Funeral in the Bible Belt

mrOriginal
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Funeral in the Bible Belt

I recently had a death in my family, had to go out of town for the Funeral.  I am close to nearly every person that was in attendance for this funeral, and while claiming to all be "Christians", they pick and choose when they wish to be religious.

I had to listen to a Baptist preacher for nearly an hour who talked about my Grandmother, a person he had never met.  How God loved her and had a "special room" in heaven made just for her.

His words... "Trust me when I say this, I know that God has many wonderful gifts for all us when we meet Jesus again."  He quoted some lame scripture, and that was that.

 

It was disgusting.  I felt disturbed that everyone bought into this Jerkoff's sermon, and then went to the "after funeral party" to get drunk.

 

So there I am, standing in the midst of nearly 50 drunk theists.  The only sane and rational person, not to mention sober. All of them quoting this preacher. Saying things like " Yesterday is History, and Tomorrow is a Mystery, today is God's gift, that is why its called the "present". "

 

Some were even dillusional enough to keep speaking to her as if she was still here.....but comforted, out of denial and grief, that one day, they will reach heaven and be reunited.......

 

The worst part, every last one of them knows that I reject any and all forms of religion.  Especially the Holy Trinity.  I became a target, indoctrination pouring out of these people who "pitied" me for not being a believer.  Saying how sad my life must be, and how it doesn't make sense to not believe in God.

 

I will not tolerate a stranger being pushy.  But, it was different with family.  I do dissagree with all of them, but I love them and managed to just let them be drunk, deluded idiots, who did nothing but make me a stronger Atheist with their preaching, using their crutch because they are just weak.

I found it so hard to bite my tongue, after hours of religious abuse.

 

Religion is a sham, and a crutch for weak minded people, who cannot accept anything about life based on its own merit.  God is nothing but a scapegoat.  Worshipped by self absorbed children.

 

My Grandma suffered from Crohns Disease.  She was in miserable pain for months, bedridden, cut open from her chest to her pelvis, couldn't eat, and couldn't breathe on her own.  I loved her, but I'm happy she doesn't have to suffer anymore.  Unlike the selfish theists pricks who are sad not to have her around anymore.  What a terrible way to treat someone......"You can suffer in pain forever, just don't leave us here all sad"..

 

fucking ridiculous, my Grandmother deserved better.

 

mr. O

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Whoever feels predestined to see and not to believe will find all believers too noisy and pushy: he guards against them."

Friedrich Nietzsche


latincanuck
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 I must say that must of

 I must say that must of been hard, family can be especially troubling to deal with when it comes to religion. On one hand you have to deal with them on a more personal, and sometimes regular basis. On the other hand, you should have your rights to your beliefs and be left alone regarding them. Not having to have to deal with religion in my family as much as others on these forums have had to or do on a regular basis. When it comes to death in the family however, that I have had to deal with twice in less than a year apart. My grandmother and great aunt both died, however they both died differently my grandmother was quick, she woke up, told her sister she didn't feel well and then just died without getting out of bed. Quick and painless it seems, which I am truly glad she went that way. My aunt however had stomach cancer without any treatment as the by the time the doctors figured it out, it was way to late. Needless to say she suffered till the end, most in my family were grateful when she finally passed away because she basically just suffered the last 4 months, not even being able to get out of bed or eat, she just starved to death.

However not all in my family were able to deal with the death, and still wish she was alive, I understand that, in many ways when it comes to our loved ones we always want them around longer, its part of being selfish in a way, it is part of not wanting change. We humans in general do not like change. But I from my personal experiences, i have always found theists the ones that deal with death the hardest. Most of my atheist friends have been able to let go when someone dies, I guess it comes from accepting that this is it. But rarely have I seen theists accept death easily, I don't know why, i figure because they don't really accept death as final, kinda the reason they need to believe in the afterlife, but when death happens, it doesn't mean they actually believe in the myth of the afterlife. I could be wrong with my assumption, however it is what i have observed time and time again.


Brian37
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As with all life, life is a

As with all life, life is a range, and when you say "Theists deal with it the hardest", maybe as a ratio, but not an absolute.

I can tell you that I did NOT deal with my pet's death very well. And even with my mom, merely having problems going to the hospital is very frighting to me. She went to the hospital once and I ended up in a deep depression for a month.

Your sample rates can be skewed. When my grandfather died certainly there were people waling and crying, but there were also people who simply bowed their heads down in contemplation.

The only thing that is different is that even though I can be just as emotional about death as a theist, I don't assign my normal evolutionary attributes to magic.

You might argue that because of that false belief of magic the way theists cope can make things worse depending on the individual.

But all humans are a range. We are all capable of the same range of human emotions and actions.

I will say that inserting a deity into something as biological as death, does not help us stave off death by studying the things that cause death,

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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Dear Mr.OI'm sorry for the

Dear Mr.O

I'm sorry for the loss of your Grandmother...and for the event you had to endure.

I had to sit through a church of christ funeral when my dad died - after we had him cremated and had a Hospice service in the state where he died - simply because his side of the family expected it. I hated it, having to say good-bye twice sucked but, I figured his relatives needed to say good-bye in their own way so, we went through with it.

My mom is 87 and if she should go before I do, I still don't know how I will handle it. She was raised catholic but now hates the catholic church. She thinks humans are spiritual beings (whatever that means) and she likes to watch Joel Olstein on t.v. I am the only family member living within 600 miles of her. She wants to be cremated, which I will do for her. I don't know what to do about any sort of memorial service..

...and like Brian, I don't deal well with death, at all. It's not fear of death but, just the fact that one second there is a life and the next it is gone...just creeps me out, I guess, and doesn't seem 'fair' - especially if there is supposed to be some kind of omnipotent being in control of everything. If I were such a being, I would have devised a way around death, for sure.

 

'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.' A. Einstein


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I went through something

I went through something similar when my grandmother died.  She was a business woman, so there was a large funeral for her.  No one had the time to show up when she was in the nursing home dying from an inoperable blood clot, but they all had time for the funeral. 

She hadn't attended church since she was a young girl.  Most of my family is of the "I'm not religious but I believe in god" sort.  So they had the Assembly of God pastor give the eulogy at the funeral.  Poor guy had never seen her before.  Why they thought they had to have any pastor at all - why they couldn't have asked some of her business associates to speak briefly - is beyond me.  But I had no choices, it was all up to her children - my mom and uncle.

When my mom died a few years ago, she was cremated.  My sister and her family and church (she is Jehovah Witness) had a memorial - they kindly invited me, I kindly declined to attend.  I did have the excuse of the memorial being over 1500 miles away.  I was glad when mom finally died - she had pleurisy and each breath she took was painful for the last three months of her life.  She was taking serious doses of oxycotin constantly.  Looking around the nursing home mom was in and all I can conclude is that if there is a god/s/dess, s/he/it/they must hate old people given the indignities and pain they are put through.  Why can't we feel great until we just drop dead?

Three years after mom died, the very best dog in the world died.  I had to put him to sleep as he had kidney cancer.  I was devastated.  For my mom or my dog, I did not keep their ashes.  I do not have a lock of hair or any other remembrances.  My memories are all I need and the thought of keeping an urn with ashes is creepy.

We all grieve in our own ways.  I don't see how believing in a god/s/dess who tortures your loved ones until they die can be a comforting thought.

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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Condolences

Sorry for your loss. As this group knows my father died a year ago last November. and only a month ago my favorite cat died. I got more comfort from these atheist than my Christian friends and relatives. I like not being told how to feel and to get right with Jeebus. Now as an atheist I deal with death better. I used to get angry at God for allowing such things. How could he being so perfect and loving? What was he waiting for? It has been 2k years since the price was paid. I even as a minister attended the funeral of an infant. That was quite painful. Now I know this god is imaginary, so I have no reason to be angry at him anymore than Santa or the Easter Bunny. Additionally life is more precious to me and my loved ones without putting up with any BS. I have truly become myself which for me is the highest spiritual principle. In religion I put the thing on (the facades). In spirituality I am the thing.

Religion Kills !!!

Numbers 31:17-18 - Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.

http://jesus-needs-money.blogspot.com/


mrOriginal
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Thanks to all of you who

Thanks to all of you who commented,

It feels better to know i'm not alone in this particular struggle.  But it was certainly a learning experience for me.  I agree with the comment about my fellow atheists being kinder and more understanding and empathetic to situations like this.  Pity was not the motivator at all, I just don't have an outlet other than the forum to voice what it is like to attend a service like that, or being around family that acts like mine. 

 

Thanks for the support.

 

mr. O

"Whoever feels predestined to see and not to believe will find all believers too noisy and pushy: he guards against them."

Friedrich Nietzsche


Sandycane
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mrOriginal wrote:Thanks to

mrOriginal wrote:

Thanks to all of you who commented,

It feels better to know i'm not alone in this particular struggle.  But it was certainly a learning experience for me.  I agree with the comment about my fellow atheists being kinder and more understanding and empathetic to situations like this.  Pity was not the motivator at all, I just don't have an outlet other than the forum to voice what it is like to attend a service like that, or being around family that acts like mine. 

 

Thanks for the support.

 

mr. O

I know what you mean...I don't persoanlly know another atheist besides you guys on this forum. I don't dare make it public - I like living here - and I don't really see any need to do so. I don't discuss my non-beliefs with anyone and when they say something christian-like, I simply nod and ignore it. Makes my life 'easy'.

 

'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.' A. Einstein