Why do married women get pissed off at a husband pleasuring himself than the other way around?

Burnedout
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Why do married women get pissed off at a husband pleasuring himself than the other way around?

Hello everyone,

I was listening to some local talk radio the other day.  There was a topic that came up.  They posed the question for women, would you get angry at your husband or significant other if you came home and found him pleasuring himself?  Why or why not? 

 

They then turned  the question around to the guys and asked them the same thing about their wives or girl friends.

 

The answers were totally opposite.  The women called in and most would get irate where as the guys thought nothing of it. 

 

What do you all say?


Jeffrick
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Well..........

                       If she is pleasuring herself with a dildo; no problem.    If she's pleasuring herself with the guy next door; PROBLEM!  

She probably feels the same about me, but she would never use that dildo again.

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I think it's the male ego.A

I think it's the male ego.

A man is sure his wife only fantasizes about him.

A woman is sure her husband is fantasizing about other women.

 

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I think it's the male ego.A

Double post. Please Delete.


Ktulu
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Jeffrick

Jeffrick wrote:

                       If she is pleasuring herself with a dildo; no problem.    If she's pleasuring herself with the guy next door; PROBLEM!  

She probably feels the same about me, but she would never use that dildo again.

And also never look at the guy next door the same way again Smiling

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Jeffrick wrote: She

Jeffrick wrote:

 

She probably feels the same about me, but she would never use that dildo again.

 


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Burnedout wrote: What do

Burnedout wrote:
 

What do you all say?

Women are weird?

What kind of reasons did they give? 

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


Burnedout
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butterbattle wrote:Burnedout

butterbattle wrote:

Burnedout wrote:
 

What do you all say?

Women are weird?

What kind of reasons did they give? 

A couple of women said...."I SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR HIM!"....."If he has to think about another woman there is a problem." 

 

As for women being weird.....funny you mention that....I just make the assumption that all women are crazy and anything they say and do makes complete and perfect sense....


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It isn't that women are

It isn't that women are weird or men or weird. But that evolution produces a range.

Conflict comes in because most humans are not trained in evolution or human psychology or sexuality. Basically most humans enter a relationship because of what society sells them, or their hormones. BOTH bad reasons.

The key for either the man or the woman isn't to draw lines in the sand about what should or should not be done. The key is to discuss before hand what each other can expect. And then after that conflict resolution skills sort out when a problem arises.

I dated the jealous types. NEVER again. I married a very open minded woman and she didn't care if I looked or even wacked off. Our relationship ended for reasons unrelated to sex. It was her open mindedness that lead me to her, and even when she asked me for a divorce, it was her open mindedness that we are still friends and talk.

She knew the difference between looking and self pleasure and my emotional attraction to her.

It isn't right or wrong because women and men are part of a range in evolution. The key is to know before hand what you are getting into.

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Interesting

 

 

I'm a twice a day man and my ex was once a month, at best, with begging.  In her defense, she did not get annoyed with my self steering. In fact, it was probably a relief to her. 

I'd be cross if some one tried to insist I leave off myself, unless they took complete ownership of me.

A partner who took responsibility for your actual sexuality could be a massive turn-on. And if it was mutual and you were your partner's only means of satisfaction...

Mmmmmm. Think I need to be excused for a few moments...

 

 

 

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Burnedout wrote:A couple of

Burnedout wrote:

A couple of women said...."I SHOULD BE ENOUGH FOR HIM!"....."If he has to think about another woman there is a problem." 

 

As for women being weird.....funny you mention that....I just make the assumption that all women are crazy and anything they say and do makes complete and perfect sense....

Then she should offer to give him a hand- if he says "No leave me alone I'll just take care of it myself" I could understand feeling slighted. Personally, I can't stand the possessive mentality that the vast majority of Americans (male and female) have towards their significant others. To believe that your partner is never going to have fantasies/desires about anyone else is egotistical and absurd. To deny them the opportunity to live those fantasies from time to time is selfish and cruel.

 

As far as most men not caring if their partner masturbates, well women who masturbate often want sex more often (and IME better sex) than women who rarely or never masturbate. Which means those guys are getting laid more, so why would they care?


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There is something that most

There is something that most women don't get, they get it intellectually but not any real understanding, men HAVE to ejaculate, it is a human need like eating, drinking, urinating, etc.  There are only two ways to do it.  Having sex or mastrubating.  No other way to do so.  If there is neither, over time, for most men, it can become painful.  Also, there is a whole emotional/psychological element beyond the physical tied to it as well.  Part of why a man would even agree to not go after every woman that walks is because he agreed to marry a woman, for his side of the marriage is to have a WILLING sex partner.  If the WILLING part goes, he will often cheat. 

I don't often agree with Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but I do have to admit, she has hit it on the head with male sexuality.  She will often chide, even scold women who refuse to have sex with their spouse for no good reason.  She even puts the majority of the blame on men's cheating on the woman (not saying men are blameless).  I can say she is right.  If any women want to become irate with me, just ask a man without going bonkers and being pissed off, especially a man who is married and been married for more than 10 to 15 years. 


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...

Burnedout wrote:

I don't often agree with Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but I do have to admit, she has hit it on the head with male sexuality.  She will often chide, even scold women who refuse to have sex with their spouse for no good reason.  She even puts the majority of the blame on men's cheating on the woman (not saying men are blameless).  I can say she is right.   

I'm with Dr. Laura on this one too.  Men have to get off.  It must be the testosterone...

I've heard people say that women have as high of a sex drive as men, but the majority of porn and prostitution is consumed by men.  There might be sociological reasons, but I'm going with biology.  Men have higher testosterone.

And you're right, men aren't blameless for cheating.  A man might have a hot woman who puts out whenever he needs it, but he might stray with an even hotter hottie.

 


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Philosophicus wrote:I'm with

Philosophicus wrote:

I'm with Dr. Laura on this one too.  Men have to get off.  It must be the testosterone...

I've heard people say that women have as high of a sex drive as men, but the majority of porn and prostitution is consumed by men.  There might be sociological reasons, but I'm going with biology.  Men have higher testosterone.

And you're right, men aren't blameless for cheating.  A man might have a hot woman who puts out whenever he needs it, but he might stray with an even hotter hottie. 

I think it is more of an individual thing.  Some individuals are more sexual then others.  I think the rest comes from social pressure, a guy that has a lot of sexual partners is a stud, a gal in the same situation is a slut.  While some physiological changes around childbirth is undisputed, and hormonal balances do work differently, I believe the biggest reason for the high discrepancy in sexual drive is psychological.  I remember before my twenties, the biggest roadblock in having sex with a "decent" girl was reputation.  There were those that didn't care, and that's what made my teen years fun Smiling

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Philosophicus

Philosophicus wrote:

Burnedout wrote:

I don't often agree with Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but I do have to admit, she has hit it on the head with male sexuality.  She will often chide, even scold women who refuse to have sex with their spouse for no good reason.  She even puts the majority of the blame on men's cheating on the woman (not saying men are blameless).  I can say she is right.   

I'm with Dr. Laura on this one too.  Men have to get off.  It must be the testosterone...

I've heard people say that women have as high of a sex drive as men, but the majority of porn and prostitution is consumed by men.  There might be sociological reasons, but I'm going with biology.  Men have higher testosterone.

And you're right, men aren't blameless for cheating.  A man might have a hot woman who puts out whenever he needs it, but he might stray with an even hotter hottie.

 

That doesn't explain Tiger Woods or Hugh Grant to name a few who had extreme hotties but definately dallied with inferior product.  Now whose to say how active their marital sex lives were but just on the surface these two men didn't upgrade.

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devilsadvoc8

devilsadvoc8 wrote:

Philosophicus wrote:

Burnedout wrote:

I don't often agree with Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but I do have to admit, she has hit it on the head with male sexuality.  She will often chide, even scold women who refuse to have sex with their spouse for no good reason.  She even puts the majority of the blame on men's cheating on the woman (not saying men are blameless).  I can say she is right.   

I'm with Dr. Laura on this one too.  Men have to get off.  It must be the testosterone...

I've heard people say that women have as high of a sex drive as men, but the majority of porn and prostitution is consumed by men.  There might be sociological reasons, but I'm going with biology.  Men have higher testosterone.

And you're right, men aren't blameless for cheating.  A man might have a hot woman who puts out whenever he needs it, but he might stray with an even hotter hottie.

 

That doesn't explain Tiger Woods or Hugh Grant to name a few who had extreme hotties but definately dallied with inferior product.  Now whose to say how active their marital sex lives were but just on the surface these two men didn't upgrade.

 

I am not saying there is not some just plain ego in this because there is, BUT...I can say for a fact that I have been in a situation where my wife  had some health issues that drastically affected her ability and desire to have sex (it is MUCH better now), but I had gone for several months, almost a year.  I can say that, even with mastrubation, every halfway good looking female was looking REAAAAALY good. 


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Ktulu wrote:

"... a guy that has a lot of sexual partners is a stud, a gal in the same situation is a slut."

Good point.  Why do you think that is?  Maybe it's because male sexual jealousy is worse than women's, and men are more possessive of potential mates.  Or maybe it has to do with females competing with each other; but wouldn't men be more competitive with each other? 


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devilsadvoc8 wrote:

Philosophicus wrote:

Burnedout wrote:

I don't often agree with Dr. Laura Schlessinger, but I do have to admit, she has hit it on the head with male sexuality.  She will often chide, even scold women who refuse to have sex with their spouse for no good reason.  She even puts the majority of the blame on men's cheating on the woman (not saying men are blameless).  I can say she is right.   

I'm with Dr. Laura on this one too.  Men have to get off.  It must be the testosterone...

I've heard people say that women have as high of a sex drive as men, but the majority of porn and prostitution is consumed by men.  There might be sociological reasons, but I'm going with biology.  Men have higher testosterone.

And you're right, men aren't blameless for cheating.  A man might have a hot woman who puts out whenever he needs it, but he might stray with an even hotter hottie. 

That doesn't explain Tiger Woods or Hugh Grant to name a few who had extreme hotties but definately dallied with inferior product.  Now whose to say how active their marital sex lives were but just on the surface these two men didn't upgrade.

That's true.  Men often cheat on a hottie to bang an ugly chick even though their hottie is putting out -- but that means that she was hot enough to bang!  But that's how men are.  It's natural for men to want multiple sexual partners while they're in a relationship.

 


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If a girl said to me "I

If a girl said to me "I should be enough for you", my response would be "Then where the fuck were you?".

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Saw this thread and made me

Saw this thread and made me think of this joke I saw online:

 

I was blow drying my penis the other day and my girlfriend walked in on me.  I guess "I was just heating up your dinner" wasn't the best thing to say. 

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Burnedout wrote:Hello

Burnedout wrote:

Hello everyone,

I was listening to some local talk radio the other day.  There was a topic that came up.  They posed the question for women, would you get angry at your husband or significant other if you came home and found him pleasuring himself?  Why or why not? 

They then turned  the question around to the guys and asked them the same thing about their wives or girl friends.

The answers were totally opposite.  The women called in and most would get irate where as the guys thought nothing of it. 

What do you all say?

Depending on the talk show and who was listening/who called in, would determine the group replies you heard. I suspect in a talk radio show they might have had five callers. If it was a conservative, bible talk radio vs. NPR, you would have different replies.

I've dated all kinds of women and each one was different. Some wanted to talk in order to get stimulated, others wanted to watch, etc.

The callers who said they would be irate sound to have a issues they need to deal with; the guys are the other hand are stimulated by their partner having sex and would enjoy it (most likely wanting to join in) since guys are usually visually stimulated.

 

Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.

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Philosophicus wrote:Ktulu

Philosophicus wrote:

Ktulu wrote:

"... a guy that has a lot of sexual partners is a stud, a gal in the same situation is a slut."

Good point.  Why do you think that is?  Maybe it's because male sexual jealousy is worse than women's, and men are more possessive of potential mates.  Or maybe it has to do with females competing with each other; but wouldn't men be more competitive with each other? 

For me the reason men with many sexual partner are considered a stud, and a women a slut, is fairly obvious.  The first real difference is that men have to work for it.  See, a man is very open with his sexuality in the sense that it is obvious to all he is hunting women all the time.  The man must overcome many obstacles to mate with a lot of partners, he must have a way about him, a confidence, intelligence, wit and charm or something about him it's taken him many years to develop, people respect that.  It is not extremely dificult to get women, but it is still a challenge, men have to rise to that challenge.  So when a man gets laid it's not like he choses to , (he always chooses to, whether he gets too is what counts), it's that he overcame some obstacle and successfully attracted the female.  For a woman it is totally different, most women could be having sex all day from the paperboy in the morning to their neighboor at night, and most guys in between.  It si not a challenge for women at all to attract sexual partners, marriage partners yes but thats a hole diferent thing.  A woman can be having sex whenever she wants, with almost anyone she wants.  So when a woman has sex its like she chooses to, and this nonsense of "she gave it away."   I hate that "she gave it away"  as if the act has no benefit to her or something, its nonsense.  This is really where the problem is that girls "give it away" and guys are in a constant state of giving.  Then what happens is girls seem to expect that other girls aren't giving it away to much, that they are withholding like they should be, and when they dont' they are called sluts, by women mostly not men.  Guys barely use those terms for women, usually only in the casual sense unless we are talking about a true true slut which is something very different than what most girl labelled sluts are.

 

 Then their the fact women have rrapped up thei emotons with sex, because of this we have many girls having sex for the wrong reasons, to be excepted, social pressure, insecurity, to just feel wanted, instead of having sex because they are strong confident sexual cfreatures, and having feelings of remorse when they have sex, why, cause they "gave it up?".   It's actually quite interesting watchng the way women are, especially younger women.  Lets say new girl is introduced to group, she's a little quiet at first, you can tell she's reserved but not entirely.  She has a few drinks and starts to let loose, flirts with some of the guys, and ends up with one for the night.  The girls that are gropup standards will snark at this girl, call her a slut to eachother, "remember hat hor bag that came over and fu**ked mike."  This is how women talk to eachother about other women, noit how men talk to eachother.  Mike would say "that girl was fun, a little needy maybe, but fun."  It's really women who fuck women up, make them feel horrible for their sexual decisions, men don't think like that.

Men will only seriously call a girl a slut if she is a true slut, and their are very very few of these girls.  A true slut is a girl that really does have sex with anyone, and it's almost always for the wrong reasons.  We all know these girls theirs one in every group, they do it for attention, they follow guys around  like puppy dogs everywhere, they'll do anythin for them, and could never be trusted as a girlfriend. These girls guys will warn eachother about, (or point out haha) but for the most part it doesn't need being said most guys can spot these girls from a far.    The last thing that a strong confident sexual women is is a slut, but that is what women will call her, not men.