...and that, as they say, is that.
Offline My 2nd longest relationship ended earlier. I'm not going to bore everyone with the details, but we decided to take a break last week to sort out our problems so that we could strengthen our relationship so that there would be some semblance of balance and stability for the future. Even though she was kind of reluctant at first, she knew it was what was best. I think this was a clear cut case of her having stronger feelings for me than I did for her, but I still helped her out whenever she needed my advice or any type of comforting. The problem is it became like I was more of her counselor than her boyfriend and that irked me to no end after awhile and rather than staying in a relationship that was rapidly becoming a sinking ship, I made the mature decision to back out for awhile. My dad visited me this past weekend and she wanted to talk; thought it was just friendly stuff. I ended up getting sick earlier today and was off and on again sleeping, puking, etc. My phone was on, but I didn't answer it. She was trying to call and left this big fucking text about me not "being able to handle her at her worst, I didn't deserve her at her best crap." Almost every day was her worst. I don't know, I'm just pretty bummed out that she spazzed the way she did. I made a lot of uncomfortable compromises that I have to revert back from and that's never easy. I'm just glad I didn't go deeper into the rabbit hole than I did.
Anyway, guess I just wanted to blow off some steam...
- Login to post comments
been there, done that, though probably not for as long as you did. you just gotta cut off all contact, at least for a few months, maybe permanently. a person who is emotionally unstable and clingy will try anything they can--guilt trips, threats, invitations for purely casual talks, etc.--to keep the relationship open-ended. the girl i'm thinking of kept acting like i wasn't clear enough or something: "so what you're saying is, we're done?" "YES! that's exactly what i'm saying!" "so you don't want anything else to do with me?" "GAAAAHHH!!!" then two days later, i would get a text that said something like, "hey babe, what's up?"
i just ignored her completely on every social utility (it was before facebook, which i don't use anyway) until she finally stopped after a few weeks. lucky for me it was a long-distance thing. she lived in the next state, she only ever met me at my college and had no idea where my folks lived, and i moved overseas soon after, so i never had to worry about her showing up at my door. i imagine yours will be much trickier.
"I have never felt comfortable around people who talk about their feelings for Jesus, or any other deity for that matter, because they are usually none too bright. . . . Or maybe 'stupid' is a better way of saying it; but I have never seen much point in getting heavy with either stupid people or Jesus freaks, just as long as they don't bother me. In a world as weird and cruel as this one we have made for ourselves, I figure anybody who can find peace and personal happiness without ripping off somebody else deserves to be left alone. They will not inherit the earth, but then neither will I. . . . And I have learned to live, as it were, with the idea that I will never find peace and happiness, either. But as long as I know there's a pretty good chance I can get my hands on either one of them every once in a while, I do the best I can between high spots."
--Hunter S. Thompson
Sounds like she's using the same press agent that Lorena Bobbit was...
If she likes the sound of that line, tell her to lead with it in her Internet dating profile.
And you were with her despite it.
IOW, her 'best' qualities were her saving grace.
I think most of us have all 'Been there, done that...'
She's hoping you come to 'her' senses, not 'your senses'.
When someone is good, they can't beat people off with a stick.
Without getting into a long story, you have to realize that what you'd really like is someone with her 'best' qualities, and someone with 'better' than her 'worst qualities'.
Those kind of women are in abundance. Half of marriages fail. The market is always becoming replenished.
It's just a numbers game.
It's ok. That's normal.
The day will come when it becomes a distant memory...
I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."
"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks
" Only on the subject of God can smart people still imagine that they reap the fruits of human intelligence even as they plow them under." : Sam Harris
Yeah, her best qualities were what I was attracted to. I think my 2nd relationship had positive aspects that lacked in my 1st one, but in terms of emotional roller coasters and mental problems, the 1st relationship was much MUCH easier to deal with and I didn't feel like I was having her lay on a couch and have her tell me her problems while I took observations down on my notepad. Bottom line, more freedom and laid back with the 2nd, less freedom and more uptight/irritability with the 1st. Have to find that balance...