Atheists Take Advantage of Christian Idiocracy
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How will you know for sure how your pets will be cared for after you're gone?
WHEN Judgment Day comes - which some US Christian fundamentalists insist will happen on Saturday - have you thought about what you're going to do with the family dog and cat?
In 26 US states, you could have them rescued and adopted by enterprising atheists who have set up a business to care for the animal companions of any Christians who are selected to go to heaven when Jesus Christ comes back.
"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes, what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind?" Eternal Earth-Bound Pets says on its website, offering to "take that burden off your mind".
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The post-Doomsday pet rescue service already has 259 clients, who have paid $135 for the first pet and $20 for each additional pet at the same address, to ensure the faithful animal companions are looked after and loved even when their Christian owners have gone to the other side.
All the rescuers are sworn atheists, which means they will definitely be left behind on Earth, ready to rescue pets after the Rapture, which one US Christian fundamentalist group has pencilled in for Saturday.
When Judgement Day happens, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets co-founder Bart Centre "will notify all of our rescuers to go into action and they will drive to the homes of anyone who's signed a contract with us, pick up their pets and take them home and adopt them as their own, keeping them happy and healthy for the rest of their lives.
"This will happen only if and when the Rapture happens. So we do not expect to have to do anything on Saturday," Mr Centre said.
Contracts are good for 10 years, just in case the Mayan calendar prophesy, which predicts the world will end in December next year, comes true.
[Meanwhile, a "handy" form is doing the web rounds which Rapture-bound people can fill out to ensure their worldly goods go to the right people. Isn't the internet wonderful? - news.com.au]
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
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ROFLMFAO !
As an animal lover, all of the Raptured can leave their pets with me anyday. I'll have plenty of room to take care of them with half the world gone. Always did have a bit of a dream of having a huge place with lots of animals. But of course, pet care is expensive, so they have to leave me all of their money and belongings as well.
“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno
I am extremely jealous I didn't think of this first.
1 - You only need one person and one simple page which takes Paypal, credit cards and routing numbers for payment.
2 - You sit back and watch your bank account grow.
3 - No need to worry about having to deal with "rapture" because it will never happen.
4 - No refunds. All sales are final.