Sex In The Kingdom

redneF
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Sex In The Kingdom

So, I'm just curious what Christian theology says about what the afterlife is like in heaven...

In Islam, apparently you can get 72 virgins.

Do we get to have 'bodies' in heaven? What body do we get? The one that we had at death? A new one? If it's a new one, is it an adolescent one, or an adult one?

What about those who die as infants? What about those who die as a fetus? What about hermaphrodites?

Or are we just 'spirit' in heaven, with no physical body?

 

And what about sex? Can we have sex in heaven? How can we have sex?

Is everyone sterile in heaven?

Do we have to be married to have sex in heaven, like we do on earth?

 

If you're a widow, or a widower who remarried, then you've got 2 sexual partners?

What if you're a widow, or a widower, and you remarry, then die and go to heaven? Can you have sex with your first spouse?

What if your 2nd spouse on earth remarries after your death? Then can you have sex with your 1st spouse? Or must you wait for your last earthly spouse (who remarried on earth) to come up to heaven so you can have sex with them? What happens when your last earthly spouse's 2nd spouse dies and goes to heaven?

 

I'd really, really like to know just what kind of a 'logical' system 'the greatest conceivable thing' has got in store for us in heaven.

 

Any ideas, anyone?...

 

I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks

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choose one

I would like to say first that the 72 virgins may well be an error in translation, someone sustain it's 72 grapes or what, I don't know how do you call it in english.

Second, when you die you get the biggest fortune: contemplate the god you love and that very loves you. But then again there are a lot of pharisees who claim you would simply live on this planet, or end in non-existance.


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luca wrote:when you die you

luca wrote:
when you die you get the biggest fortune: contemplate the god you love and that very loves you.

 

Pfft.  I would gladly pass that up for a nice shagging and the chance to contemplate the woman I love and that very much loves me.  God is not a viable substitute for boobs.

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I'm a bit of a lurker. Every now and then I will come out of my cave with a flurry of activity. Then the Ph.D. program calls and I must fall back to the shadows.


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Well, I can't conceive of it

Well, I can't conceive of it in a way that would make sense.........at all. The same goes for hell. This is something that they just don't think about.

Heaven is supposed to be eternal bliss, and sitting on a cloud kissing Yahweh's feet over and over wouldn't be anywhere near bliss for any of us. The only way this would work is if God has an effect on me similar to a powerful drug, like maybe a pound of acid or ecstasy. Personally, I find that even worse than the previous scenario, losing my ability to think clearly.     

That said, what would happen to us if we refused to worship the Christian God in heaven? Maybe he would send us to hell, like Satan. But, Satan doesn't get tortured in hell; he does the torturing, so we would be like demons that get to torture people! That'd be interesting.   

In order for to me to be really happy and intellectually satisfied, I would need many things that I can't imagine the Christian God providing. Well, good food and hot sex is fine, but I would also want more knowledge of reality and some power to help people down on Earth, at least. Unfortunately, since there aren't awesome angels helping people everywhere, we can conclude that either heaven doesn't exist or God doesn't grant this request, lol.

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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Thanks for the giggle...

Zaq wrote:

God is not a viable substitute for boobs.

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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redneF wrote:Do we get to

redneF wrote:
Do we get to have 'bodies' in heaven? What body do we get? The one that we had at death? A new one? If it's a new one, is it an adolescent one, or an adult one?

Well just look to jesus's ressurected body for an example - he is the firstfruit/template of the ressurection to come for everybody else

we dont know everythign about what our bodies will be like but we do know some things

>they will be physical - jesus ate fish / was touched by diciples post ressurection

>they will be spiritural  - jesus could wall through walls

>they will be far more awesome than our current lame meatsacks - crippled people will be able to walk, blind people will be able to see, unborn babies will get to experiance life properly, they wont age/deteriorate/get sick/weak etc...

ressurected jesus can fly and do many other cool things...

redneF wrote:
And what about sex? Can we have sex in heaven? How can we have sex?

...

What if you're a widow, or a widower, and you remarry, then die and go to heaven? Can you have sex with your first spouse?

What if your 2nd spouse on earth remarries after your death? Then can you have sex with your 1st spouse? Or must you wait for your last earthly spouse (who remarried on earth) to come up to heaven so you can have sex with them? What happens when your last earthly spouse's 2nd spouse dies and goes to heaven?

You're a modern day Sadducee Smiling

they asked jesus the same thing 2000 years ago:

Now there were seven brothers. The first one married a woman and died childless.  The second and then the third married her, and in the same way the seven died, leaving no children. Finally, the woman died too. Now then, at the resurrection whose wife will she be, since the seven were married to her?”  Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage, and they can no longer die; for they are like the angels. They are God’s children, since they are children of the resurrection. - Luke 20

> No marriage in heaven - (we will still remeber our spouses though)

Why? because there will be a much more important marrige going on - between Jesus and his chuch - with an epic wedding feast to go with it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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Phillip J. Fry

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

ressurected jesus can fly and do many other cool things...

 

 

 

 


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True Christian™

This question is always entertaining when answered by the Landover Baptist.

 

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35817

 

 

I want Talitha to carry my evil spawn.  

 

There might not even be women in heaven.  (count me out)

 http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=35800

 

Having lots of babies could save women per the Bible.  Seriously, wouldn't a guy write that just to get laid?

 

 

 

 

 

Religion Kills !!!

Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/


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Phillip J. Fry wrote: Why?

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

 

Why? because there will be a much more important marrige going on - between Jesus and his chuch - with an epic wedding feast to go with it.

 

 

  

 

This means what exactly?

Details.

 

 

 

____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


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Good Question

johnpaultheskeptic wrote:
Phillip J. Fry wrote:
Why? because there will be a much more important marrige going on - between Jesus and his chuch - with an epic wedding feast to go with it.
This means what exactly?

Details.


That’s an excellent question Smiling

The marriage between Jesus and his church (or the ‘Wedding of the Lamb’ ) is the end purpose of the universe. It is the reason for which everything was created, and the reason why everything that has happen throughout history has happened.
 

But to explain why i have to go back to the begining - sorry if this is repitition for some people


Before time, when God the Father decided to create the universe, to create people, to create Satan. He knew that if he did, that everyone would rebel against him, and enslave themselves to living selfishly – seeking only to please only  themselves – and being completely incapable of doing anything good. He knew that he would have to punish them for this by poisoning his own good creation with death, disease and disaster. Even though he knew that by creating the world - all humanity would despise and hate him as their enemy, He also knew that he was awesome, and that even if the world got screwed up this bad – He knew that he would be able to fix it anyway if he wanted to becuase he was that awesome.

So he decided to create the world anyway knowing this, and that ultimately it would mean his son Jesus would need to die to fix it. He didn’t do this because he loves us – his creation (although he does), or because he needed to prove something, or because he was bored and needed some entertainment. He created a world that would deteriorate and a people that would eventually hate him -  as a gift for his son Jesus.  (like a birthday present without the birthday). Now you’re probably thinking that is a pretty lame gift - especially considering that it would mean Jesus himself would have to die as a result. But God the Father also knew that Jesus would defeat death and be resurrected in power. He knew that Jesus would be able to bring everything and everyone of this rebellious creation under His authority and that he would be able to turn his enemies into his friends.  And that by doing all of this it would demonstrate the supremacy and awesomeness of Jesus.

So where does the Wedding of the Lamb fit into all this? – well when times reach their fulfilment Jesus will be recognised by all creation as the king – some will acknowledge Jesus as king willingly and will be invited to the wedding feast  - which is heaven (Other will not and be forced to submit anyway). But  at the wedding feast/heaven we can have an eternal relationship with Jesus. This relationship in heaven is far more valuable, important and long lasting than earthly marriages. In fact the bible even says that the reason God created marriage and sex in the first place was to give us a visual aid to help us understand what our relationship in heaven with Jesus is going to look like – although we have managed to pervert and screw up that visual aid as well. This is why there is no need for marriage and sex in heaven - as they were only created to point to the wedding feast. So if you like sex, you will love heaven 1000 x more – cos sex is just a illustration to help us understand what things are going to be like.

 

Sorry for the long post


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So What was the point

First off, why is it theists like to change my name to John Paul? You are one of many that has done this.

I'm not named after the pope.

 

 

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

johnpaultheskeptic wrote:
Phillip J. Fry wrote:
Why? because there will be a much more important marrige going on - between Jesus and his chuch - with an epic wedding feast to go with it.
This means what exactly?

Details.


That’s an excellent question Smiling

The marriage between Jesus and his church (or the ‘Wedding of the Lamb’ ) is the end purpose of the universe. It is the reason for which everything was created, and the reason why everything that has happen throughout history has happened.

Really!


 

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

But to explain why i have to go back to the begining - sorry if this is repitition for some people


Before time, when God the Father decided to create the universe, to create people, to create Satan. He knew that if he did, that everyone would rebel against him, and enslave themselves to living selfishly – seeking only to please only  themselves – and being completely incapable of doing anything good.

How do you know what occurred before time?

Are you like the Greeks who said that "in the beginning, Chaos, an amorphous, gaping void encompassing the entire universe, and surrounded by an unending stream of water ruled by the god Oceanus, was the domain of a goddess named Eurynome, which means "far-ruling" or "wide-wandering". - from - http://www.pantheon.org/articles/g/greek_creation_myths.html

Or the Sumerians - At one point heaven and earth were united, possibly meaning all was together, as in the ultimate black hole perhaps. However some of the gods Anki, existed. An the sky god carried off heaven and Enlil the air god carried off Earth. The goddess Nammu, also called the mother gave birth to heaven and earth as createdout of the primeval sea. Which has similarities to the Greek. Also the Egyptian if you want to go there. - http://www.sacred-texts.com/ane/sum/sum07.htm

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

He knew that he would have to punish them for this by poisoning his own good creation with death, disease and disaster. Even though he knew that by creating the world - all humanity would despise and hate him as their enemy, He also knew that he was awesome, and that even if the world got screwed up this bad – He knew that he would be able to fix it anyway if he wanted to becuase he was that awesome.

Sounds like a rewrite of ancient myths.

Phillip J. Fry wrote:


So he decided to create the world anyway knowing this, and that ultimately it would mean his son Jesus would need to die to fix it. He didn’t do this because he loves us – his creation (although he does), or because he needed to prove something, or because he was bored and needed some entertainment. He created a world that would deteriorate and a people that would eventually hate him -  as a gift for his son Jesus.

Generally most Christians see Jesus as part of a single god, Yahweh or whoever. Are you suggesting he was an independent god born through the Mary character and became the Jesus here?

And if he was also part of the same god, why did he give a gift to himself?

Normally Xtians claim if was the Adam & Eve character fell from grace by sin that brought about the need for the Jesus character, you suggest something different here.

And then there's the problem of the perfect god making a flawed creation, it would seem to be unlikely that it could not do anything but perfection. In fact that's what the Genesis myth indicates.

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

  (like a birthday present without the birthday). Now you’re probably thinking that is a pretty lame gift - especially considering that it would mean Jesus himself would have to die as a result. But God the Father also knew that Jesus would defeat death and be resurrected in power.

The god gives himself a Bday present and decides to placate himself for the flawed creatures he made by killing part of himself, though that was really not possible as the god was supposedly immortal.

This doesn't work out too well.

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

He knew that Jesus would be able to bring everything and everyone of this rebellious creation under His authority and that he would be able to turn his enemies into his friends.  And that by doing all of this it would demonstrate the supremacy and awesomeness of Jesus.

What a pretty far fetched myth you tell.

Phillip J. Fry wrote:


So where does the Wedding of the Lamb fit into all this? – well when times reach their fulfilment Jesus will be recognised by all creation as the king – some will acknowledge Jesus as king willingly and will be invited to the wedding feast  - which is heaven (Other will not and be forced to submit anyway). But  at the wedding feast/heaven we can have an eternal relationship with Jesus.  This relationship in heaven is far more valuable, important and long lasting than earthly marriages. In fact the bible even says that the reason God created marriage and sex in the first place was to give us a visual aid to help us understand what our relationship in heaven with Jesus is going to look like – although we have managed to pervert and screw up that visual aid as well. This is why there is no need for marriage and sex in heaven - as they were only created to point to the wedding feast. So if you like sex, you will love heaven 1000 x more – cos sex is just a illustration to help us understand what things are going to be like.

 

Sorry for the long post

 

It's not like I haven't read this tale a few times.

OK then, then what?

What happens after the party for the next few million years?

Forever is very very long. What exactly will we be doing if we live forever?

Bowing and praising the self appointed king will get quite monotanous after a few hundred thousand years.

Then what?

So what's the point of the Universe, to allow the god to make playthings that he can have bow and praise him forever and ever?

Sounds very boring.

 

____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


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pauljohntheskeptic

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
First off, why is it theists like to change my name to John Paul? You are one of many that has done this.

 

Sorry my mistake - wasn't intentional

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
How do you know what occurred before time?

Im just summarising what the bible says, which i beleive contain the Words of God. In them he revealse his plans from before the beginning of time. Of course you probably don't believe this is Gods word but thats why your the A-Theist and im the Theist - im just explaining what i believe i dont expect to convince you of anything.

Here is one example where i get this from>

 

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. ... he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,  to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillmentto bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. - Ephesians 1

 

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
Generally most Christians see Jesus as part of a single god, Yahweh or whoever. Are you suggesting he was an independent god born through the Mary character and became the Jesus here?

And if he was also part of the same god, why did he give a gift to himself?

Normally Xtians claim if was the Adam & Eve character fell from grace by sin that brought about the need for the Jesus character, you suggest something different here.

God the Father, God the Son (Jesus) and God the Spirit - All one God but in 3 unique persons all equally God. Jesus has always existed he wasnt created - when he was 'born' he just became incarnate/human (but still 100% God)

Adam's sin was not unexpected by God. Sending Jesus to save mankind was not God's backup plan - it was always his main A - Plan, God doen't need a plan B - He knows what will happen and makes his plans so that things will turn out how he wants them to first time - every time

 

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
It's not like I haven't read this tale a few times.

OK then, then what?

What happens after the party for the next few million years?

Forever is very very long. What exactly will we be doing if we live forever?

There will be plenty of things to do for those who trust in Jesus. We will be ruling the new Heavens and the new earth that Jesus will create shortly after he destroys this current decaying universe.  We will rule the new creation as Kings and Queens - under the rule of God. We will rule over all the other created beings - angels and creatures. We will be able to catch up with all our brothers and sisters who are also in christ. We will have our new awesome ressurection bodies and be continuing to enjoy the good food and orther created things that we enjoy in this current earth. But we wont have to put up with any of the decay, sickness, disasters and death. It will be back to how this place was originally created. We will have work to do too - but it wont tire us out like work does today - it will be fun. There will be building projects - plenty of stuff to do. I know i won't be bored

 

 

 

 


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Phillip J. Fry

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

johnpaultheskeptic wrote:
Phillip J. Fry wrote:
Why? because there will be a much more important marrige going on - between Jesus and his chuch - with an epic wedding feast to go with it.
This means what exactly?

Details.


That’s an excellent question Smiling

The marriage between Jesus and his church (or the ‘Wedding of the Lamb’ ) is the end purpose of the universe. It is the reason for which everything was created, and the reason why everything that has happen throughout history has happened.
 

But to explain why i have to go back to the begining - sorry if this is repitition for some people


Before time, when God the Father decided to create the universe, to create people, to create Satan. He knew that if he did, that everyone would rebel against him, and enslave themselves to living selfishly – seeking only to please only  themselves – and being completely incapable of doing anything good. He knew that he would have to punish them for this by poisoning his own good creation with death, disease and disaster. Even though he knew that by creating the world - all humanity would despise and hate him as their enemy, He also knew that he was awesome, and that even if the world got screwed up this bad – He knew that he would be able to fix it anyway if he wanted to becuase he was that awesome.

So he decided to create the world anyway knowing this, and that ultimately it would mean his son Jesus would need to die to fix it. He didn’t do this because he loves us – his creation (although he does), or because he needed to prove something, or because he was bored and needed some entertainment. He created a world that would deteriorate and a people that would eventually hate him -  as a gift for his son Jesus.  (like a birthday present without the birthday). Now you’re probably thinking that is a pretty lame gift - especially considering that it would mean Jesus himself would have to die as a result. But God the Father also knew that Jesus would defeat death and be resurrected in power. He knew that Jesus would be able to bring everything and everyone of this rebellious creation under His authority and that he would be able to turn his enemies into his friends.  And that by doing all of this it would demonstrate the supremacy and awesomeness of Jesus.

So where does the Wedding of the Lamb fit into all this? – well when times reach their fulfilment Jesus will be recognised by all creation as the king – some will acknowledge Jesus as king willingly and will be invited to the wedding feast  - which is heaven (Other will not and be forced to submit anyway). But  at the wedding feast/heaven we can have an eternal relationship with Jesus. This relationship in heaven is far more valuable, important and long lasting than earthly marriages. In fact the bible even says that the reason God created marriage and sex in the first place was to give us a visual aid to help us understand what our relationship in heaven with Jesus is going to look like – although we have managed to pervert and screw up that visual aid as well. This is why there is no need for marriage and sex in heaven - as they were only created to point to the wedding feast. So if you like sex, you will love heaven 1000 x more – cos sex is just a illustration to help us understand what things are going to be like.

 

Sorry for the long post

 

Sounds like a really bad design.

He did it because he loves us. I am sure when I am pleading for a drop of water on my tongue from you from hell we both will be struck by the magnificent love of god.

Thank you for accurately summing up what The Book says. It really sounds like just one of many other ancient myths that belongs in the past. It is truly a work of fiction.

 

 

Religion Kills !!!

Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/


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Phillip J. Fry

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
It's not like I haven't read this tale a few times.

OK then, then what?

What happens after the party for the next few million years?

Forever is very very long. What exactly will we be doing if we live forever?

There will be plenty of things to do for those who trust in Jesus. We will be ruling the new Heavens and the new earth that Jesus will create shortly after he destroys this current decaying universe.  We will rule the new creation as Kings and Queens - under the rule of God. We will rule over all the other created beings - angels and creatures. We will be able to catch up with all our brothers and sisters who are also in christ. We will have our new awesome ressurection bodies and be continuing to enjoy the good food and orther created things that we enjoy in this current earth. But we wont have to put up with any of the decay, sickness, disasters and death. It will be back to how this place was originally created. We will have work to do too - but it wont tire us out like work does today - it will be fun. There will be building projects - plenty of stuff to do. I know i won't be bored

 

What if we don't want to rule anyone or anything?  What if we don't want to lick god/s/dess' toes for eternity?  What if we don't want to hang with our neurotic nutcase relatives?  (My sister is a fervent JW.)  What if we don't want to build things/organisms/stuff?  Sounds like what you want is a power play.  And I'm not interested.

Thanks, if I have to have an afterlife, I'll go hang in hell with Mark Twain and my fun friends and relatives.  I really don't want to spend eternity with people like you.

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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Phillip J. Fry

Phillip J. Fry wrote:
ressurected jesus can fly and do many other cool things...

 

Really?  Can he slam a six inch spike into a board with his cock?

 

Seriously, I have standards for an acceptable saviour.

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Phillip J. Fry

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
How do you know what occurred before time?

Im just summarising what the bible says, which i beleive contain the Words of God. In them he revealse his plans from before the beginning of time. Of course you probably don't believe this is Gods word but thats why your the A-Theist and im the Theist - im just explaining what i believe i dont expect to convince you of anything.

Here is one example where i get this from>

 

For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. ... he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,  to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillmentto bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. - Ephesians 1


 

 Did you know that Ephesians was not written by Paul? Many scholars including Bart Ehrman take this position. See Forged by Bart Ehrman pp 108-112.

This statement in Ephesians is by a writer who used Paul's name to propagate his message. He's no better than you or I and was not inspired. He was a dishonest person using the name of someone else.

Even if it had been written by Paul, which it wasn't, Paul was not present before time existed nor did he ever meet anyone that did. It would have been just his opinion had he wrote this, which he didn't.

 

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
Generally most Christians see Jesus as part of a single god, Yahweh or whoever. Are you suggesting he was an independent god born through the Mary character and became the Jesus here?

And if he was also part of the same god, why did he give a gift to himself?

Normally Xtians claim if was the Adam & Eve character fell from grace by sin that brought about the need for the Jesus character, you suggest something different here.

God the Father, God the Son (Jesus) and God the Spirit - All one God but in 3 unique persons all equally God. Jesus has always existed he wasnt created - when he was 'born' he just became incarnate/human (but still 100% God)

Adam's sin was not unexpected by God. Sending Jesus to save mankind was not God's backup plan - it was always his main A - Plan, God doen't need a plan B - He knows what will happen and makes his plans so that things will turn out how he wants them to first time - every time

If you have ever read any of my posts or threads you may know that I go to the Jewish explanations many times, as it is their religion that has been morphed.  Unlike self loathing Christians, Jews see man as born with a pure soul and claim that man can return it to the god in the same condition. They don't buy the original sin concept. They don't require a blood sacrifice of a human, which is actually against Judaism. The mashiach was not to be an immortal god to save them from their sins.

You will first need to discredit the Jewish view that man is born with a pure soul and can return it to the god in the same condition. As the concept of original sin contradicts that which was taught from the inception of Hebrew/Jewish teaching, discuss how this is not true. The Adam character is not seen as passing on this as a sin requiring the placating of the god with a human sacrifice, which is contrary to Hebrew/Jewish beliefs anyway.

 

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

pauljohntheskeptic wrote:
It's not like I haven't read this tale a few times.

OK then, then what?

What happens after the party for the next few million years?

Forever is very very long. What exactly will we be doing if we live forever?

There will be plenty of things to do for those who trust in Jesus. We will be ruling the new Heavens and the new earth that Jesus will create shortly after he destroys this current decaying universe. 

You get this from where?

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

We will rule the new creation as Kings and Queens - under the rule of God. We will rule over all the other created beings - angels and creatures.

And you get this from where?

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

We will be able to catch up with all our brothers and sisters who are also in christ.

And this?

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

We will have our new awesome ressurection bodies and be continuing to enjoy the good food and orther created things that we enjoy in this current earth. But we wont have to put up with any of the decay, sickness, disasters and death. It will be back to how this place was originally created.

I know that in Revelation aka Apocalypse of John it discusses this:

Such as Rev 21:4 where death sorrow, pain are gone; while Rev 21:7 indicates in KJV that he that shall over come will inherit all things while Douay-Rheims (Catholic translation - based on the Latin Vulgate) indicates they will possess these things; this version does not use the word 'all' as in the poor translation of patchwork texts from various Greek scraps that were used in the KJV.

I don't see anywhere in this text that indicates I can still get an Angus burger from the Burger Bar in the mall by the Luxor in Vegas.

Instead, I see in Rev 22 that the tree of life produces 12 kinds of fruit monthly. It's leaves are used to heal the nations. ????What, I thought healing wouldn't be needed anymore?

And there is clean crystal clear water. Something maybe rare in the 1st century but I know of plenty of it today.

And where does it say I can still play chess?

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

 

We will have work to do too - but it wont tire us out like work does today - it will be fun. There will be building projects - plenty of stuff to do. I know i won't be bored  

Work? What work? So we are forced labor?

____________________________________________________________
"I guess it's time to ask if you live under high voltage power transmission lines which have been shown to cause stimulation of the fantasy centers of the brain due to electromagnetic waves?" - Me

"God is omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent, - it says so right here on the label. If you have a mind capable of believing all three of these divine attributes simultaneously, I have a wonderful bargain for you. No checks please. Cash and in small bills." - Robert A Heinlein.


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So Ossama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven, where he meets whomever is the muslim version of Saint Peter.

 

Peter: “Welcome Ossama! We have been waiting for you, step right this way!”

 

Peter leads him to a door and says, “On the other side of this door are your 72 virgins. Step right in”.

 

So Ossama goes through the door only to find the USC marching band.

 

Ossama: “Fuck!”

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

 

So Ossama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven, where he meets whomever is the muslim version of Saint Peter.

 

Peter: “Welcome Ossama! We have been waiting for you, step right this way!”

 

Peter leads him to a door and says, “On the other side of this door are your 72 virgins. Step right in”.

 

So Ossama goes through the door only to find the USC marching band.

 

Ossama: “Fuck!”

 

Cute joke.  But I have problems imaging the USC marching band members are virgins.  Sorry.

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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Behold....

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:


The marriage between Jesus and his church (or the ‘Wedding of the Lamb’ ) is the end purpose of the universe. 

 

 

...the Lord of all assertions...

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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This happens just after

 

Phillip J. Fry wrote:

 

There will be plenty of things to do for those who trust in Jesus. We will be ruling the new Heavens and the new earth that Jesus will create shortly after he destroys this current decaying universe.  We will rule the new creation as Kings and Queens - under the rule of God. We will rule over all the other created beings - angels and creatures. We will be able to catch up with all our brothers and sisters who are also in christ. We will have our new awesome ressurection bodies and be continuing to enjoy the good food and other created things that we enjoy in this current earth. But we wont have to put up with any of the decay, sickness, disasters and death. It will be back to how this place was originally created. We will have work to do too - but it wont tire us out like work does today - it will be fun. There will be building projects - plenty of stuff to do. 

 

 

Jill and Eustace return to save the world from Shift, an ape, who tricks Puzzle, a donkey, into impersonating a lion. Hope I get good seats. 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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cj wrote:Answers in Gene

cj wrote:

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

 

So Ossama bin Laden dies and goes to heaven, where he meets whomever is the muslim version of Saint Peter.

 

Peter: “Welcome Ossama! We have been waiting for you, step right this way!”

 

Peter leads him to a door and says, “On the other side of this door are your 72 virgins. Step right in”.

 

So Ossama goes through the door only to find the USC marching band.

 

Ossama: “Fuck!”

 

Cute joke.  But I have problems imaging the USC marching band members are virgins.  Sorry.

 

 

Well aren't you the wet blanket of the year.

 

Department of it stops being funny when you have to explain it but I have to pick some large group of socially maladjusted young people.  I suppose that there are very few people in the drama dept. at UCSF who have ever been with the opposite sex but I doubt that there are many virgins there.

 

Drop by youtube and watch the video for Tusk once more.  If you can't find 76 virgins in that crowd, then tell me where you will...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc8usPlAYbg&NR=1

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

cj wrote:

Cute joke.  But I have problems imaging the USC marching band members are virgins.  Sorry.

 

Well aren't you the wet blanket of the year.

 

Department of it stops being funny when you have to explain it but I have to pick some large group of socially maladjusted young people.  I suppose that there are very few people in the drama dept. at UCSF who have ever been with the opposite sex but I doubt that there are many virgins there.

 

Drop by youtube and watch the video for Tusk once more.  If you can't find 76 virgins in that crowd, then tell me where you will...

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hc8usPlAYbg&NR=1

 

Love the song - really.  With that routine, it looked like chiropractor heaven in a few years.

The problem is, I was in my high school band - played clarinet.  And you could count the number of drum majorettes who made it to graduation with out getting pregnant on the finger of one hand.

You've never been on a band trip, have you?  

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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cj wrote:You've never been

cj wrote:

You've never been on a band trip, have you?  

 

 

Does fifth grade count?

 

Probably not but I did have a misspent youth.    Some of the best stories would take many pages to cover even in minimal detail.

 

For some reason, I stand reminded of anatomically correct inflatable farm animals.  I only paid for it, I never used it.  My brother did get the DJ to do a dedication to the guy we gave it too.  The song was Jimmy Buffet's "why don't we get drunk and screw?"  The next time I saw the guy, he let slip that it could not be inflated because it had a hole in it.  Well, that would be three holes.

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=