I could really use some financial advice please.

Zeeboe
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I could really use some financial advice please.

I'm a school-bus monitor, and for the pass two years, the hours at my job have gone down. I work six and a half hours, I don't work on weekends, major holidays, or the summer. My rent has also gone up, and seems to keep going up, and is now 760-something every month when it was over a hundred dollars less when I first moved in. My last paycheck was like 436-something and that's usually how most of my paychecks look. Things are going really bad. Sad

Having typed that, I'm worried I may have to ask my parents if I can move back in with them next year. My lease is up in early 2013. Based on what I've told you, do you think I'd have to move back home or is there any chance for me at all? There's another apartment near by that is about 500-something a month. I thought about moving there, but I still worry if I can afford it or not.

It's also hard to find a second job, and even if I did, my job skills are limited, and I don't have a car either.

 

By the way - Just one extra question please - Apart of me thinks that if I have to move back home next year, I'd like to figuratively have a "Last Supper". In other words, do something fun. I was thinking of going to Europe for two weeks. England for a week, and Germany for five days. I'd probably go in October, and just put most of the trip on my credit card. Then when I move back home in early 2012, I'd save up a few paychecks, and pay it all off, but for the first few months, I'd have to pay the bare minimum. Does this sound like a good idea or would it just make things worst?


One more thing - If there are any kids or teens reading this, please stay in school and do well in school. Go to school everyday, pay attention in class, and do your homework. Don't let troublemakers or party animals or drugs or booze or anything or anyone else mess things up for you. People like me have the problems we do because we didn't do well in school. My problem was I was lazy and I was stupid, and now I get to be a bum for the rest of his life who works on a bus, doesn't drive a car, collects food stamps, and may have to live with his parents and I'm almost 30. I'm also a junior college drop-up and single. Know why? Cause no decent woman wants to be with a man who can't provide for her. If you don't want to be like me, you need to do the opposite of what I did when I was a kid, and do really well in school. I never cared about the future and look where it got me. You don't want to end up like this one day.

(Sorry for the whining and the preaching. I'm a little blue right now.)


Cpt_pineapple
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Don't run up your credit

Don't run up your credit cards if you move back. It will just take longer to move back out.


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.

It is difficult to reconcile a problem with making the rent and blowing four months rent on two weeks in Europe.

 

Jews stole the land. The owners want it back. That is all anyone needs to know about Israel. That is all there is to know about Israel.

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As a libertarian I tell you

As a libertarian I tell you with near absolute certainty your problem lies in the fact that you are not a producer, but part of the parasitic underclass with your mouth firmly gripped on the sour teat of the socialist state. If you did not inherit a pair of bootstraps then find someone in a situation even worse than yours who did, cheat them out of it, and use it to pull yourself up. Before my anterior cingulate cortex was removed with an ice cream scoop the ghost of Ayn Rand visited me and she said bla, bla, bla ...

There are twists of time and space, of vision and reality, which only a dreamer can divine
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I agree I am a weakling and

I agree I am a weakling and a pure parasite, and my life is worthless, and I have only made things worst for everyone around me. BUT I figure the best way to get revenge for being born with half a mind and bad parents, and thus being denied a chance at having a full and wonderful life is by taking full advantage of America, it's freedom, and it's laws, and live as long as I can, and suck up everything I can from everyone else.

i.e. Be the bastard who rented the last copy of the movie you were going to get at Blockbuster, fart silently in the elevator you're in, outbid you on the item you *almost* won on Ebay and were going to have better use of it then I was, be ahead of you at Starbucks and take the last coffee cake, piss on the public toliet seat after I use it and use all the TP, leaving nothing for you but a piss-filled toliet seat, and my left-overs in the toliet, and take a really long time at Subway giving details about how I need the sandwhich made while you have to stand behind me with your stomach empty and dying for food.

And if you kick my ass for doing any of this stuff to you, or even make threats to kick my ass, I get to call the police, and you're money becomes *MY* money and you get to go to jail while I use the money I won from you in court on phone sex and strip clubs. God, I love being an American!

 

Sucks being a victim, huh? Eye-wink Yeah, I know how you feel. I guess that's life though.


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IF you are seriously

IF you are seriously thinking about Europe in your situation then you are clearly in self-destruct mode. Get it out of your head. PERIOD.  IF you can't use your credit card responsibly or for emergencies only, then have your mother hold it for you or just cut it up.

Whatever you got by without today- you will probably get by without tommorrow. Once you've gotten that clear get out a notebook and put your financial situation on paper.

There are free credit/budget forms online.  Try Cricket.com . IT is a bankruptcy service but has an excellent budget system. All you have to do is fill in the blanks.  It will show you straight up where you stand and what % of what you are spending too much on.

IT breaks down everything for you. even stupid misc. shit like how much you eat out and what you spend on movie rentals.   I think the budget form is free to download. IF no luck there explore the net.

Going over the shit in your head does not work. You need it to be spelled out to you and reviewable on paper or text. 

 

And don't be so glum. If you are able and working then you are not worthless- no matter what your job is.  However, I would bet those summers off are not helping you at all.  That's a long time to go backwards financially. Get a seasonal summer job if you have to.-Even if it's an ice cream shack.

And moving back in with the folks isn't the end of the world, unless it just enables you to keep sinking and you end up quitting work all together and sit on the basement couch playing the old nintendo you dug out of the attic. 

"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia


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Not easy

Avoid getting into debt, it causes serious depression.

Move somewhere cheaper.

Try to find more work.

 


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Gauche wrote:As a

Gauche wrote:

As a libertarian I tell you with near absolute certainty your problem lies in the fact that you are not a producer, but part of the parasitic underblablabla.

You are very funny.

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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Get rid of your credit

Get rid of your credit cards.

Use cash only

Buy only what you need.

Cut spending by getting rid of all the bells and whistles

Live only where you can afford it and still save money

Don't travel abroad

Live with your parents if you can

Save money, invest in land if you can.

 

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

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 First of all, you need to

 First of all, you need to create a very detailed budget so you know exactly where all your money is going and exactly how much you need in your current situation. I wrote a post awhile ago about how to get out of debt, I suggest you read it even if you don't currently have any debt because many of the same things can be done to save money.  http://www.rationalresponders.com/rational_budgeting_dealing_debt

 

There are several places online that provide various worksheets and such to create a budget. It doesn't matter which one you use as long as it works for you and you stick to it. http://frugalliving.about.com/od/frugalliving101/ht/Frugal_Budget.htm Start cutting any extras out of your budget. You said you are on food stamps, are you able to keep your food costs within your benefit? If not, consider ways of reducing your food costs by including more rice, beans or pasta in your diet. Saving a little to buy non-perishable foods in bulk can save you quite a bit of money. Or stop by your local food bank to supplement.

 

Staying at a cheaper place sounds like a good move. Whether it is the cheaper apartment or with your parents I guess depends on your relationship with your parents. Circumstances forced me to move back with my parents when I was 23 and it didn't work out so well- maybe your parents (or you) are easier to live with. The advantage of a smaller apartment is that it also consumes less electricity, which can save you a few bucks as well. If you are talking about one bedroom apartments, consider getting an efficiency. Efficiency apartments in Ohio often rent for around $400, maybe that is already what you are talking about and just have higher rent in your area.

 

A trip to Europe on a credit card is a really bad idea. Not only the initial cost itself, but the interest on it afterwards will make it quite a bit more expensive. If you want to go to Europe, work that into your budget and set aside $x every month. Many banks have savings accounts that prevent  you from accessing the money until you reach a certain goal. They usually pay a higher interest rate than normal savings. Also, check out local credit unions. They tend to have friendlier banking policies towards smaller account holders and often offer higher interest rates on savings, in addition to paying an annual dividend. Having an account set up just for the Europe trip could be great motivation for you to find more work. 

 

More income would help in your situation and it sounds like you have plenty of time. Go to the nearest temp agencies and see if you can get temp work. These jobs don't require any experience and usually they are on a first come first serve basis. Show up at the temp agency at the asscrack of dawn on days you don't work your other job and there is a good chance you will be sent out to do something. The jobs are usually pretty miserable and usually pay little more than minimum wage, but it is extra money.

 

Also, when out on these jobs talk to the person supervising. They are usually in a position in whatever company is hiring the temps that they can heavily influence hiring decisions. Make sure they know you are looking for full time work, and make a good impression on them. Provide them with your contact information and a resume. 

 

Another idea for quick money is to donate plasma. That requires you fall within certain health requirements, but if you do you can get a little bit of money.

 

It isn't too late for you to get a marketable skill. Go around to local businesses in your area whether they are advertising for hiring or not and speak with the owners, managers or human resources, whichever makes decisions on hiring. Offer your services to them for an entry level position. You are going to get a lot of places that simply say "no", give them your contact information and tell them to contact you as soon as a position opens and stay persistent. It doesn't matter if 99% of the businesses you talk to say no. You only need one yes.

 

When you do get that yes, learn the industry. Even when you are not at work, do your research online and find out how you can improve  yourself inside that industry. Find out what certifications or education will give you a leg up for moving to higher positions. Talk with your supervisor about your desires and see if the company would be willing to help with the costs of getting certified or with taking college classes. 

 

Bottom line is you have to be very persistent and don't be picky about what job you take. If you end up flipping burgers you still have a higher income than you do now. And once you have a job, build connections- people are far more likely to hire someone they know than a stranger and you don't know when someone you know is going to be in a position to offer you a good job. Maybe even someone at your current job can offer something, or maybe has a spouse/family member who could offer you something. If you haven't, you should tell all your coworkers you are looking for extra work. 

 

And finally, when you are working, avoid becoming complacent. The temptation for many people is to fall into the comfortable routine and stop looking for better work inside or outside of their current employer. 

 

 

 

I just usually go with my own taste. If I like something, and it happens to be against the law, well, then I might have a problem.- Hunter S. Thompson


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You only live once. Go to

You only live once. Go to Europe. Refuse to be a slave to capitalism.

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Vas

Vastet wrote:
You only live once. Go to Europe. Refuse to be a slave to capitalism.

 

You only starve to death once too Vas.   Only once do you die from exposure when you're homeless.

I don't think Zeeboe is in the right frame of mind to pull off a trip to Europe and deal with the reality when he wakes up.

That advice would be ok for someone with the drive to adapt, overcome, and make his own lovely world, but I don't think that's the case here. 

 

"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia


Vastet
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And I don't see a future for

And I don't see a future for this society through my lifetime, so I care nothing about helping the status quo. Worst case scenario he can rack up a shitload of debt and declare bankruptcy as he moves in with his parents to recover.

Starving to death and exposure aren't realistic scenarios here. We don't live in Africa.

Also, there'd been enough "good" advice given already. It was time to add more options and reference points.

Besides, he might find a job overseas.

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.


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Vastet wrote:You only live

Vastet wrote:
You only live once. Go to Europe. Refuse to be a slave to capitalism.

 

Going into debt makes you a slave to the person you owe the money to. I'm not saying don't go to Europe, just make the money to pay for it first. It will be quite a bit cheaper and maybe you can go twice. Assuming a trip to Europe would cost $2000 you are talking about running about $30-$50 a month in interest. If you are willing to delay gratification for a bit and save the money first, you can have a much more enjoyable time and not find yourself with an obligation that will be difficult to pay off. People who live within their means will always live a more prosperous lifestyle than those who spend it first.

 

The main difference between the wealthy and the poor is the wealthy live within their means. Note, I said wealthy not "rich", it is perfectly possible to have a high income and be poor, and perfectly possible to have a lower income and have wealth. Make interest work for you, not against you and you will find that whatever your income, your purchasing power will be higher. 

 

I just usually go with my own taste. If I like something, and it happens to be against the law, well, then I might have a problem.- Hunter S. Thompson


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.

Zeeboe wrote:
I agree I am a weakling and a pure parasite, and my life is worthless, and I have only made things worst for everyone around me.


If you can drive, drive a cab. Maybe only $6.50 an hour but you can drive as many hours as you can stay awake seven days a week every week year round. You can even live in your cab. If a cop asks, you are catching some sleep on a slow night. If the cops see you as a good driver they will be on your side. You can even tell them the truth.

 

Jews stole the land. The owners want it back. That is all anyone needs to know about Israel. That is all there is to know about Israel.

www.ussliberty.org

www.giwersworld.org/made-in-alexandria/index.html

www.giwersworld.org/00_files/zion-hit-points.phtml


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Gauche

Gauche,

as a libertarian? What? are you not an atheist? lol.

it's impossible for an atheist to be a libertarian iconsistently speaking. It is also impossible to be a democrat

Funny post Gauche.

Respectfully,

Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).

A Rational Christian of Intelligence (rare)with a valid and sound justification for my epistemology and a logical refutation for those with logical fallacies and false worldviews upon their normative of thinking in retrospect to objective normative(s). This is only understood via the imago dei in which we all are.

Respectfully,

Jean Chauvin (Jude 3).


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Move back in with your

Move back in with your parents if they are fine with it. Get a job with a future not a bus driver. In 20 years as a bus driver you are still a bus driver. Learn new skills away from work which will give you an edge over all the other people looking to get what you want.. Basically press the reset button on your adult life. Don't go to Europe with debt, it is a stupid idea.

Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
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Thanks for the responses. I

Thanks for the responses. I should have added this however - I have family in England, so I'd most likely stay with them, and maybe two days in London at a hotel, (since my cousins live an hour and a half away from London, and if I'm in England, I'm going to be dying to go to London and stay there for just a little while since there's so much to do.) followed by about maybe five days in Germany, maybe two days, staying at a hotel.

Based on my research, I am guessing the bill would be about 5,000 when I came back. I'd have to use another one of my credit cards if it goes over five thousand since that is my current credit line. In any event, I figure give the bank one hundred dollars a month for the first four months while I'm still living in my apartment. Then if and when I move in with my parents (sigh) start paying a thousand a month. It's not like I'd have rent or other big bills anymore. My biggest concern about moving back home however is it may really hurt my self-esteem having to go backwards in life, then I'll have to start seeing a shrink, which will really get me in debt.

 

I think I know what the two best choices are, and I'm stuck trying to decide. I can either move to a cheaper place and get a roommate, which can be a risk, and who knows how long my luck will last in that regard, both with a roommate and just being able to put in my share, or moving back home, pay off the big giant bill if I decide to have my "last supper", and try to learn some type of a skill, or move back home, pay off the bill, then save up for a really long time like I did a few years ago, move out again............and then have this same problem in five-ten years depended how much I save since the money I make is rubbish.

 

Being alive sucks. Sad Eye-wink

 

I should also add I think the reason why I am thinking about all this traveling, among other things, is because I've had to live the cheap lifestyle for over three years now, and it'd be nice to see how this other half lives even if it'd be for a very short amount of time.

However, I have a habit of over hyping things, glamorizing stuff, places, and people, and going into experiences thinking that it's going to be just like the movies, and of course, it rarely is, and I'm worried that I'll be let down.  Especially if I can spend a short amount of time in London. And given that if I go, I have to go there on a big  budget, there's a chance that will happen. I also admit, I really don't enjoy traveling for the most part. i.e. The sitting, the waiting, the long lines, etc. But if there's something amazing waiting at the end of the rainbow, it's worth it, and I think Europe would be. But I also worry about being a victim to crime too, or just dealing with some really rude person.

 

I also go through these different phases where I'm interested in one topic for a while, but then I move on to another. Having typed that, I'm worried by the time I go on this trip, my heart may not be into it as it should be. I'd be psyched to go, but there is a chance, the heart won't be 100% excited, but then later on in life, when the topic intrigues me again, then I'd be looking at all the pictures and videos and reminiscing and telling stories and I'd be grateful that I had the experience for sure, and that I was able to cross something off the bucket list finally.

 Oh yeah, and there's also a strong chance my Mother will want to go with me, and I'm worried she'll drive me crazy, and I figure I might be spending enough time with her next year.  Yeah, I was right the first time. Being alive sucks.

 

I don't know. I'm probably being a big baby about all this, and need to just pick the most manly thing, and the most manly thing to me honestly sounds like getting a new place, a roommate, a second job, and go to Europe in my dreams. (Although being a lazy rich guy or pretending to be a lazy rich guy sounds more fun.)


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Ok I tried the nice-guy

Ok I tried the nice-guy approach.  LISTEN UP CUZ HERE'S THE NEWS!  There is no fucking rainbow. IF you think you are bummed now, wait til you're so far in debt you can't fucking breathe. Living with the folks is nothing like the feeling of hopeless debt.

You sound like my X. Irresponsible, unnaccountable, and unreasonable.  Europe ain't going nowhere. IF $1,000 -month payments are so easy, then move home and in 5 months you'll have the dough.

People kill themselves over hopeless debt.  You act like you got nothing to lose. If you got a roof over your head, a job, and something to eat, then you ain't hit bottom yet pal.

I've been homeless before asshole, and not cuz I spent all my money at Disneyland.  IT ain't pretty and it ain't easy to get back on your feet.

You take all your summers off and you're crying "I wanna go to Europe" Are you fucking kidding me?

How fucking old are you?  I think you should join the army.

Do me a favor. Next time you go see your mommy- Slap her right in the fucking mouth.

"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia


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tonyjeffers wrote:Ok I tried

tonyjeffers wrote:

Ok I tried the nice-guy approach.  LISTEN UP CUZ HERE'S THE NEWS!  There is no fucking rainbow. IF you think you are bummed now, wait til you're so far in debt you can't fucking breathe. Living with the folks is nothing like the feeling of hopeless debt.

You sound like my X. Irresponsible, unnaccountable, and unreasonable.  Europe ain't going nowhere. IF $1,000 -month payments are so easy, then move home and in 5 months you'll have the dough.

People kill themselves over hopeless debt.  You act like you got nothing to lose. If you got a roof over your head, a job, and something to eat, then you ain't hit bottom yet pal.

I've been homeless before asshole, and not cuz I spent all my money at Disneyland.  IT ain't pretty and it ain't easy to get back on your feet.

You take all your summers off and you're crying "I wanna go to Europe" Are you fucking kidding me?

How fucking old are you?  I think you should join the army.

Do me a favor. Next time you go see your mommy- Slap her right in the fucking mouth.

 

 

 

                   I'm with Tony on this, deal with this now!!!   Moveing back with your perants AND being in debt will be the most depressing thing possible,  you may never recover from it. Take care of yourself NOW, get a different Job now! Something that makes you feel a little more important then the one you got, add a second job, that way you'll be too busy to be depressed and Europe will still be there, honest.

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."

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lol. I'm going to be

lol. I'm going to be thirty-years old on November 1st of this year. *facepalm* Course, being twenty bummed me out too once. How silly was that. In any case, I can't smack my Ma because she was smacked often enough as it was my drugged-addicted Father, and I can already tell ya, my parents raising of me totally screwed me up, but they were wanna-be hippies/wanna-be bikers/Christians/Half-ass rednecks. Not to mention the fact that I was born 50% retarded. What do you expect?

My old man was babied himself growing up, and he was spoiled by my Grandma, which pretty much turned him into a wild man who thought he could do as he pleased, and it was all about him the first few years of my youth. He cared more about gambling, partying, his garage band, booze, and drugs, (which made him violent, which made him beat my Ma), then he did about his wife and two kids, who also ended up becoming brats because my Ma figured by making us feel important, it somehow fixed the abuse we saw. Of course, the abuse also turned my sister and I into weaklings. It's okay for my sister to have been a weakling however cause she was a girl living in the damn South. She was smart too, and became a hottie.

I however was a boy, and we all know how weak boy get treated. Me being born a tard' with mental disorders did not help matters out because I sucked at everything, including social skills. I ended up eating all my emotions and became fat and ugly. I finally lost a lot of the weight, but I'm still big enough to be consider fat. So now add to the fact that I was bullied a lot growing up, and this is what you have today.

- Timid and strange guy with poor job and social skills and odd sexual fetishes. That's why I have this "fuck it" attitude and just wanna figuratively get in a fast car, go really fast, and drive off the cliff. i.e. Do something fun before death. I AM a total parasite. I should have never been born. I'm a disgrace to my family and to my penis. Very likely I'm gonna off myself one day. I don't now because there's stuff I'd like to do, including going to Europe.

 

Honesty rules. This is not crying. You folks are all about truth. No bullshit, and this is me stating cold hard facts. If it's okay for others to flame me online, then it should be alright for me to join in. I'm very stoic now. I don't need or desire change. The whole point of this thread is to ask what the best way to jump off the cliff is and what type of loser to be in life because there's all kinds of them.

 

Another thing - Most of the time, when people need advice, they already know what they are going to do. We just seek advice because for some reason, we needs others to give us permission. I'm not the only one who does this either. It was observing others over the years seeking advice that lead me to this opinion.

 

/thread

 

 

EDIT: I am not trying to bitch or argue. I'm very grateful for the advice and responses. When the time comes to make the right choice, I know I'll make it.


tonyjeffers
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No, unacceptable.  People

No, unacceptable.  People who blab about suicide are just wanting others to say " oh don't do it".    You're a disgrace to depression.  Calling yourself a loser doesn't cut it.  At least have the balls to be an asshole.

Sure you can off yourself and leech all you can on your way out.  But don't sit there and tell us about it.  It's no different than stealing from us on your way out the door.  Some of us have worked our fingers to the bone and made it possible for you to ride around on your cozy little bus.  And you ain't the only one who got dealt a raw deal.

FUCK YOU. I hope you fail and end up getting your food thru a straw with a shit-bag strapped to your hip.

"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia


Zeeboe
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lol. I'm not trying to get

lol. I'm not trying to get pity. I spend more time on forums really talking to myself/thinking outloud via text then anything, and that's how I prefer it. It's almost like I'm blogging, but I like to make sure others can respond, so I typically ramble on forums. 

Dealing with special needs kids can be hard if it's not your thing, and I have the scars to prove it. lol. Only kidding, but no, I'm glad to do it because I'm good at it. I work with pre-k kids as well, and that too can be hard to work with, but I don't mind, and I love every second of it, and not everyone can do it, and I've seen that personally. It takes talent. And not all buses are "cozy".

You did nothing to get those kids put on that bus either, or me. It was U.S. troops who fought for freedom, followed by various civil rights workers that got the kids on there, which got me on there. And the pre-K kids are your future lawyers, doctors, police officers, etc, and I consider it an honor getting to play a small part in teaching them how we do things in life, and how to have good manners.

The special ed kids can't help that they are the way they are, and neither can I, which is why I'm the perfect person to work with them because I can understand them, and what we need is compassion and understanding. If you have a problem with us being here however, all I can suggest to you is that you please write a member of congress to try to get out civil rights taken away. Good luck with that.

Sorry you're upset, think what you will, and have a good one. Thanks again for the feedback.


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Zeebonehead

 

Zeeboe wrote:
The whole point of this thread is to ask what the best way to jump off the cliff is and what type of loser to be in life

 

1. Head first

2. Sounds like you got that one covered

 

Now, I take everything else back.  You should listen to Vastet and go to Europe. But stay there.

It takes more than troops to keep this country from becoming the shit-heap of the universe.  It's people like me that build and repair your houses and buses, all the while dragging the weak along with us and keeping the whole drowning system afloat. 

And YES, when the people we carry on our backs, piss and moan about the ride we get a little pissed.

Some of us tried to give you some sensible advice and your reply was wah wah boo boo blah blah.

Obviously no one has ever put it to you straight so that's what I tried to do.

Now have some balls and get your shit squared away Private Pyle. 

If not I'd be glad to direct you to a great jumping off point.

"...but truth is a point of view, and so it is changeable. And to rule by fettering the mind through fear of punishment in another world is just as base as to use force." -Hypatia


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But this is how society

But this is how society functions. We all do our part, and take care of each other and take turns carrying each other. At the end of a long work day, maybe you decide you feel like a little Burger King on the way home, and those people have been working all day too, and are tired, but some are glad to work to feed you. Cops are out there dying to protect you, firemen are putting out fires we start, Doctor's work to save our lives, etc, etc. And parents have to get to work to do their part, and they need someone to see to their children, and maybe they don't have time to drive their kids to school, and that's when we come in. And the bus driver has to be able to drive, and focus on the road in heavy duty traffic, and can't have kids yelling and screaming, or going up to em' and hitting the driver or the other kids, and finally, that's where *I* come in. Smiling

Again, I'm glad to have the responses. It's been a confusing few days, and I'm sorry I took it out on this thread. The most ballsy thing to do in my view is to get a second job, move out, get an apartment with a roommate, and if I can somehow find the time, go to school. That's what a person with a sack would do, not go live with Mommy and Daddy, so I can go to England and spend time in a BDSM club in London. But if I can grow a sack is the challenge at this point and time.


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 It sounds like you know

 It sounds like you know what you should do, just do it. And it doesn't have to be a choice between doing the responsible thing and going to Europe. Set up a financial plan that includes paying say $500 into savings every month for your trip and pay it as if it is as important as your rent. You will have to delay your trip a little, but when you go you can have fun blowing your money and not have the headache of severe debt to deal with when you get back. And after saving your $5,000 you might decide to do something else, you will have that flexibility.

 

Objectively, the best thing to do with your $5,000 would be to invest it and continue saving so you can draw an income stream off of it, then go to Europe without draining it completely. That would put your trip about two years away instead of one. I can understand not wanting to delay that long, but delayed gratification can allow you to have significantly more in the future.

 

If you write a plan down on paper and force yourself to stick to it you will find that saving money isn't as difficult as you imagine. It might require a few sacrifices, patience and more careful scrutiny of your budget but it is certainly possible to have your cake and eat it too. A little discipline goes a long way. 

I just usually go with my own taste. If I like something, and it happens to be against the law, well, then I might have a problem.- Hunter S. Thompson


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tonyjeffers wrote:I think

tonyjeffers wrote:

I think you should join the army.

Tony is right.

 

Zeeboe wrote:

..what the best way to jump off the cliff is..

The military will either give you purpose or turn you into cannon fodder like you desire.

 

Zeeboe wrote:

..I work with pre-k kids as well..

You are not a good influence on these children.

 

Zeeboe wrote:

...

Of course, the abuse also turned my sister and I into weaklings.

...

Gluttonous attitudes like yours are common. Some people become stronger in advertisity, while others crumble. Do you choose to fall apart and become nothing more than a forgotten shadow of  man?


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Hi Zeeboe,I'm sorry to hear

Hi Zeeboe,

I'm sorry to hear things aren't going well. Sad

- Can't you find a roommate to split the bill? Edit: Ah, you've already thought about it of course. Try Craigslist?

- Don't put yourself further into debt. Pretty please?

- Military is not a bad idea. I imagine you would do pretty well on the ASVAB. 

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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I agree with everyone that

I agree with everyone that you should go military.  If you can get in.

Want to see the world, visit interesting cultures, and then bomb the shit out of them from the safety of being 500 miles out to sea?  Join the Navy!  I did!  After the cruise missiles fire off you can go get some icecream, enjoy a movie, and accumulate money while you sleep for your next drunken port visit.

Don't worry about having skills and intelligence.  For every decent sailor there were at least 4 utterly worthless pieces of shit drooling next to them.  Spoken from years of experience in the Nav.

Or just sit around Texas and rot.  A lot of my friends went that route too.  Poor, stupid bastards.

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Since your choices are now

Since your choices are now apparently joining the military or going into debt maybe you should just put yourself in debt. Either way you'll most likely realize immediately you don't like it and take years to get out of it. If you want to improve your life then start thinking about how you treat others.

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One step at a time

I don't know you, but you don't sound suited to the military.

Getting out of a bind is difficult, so maybe concentrate on one thing at a time. That way something might get done.

 

One possibility is to initially just worry about cutting your accommodation costs, by whatever means.

When I was young, moving to a room in a shared house saved me money and broadened my horizons.


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Alright, I'm going to take

Alright, I'm going to take off my devils advocate hat and get serious here.

First thing you need to do is get some help. It may sound stupid or corny or uncomfortable or whatever, but you won't ever get anywhere when all you do is bash on yourself. Being self critical can be an asset, but there's such a thing as overdoing it. You aren't a serial killing child rapist who offed his own parents and ate their remains I presume? Because no matter how much you consider yourself a leech you can't possibly compare to the true, hard dregs of society. The people that anyone with any decency couldn't stand at all.

Getting help in the US is beyond my ken, so I can't advise you on that, but you should be able to start with a regular doctor and go from there.

Second, you need to look at this as an opportunity to get a bit ahead, not as a step back. Millions of 30 year olds have had to move home, or never even left. You're no better or worse than any of them, unless you decide to shit on yourself instead of taking the

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opportunity to get a better

opportunity to get a better education and get out of debt.

If you just go out with a bang, you'll be costing society even more. If instead you take the time to get on your feet, you'll be able to contribute instead of leech. And noone who had to carry you will have anything to say. The whole point of that system is to get you back on your feet. Use it properly, and you can feel good about yourself.

Don't bother going military. They have no interest in suicidal people. You'll be hated and kicked out at the first opportunity. They won't give you the chance to get yourself killed in action. Training maybe. But that's a pretty unimpressive way to go.

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I doubt he's seriously

I doubt he's seriously suicidal.  If he is, the main reason would be that he's depressed at how his life has progressed so far.

Serving the country of your birth by being in the military is an uplifting and fulfilling action to many people.  If he's pacifist he can go the medical route and become a corpsman.  Saving a fellow soldier's life would boost your ego something fierce.

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Whether he's seriously

Whether he's seriously suicidal isn't really the issue, it's his state of mind. I know if he was seriously suicidal that he'd have probably already made an attempt. I've worked in psychiatric wards, and have taken courses on psychology. I know how it works. Not well enough to be a psychologist or psychiatrist, but enough to know when the assistance of one could be of great benefit.

The military doesn't give a shit. They don't have time, and the job is far too hazardous to take risks with people who say something that brings into question their dedication or trustworthyness.

He needs to sort himself out before thinking about such a path.

I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad path, but he won't make it the way he's looking at himself right now.

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Well since I was in the

Well since I was in the American military, I think I have somewhat of a tiny bit of experience with the military in this country.   As long as he kept his trap shut, no one would give a fuck.

We had a guy commit suicide on one of my deployments.   Nothing easier than killing yourself by jumping off of a carrier in the middle of the ocean.

I knew a lot of people that exhibited suicidal tendencies in the six years I spent serving.

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.

Vastet wrote:
Whether he's seriously suicidal isn't really the issue, it's his state of mind. I know if he was seriously suicidal that he'd have probably already made an attempt. I've worked in psychiatric wards, and have taken courses on psychology. I know how it works. Not well enough to be a psychologist or psychiatrist, but enough to know when the assistance of one could be of great benefit. The military doesn't give a shit. They don't have time, and the job is far too hazardous to take risks with people who say something that brings into question their dedication or trustworthyness. He needs to sort himself out before thinking about such a path. I'm not saying it's necessarily a bad path, but he won't make it the way he's looking at himself right now.

The military is not GI Joe. 90% and rising are support troops for combat troops. The military will take reasonably warm bodies and put the losers in nuisance jobs where they do not carry guns. Someone has to guard prisoners and the guards only carry batons. Think about the Abu Graib pictures. Do you think quality soldiers would have been assigned prison guard duties?

This is not to denigrate the 90% but to say there is a 10% of that 90% that are warm bodies to do jobs of the lowest priority but has to be done by the military. Like civilians the military needs people to do jobs no one wants to do. Everyone can do something useful except those who have no desire to be useful and useless gets attention.

The military is a legitimate option regardless. They have aptitude tests and training that may not be great but they have been good enough since WWII. I had a loser uncle who was offered jail or enlist. He retired with an armful of sargeant stripes and half his career teaching his radar specialty.

All that said, it sort of appears to me the OP resulted in the desired attention and no amount of attention is sufficient for those who seek it. Forget the cry for help crap. It is a cry for attention. the need for attention comes from not reconciling the self-centered world of the child with the other centered world of an adult. The rules changed and they do not like it. Does the refusal to say no to traveling with mother need further evidence?

If you are going to suicide could you at least do it outside where the clean up is easier and we can just hose down the blood? 

The answer to that question is whether or not it is a personal choice or an excuse for interaction.

 

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Watcher wrote:Well since I

Watcher wrote:

Well since I was in the American military, I think I have somewhat of a tiny bit of experience with the military in this country.   As long as he kept his trap shut, no one would give a fuck.

We had a guy commit suicide on one of my deployments.   Nothing easier than killing yourself by jumping off of a carrier in the middle of the ocean.

I knew a lot of people that exhibited suicidal tendencies in the six years I spent serving.

Those tendencies most often formed after training, when they were already brainwashed into the military mind set. The sailor you mention is a clear example.
There's a significant difference between a suicidal serviceman and civillian.
I too have ties to the military, so your "expertise" doesn't impress. The recruiting officers I've known would tell this guy to go away. The military doesn't want people who are at risk of risking the assets of the military.

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Quote:Those tendencies most

Quote:
Those tendencies most often formed after training, when they were already brainwashed into the military mind set. The sailor you mention is a clear example. There's a significant difference between a suicidal serviceman and civillian. I too have ties to the military, so your "expertise" doesn't impress. The recruiting officers I've known would tell this guy to go away. The military doesn't want people who are at risk of risking the assets of the military.

 

You have "ties" to the military?

Did your great, great, great, great, grand cousin on your mother's side fight in the war of 1812?

Did you personally ever serve in any military?

If you did not you can't say shit to me about this matter.

I put forth the tentative theory that someone who served in the military knows a tiny bit more about the military, and especially the military in this country, than someone in another country who is a pacifist non-national, and you try to dismiss that by saying you have "ties"?   What a joke.

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And let me tell you about

And let me tell you about "Irvin".   That was his name.   He was an officer that I served along side for over three years.

He fucked around on his wife with some dog ugly chick on our ship, so he went to Captain's Mast(you'd have to look up that term because you don't know what that means), and got sent to the carrier in our fleet during our deployment.   His wife was British, and was notified, so she took herself and their two little girls back to England.

So he jumped.

Right after we got out of the Suez canal going into the Med.

We looked for him for three days.

I found one of his loafers.  It was floating on top of the water like someone polished it and then laid it down neatly on top of the water.   Not a drop of liquid inside of it.

The Egyptians found him washed up on their shores six days after he jumped.

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1: I dunno. Maybe. 2: Nope.

1: I dunno. Maybe.

2: Nope.

3: I most certainly can. I've lived with servicemen and worked with them very closely.

And I'm not a pacifist.

I will however grant the possibility that the US military hasn't got an intelligent strategy of recruitment. I already know Canadian training is superior, so it wouldn't be a stretch to take that extra step.

I can tell you that no soldier with suicidal tendencies would be recruited to join our military.

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Vastet wrote: I already know

Vastet wrote:
I already know Canadian training is superior, so it wouldn't be a stretch to take that extra step. I can tell you that no soldier with suicidal tendencies would be recruited to join our military.

That's funny because I know several Canadians that joined the US military because the Canadian military was so pathetic.   Puerto Ricans and Canadians were the two huge minorities in the American military that weren't born in America.

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Says you. More likely they

Says you. More likely they joined for the toys.

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Vastet wrote:Says you.Weak

Vastet wrote:
Says you.

Weak.  So that's the end of the conversation, eh?   You know some people in the military so you know as much as, if not more than, someone in the military.

That's called arrogance.   Huge stumbling block.

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Vastet wrote:Says you.Weak

Double post.


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Watcher wrote:Weak. No

Watcher wrote:
Weak.

No weaker than your own statement. Unless you'd care to share some testimonials?
Didn't think so.

Watcher wrote:
So that's the end of the conversation, eh? You know some people in the military so you know as much as, if not more than, someone in the military. That's called arrogance. Huge stumbling block.

And your assumption that I know nothing about the military is equally arrogant. Pot, meet kettle.

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Some testimonials?  Sure. 

Some testimonials?  Sure.  I served in the US military for 6 years.    Let's go.   What do you want to know about the US military?   You share your story about being in the military and I will respond with my own.

You wouldn't know, because you aren't a veteran of any military, and definetly not the American military.   I am.

I stand by my statement that you are being arrogant.

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Uh uh, you're neither

Uh uh, you're neither Canadian nor Puerto Rican. Unless you've been hiding it all this time? Eye-wink

I stand by my statement that you are being at least as arrogant as myself, if not more so. One doesn't need to be a biologist to know a fair bit about evolution. One doesn't need to be a parent in order to take care of children.

And one doesn't need to have served in the military to know how it functions.

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I'd edit but I suspect

I'd edit but I suspect you're posting right now, so I'll just type up a new response.

I'm not really interested in Puerto Rican testimonials that confirm your allegations, because I don't disbelieve that claim. But you will have to substantiate the suggestion that Canadians join your military because ours is a joke. Because that suggestion is the real joke.

Most times a Canadian joins the US military it is to either play with the billion dollar toys or to see action (because we rarely go to war, and you often go to war).

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I'm always arrogant. 

I'm always arrogant.  Sticking out tongue

Vastet wrote:
I'd edit but I suspect you're posting right now, so I'll just type up a new response. I'm not really interested in Puerto Rican testimonials that confirm your allegations, because I don't disbelieve that claim. But you will have to substantiate the suggestion that Canadians join your military because ours is a joke. Because that suggestion is the real joke. Most times a Canadian joins the US military it is to either play with the billion dollar toys or to see action (because we rarely go to war, and you often go to war).

Ok, I'll qualify why I made the statement about Canada having a joke of a military.   Don't get me wrong, Canadians were amazing during WWII, a huge asset and nothing to be ashamed about.   Awesome soldiers.

I made that statement because I had two Canadians in my boot camp division.   One just to broaden his career oportunities.   The other, to be on a sub.   That was his only reason for joining the American military.

When he found out that a) you had to be male b) you had to be under 25 when you first went into submarine service c) you had to be able to pop you ears AAAAAND d) you had to be born in America he went AWOL.

America has an insane military.   22 carriers on the planet, half of them are American.    Our military is just hugantically bloated and pandered to.   Canada doesn't have any subs apparently?   I wouldn't know.   But I do know a decent percentage of the American military is Canadian by birth.   Americans haven't joined the Canadian military since right before and up to Pearl Harbor.

So I am forced to assume, if you want to be in a real military, and you are Canadian, you cross the border down South.

I even talked to British sailors and they were in awe of our carriers.   This was back when they still had one.   They don't any longer.   They said our carriers made theirs look like toys.

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Vastet wrote:I'd edit but I

Vastet wrote:
I'd edit but I suspect you're posting right now, so I'll just type up a new response.

And no, I wasn't posting last night.   My wife and I stayed up all night molesting each other.   So I was...ok I was majorly distracted.  rawr.

Shit, I've had less than two hours of sleep.   I'm so tired.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci