...and that, as they say, is that.

Sage_Override
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...and that, as they say, is that.

My 2nd longest relationship ended earlier.  I'm not going to bore everyone with the details, but we decided to take a break last week to sort out our problems so that we could strengthen our relationship so that there would be some semblance of balance and stability for the future.  Even though she was kind of reluctant at first, she knew it was what was best.  I think this was a clear cut case of her having stronger feelings for me than I did for her, but I still helped her out whenever she needed my advice or any type of comforting.  The problem is it became like I was more of her counselor than her boyfriend and that irked me to no end after awhile and rather than staying in a relationship that was rapidly becoming a sinking ship, I made the mature decision to back out for awhile.  My dad visited me this past weekend and she wanted to talk; thought it was just friendly stuff.  I ended up getting sick earlier today and was off and on again sleeping, puking, etc.  My phone was on, but I didn't answer it.  She was trying to call and left this big fucking text about me not "being able to handle her at her worst, I didn't deserve her at her best crap."  Almost every day was her worst.  I don't know, I'm just pretty bummed out that she spazzed the way she did.  I made a lot of uncomfortable compromises that I have to revert back from and that's never easy.  I'm just glad I didn't go deeper into the rabbit hole than I did.

 

Anyway, guess I just wanted to blow off some steam...

"When the majority believes in what is false, the truth becomes a quest." - Me


iwbiek
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been there, done that,

been there, done that, though probably not for as long as you did.  you just gotta cut off all contact, at least for a few months, maybe permanently.  a person who is emotionally unstable and clingy will try anything they can--guilt trips, threats, invitations for purely casual talks, etc.--to keep the relationship open-ended.  the girl i'm thinking of kept acting like i wasn't clear enough or something: "so what you're saying is, we're done?"  "YES!  that's exactly what i'm saying!"  "so you don't want anything else to do with me?"  "GAAAAHHH!!!"  then two days later, i would get a text that said something like, "hey babe, what's up?"

i just ignored her completely on every social utility (it was before facebook, which i don't use anyway) until she finally stopped after a few weeks.  lucky for me it was a long-distance thing.  she lived in the next state, she only ever met me at my college and had no idea where my folks lived, and i moved overseas soon after, so i never had to worry about her showing up at my door.  i imagine yours will be much trickier.

"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen


redneF
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Sage_Override wrote: She

Sage_Override wrote:
 She was trying to call and left this big fucking text about me not "being able to handle her at her worst, I didn't deserve her at her best crap." 

Sounds like she's using the same press agent that Lorena Bobbit was...

If she likes the sound of that line, tell her to lead with it in her Internet dating profile.

Sage_Override wrote:
Almost every day was her worst. 

And you were with her despite it.

IOW, her 'best' qualities were her saving grace.

 

I think most of us have all 'Been there, done that...'

 

She's hoping you come to 'her' senses, not 'your senses'.

When someone is good, they can't beat people off with a stick.

 

Without getting into a long story, you have to realize that what you'd really like is someone with her 'best' qualities, and someone with 'better' than her 'worst qualities'.

Those kind of women are in abundance. Half of marriages fail. The market is always becoming replenished.

It's just a numbers game.

 

Sage_Override wrote:
  Anyway, guess I just wanted to blow off some steam...

It's ok. That's normal.

The day will come when it becomes a distant memory...

 

 

I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks

" Only on the subject of God can smart people still imagine that they reap the fruits of human intelligence even as they plow them under." : Sam Harris


Sage_Override
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Quote:And you were with her

Quote:

And you were with her despite it.

IOW, her 'best' qualities were her saving grace.

 

Yeah, her best qualities were what I was attracted to.  I think my 2nd relationship had positive aspects that lacked in my 1st one, but in terms of emotional roller coasters and mental problems, the 1st relationship was much MUCH easier to deal with and I didn't feel like I was having her lay on a couch and have her tell me her problems while I took observations down on my notepad.  Bottom line, more freedom and laid back with the 2nd, less freedom and more uptight/irritability with the 1st.  Have to find that balance...

"When the majority believes in what is false, the truth becomes a quest." - Me