And You Don't Think This is a Myth?
I wrote this for a separate topic, but it's so wonderfully concise, I have to repost it for further comment.
This, guys and gals, is what Christians believe. This is the story of the bible in an extremely condensed version.
All I want to know is, why wouldn't I believe this is a myth?
Without further ado, the Hambydammit Condensed Version (HCV) of the bible:
Once upon a time, an invisible being named God, who can do anything he wants, and who knows absolutely everything there is to know, including everything that will ever happen anywhere in the universe, decided to make the universe.
God made the entire universe in six days. He made one special planet, called earth, and on it, he made a magical garden. Into the magical garden, he put two people, a man and a woman. He also made a magical tree, called the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. He told the man and woman not to eat from that tree, but they did after listening to a talking snake who told them they ought to eat it.
To punish the two people, God kicked them out of the magical garden, and made the woman's vagina hurt very badly when she had children. The man was forced to work. Also, he punished them by taking away their immortality, so that they would die one day. What's more, God was so mad at the man and woman that he punished not only them, but everybody who's ever been born since in exactly the same way!
Since god knew all of that was going to happen before it happened, he also knew the rest of his plan, which goes something like this:
First, he got really mad at everybody on the planet, so he killed them all by flooding the entire planet, and only saving one family.
Then, when people were still naughty, he sent Jesus, who is the same as God, down to earth to tell people that if they only believe that he is god, they won't go to hell. The people killed Jesus, but that was all part of the plan. Jesus came back to life and then disappeared into heaven. God did this because he knew that he needed to sacrifice Jesus to himself so that people wouldn't have to kill goats anymore.
Hell is a very nasty place where people who don't believe in Jesus when they die are tortured forever and ever.
After a long time, Jesus is going to come back to earth and destroy the earth, but not before torturing the people on earth for seven years. After that, everyone who believed in Jesus will live happily ever after, and those that didn't will burn in hell for ever and ever.