HELP ME!!!

Honey Badger
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HELP ME!!!

I'm scared.  A priest offered to pray for me the other day, and now all kinds of good things keep happening to me.  I don't know what to do.  I got a bonus at my job, my dick got longer, and when I walked to my car this morning there were 2 white doves sitting on my car.  FREAKING DOVES!  I don't know what is going to happen next.  I'm hoping for a threesome with two smoking hot lesbians, or the publishers clearing house to show up.  Anyway, please let me know if you have any suggestions for how I can fix this.  It's just too much. 

 

I'm affraid, plese help.


luca
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I don't know much about this

I don't know much about this argument because of my... lack of experience, but I doubt 2 lesbs would care about you. That your penis got longer... it happens, you just have to think intensely and it does all the work.

I don't know what doves is. For anything else... ask jake Computer


Vastet
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Buy a lotto ticket and send

Buy a lotto ticket and send me the winnings. Just do it in Canada so there'll be no taxes. Smiling

Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.


Beyond Saving
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 Use your raise to hire two

 Use your raise to hire two smoking hot lesbians for the night. If your raise wasn't large enough to cover the costs for a full night, file a complaint with god's secretary, I'm sure he will get right on that for you.

If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X


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Honey Badger wrote:I'm

Honey Badger wrote:

I'm scared.  A priest offered to pray for me the other day, and now all kinds of good things keep happening to me.  I don't know what to do.  I got a bonus at my job, my dick got longer, and when I walked to my car this morning there were 2 white doves sitting on my car.  FREAKING DOVES!  I don't know what is going to happen next.  I'm hoping for a threesome with two smoking hot lesbians, or the publishers clearing house to show up.  Anyway, please let me know if you have any suggestions for how I can fix this.  It's just too much. 

 

I'm affraid, plese help.

Don't be scared, I prayed to Joe Pesci for you.


Answers in Gene...
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Would you like a pamphlet? 

Would you like a pamphlet?  It will surely help with your problem:

 

http://www.normalbobsmith.com/free/flyers/cbf.html

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=


Wonderist
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But if Joe Pesci can't take

But if Joe Pesci can't take care of it for you, then you know you're in serious trouble.


ex-minister
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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

Would you like a pamphlet?  It will surely help with your problem:

 

http://www.normalbobsmith.com/free/flyers/cbf.html

 

now that was entertaining.

I love the A Man Named Jesus pamphlet.

 

 

So there are some broken links. Looks like the last thing updated was 2008. I wonder if it is no longer active and purchasing something would be pointless.

 

 

 

Religion Kills !!!

Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/


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He is still around.  He was

He is still around.  He was at the last comic con and there are some videos on youtube of him interviewing the wall st. protesters.

 

Here is another good one from him:

 

Play darts with Jesus

 

http://www.normalbobsmith.com/flash_jesus/flash_jesus.htm

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=


luca
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the force

Hey, this is like "find the intruder":

 


Kapkao
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Vastet wrote:Buy a lotto

Vastet wrote:
Buy a lotto ticket and send me the winnings. Just do it in Canada so there'll be no taxes. Smiling
\

Can I send you the losses for the next 50,000 tickets I buy with no success?

 

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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No, but if you're really

No, but if you're really having that much bad luck I recommend contacting the OP. He seems to be doing all right. Sticking out tongue

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luca wrote:Hey, this is like

luca wrote:

Hey, this is like "find the intruder":

 

I like the Star Wars window, not sure how it fits in to this strip although both are superstitions.

"Mark, John and Luke, the Farce is with you".

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
Check out my poetry here on Rational Responders Like my poetry thread on Facebook under Brian James Rational Poet, @Brianrrs37 on Twitter and my blog at www.brianjamesrationalpoet.blog


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Kapkao wrote:Vastet

Kapkao wrote:

Vastet wrote:
Buy a lotto ticket and send me the winnings. Just do it in Canada so there'll be no taxes. Smiling
\

Can I send you the losses for the next 50,000 tickets I buy with no success? 

 

You should save your dead tickets.  They are receipts for gambling losses and are tax deductible.

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=


redneF
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Honey Badger wrote: I'm

Honey Badger wrote:

 I'm hoping for a threesome with two smoking hot lesbians, or the publishers clearing house to show up.  Anyway, please let me know if you have any suggestions for how I can fix this. 

I don't understand the problem...

Get him to pray for the money.

That way you can pay for the threesome with two smoking hot lesbians anytime you want, duhhh...

Oh, and those people who told you money can't buy love?

They lied...

 

 

 

 

I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks

" Only on the subject of God can smart people still imagine that they reap the fruits of human intelligence even as they plow them under." : Sam Harris