A Liberal-muslim-homosexual-ACLU-lawyer-prof-and-abortion-doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx..

Cpt_pineapple
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A Liberal-muslim-homosexual-ACLU-lawyer-prof-and-abortion-doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx..

"Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL Champion who had served 1500 tours of duty, and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States, stood up and held a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The arrogant professor smirked quite and smugly replied, "4.6 billion years you stupid Christian."

"Wrong. It's been 6,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old, and evolution — as you say — is real, then it should be an animal now."

The professor was visibly shaken, dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species, and stormed out of the room crying liberal crocodile tears.

The students applauded and all registered Republican on that day. An Eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag, shedding a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and Herman Cain showed up to enact a flat tax rate across the country.

The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all of eternity.

 

Semper Fi

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Atheistextremist
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Yes well

 

 

sadly this is so close to the truth it nearly proves a lateral extension of Poe's Law. 

I thought you could have mentioned the evil greenie bastard hugging a tree or buying a solar panel or something but what the hey.

My mother believes that atheists say life came from rocks. It's a curious thing. 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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Where did you get this crap?

Where did you get this crap?

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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"Before the class begins,

"Before the class begins, you must get off your knees and stop worshiping jesus and accept that he is only a mythological character created to full fill a jewish prophecy."

At this moment, a delusional, mentally unstable navy seal zombie who had served 4 tours of active combat duty, watched his buddies be blown to tiny little pieces and did not understand the reason for of war, much less why he actually joined the service in his youth, stood up and held a rock.

"How old is this rock?"

The wise professor smiled quietly and replied knowledgeably, "I'll need to test the rock in the lab. Can you wait two weeks for an answer?"

"Wrong answer!", as the SEAL zombie pulled out a Heckler & Koch 
MP7A1 4.6mm assault rifle and several M84 stun grenades and yelled, "God created us all and together we will all die!"

The professor was visibly shaken, dropped his chalk, ran to the door while pulling the "emergency, 911, there is a militant crazed jesus loving, bible carrying nut sack alarm" and told all the students, "Don't excite him! Lay down and play dead while I draw his attention away from you!"

The students listened and pretended to be dead. The crazed navy seal ran after the professor who had already crossed the hallway in to his lab. The navy seal followed, with a customized bible in one hand and weapon in the other, along with a picture of sarah palin strapped to his penis, shooting the american bald eagle out in the hallway, which was being transported to the audubon society for rehabilitation after being previously shot by a NRA supporting, douche bag, big game hunter.

The navy seal ran in to the lab where the professor turned on his non-lethal experiment which he had been developing for the american military. The device disabled the navy seal and the police transported him to the hospital for the mentally ill, where they found a large tumor in his brain which was caused by chemicals used in during the war in iraq and afghanistan, which was originally made in mexico by slave labor because the american manufacture wasn't allowed to use the chemical here in the united states because it was carcinogenic and the by-product was dumped in the river in this small mexican town where all the inhabitants had 1000% likely-hood of dying from strange and rare diseases and their babies were born deformed.

The professor received several awards and was given the nobel prize for his non-lethal weapon, which he then gave the 1.4 million dollar award to charity to educate young adults and children in third world countries not to do drugs or to have unprotected sex.

 

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

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lmfao

lmfao

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True Story

True Story


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Tapey wrote:True StorySo

Tapey wrote:

True Story

So totally true...


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Cpt_pineapple wrote: At this

Cpt_pineapple wrote:


At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL Champion who had served 1500 tours of duty, and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States, stood up and held a rock.

I have a problem with 1500 tours of duty. That's like 400+ years worth of time and grade, making your "navy seal" like 425+ years old.

Oh, I forgot the rock is 6,000 years old so that means counting time/years is like totally fucked up.

 

Every thing else is like... so totally real I am having flashbacks.

 

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

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You forget. The first people

You forget. The first people made by superman lived for hundreds of years.

lol

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digitalbeachbum

digitalbeachbum wrote:

Cpt_pineapple wrote:


At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL Champion who had served 1500 tours of duty, and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decisions made by the United States, stood up and held a rock.

I have a problem with 1500 tours of duty. That's like 400+ years worth of time and grade, making your "navy seal" like 425+ years old.

Oh, I forgot the rock is 6,000 years old so that means counting time/years is like totally fucked up.

 

Every thing else is like... so totally real I am having flashbacks.

 

 

Didn't you read. He is a good god fearing american who trusts his government and is in the military with multiple tours. God rewards those who are faithful.

Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
All animals are equal.


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 I'm confused. Is Capt just

 I'm confused. Is Capt just being funny or is he making this shit up because he's an atheist but a tea party member?

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

-Scott Adams


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El Kapitan

 

digitalbeachbum wrote:

I'm confused. Is Capt just being funny or is he making this shit up because he's an atheist but a tea party member?

 

is a born chain tugger. But this could be ultra dry humour we don't know about. 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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The opening post was satire.

The opening post was satire. The Capt. ain't that crazy. Eye-wink

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 Ah.

 Ah.


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digitalbeachbum wrote: I'm

digitalbeachbum wrote:

 I'm confused. Is Capt just being funny or is he making this shit up because he's an atheist but a tea party member?

 

 

                               SHE.  Alison by name.

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."

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Jeffrick

Jeffrick wrote:

digitalbeachbum wrote:

 I'm confused. Is Capt just being funny or is he making this shit up because he's an atheist but a tea party member?

 

 

                               SHE.  Alison by name.

Ah.

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

-Scott Adams


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Atheistextremist

Atheistextremist wrote:

 

 

sadly this is so close to the truth it nearly proves a lateral extension of Poe's Law. 

I thought you could have mentioned the evil greenie bastard hugging a tree or buying a solar panel or something but what the hey.

My mother believes that atheists say life came from rocks. It's a curious thing. 

"...the suns of fire shall never yield to the sons of clay!" 

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)