is of a meagre and unsatisfactory kind.


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Cernunnos wrote: boy, you

Cernunnos wrote:

boy, you really like numbers!

As far as I am aware the answer is in fact 42 not 41....if you look at it in binary

101010 as opposed to 101001

i think it becomes clear you are short of your most significant bit.

Yeah, but the focus here is more on the question Eye-wink

HHGTTG ftw

Quote:

Seriously though, what you describe seems more of an obsession than something that is on the threshold of truth. I would be very wary in giving your remarkable number observations credence over your venerable ability to see them.

 

The next time you are following 41 metres behind somebody in a game.....stop and see if they do too.

41's alone could never amount to sufficient evidence to me. The reason I pay attention to it at all is the definite structure that seems to be there. The majority of the the 41's are entirely out of my control. For instance, one day in my Diff EQ class, my teacher, for the first time, had me read one of the boxed theorems, and then had me repeat the page number several times, which followed the format of X41.

Capping the flag was more important at the time Eye-wink Though in my defense, the path was not straight.

Generally, I'm very observant about this sort of thing. I'll share another event that took place 2 or 3 years before, in either 6th or 7th grade.

In my English class we had a sub who, for whatever reason, disliked me, yet seemed to love one of my friends who was quite similar to me. The pencil I was using had a yellow eraser cap thing on it that had been slowly developing a tear. It got significantly worse after I had lent it to a friend. The tear was almost through the entire base of the cap, so it wasn't very stable. It still worked well, though, so I kept it on. While I was writing, the eraser fell off and rolled just out of my reach, so I stood up to get it. The sub made a big deal of it, which upset me. I wished that the eraser hadn't teared, which provided her with an excuse to yell at me, addressed to reality in general. I put the eraser in my pocket to avoid further trouble, since if I got up to pick it up again, she'd probably give me a detention. I rode the bus home, and when we were approaching my bus stop, I took out the eraser to look at it while I continued thinking of the injustice of the sub's response. The eraser had no rip. I knew the eraser I placed in my pocket was torn, and had been for over a week. I checked all of my pockets to look for the torn eraser, and the bus floor. I checked my backpack, found no torn eraser, and then examined the untorn eraser. It was worn in the same way the torn eraser had been, complete with graphite marks. The inside was worn, showing that it had been in use. The only yellow eraser cap I had been using was the one that had torn, though I did have other yellow ones, and I'm sure other people had some. I then wondered if it had somehow melted and fused back together. There was no sign of melting, though, plus it was probably a few hundred degrees too cold for that. I'm sure my exclamation of surprise caught a bit of attention, but we were at my stop, so I left.

Later on, I asked some friends about the event in the class room to confirm my eraser fell, I got up to retrieve it, it was ripped, and I put it in my pocket.

That left me with no obvious answeres, with only the coincident of my complaints getting responded to. I still don't know what exactly happened there, but I think I did all I reasonably could to try to find out.

I admit to having a bit of an obsession about this, but the cause and effect demand it. I want to know why this sort of stuff happens commonly to me, while so many other people don't have a single thing like this. I've looked for similar cases, but I haven't found any. I've also looked through a few disorders, and have yet to find something that can explain it away. Of course I haven't and can't do an exaustive search.

If I had a similar case to compare to, I'd be able to look for patterns between them and such. Having only my experience to rely on when it's my experience that I'm questioning is frustrating.

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The human mind is almost

The human mind is almost too good at finding patterns: sometimes we see them even when they're not there. On the low end of the scale, you get numerology. After that, you get people hearing messages from Satan in backwards music and seeing Jesus in a grilled cheese. It's called apophenia. We also suffer from observer bias: once we have reached a conclusion about something, it can be almost impossible to see data that contradicts your personal conclusion.

Putting those two things together means that once we've seen a pattern in the noise, it can be difficult to stop seeing that pattern.

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Further to what shikko

Further to what shikko said, you only see when there is a pattern, and you rarely notice when it's not there, mainly because you actually have no reason to expect it.

Case in point, the fortune cookie is actually evidence against, as you would expect it to have 41, but it did not. 


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shikko wrote: The human

shikko wrote:

The human mind is almost too good at finding patterns: sometimes we see them even when they're not there. On the low end of the scale, you get numerology. After that, you get people hearing messages from Satan in backwards music and seeing Jesus in a grilled cheese. It's called apophenia. We also suffer from observer bias: once we have reached a conclusion about something, it can be almost impossible to see data that contradicts your personal conclusion.

Putting those two things together means that once we've seen a pattern in the noise, it can be difficult to stop seeing that pattern.

I agree with that entirely, but that doesn't offer sufficient explanation for this. I've tried to set up ways to make predictions off of this, but because of how subjective it has been, it's not easy to go about testing it. For instance, prayer. My prayers are generally answered, with the exception of basic philosophical questions and a general set of intuitive and experience based rules. I don't get the traditional "Yes, No, wait" thing I've heard people talk about. I get a relatively immediate yes, or a no with some sort of ironic marker. My results seem to point to a personal G_d with an appreciation of irony.

I also have messed around with a prediction technique based off of a combination of Murphy's law, karma, irony, and doublethink. It's the sort of thing where if it is correct, it proves itself false. It's a very finicky model, and I've only tried making about 5 predictions on it, but each one worked. I regard that as interesting, but nothing close to proof.

Here's an example of me using it. In the mornings, I'm generally half asleep. I pack lunches for school. After going to get a spoon, I saw that I had already done that. Out of laziness, I didn't feel like putting it back. I recognized the partially chaotic state of my mind due to tiredness, and figured that the extra spoon would have a good use. In my AP US History class before lunch, we had a new student who had come from the recently flooded New Orleans to continue schooling. As you can imagine, it was very stressful on her. In addition, she had to catch up on a ridiculous amount of AP US History work. Our teacher was a big fan of very large amounts of menial work. To top it off, she had forgotten to pack a spoon to eat her lunch with.

The other 4ish cases were much more trivial.

 I might as well throw in a random 41. My car, which is about 10 years old and used to be my dad's car, has a serial number on the major parts that starts with "4T1". I found that funny. A phonetic spelling for a change of pace...

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Fish wrote: Further to

Fish wrote:

Further to what shikko said, you only see when there is a pattern, and you rarely notice when it's not there, mainly because you actually have no reason to expect it.

Case in point, the fortune cookie is actually evidence against, as you would expect it to have 41, but it did not.

The problem with that view is that noticing when it is not there is the main reason I pay any attention to the 41's at all. It has followed a definite structure. One of my semi-recent events, about 6 months or so ago (I could look up the date, but I'm not on my computer now) was based upon a specific lack of the common pattern.

I had reached a point where the lack of answers was really getting to me. I was in a period of daily 41's at the time. I needed a break. So, in my standard very informal style of prayer, I asked the big G to give me a break from it, in several more words. The next day there were no 41's. The day after that there were no 41's. The next day there were no 41's. After a few months of daily 41's, that really sticks out. I began to look for 41's, but I saw none, not in the time (unless I specifically tried to) not on license plates (Generally a car with a 41 on it's plate pulls in front of me at some point) or elsewhere. After about 3 days of that, the lack of 41's had pointed out the situation far more than the constant stream had. In addition to the lack of 41's, I felt something else was missing, but it was too vague for me to really place. The next night, I asked for it back, aying that I was ready for it again. I came to the realization that I cannot willingly not seek out the meaning here. The evidence that something was there was two diverse, common,  and self consistent for me to deny. Every once in a while, I come across another 41 that leads me directly back to the date derived from the dream. (alliteration.... yay) . The next day, there were about 10 41's of significance, along with a great deal of good luck, such as English class getting canceled after I realized I had forgotten an essay, and stumbling into a room after school where there was a teacher who had needed to see me to ask me about a trip that I wouldn't've been able to go on if I hadn't gone into that room. The day continued like that, but for the sake of not going on for another few paragraphs, I'll leave it at that.

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Froggy618157725 wrote: I

Froggy618157725 wrote:

I might as well throw in a random 41. My car, which is about 10 years old and used to be my dad's car, has a serial number on the major parts that starts with "4T1". I found that funny. A phonetic spelling for a change of pace...

Toyota Camry?

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shikko

shikko wrote:
Froggy618157725 wrote:

I might as well throw in a random 41. My car, which is about 10 years old and used to be my dad's car, has a serial number on the major parts that starts with "4T1". I found that funny. A phonetic spelling for a change of pace...

Toyota Camry?

Yeah Smiling

Is that the standard begining for Camry serials or something? Or are there just not many car types that work well after 10 years? Perhaps it's the most common old car?

My knowlege of cars is very limited... 

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Froggy618157725

Froggy618157725 wrote:
shikko wrote:

Toyota Camry?

Yeah Smiling

Is that the standard begining for Camry serials or something? Or are there just not many car types that work well after 10 years? Perhaps it's the most common old car?

My knowlege of cars is very limited...

No, it's me being MAGIC!!! Give me money, or I will cause bad things to happen somewhere some indeterminate time into the future!!! And pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...

That's one of the VIN prefixes Toyota uses (although the bit about the longevity of Toyotas is good, too; I loved my old Tercel!). Google "vin 4t1" for more info.

So: instead of the odds of a car's VIN starting 4T1 being 1 in 35937, they're more like 1 in 300-something (a guess to how many VIN groupings there are), since not all combinations are used.

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The problem with numerology

The problem with numerology is the patterns that you don't see, not the ones that you do.


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shikko

shikko wrote:
Froggy618157725 wrote:
shikko wrote:

Toyota Camry?

Yeah Smiling

Is that the standard begining for Camry serials or something? Or are there just not many car types that work well after 10 years? Perhaps it's the most common old car?

My knowlege of cars is very limited...

No, it's me being MAGIC!!! Give me money, or I will cause bad things to happen somewhere some indeterminate time into the future!!! And pay no attention to that man behind the curtain...

That's one of the VIN prefixes Toyota uses (although the bit about the longevity of Toyotas is good, too; I loved my old Tercel!). Google "vin 4t1" for more info.

So: instead of the odds of a car's VIN starting 4T1 being 1 in 35937, they're more like 1 in 300-something (a guess to how many VIN groupings there are), since not all combinations are used.

eek!!! Cash or Check? I've underestimated the limitless power of Google. Google Earth isn't a product... It's a strategy... Eye-wink 

Ah... so 1 in 300ish. That's a few factors better. There's the odds of my dad having gotten a Camry, it not getting into an accident, and a few other factors to include if we want to get the full probability. I still think the irony supersedes the probability, though.

The Patrician wrote:
The problem with numerology is the patterns that you don't see, not the ones that you do.

Yeah. I've tried blocking for that as much as I can. The main curiosity here is the definite structure. I'm still trying to understand it, and probably will be for a while.

If I try looking at it from a broad level, assuming some form of sentience behind it, I can infer a lot of things. Yes, it's based on pattern recognition. But practically everything is. It's like the many strange events during my young childhood opened me to the concepts that stuff like that was possible. Stuff included in that was dreams of the future, anomalies in perception (also perceived by others) and several other things. That continued up until the 41 dream pair, which pulled together many types of weirdness I was somewhat familiar with. After the blatant future related section, and the more subtle one, the 41 sighting started up, increasing as I came to accept it as normal. It then went away for a while, though I still got my reminder of a strange experience from time to time. It then took up a marker of significant events in my life. At first I thought it was some sort of indicator of what I should do, but it was there for any choice I made, most dramatically illustrated by my various college endevours. Since then, the focus has been on experiences that parallel old experiences I had forgotten, and forcing me to accept it as part of my daily life. I'm a point where I've either fabricated a good deal of my memory, or there's something to it.

Remaining objective about your existence is hard to do Eye-wink

 

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my conclusion: You are

my conclusion: You are either crazy or grasping at  straws.

 Ever see the movie "pi"?

 

That pretty much sums it up. 


Froggy618157725
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theotherguy wrote:

theotherguy wrote:

my conclusion: You are either crazy or grasping at straws.

Ever see the movie "pi"?

 

That pretty much sums it up.

Out of those, crazy is far more likely. Of course, I wouldn't be satisfied till I could track it to the root. Craziness does not explain a good deal of it.

When I was younger, I had a vague sense of where people around me were. I didn't think anything of it at the time. It was stronger for people I knew. For instance, with my best friend, I would often know I was about to see him about 5 or so seconds beforehand, and know where he would be. I'm sure you've heard stories of people who have a strong connection knowing when something happens to the other person. Several times I've used that to find people that I knew in places were I thought they weren't.

One day that simply stopped. It took me a while to get used to the feeling. It's much rarer now, and I only had one case in the past two years. I had been meditating earlier. My mom announced that we would be eating at one of two restaurants. I had a sudden strong idea that we would go to one of them, and I would see someone I knew there. That wasn't too impressive, considering we often eat there, and most of the time one of us spots someone we know there. My main concern was that the thought came out of nowhere, and reminded me of my old sense of where some people I knew were. We ended up going to that restaurant. When we were waiting for a table, I was hit with a very strong sense of a location where the person I knew was. I told my mom that I was going to go walk around. I walked by the table that the location corresponded to, but I saw no one I knew there. Confused, I went to the miniarcade. Some little kid pushed past me to go back to his table. I turned around to see that the kid went to the spot where the feeling directed, and I recognized him. He was the son of a family friend's daughter. He was with a part of his family that I didn't know. I don't know him particularly well, but I've been around him a lot, generally on holidays.

While I'm on that subject, I might as well cover another thing that falls under the category of "Things I know that I shouldn't be able to". When I'm drowsy and half asleep, my sense of time can be very distorted. I'll think a second has passed, when it's really an hour, and visa versa. I think that's normal. Several times, though, when I've been in that state, I've had a vivid vision of something, which happened a few seconds later. One time laying in bed, half asleep, I was complaining about a loud beeping noise, and why it had to happen. Then the loud beeping noise happened. That confused me, though in that state, I couldn't be sure it wasn't some memory anomaly. I've had others occur that were more decisive. For instance, on the bus a few years back, I was drifting into a sort of day dream. I saw a cell phone, folding, with flat buttons, and a text on the screen that was large, and a pretty shade of blue. It was very detailed, although all I could see was the phone. I snapped out of it when someones cell phone rang two rows behind me. After she was done, I asked her if I could see her phone. She let me, and I saw that it looked just like the phone in my 'vision'. I wasn't aware that phones had fonts like that, though of course I've seen flip phones before. I had not seen the phone before, and my eyes had hardly even been opened when I got on the bus. It followed in the same style as the few dreams I've had that predicted a future event. My mind was in a fairly chaotic state, and the cell phone was very vivid.

If I'm crazy, then it is a very curious ailment.

 

edit: I'm going to add another one of my daily 41's to this post because it's appropriate. I recently read "The Shining". I can certainly relate to some of the things presented. In the copy I had, which I borrowed from my sister, the first blatently strange thing happened to start right at the top of a page. I looked at the page number, and it was page 41. I've had a similar situation with Heroes. I enjoy that TV series. On the commercial break before the finale, there was a commercial for some Pirates of the Carribean 3 contest, which you could enter by texting something too 14141 or something similar. I'm slightly hesitant to share those, because of the similarities between some of the things I've shared and these works of fiction, but my events occurred long before I read/watched either one.

 edit#2

I'll have to watch that movie some time. I was going to see 23 before I guessed at the plot, looked it up on wikipedia, and found that it was just as I guessed it would be. Unpredictable? pshh....

On that topic, I guess I'll share a few numerology-type things from Judaism. I asked one of my teachers from a Jewish education program I used to attend on saturdays to look up the number for me. He came back with a lot of stuff about mothers, and that 41 squared is the numerical value of the 22 letter Name of G_d. I found that interesting. I had already come to think of it like a signature of G_d.

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The Patrician
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Froggy618157725

Froggy618157725 wrote:
Yeah. I've tried blocking for that as much as I can. The main curiosity here is the definite structure. I'm still trying to understand it, and probably will be for a while.

 

Welcome to focused monomania.  Population:You. 

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Froggy618157725
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The Patrician

The Patrician wrote:

Froggy618157725 wrote:
Yeah. I've tried blocking for that as much as I can. The main curiosity here is the definite structure. I'm still trying to understand it, and probably will be for a while.

 

Welcome to focused monomania. Population:You.

Even if that's the case, it would certainly be justified. I've experienced many things that directly challenged my preconceived notions of how the universe works. It's only natural that I want to try to figure it out. Disregarding apparent ties to G_d, I'm still left with some sort of precognition, along with a medley of other things.

My focused posts here aren't representative of my thoughts all the time. I think about plenty of other things. Additionally, my thoughts and interpretations have changed significantly over time.

 And now, another example of the type of stuff I deal with regularly. I was posting on another forum about this (the more ideas I'm exposed to, the better) in response to someone who said "I'm not one to be superstitious.". I was replying "I'm not one to be superstitious either", but before I was able to type the period, Firefox hit some random error and crashed. I restarted Firefox, which recovered the previous session, along with the text I was typing. I had typed a lot more than that one line, so I was grateful for that. Certainly something like that doesn't carry much weight, but it happens ridiculously often to me.

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The Patrician

The Patrician wrote:

Froggy618157725 wrote:
Yeah. I've tried blocking for that as much as I can. The main curiosity here is the definite structure. I'm still trying to understand it, and probably will be for a while.

 

Welcome to focused monomania. Population:You.

LOL. The Patrician wins the thread!!!!!!! Laughing

 

EDUCATION! EDUCATION! EDUCATION!