State Senator Ernie Chambers Sues God
Posted on: September 17, 2007 - 9:55pm
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State Senator Ernie Chambers Sues God
http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html
Chambers says its to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.
POSTED: 1:52 pm CDT September 17, 2007UPDATED: 6:31 pm CDT September 17, 2007
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OMAHA, Neb -- State Senator Ernie Chambers is suing God. He says it to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.Chambers says senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He says his main objection is the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all. Chambers said, "Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody - even God."Chambers said he decided to file this lawsuit after a suit was filed in early September in federal court against Lancaster County Judge Jeffre Cheuvront. He's the judge who was hearing a sexual assault case, where the woman wants to use the words "rape and victim" during her testimony.
Chambers lawsuit, which was filed on Friday in Douglas County Court, seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is “Omnipresent”.In the lawsuit Chambers says he’s tried to contact God numerous times, “Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon Defendant (“Come out, come out, wherever you are”) has been unable to do so.”The suit also requests that the court given the “peculiar circumstances” of this case waive personal service. It says being Omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.The lawsuit accuses God “of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent.”It says God has caused, “fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects, and the like.”The suit also says God has caused, “calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction.”Chambers also says God “has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that Defendant “will laugh” when calamity comes.Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgement. He says as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as “expeditiously” as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.
I thought this was kinda funny, regardless of whether Ernie Chambers is a theist or not.
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If god doesn't show up for the hearing, does Chambers get a default judgement?
Will there be punitive damages?
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I would laugh my ass off if we were all wrong and there actually is a god... and he showed up for this lawsuit... and lost.
Allow me to set the scene.
Some 8 foot tall man that is built like a linebacker walks into the courtroom. He has white hair pulled back into a ponytail. His beard is trimmed. He is wearing a nice blue suit, white shirt, and a red necktie. His tie is a clip-on. Despite knowing everything, he still can't figure out how to tie one of those damn things correctly. Thanks for simplifying things, Sears (he was only there because Jesus needed... wait for it... carpenter's pants. OH SHIT!)
Judge: Will the defendant please rise?
God complies.
Judge: Mister... (looks down at a paper) Gord?
God: It's God, your honor.
Judge: Do you know why you're here today?
God: Yes. I also know that you masturbate to Asian lady-boys that are sucking off Great Danes... and I don't mean the breed of dog.
God is charged with contempt.
After spending the night in jail, God shows up to court the next day. The jury rules in favor of the plaintiff. Why? They thought the defendant was a self-righteous, know-it-all, bigot. Plus, his tie was far too short.
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=SnerdWilliams Independent Atheist Movement Forums
This sort of thing has happened before. A person sued Satan for causing him trouble. The judge ruled that the venue was unacceptable because Satan is the Prince of Hell; thus, he is the head of a foreign government. As such, the US court system held no jurisdiction over him.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Let me translate.
1. square:
We interupt the ongoing story to give you.
Mads vs God
4. square:
... and winner on walkover, once again, Mats monsterman Eriksen!
Next week: Mads vs Zeuz!
"Everyone knows that God drives a Plymouth: "And He drove Adam And Eve from the Garden of Eden in His Fury."
And that Moses liked British cars: "The roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout the hills."
On the other hand, Jesus humbly drove a Honda but didn't brag about it, because in his own words: "I did not speak of my own Accord." "
Allow me to be the first so say, "What?"
Some background story perhaps.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mads_Eriksen
edit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M_%28comic_strip%29
(almost forgot that link)
Read the part on Allegation of blasphemy
Heres the strips in question by the way. also good:
Translations:
first strip:
1. square:
Jesus: Hello people. Jesus christ here. Gods son, but also the jovial carpenter from galilea.
2. square:
jesus: In my job as messia, its important to have your tools in order. Thats why I buy my tools from "Onans bazaar and iron goods"
3, square:
God: AHEM,,, Didnt I see you at "Yehuds carpenter shop and used camels" the other day.
4. square:
Jesus: DAAAAD!
God: .. The holy ghost wants to know why you hang around getsemane with all those hooligans. and whats with all the foot washing.
Second strip:
1. Square:
Jesus:
When one hangs around outdoors all day, the sun and the wind will dry out the skin and make it lifeless and dull.
2. square:
Jesus:
Thats why i use "Pilatus' Crucifiction cream for manly men"!
3. square:
Jesus:
A unike formula with myrr and filistene forskins does the skinn soft and smoothe, and the patented...Æh! Æh!
4. square:
Jesus:
My nose is itching.. Æh! Æh!
Roman soldier:
kutt kutt. (hard to understand that one.
)
"Everyone knows that God drives a Plymouth: "And He drove Adam And Eve from the Garden of Eden in His Fury."
And that Moses liked British cars: "The roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout the hills."
On the other hand, Jesus humbly drove a Honda but didn't brag about it, because in his own words: "I did not speak of my own Accord." "
*yawn* It's been done already.
I hope the Judge throws the case out,saying that you can't sue somebody who isn't real.
http://en.wikinews.org/wiki/Nebraska_Senator_sues_God
Vain are the thousand creeds
That move men's hearts, unutterably vain,
Worthless as withered weeds
Or idlest froth amid the boundless main
How do the mail services deliver the subpoena? Address
God
Kingdom of Heaven
Care of St Peter
Perhaps [email protected] would get a response.
I never heard of that movie. I wonder if it's worth watching?
if you want to see ignorance at it's finest, check out the comments portion of this article in the Lincoln paper. We've got our share of dumbasses here in Nebraska, that's for damn sure.
http://www.journalstar.com/articles/2007/09/17/news/politics/doc46ef102aa68ed928664526.txt
“The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.”
“It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God, but to create him.”
<If God is in heaven, where's he going to get a lawyer?
I give it a nice thumbs up. Definitely worth looking for. Australian movie so I'm not surprised you haven't heard of it, no idea what kind of publicity (if any) it would have had overseas. Kind of like "The Castle" which is another great Aussie movie nobody outside this country has heard of.
Organised religion is the ultimate form of blasphemy.
Censored and blacked out for internet access in ANZ!
AU: http://nocleanfeed.com/ | NZ: http://nzblackout.org/
You think he can keep all of his rules straight without lawyers. The Bible is just one giant legal document. What do you think a covenant is??
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Ernie Chambers is an atheist. He spoke at FFRF conventions already.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/09/20/suing.god.ap/index.html
lol wow the saga continues
LINCOLN, Nebraska (AP) -- A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response.
State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha said he sued God last week to make a point about frivolous lawsuits.
One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.
"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here -- poof!" Friend said.
State Sen. Ernie Chambers of Omaha sued God last week, seeking a permanent injunction against the Almighty for making terroristic threats, inspiring fear and causing "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."
Chambers, a self-proclaimed agnostic who often criticizes Christians, said his filing was triggered by a federal lawsuit he considers frivolous. He said he's trying to make the point that anybody can sue anybody.
Not so, says "God." His response argues that the defendant is immune from some earthly laws and the court lacks jurisdiction.
It adds that blaming God for human oppression and suffering misses an important point.
"I created man and woman with free will and next to the promise of immortal life, free will is my greatest gift to you," according to the response, as read by Friend.
There was no contact information on the filing, although St. Michael the Archangel is listed as a witness, Friend said.
A second response from "God" disputing Chambers' allegations lists a phone number for a Corpus Christi law office. A message left for that office was not immediately returned Thursday.
Attempts to reach Chambers by phone and at his Capitol office Thursday were unsuccessful.Go here if you would like to donate to help pay for server costs
Wouldn't it be great if you could get out of court in real life by telling a horse shit story like that?
Sapient in jail for murdering: 3.5 trillion people
Sapient doesn't show up because: "Well you have to understand I gave everyone a choice to step in to my line of fire, and they all chose wrong. I allowed people to get away, but they didn't run fast enough. Oh well... I wont be in court, so don't come looking for me."
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I can see it now, thousands get out of going to jail because of this line of reasoning.
"Sorry, you have to understand that my katana cut his head off. He stepped in the way, it couldn't be helped."
Judge: "But you were the one swinging."
Me: "No, God did it."
Judge: "Well shit, off you go back home. You did nothing wrong."
We start seeing shit like that, im running away ;p
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APPARENTLY THE RESPONSE FROM GOD WAS A HOAX AND HE'S STILL ON THE HOOK. THIS SENT TO ME BY KAREN AT AMERICAN HUMANIST:
Court Filing from God Proved a Hoax
For Immediate Release - Contact Fred Edwords at (202) 238-9088 or (301)
236-0658
[email protected] - www.americanhumanist.org
(Washington D.C., September 21, 2007)The American Humanist Association announced this afternoon that analysis by constitutional legal scholar Mel lipman shows that the Nebraska court filing--allegedly received miraculously from God by the District Court of Douglas County, Nebraska, on September 18--cannot be authentic.
"Any god worthy of his divinity would have access to the best lawyers in the universe," Lipman declared. "Yet this court filing is sophomoric. If one of my students turned in something like this, I'd grade it with an F."
Lipman, who is president of the American Humanist Association, is also a Las Vegas attorney who teaches constitutional law at the Nevada campus of the University of Phoenix and a former board member of the Nevada Civil liberties Union. Additionally, he is a humanist minister who is a member of the Las Vegas Interfaith Council.
"The dead giveaway that the document doesn't bear any fingerprint of cosmic authority is found right up front, in its very purpose of challenging the court's jurisdiction," Lipman added. "The courts have jurisdiction over anyone who commits an act in the jurisdiction. Moreover, Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers had already addressed this in his initial petition of
September 14 when he declared that the District Court of Douglas County, Nebraska, has jurisdiction 'by virtue of the fact that Defendant, being Omnipresent, is personally present in Douglas County'."
Lipman then took on the first numbered reason given for alleged lack of jurisdiction, which reads: "No proper and sufficient service of summons has been had upon GOD." Lipman argued, "Chambers addressed this as well, pointing out that God, being 'Omniscient', is all-knowing and thus 'shall be deemed to have actual knowledge of this action'. Therefore, he doesn't
require service of summons."
But Lipman saved his strongest refutation for the third numbered reason in the document: "GOD does not issue terroristic threats, but HE will visit an appropriate punishment upon the blasphemous Complainant by seeing that he is removed from office next year."
Lipman noted strongly, "In all legal matters, only the courts may assign punishment or give sentence. Therefore, no proper legal filing may contain a threat or promise of punishment by any party against any other party."
Regarding this, some in the news media have suggested that this wording shows God's sense of humor, since term limits will already conclude Chambers' term.
"This argument won't save it," Lipman determined. "Humorous items aren't permitted in court documents. Therefore, the presence of this third reason, alone, renders the whole filing improper, to be rejected on its face."
Summing up his overall conclusion, Lipman declared authoritatively, "If there is a god, this document cannot be his handiwork. Therefore, this "Special Appearance' challenge in Omaha, Nebraska, must now take its place alongside other prominent hoaxes, such as the Jesus family ossuaries, the Shroud of Turin, and the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich."
# # #
To read the full text of the alleged filing by God, DOC. 1075, NO. 462, go to www.americanhumanist.org/press/goddoc.pdf.
The American Humanist Association (www.americanhumanist.org) is the oldest and largest humanist organization in the nation. The AHA is dedicated to ensuring a voice for nontheistic Americans and advancing a positive outlook, based on reason and experience, that embraces all of humanity.
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Really, there is a jurisdiction issue here. God would be the sovereign of a foreign principality; thus, God would not be adjudicatable in the US. If the state senator wishes to sue God, he will have to file suit in God's principality. I'm pretty sure he would need to die to do that.
This is a funny bit of news; however, I also find it mildly irritating. For anyone dealing with the court system on a daily business, you know that the system is sluggish at best. Part of the problem is a caseload that should not exist. People use their ability to sue like I use tissue paper.
Often, the court will adjudicate a matter out of "judicial economy." That is how the doctrine of res judicata arose. God and the Devil have been sued before. THey are "foreign princes." A state senator should know better than to waste the court's time.
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
He's wasting their time to prove that they waste too much time. :P
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I think the point that the Senator was using to combat your first point is that since hes everywhere (omnipresent) that he is in all juristictions at once, so can be sued whereever.
But yeah, its entertaining.
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One portion of the jurisdiction test is whether the individual is to be found within the jurisdiction. This is known as in personum jurisdiction. However, there are many instances when an individual is in personum but the court still lacks jurisdiction.
A prime example of such an exclusion is for ambassadors and their families. If they commit a crime, they are returned to their native land for trial. This is also true of visiting princes. If such exemptions were not made, it would be dangerous for any head of state to travel abroad.
An interesting example of when that goes awry was the Pinochet extradition trial in Great Britain. The law lords made a mess of a thousand years of common law.
I suspect the state senator was hoping for some national coverage. He must have his sights on a higher office.
{ed: Changed the word corporum to personum. Personum is used in jurisdictional matters, and Corporum is used in property law when deciding the fee tail.}
"Tis better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven." -Lucifer
Sounds like we have another fan of the RRS's methods.