My Personal Story and Witness Account
I was just browsing around the web and stumbled across this site. Personally, I wouldn't be able to make my points against Atheism on this board with the Theistic knowledge I have. However, what I can tell you is my own personal story and I don't see how anyone could argue that since I am in fact me! And I will gladly be put under oath stating that I am me
As a Christian, I am at a minimum called to be a witness for Christ. My only hope is for anyone who doesn't believe that my words will give them something to think about. So here it goes.
I grew up the youngest of nine children in South Texas (5 sisters, 3 brothers). We were by no means rich but we never missed a meal. My mother is Catholic and I was raised such (more on this later). I attended Catholic school and Church growing up. My father was a decent man but no churchgoer. He loved cigarettes and the beer can a little more that he should have. He died when I was 7 years old of basically bad health due to the drinking and smoking all of his life.
Not having a father from that point impacted me a heck of a lot more than I could have imagined at the time. Aside from not having the appropriate discipline, there are certain things a young boy needs that only a father can provide (children need fathers and not just the weekend visitor type either). I really missed out on the fun and times that my older brothers had.
Going on through life, I always just felt a little bit strange. I can't really explain it but the best analogy I've heard is that I was a square peg trying to fit in a round hole. I was horribly skinny and constantly teased about it. I had friends and such but I just usually retreated my my bedroom when I got home from school. I never really liked school and all of the "normal" kids that went there. My mom remarried a few years later but he ended up dying too.
In High School, I was miserable. I didn't want to drop out but I didn't want to stay either. So I doubled my efforts in class and voluntarily took summer school just so I could graduate early. During this time, I had fallen in love with my fathers first love...good old beer can! That stuff did for me what nothing or no one else could have. I really took away the square peg feelings I constantly had. By this point, I had really rejected God. I couldn't imagine feeling the ways I did and God letting it all happen.
Upon graduation I joined the Navy. I really wanted to get out of my environment and start fresh. I thought the Navy would do that for me. And it did. Unfortunately I took me along. It wasn't until later in life that I realized that I was a large source of my problems. At this point though I worked hard and partied even harder. The Navy was a good place to do that. Their checks didn't bounce and I advanced quicker than my peers. The problem was that the booze wasn't hiding those feelings of inadequacy anymore. Sooner or later I had to face myself and quit running.
By this point I was in terrible shape in the physical, emotional, and spiritual sense. I was just a shell of a person and had nothing inside of me that was worth living for. For these last couple of years I just wanted to die and would have welcomed it but I wasn't brave enough to just blow my brains out.
One morning when I woke up, I started to walk across the room and things just started going black in my vision until finally everything was black. I fell to this floor but I don't know what really happened or how long I was out. I came to in severe shakes, cold sweat, and scared to death. I was on my back staring at the celing and I just knew that this wasn't the way things were supposed to be. I said thie simplest prayer that any man can say and that's "God, help me". He answers those prayers immediately and we completely abandon ourselves to him.
I'd like to tell you that things got better that second and I lived happily ever after but that only happens in story books. Over the course of the next few weeks, God put people in my life that were there to help me. I know it had to be Him because there were just too many odd coincidences going on for them to all be coincidences. I found myself going through an alcohol out patient treatment, and there were good Christian men and women put in my life to help me along. People who didn't judge me, only wanted to help me. I accepted Jesus as my savior shortly thereafter. The horrible, sinful life that I lived was washed away. It's good how this works..that no matter what our past was like, our future is still spotless.
I have a life today that I could not have designed or asked for (and to be honest, I don't think I would have wanted it earlier in life). I got away from the Catholic church into a true Christian church that is focused on the Bible. My life is full and yet it still seems to get better. I got out of the Navy after nearly 9 years, have a great job, a wife and family, and all the feelings I had before our but distant memories. Every day is not a bed of roses in the least but my most difficult days today are at least bearable.
That's it in a nutshell. You can laugh at me if you want to but no man can argue the true genuine awakening within me. And the good news is that it's available to all those who want it..free of charge.