Let your hair down thread. What bone headed thing have you done?

Brian37
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Let your hair down thread. What bone headed thing have you done?

I'll start. Twice in two weeks, I lost my debit card. The first time I left it in the ATM and drove off. Lucky enough to get it back without having to cancel the card.

THEN just last night I stopped at the store, took my card out, but noticed I had enough cash to pay for what I bought and left the card there. Went back just now and picked it up.

That is the type of stuff I am talking about here. It could be anything. Like putting your shirt on inside out and going out in public, or putting on non matching socks.

We spend time here on serious subjects and debates. But lets use this thread to confess to our DOH! Moments.

What boneheaded things have you done?

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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I've done plenty of

I've done plenty of boneheaded things, but I generally do my best to forget them so anxiety doesn't follow me everywhere.

I will say, in my experience, it's almost exclusively tied to emotion. When I'm angry I'm not as susceptible for whatever reason, though it still can happen. Interestingly though, my biggest blunders always happen when I'm giddy and excited. Happy to an extreme. It's become such a constant that I now guard myself against that particular state of mind. I even anticipate a crash, which prevents me from being shocked when it happens. And it always happens.

I've seen it reflected in others as well. A young athlete head butts a wall to celebrate his first point in the big leagues and ends up paralysed. An exuberant friend gets himself beaten to death out of mistaken identity (hugged the wrong person at the wrong time and place). And countless other examples.

But that's a bit more serious than you were probably looking for. > >

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This one I did just a few

This one I did just a few weeks ago. I unexpectedly crashed at my girlfriends house and the next morning realized I had left my headlights on all night. No problem, I keep jumper cables in my car for just such an emergency. I jump my car and apparently when I was getting out I locked the doors, so my car is sitting in the driveway running with locked doors and my spare key was sitting in a safe place.....in my house 60 miles away. DOH!

 

 

I just usually go with my own taste. If I like something, and it happens to be against the law, well, then I might have a problem.- Hunter S. Thompson


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Where's my damn keys?

 I was always losing my keys. Years ago in my apartment I had a high back overstuffed sofa. I sat on it one day to put my shoes on and was getting ready to go out. Then I started looking everywhere for my keys. The thing I hate the most I kept looking in the same places over and over. It was getting very angry and cursing. Then all of sudden I hear a clanking of keys. I reached around and found the keys at the top of my pants just along the belt line. It took me a second but then it hit me. Before I sat down I had put the keys on the back of the sofa. While sitting I was leaning over to put my shoes on, they quietly slid down and lodged at the top of my pants. DOH.

These days I have one place I put my keys and 99% of the put them right there. I am not as careful with my cell phone but the good news is I can call it with my lan line. Everything should have that function. Smiling

 

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What boneheaded things have

What boneheaded things have i done recently? I don't know,...Where to begin!

I spilled orange soda all over my couch, Almost caught looking at porn, Nearly busted peeing in the sink, Lost a container i need & use everyday, Left out all my money in the open where anybody could get it(Thank God no one did), Used the phrase thank god just now, Oh, And i accidentally stepped on my dog. It's been a hell of a week!


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Beyond Saving wrote:This one

Beyond Saving wrote:

This one I did just a few weeks ago. I unexpectedly crashed at my girlfriends house and the next morning realized I had left my headlights on all night. No problem, I keep jumper cables in my car for just such an emergency. I jump my car and apparently when I was getting out I locked the doors, so my car is sitting in the driveway running with locked doors and my spare key was sitting in a safe place.....in my house 60 miles away. DOH!

 

I hate you, but I cannot hate you after reading this. I HAVE DONE THAT TOO!

Not the jumping part, or the distance part, just the locked doors with the car running. IF THAT IS NOT A FUCK ME MOMENT, I don't know what is.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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I was in a car port and, for

I was in a car port and, for some stupid ass reason, I must have been in a huge hurry, I forgot that I was pointed forward and backed up into the pole that would be where the front of the car is.  Had it not been there, I would have plowed into the drywall dividing my apartment and the adjacent apartment.  As if that wasn't bad enough, I was using my ex's car.  Double whammy.  

 

Oh, this takes the cake, though; one of those freak accidents that can never be replicated in a million years.

 

I was in my friends car and I was having trouble with one of the buttons on my shirt.  The details are sketchy and I'm not sure what happened next, but somehow the annoying button broke off, went flying to my left and fell right into the small slot where the seat belt buckle clicks into place.  I didn't think it landed there at first; I thought it went into the side of the seat.  Wasn't until I saw the white top of the button that I realized where it was.  Told my friend what happened. he stared blankly, we both "face palmed" and we tried everything from paper clips to tweezers to pry that bastard out.  In the end, it just wouldn't budge; it was stuck in there.  Yeah, having an non-working seat belt; not too smart, but we couldn't do shit about it.  I went home later that night and my friend told me he had to pry the mechanism apart just to remove the button.  

 

He billed me later and we still laugh about it to this day.   

"When the majority believes in what is false, the truth becomes a quest." - Me


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Think about this.

                   I'm hopeless without glasses, I rarely take them off unless I'm in bed. I had a senior moment recently when I took them off in one room then went to the bathroom then forgot where I left the glasses. So I'm fumbleing around the house squinting to the point of a headache, thinking how much easier this would be if I had my glasses on, [think about it] I find the glasses put them on and continue searching for a few more miutes,  it's easier with the glasses on; untill I remember what I was looking for in the first place. I did stop looking,  sometimes the brain just takes a vacation without warning the rest of you.

 

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Everything I do is

Everything I do is boneheaded

 

 


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sdafra

Brian37 wrote:
, or putting on non matching socks

I did that, not much time ago.

I remember also that when I was going to school by bus some people were bothering me, so one time I created... an embarassing situation to make them stop, and it sort of... worked.

Another time always on the bus, but many years before the above episode (I was a kid), I was alone with some grown guys (and one or two girls), and I was sitting next to one of these grown guys, then they start talking between themselves. I don't remember how or why, at some point I tell the guy next to me that, because he's short, he seemed young, and hitted in his masculinity he picks me for the collar. Nothing happened, but it was a tense moment.

Then I remember that one time I cursed (a major one, but I don't know if it's the same in english) behind the religion teacher while going down the stairs of the schools. She looked at me pretty bad, but I did't care because I did not follow religion at school. The fact is the coincidence - I very rarely go blapsheming - of doing it behind exactly the wrong person is irritating. Although it could have been worse.

There may be some other episodes, but I'm a calm guy. Nothing important. Generally it's some social awkwardness.


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 I locked my keys 3 times (

 I locked my keys 3 times ( finally made a spare and hid it bed of my truck) walked into a beam head first into a beam and sliced my hand on a screw that if I wasn't arguing the technical merits of our worn with my business partner I would have seen it. That was Monday, today it's been quiet


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  I had a hard day at work

  I had a hard day at work so I wanted to relax and blow off some steam.  I took my bolt action .308 rifle with me and walked to an overpass to shoot at cars.  When I placed the rifle against  my cheek and peered through the scope I couldn't see a damn thing.  Then I realized that I hadn't first removed the plastic lens covers and that's why I couldn't see through my scope.  Boy did I feel stupid.

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Got off my motorcycle in a fashionable street

 

in one of Sydney's wankerish suburbs in leather jacket and accessories and was so busy planning my next heroic pose that I forgot to put the side stand down. I'll leave the effects of gravity up to your imaginations...

Getting into a dinghy beside a busy boat ramp with my ex-wife and a boat load of sailing gear. I started the engine and through some slip of fingers and cuff, opened the throttle fully, with the engine at right angles to the stern. Any boaties out there will be able to visualise the results. With an attention grabbing engine bellow, we were inverted and soused, surrounded by acres of boat rubbish, to the unbridled delight of the peanut gallery on the wharf. I wish I'd seen it. People were literally falling to the ground laughing. 

On Virgin Gorda in the BVI, I decided to sneak off from Jumbles Bar one balmy evening and take a leak on the beach nearby. Only after I'd written my name in copperplate on the sand, underscored with a drip-shaking flourish and turned to leave did I notice a speechless English family eating their supper about 2 metres away...

Then there was the time that preacher father found a stash of porn in my bedroom at the manse. With 15yo me carpeted in his study surrounded by serried ranks of theologians from Moody and Sankey to Origen to Augustine, Dad crashed a Penthouse Variations repeatedly onto his desk shouting: "These people are sick...sick!" while I giggled like the lunatic. It wasn't the only time he'd thrown the stash away. Each time he took it my brother and I went through the recycling for hours hunting our treasure. 

 

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Quote:Getting into a dinghy

Quote:
Getting into a dinghy beside a busy boat ramp with my ex-wife and a boat load of sailing gear. I started the engine and through some slip of fingers and cuff, opened the throttle fully, with the engine at right angles to the stern. Any boaties out there will be able to visualise the results. With an attention grabbing engine bellow, we were inverted and soused, surrounded by acres of boat rubbish, to the unbridled delight of the peanut gallery on the wharf. I wish I'd seen it. People were literally falling to the ground laughing.

If I am reading your Hitchenesque account here, you accidentally gassed it and flipped the boat?

Ok, I MIGHT be able to top this. Here goes.

I used to know this guy Mike when I lived in the DC area. He was heavy into the DC rock music scene. He was friends with the Ramones whom I got to meet because of such, not the story here though.

Anywho, he takes me to the "9:30" Club, kinda like the Washington DC version of CBGBs.

So he had been hyping all week this band "Living Colour". I went and they all came out, and played and I was fucking amazed!

But, next morning I get a phone call from Mike. He is pissed as hell at me and shouts "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SAID"(He had taken me back stage to meet them)

I had had much to drink that night and apparently said to Vernon Reed the guitarist "If I had closed my eyes I never would have known you were black"

What I had meant to say looking back at it was "It is nice to see stereotypes broken" But what actually came out deserved an ass kicking. Fortunately for me they took pity on me.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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Brian37 wrote:I had had much

Brian37 wrote:

I had had much to drink that night and apparently said to Vernon Reed the guitarist "If I had closed my eyes I never would have known you were black"

Oh man, that really sucks... Though I imagine the guitarist was more surprised than angry...

 

Cpt_Pineapple wrote:

Everything I do is boneheaded

Ouch, you really shouldn't be so mean to yourself...

 


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Another boneheaded thing I

Another boneheaded thing I did.

I AWAYS look for meat on sale at grocery store. I don't care so much about too much fat or too tough, I like meat. So I often buy the cheap stuff in bulk. I also think it is cheaper to cook on the gas grill which saves on electricity.

So anywho,, I found this monster pack of pork stakes dirt cheap. REALLY REALLY FATTY, but tasty. So they kept that cut of pork stake on sale almost the entire summer.

I happily lit the grill to warm up. came back a couple minutes later after it got up to temp, threw the stakes on and went back inside. BTW, not a good idea to have a grill on a covered porch, but I'll get to that in a sec.

So I went back inside and I don't know what caused me to check them so quickly, but I did. When I went out on the porch I noticed the holes on the side of the grill glowing RED, and right then I knew something was wrong. So being a dumb ass, I opened the lid, which give the flames oxygen and the flames SHOT WITHIN INCHES of the roof of the porch. I ALMOST burned my house down. If I had not gone out as quickly as I did simply to check on them, things might have gotten worse.

SO the flames are almost to the roof, but I did not panic. I closed the lid, turned off the gas and pulled the grill to the open side of my porch, and let the fire burn out.

WELL two things caused it. The fat, and THE BUILD UP over the summer at the bottom of the grill that I never cleaned out. I might as well have lit a gas can on fire.

Now mind you, what would have been horrible is that my mom bought me my house, so having to call her just only a year of living here to say "Hey mom, you know that house you bought me?"

So now when I gill I pull the grill to the open front porch.

 

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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I think I'm generally lucky

I think I'm generally lucky in that I have much more often witnessed others doing boneheaded things than me doing them myself. With me it's simple but still embarrassing things like forgetting a name or saying the wrong thing in front of the wrong people, and nothing that I particularly recall. But the people I've hung out with are a different story.

One of the more memorable comes from the rockies in B.C. There was a ravine carved by a creek, deep and swift, but not so much so to actually call a river. There was a cave just at the spot where the creek turned white-water as it dropped off a cliff where we'd hang and toke. One day one of my buddies decided it'd be a good idea to jump across using the rocks sticking out of the water. No problem, but I already knew it'd be a one way trip. It's one thing to jump a metre downhill. It's quite another to jump a metre uphill. Needless to say, he got soaked, and was damn lucky he didn't go over the edge.

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Brian37 wrote:I'll start.

Brian37 wrote:

I'll start. Twice in two weeks, I lost my debit card. The first time I left it in the ATM and drove off. Lucky enough to get it back without having to cancel the card.

THEN just last night I stopped at the store, took my card out, but noticed I had enough cash to pay for what I bought and left the card there. Went back just now and picked it up.

That is the type of stuff I am talking about here. It could be anything. Like putting your shirt on inside out and going out in public, or putting on non matching socks.

We spend time here on serious subjects and debates. But lets use this thread to confess to our DOH! Moments.

What boneheaded things have you done?

Geez. Where do I begin. There was a while there when we would come back from walks with the dogs and I would leave the keys in the door. I mean, leave them in for several days. We usually use the garage for going to and from the house. What is worse is they weren't just house keys. They had keys for the cars and work on them, as well as my neighbors homes and more.

It took me almost three years to figure out why I was doing so many bonehead things.

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digitalbeachbum wrote: It

digitalbeachbum wrote:

 

It took me almost three years to figure out why I was doing so many bonehead things.

well... why? 

I Am My God

The absence of evidence IS evidence of absence


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 Did a new one this morning

 Did a new one this morning Brian, and this might be the biggest DOH! moment ever. I had a meeting I needed to get to so I didn't have time for my usual pot of coffee. I decided to stop at a gas station and get a cup, not having any cash on me I prepaid for $25 in gas so I wouldn't be running just the dollar and change on my card. I grab my coffee, head out to my car and promptly drive off. About twenty miles later I notice that my gas gauge is slightly under half full... I left $25 in prepaid gas in the pump DOH! Hope whoever pulled up to that pump next really needed it. I am so absent minded someone should just confiscate my drivers license.  

I just usually go with my own taste. If I like something, and it happens to be against the law, well, then I might have a problem.- Hunter S. Thompson


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Beyond Saving wrote: Did a

Beyond Saving wrote:

 Did a new one this morning Brian, and this might be the biggest DOH! moment ever. I had a meeting I needed to get to so I didn't have time for my usual pot of coffee. I decided to stop at a gas station and get a cup, not having any cash on me I prepaid for $25 in gas so I wouldn't be running just the dollar and change on my card. I grab my coffee, head out to my car and promptly drive off. About twenty miles later I notice that my gas gauge is slightly under half full... I left $25 in prepaid gas in the pump DOH! Hope whoever pulled up to that pump next really needed it. I am so absent minded someone should just confiscate my drivers license.  

 

Now really don't feel bad, seriously, AT LEAST YOU PAID. I once, when living in VA made a trip to NC to visit my mother. About half way back I stopped for gas, that was before pre pay. I pumped the gas, went in, paid only for the snacks and drove off. I looked at the money in the passenger's seat, and thought "Hey, I shouldn't have that much left" and it hit me 30 miles later 'HOLY FUCK I DROVE OFF WITHOUT PAYING FOR THE GAS"

I did remember the town and name of the station, but completed my trip and looked up the phone number and asked the clerk "Hey, you remember the guy that drove off in the blue Toyota?" Clerk said "Yea".  "That was me, please allow me to mail you a money order". DOH! You cant get arrested for driving off without the gas you paid for. I would have been fucked if they put out a BOLO on my trip back.

Maybe I can one up you here. Say you meet a chick who looks like Darrel Hannah looking like she did in "Splash". Ok, so I have hard on for this woman, hot as hell.

But let me ask you this, on a first date, do you think it was wise for me to impress her with putting a cigarette out on my tongue? And another question, do you think there was a second date?

 

 

 

 

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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The other day

 The other day I was writing some stuff down in my journal and stuck my pen in my mouth to grab the remote and change the channel. I looked around my desk and could not find my pen. I started looking under things and peering around the floor. My girlfriend asked me " Are you looking for something ?,". I took the pen out of my mouth and said "I am looking for the pen that I was just writing with," stuck it back in my mouth and continued looking. 

A couple of seconds later, I realized what I had done. She said she was about to tell me, but was interested to see how long it would take before I figured it out. 

“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno


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harleysportster wrote: The

harleysportster wrote:

 The other day I was writing some stuff down in my journal and stuck my pen in my mouth to grab the remote and change the channel. I looked around my desk and could not find my pen. I started looking under things and peering around the floor. My girlfriend asked me " Are you looking for something ?,". I took the pen out of my mouth and said "I am looking for the pen that I was just writing with," stuck it back in my mouth and continued looking. 

A couple of seconds later, I realized what I had done. She said she was about to tell me, but was interested to see how long it would take before I figured it out. 

I cant say that I have done that.

But one day I went to my local mall. It had recently, way back then, had just built a new multi level parking deck. I had a 4 pm shift at a 7-11, but wanted to go to the sports card shop, and made the mistake in parking in the new deck. I forgot which level I parked on, it took me 3 hours and passing my car multiple times before I found it. I was an hour late for work. My boss was pissed, but I did not get fired. I was lucky.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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I will often be looking

I will often be looking desperately for something while it is in my hand. :|

Like my phone, which I once ran around my house looking everywhere for while I was holding it and flipping it open and closed. *sigh*

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ThunderJones wrote:I will

ThunderJones wrote:

I will often be looking desperately for something while it is in my hand. :|

Like my phone, which I once ran around my house looking everywhere for while I was holding it and flipping it open and closed. *sigh*

 

                     I do stuff like that all the time.  Freaks me out.

I'm a right wing atheist because I enjoy being hated by everyone.

"When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction." Mark Twain.