SOOOO glad I found this site...closet Atheist from Texas

ShelleyBelley682
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SOOOO glad I found this site...closet Atheist from Texas

Hello all!

I happened upon the ABC debate between the RRS and Kirk Cameron/Ray Comfort a few weeks ago and I'm so glad I did! It led me to this site and I couldn't be happier. I am a closet Atheist living in East Texas and between my family and friends, there is only one person I've "came out" to. I'm curious how many people have found themselves in this situation. I love my family dearly, and while they aren't church goers every Sunday, it would devistate them to know I don't believe in god, especially my Dad. I have a hard time biting my tongue when religion is brought up, but at the same time, I don't want them to know my true feelings because I know how it would end - badly. Living in this part of Texas is extremely difficult because most people are right wing, Jesus loving, Fox News watching homophobes. I find myself not only disagreeing with people on the subject of religion, but politics as well. I'm so sorry this turned into my sob story, but I really was curious how people dealt with telling their religious family members/friends.

 

 

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens


Jeffrick
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Welcome.

 

 

 

                            You will find other Texans on this site plus other 'bible belt' atheist; so don't feel alone ; EVER.  I'm in Canada myself.  You might want to check out the podcast "The Atheist Experience" they are based in Austin. See you are not the only Texas Atheist.

 

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ShelleyBelley682 wrote:Hello

ShelleyBelley682 wrote:

Hello all!

I happened upon the ABC debate between the RRS and Kirk Cameron/Ray Comfort a few weeks ago and I'm so glad I did! It led me to this site and I couldn't be happier. I am a closet Atheist living in East Texas and between my family and friends, there is only one person I've "came out" to. I'm curious how many people have found themselves in this situation. I love my family dearly, and while they aren't church goers every Sunday, it would devistate them to know I don't believe in god, especially my Dad. I have a hard time biting my tongue when religion is brought up, but at the same time, I don't want them to know my true feelings because I know how it would end - badly. Living in this part of Texas is extremely difficult because most people are right wing, Jesus loving, Fox News watching homophobes. I find myself not only disagreeing with people on the subject of religion, but politics as well. I'm so sorry this turned into my sob story, but I really was curious how people dealt with telling their religious family members/friends.

 

 

I am lucky in that my mother accepts me, although she thought it was a "phase" when I first told her. She now wants to meet Bob and John, who live far away, and because they are my friends she sees them as family, but she is still Catholic.

Having said that, I still feel like I am on an Island in North Carolina. My co-workers are all believers to some degree. Outside the internet I do not get contact with atheists. But for the most part I do not get treated with a third eye outside the issue of my atheism by my co-workers. If my co-workers get pissed at me, it has to do with me being a prick, and nothing to do with my work ethic or my atheism. They see me as a good guy although they may never understand why I don't buy their superstition.

I think the internet to borrow a coined phrase "Arab spring" is a "spring" for humanity in general. The internet has been a great benefit to humanity to make labels and politics and borders secondary to the human condition.

No matter what you endure in your personal life off the computer, you WILL always have an oasis on the net. And don't disown every believer merely because they claim things that make you want to pull your hair out. There are 7 billion humans and we will never always agree. I think the best thing we can do is allow the words to fly and agree that no matter who gets offended, we all agree that being offended is far better than being killed.

 

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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ShelleyBelley682
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 Thank you both so much!

 Thank you both so much! The net has definitely been a valuable resource for me, and it is comforting to know I'm not alone. I have no problem with folks having different beliefs/opinions from my own, but it seems that the majority of the people here have the "it's my way or the highway" attitude towards anyone different and who associate non-believers as having no morals. It's just frustrating!

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens


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Welcome

Welcome to the site. I have some of the same issues except more people know I am atheist and I'm sure many suspect it. Now my biggest issue is my Mom. I had some issues a few years ago and my mom made some comment about god helping me though it and I told her point blank I was an Atheist. She would not hear it we were both upset and I relented so we didn't have to talk about it any more and I have never brought it up again. I told my dad and step mom when they asked me to do the blessing at my cousins wedding. I just told my dad I'm an Atheist and I wouldn't do the blessing he said OK but has never said anything about it again. People at work don't know and I don't say anything when religion is discussed. I do not want my non-belief to affect me going out to work.

 

Again welcome there are plenty of people who know your situation here or have lived though it. Plenty of people to talk to and lots of information to be found.

I can explain it to you but I can't understand it for you.

You see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb.


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 Shelley, welcome to the

 Shelley, welcome to the site.  I'm glad you found us, and that still to this day people are finding us because of the debate with Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron on ABC.  This is a link to the official thread from the time of that debate, feel free to rehash anything from it.  I leave our history in tact so you can come back years from now and see it.  And with that in mind hopefully this is now 2021, you have moved out of the house, live with a great friend who likes to mock religion with you, and only see your family on ChristMyAss day. 

I hope you like it here.

 

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Hey, Welcome!

Hey, Welcome!

Hope you find it as rewarding here, ongoing, as your initial impressions suggest.

I never had those problems - my father was sceptical, almost certainly atheist, so although my mother got me to attend Sunday School as a child for a while, she recognized it wasn't working for me, and relented.

Such stories as yours are both sad, that people have to hide their real thoughts from family and friends, and encouraging, that even when raised in that kind of situation, it is still possible to find your way out of the prevailing 'God delusion'.

 

Favorite oxymorons: Gospel Truth, Rational Supernaturalist, Business Ethics, Christian Morality

"Theology is now little more than a branch of human ignorance. Indeed, it is ignorance with wings." - Sam Harris

The path to Truth lies via careful study of reality, not the dreams of our fallible minds - me

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ShelleyBelley682
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Thank you all so much - I

Thank you all so much - I love it here! Fortunately, I do not live with my dad and step-mom. My mom died 4 1/2 years ago, and I think is the only family member I could have told I was Atheist and she wouldn't care less. She was Catholic, but open minded about religion and loved me no matter what. I have a large family and we are all very close, so I couldn't imagine only seeing them on ChristMyAss Day (I love that name, by the way) Religion was always been "white noise" to me, but I just went with the flow and only just recently realized I don't have to believe in god. That's kind of embarrasing to admit, but I finally stopped lying to myself. Again, thank you all so much! Would any of you have any suggested reading I could look into? I've read The God Delusion and God Is Not Great, both of which I loved. I'm about to begin Breaking The Spell and The End of Faith. Maybe some books I could share with my religious family members to explain,perhaps  better than I could, why I think god and religion are crap.

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens


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 I bid you welcome 

 I bid you welcome

 

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin


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 Welcome to the forum. I

 Welcome to the forum. I never really had much problem regarding my atheism with my family, but I guess that is the benefit of of living 700+ miles away. My brother is a missionary living down by the Mexican border so he tries to "save" me every time I see him. 

It was morality that burned the books of the ancient sages, and morality that halted the free inquiry of the Golden Age and substituted for it the credulous imbecility of the Age of Faith. It was a fixed moral code and a fixed theology which robbed the human race of a thousand years by wasting them upon alchemy, heretic-burning, witchcraft and sacerdotalism.-H.L. Mencken


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ȣ

Welcome ShelleyBelley682, I think the main problem for you now would be to avoid that these opposing views about religion create a situation where you don't like to speak to your friends/family, because if you talk to them the argument may come up.

Also I'm sorry but your avatar has been used from deludedgod (99% similar) before you, and I'd like to think that it represents him, although it may be that he will not come here anymore. I mean I have absolutely no powers about anything, and I'm the only one who apparently is touched by the subject, but still... I may try to search for better words, fact is I don't like seeing it on someone who is not deludegod.


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luca wrote:Welcome

luca wrote:

Welcome ShelleyBelley682, I think the main problem for you now would be to avoid that these opposing views about religion create a situation where you don't like to speak to your friends/family, because if you talk to them the argument may come up.

Also I'm sorry but your avatar has been used from deludedgod (99% similar) before you, and I'd like to think that it represents him, although it may be that he will not come here anymore. I mean I have absolutely no powers about anything, and I'm the only one who apparently is touched by the subject, but still... I may try to search for better words, fact is I don't like seeing it on someone who is not deludegod.

 

Thank you for the welcome luca. I do tend to avoid religious conversations with family/friends because I don't want them to find out I'm an Atheist in the heat of an argument. I do realize I will have to tell them one day. For example, when I get married, I do not want to be married in a church and when I'm dead I do not want a religious funeral. I guess I'm searching for a "perfect" scenario in which to tell them, and I fully realize there is probably no such thing.  In regards to my avatar, it ties into my "ah-ha" moment when I was becoming more familiar with Richard Dawkins and realized I don't believe in god, and never really have. I do apologize and I hope it doesn't cause you to have any negative feelings towards me.

“That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.”
― Christopher Hitchens


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:/

No, it shall pass.

 

But you have to pay attention that religion warfare doesn't get out of hand and distance you from who you care.


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Welcome! And damn you! For

Welcome!
And damn you! Sticking out tongue
For a second, just a second, I thought deluded_god had returned after seeing your avatar (his avatar was nearly identical).
No offence, I just miss that smart son of a bitch. lol

Anyway, I was never religious, and neither is most of my family and friends. The few of them who are religious to some extent either don't talk to me about religion much or are so rarely seen that them being religious doesn't affect me in the slightest.

That said, I don't hide my atheism and will only allow a religious discussion to go so far before I jump in against any/all religions involved. I simply can't abide such ridiculous discussions. People quickly learn to keep their mouths shut on their religion when I'm around simply so they don't provoke me into jumping in.

I do tend to give fair warning before I jump in. Something along the lines of "If you don't want me ripping your beliefs to shreds, you'll not discuss them around me".

Proud Canadian, Enlightened Atheist, Gaming God.


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Welcome, Shelley Belley

Welcome, Shelley Belley (thanks for the snicker),

 

It is kind of a stand-off for me. When I left the ministry years ago my family especially parents, grandmother were not happy. But I basically went underground to sort out what I really believed. As it became clearer I started to speak up, which was good for me but no one was thrilled. In fact my younger daughter burst into tears in front of me when I said I didn't believe in Jesus in what I thought was an off the cuff remark. She of course concluded I was to burn in hell and didn't like that for her dad. Well, as time progressed she went to college and the a university and we think alike now. My mother still believes in Jesus and all and I have to tell her to stop sending me email regarding the love of god. She doesn't want to start me up on a rant so for us it is mostly a stand off. I really don't want to try to rip her belief to shreds because I simply don't like how I feel when I go down that road. She gets that deer in the headlight look and thinks I am made at her and gets upset. My Dad died a couple of years ago and she thinks his spirit is flying around the house, visiting her and she is looking forward to the day she meets him in heaven. So, really, I don't need to interfere with that. However, when any family member crosses into my territory telling me I need to get right with Jeebus,  I then push back and stand up for my non-belief in their primitive desert fairy tales. The good news is I have places I can vent like here and on my blog and some other good friends. 

Good luck with your family. Being true to yourself is the only thing that ultimately matters and all you really have control over.

Religion Kills !!!

Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/


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Hey Shelley

 

 

hi and welcome to our heathen climes. Am an out atheist in a fundy family and it's a constant battle - perhaps the worst thing is knowing your family have all judged against you on the basis of a subjective fantasy for which no evidence exists. Whether you want to talk to them about it is up to you, I guess. For me, the family connection is bigger than their religion but I'm not entirely convinced it's mutual. I agree with ex-min - be true to yourself.  

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck