How does an atheist explain something like this 2: the real testimonies

JesusLovesYou
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How does an atheist explain something like this 2: the real testimonies

nobody believed me, well here it is. the entire thing is in 3 parts, i couldn't splice it into 1

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.


JeremiahSmith
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JesusLovesYou wrote: nobody

JesusLovesYou wrote:
nobody believed me, well here it is. the entire thing is in 3 parts, i couldn't splice it into 1

 So, uh, how does having anecdotes in mp3 form make them more reliable?

Götter sind für Arten, die sich selbst verraten -- in den Glauben flüchten um sich hinzurichten. Menschen brauchen Götter um sich zu verletzen, um sich zu vernichten -- das sind wir.


JesusLovesYou
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JeremiahSmith

JeremiahSmith wrote:

JesusLovesYou wrote:
nobody believed me, well here it is. the entire thing is in 3 parts, i couldn't splice it into 1

 So, uh, how does having anecdotes in mp3 form make them more reliable?

when i wrote down the testimonies i forgot some, so there were holes, so i dug out the conference mp3 files

Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost.


slowhand
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You now owe me 5 minutes of

You now owe me 5 minutes of my life back.

 

The rantings of a delusional psychotic are not evidence.  

“The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.”

“It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.”

<


Voided
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Do you have like a news

Do you have like a news story or maybe something I couldn't easily fake?

Right now what you have is something as credible as an urban legend and even those get into the paper sometimes.


JeremiahSmith
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JesusLovesYou wrote: when i

JesusLovesYou wrote:
when i wrote down the testimonies i forgot some, so there were holes, so i dug out the conference mp3 files

 Okay. That doesn't answer my question. None of us believed your last batch of stories and anecdotes, because they were unverifiable, contradictory with the tenets of your religion, and frankly a little nuts. What makes you think we're going to believe these ones either?

Götter sind für Arten, die sich selbst verraten -- in den Glauben flüchten um sich hinzurichten. Menschen brauchen Götter um sich zu verletzen, um sich zu vernichten -- das sind wir.


GlamourKat
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I just popped in to say

I just popped in to say "How does an atheist explain something like this 2: Electric Boogaloo".

ROTF

And also that this is just as deranged and unprovable as your written stories. Why did you think this is any more believable? I honestly can't figure it out. This isn't proof! We asked for proof, not names or mp3s. I can tell you many stories. I can make up a heartrending miracle story for you right now. Shall I try? Yay, creative writing.

My friend, let's call her... Vivian.

Okay, Vivian gave up on god when she was 19. She was trying to get pregnant about 2 years ago(she was 25 at the time), and couldn't conceive. So she went to a doctor and ended up going in for everything he recommended. In vitro fertilization, fertility drugs, all this expensive stuff. They came to the conclusion that she was infertile, and she'd never have kids. They decided to stop treatment. She went home that night and cried to her husband, Mike Randolph. He suggested prayer. She figured she had nothing to lose, so that night she said, "God? I know we haven't always gotten along, and I'm sorry. But I really want to bring a child into this world, and I pray that you'll help me. Please." She fell asleep. The next day she didn't feel very good, but kept hoping for a miracle. A week later the minister from the church down the street came up to her, smiled, and said, "Congratulations", patted her on the back and walked away. She was in total shock and she sent Mike to get a pregnancy test at the walmart, hardly daring to hope. It came back "Positive". Connor just had his 1st birthday 2 months ago. This was truly a miracle.

There, see? I made it up. Did it bring tears to your eyes? Did it sound plausible?

Atheists: feel free to tear it apart as I made it up and it is in NO WAY REAL, but I want Jesuslovesyou to see how it can be torn apart.

Theists: I dare you to circulate this among a bunch of theists and see if they believe it. I bet a lot of them will. As long as it's presented without my big "FAKE" alarm bells.


ImmaculateDeception
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Oh man....Those were

Oh man....Those were hilarious!  I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  Dave Chapelle has got nothing on this preacher guy.  Pure comedic genius!

 

Wait, he was being serious? 

Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine


the_avenging_bucket
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God exists. i have a friend

God exists.

i have a friend of a friend of a friend who personally experienced a miracle. He was impotent. He prayed a lot, and God gave him the ability to have an erection again.

 

There.

what do you have to say about that you athiests?

I have comprehensively, extensively, and without a shadow of a doubt proven God's existence with this testimony.

 

(if you don't believe me i have it on mp3) 


MrRage
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DAMN! Fucking Quicktime

DAMN!

Fucking Quicktime crashed my browser.

the_avenging_bucket, you'll love this: http://www.atheisteye.com/thegodlessbastard.htm


the_avenging_bucket
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gahahaa....   i have seen

gahahaa....

 

i have seen the banana and the counter banana arguments on youtube.... but the Banana as a sex toy angle is new... roflmao. God you Nympho you.