A strange/interesting experience...

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A strange/interesting experience...

I would like to share an experience I had today, see what you guys make of it.  I was invited to what turned out to be a very strange/interesting breakfast.  The group that organizes these breakfasts is called BNI=Business Networking International.  Anyone herd of this group?  By the amount of chapters and members they have worldwide there could very well be a member on the site, or maybe you know someone who was affiliated.  Here are the basics:  There are thousands of chapters and hundreds of members per chapter, each chapter meets every week for breakfast.  The idea is each chapter assembles a group of "professionals," only one from representing each profession can be a member in each chapter.  So one flooring installer, one realtor, one lawyer, one computer programmer etc...  The group exchanges referrals by networking people in their lives.  The rules are you must give the referral to the proper representative in your chapter.  So if your friend tells you he needs a plumber, you must refer the plumber in your chapter, and vice versa of course.  So up to this point is seems like a fairly reasonable idea besides the obvious A)-You may know a better plumber or be a close friend of a plumber (or whatever) that might be offended and B)-That you will inevitably be referring people/companies not because they are the best choice but because you are forced to, but basically this is just a group of people who meet to exchange business contacts.

 

But now we get into the strange stuff.  First I'm always suspicious when you show up to the vaguely described "networking breakfast" or "business breakfast" and it is at a golf course conference room, a young man a woman are outside the door ready to greet you with a name tag to put on and a sign up sheet to fill out (for email write  or face a barrage of further e-invites) you walk in and there is a projector and screen.  The room is filled with buzzing people in semi formal business attire, you know absolutely no-one and it is very awkward.  As soon as people notice you wondering around to the coffee table they begin to advance on you.  They are very interested in giving and getting cards (not a big deal of course) but keep it in mind for the big picture I'm describing.  When you are asked to be seated IT BEGINS!!!  The first thing they do is (on the spot no one is told this prior) make everyone stand up one by one to state your name and business, this is also very awkward as none of these "recruits" have planned anything and most you can tell aren't particularly excited about it.  The entire group claps after every little 30 second speech.  Then the presentation begins.  The chapters "leaders" begin the classic "how to be successful" presentation complete with graphs and pretty charts with arrows pointing in circles from "determination" to "networking"  with "success" in bold lettering in the middle (or whatever, don't quite remember).   Having read all the "how to be successful" books when I was younger this stuff seemed pretty mundane and obvious, simple stuff.  Now is when you start wondering, "what the heck is this really all about?"

 

  The presentation ends and then they force another out of the blue solo stand up speech by you explaining what you learned from the presentation, which quickly turns into a bunch of people talking about how the "energy is so high in the room," praising the group and leaders and so on.  Of course the entire group claps again after every little speech.  Now while this was happening the guy from work who invited me leans over and says "so have you ever thought of having a website for your business,"  "sure"  I said,  he says "ok I'll put you down as a referral for Jim our website designer."  "That guy?, can't you just introduce me after the meeting?" I asked.  "Sure, but I'm still going to put you down as an official referral ok!"   So he fills out his official referral sheet and puts it in his little BNI booklet.  So they are certainly keeping a tight record, and at this point I am assuming they have to meet some kind of quota not only for referrals but also for guests/”recruits” they bring to the breakfasts as well.  Then they hit you with it.

 

  The last and final part of the meeting is the 19 seconds or so where they explain membership is about $650.  They quickly move on from that.  After the meeting as you can guess what more networking mostly BNI focused, not business focused.  This was a sales breakfast no doubt about it.

What I found interesting was how the meeting and group felt much like a cult.  The forced speaking, the clapping, the high energy, the pushiness, the "everyone trying to get you in" feeling, the secretive vibe, it was a strange feeling in general that reminded allot of my days as a Jehovah’s Witness, and the real estate flipping conference I attended when I was 19 that asked for $1200 for a course at the end.  From my research the organization is legitimate, but the chapters are franchises with owners and the money you pay for membership and breakfasts and events goes to them.  As a member you MUST attend every meeting they allow one miss per 3 months or something, anymore and you MUST send someone to fill your spot, if not your membership is revoked.  Also of course they have all kinds of things to sell you including self help books and tapes and such things.  In general my conclusion is it is at best an organization that might get you some business but you have to endure strange cult like high energy sales like breakfasts every week, and recruit people in your life.  For me it was a fail and reeked of BS, opinions?  Anyone familiar with BNI??? 


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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BNI_%28Organization%29

It's a business references organization. Never heard of it till today.

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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Oh man, I forgot...One of

Oh man, I forgot...One of these recruits that presented his business today was a dowser.  Well infact he was a "womens empowerment something or other..."  He stood up and said something about helping women find their inner strength and then he held up the 2  90 degree dowsing rods and said "cross" and they crossed and then "striaghten" and they straightened.  I almost pissed my pants right there as everyone clapped for him, but I kept it together as everyone was generally nice and I didn't want to make a rukus, I really just wanted to get the fuck outta there quickly and quietly, this damb breakfast went on for hours.


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Kapkao

Kapkao wrote:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BNI_%28Organization%29

It's a business references organization. Never heard of it till today.

They are surprisingly large for not being well known, they are suspiciously secretive, just enough to make you wonder. 


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NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:They

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:

They are surprisingly large for not being well known, they are suspiciously secretive, just enough to make you wonder. 

There could always be a reason for that

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:He

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
He stood up and said something about helping women find their inner strength and then he held up the 2  90 degree dowsing rods and said "cross" and they crossed and then "striaghten" and they straightened.  I almost pissed my pants right there as everyone clapped for him,

Everyone clapped, huh?

 

*Sigh*...........

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:For

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:

For me it was a fail and reeked of BS, opinions?  Anyone familiar with BNI??? 

BNI? 

Ya, they're weird, all right.

I had a business acquaintance invite me out to a 'breakfast'.

It was over 10 yrs ago, so my memory of it is thin. But, ya, there is a definite weird cult like vibe, and glazed look in their eyes, and these kind of creepy perma smiles. I know that sounds like a Twilight Zone episode, but, obviously you picked up on the vibe too.

And ya, you picked up on the flaw in the ointment, that, if you're a plumber, and a number of these people all know a plumber, it don't works so goods.

If I remember correctly, they were also quite, quite adamant about attending every single meeting, at some insane hour (like 6:30 am every Thursday, or something) and that if you couldn't personally do it, you were required to send someone to the meeting to fill your shoes.

They had a 'reasoning', that I don't quite remember, other than my feelings after hearing the explanation, were 'Ummmm.... STFU..."

 

The weird vibe, and the high cost of membership, totally turned me off of the idea.

If you're looking for business networking, the best place is a local Board of Trade. I used to be a member of 2 BOT's (you can be a member in another town/city) for a few years.

They can be really great. They have opportunities to get up an stage and do your 'pitch' to the entire audience, or you can take a more casual approach, and simply mingle.

They also hold events at different times, and occasions, and do cool things like hold 'speed networking' events.

 

I'm not sure if 'speed networking' came before 'speed dating' but it works on the same principle. It takes about an hour, 20 people who stay seated, and 20 people who get 3 minutes with one seated person, then move to the next table, and after, you all kinda hang out, and pick up where you left off with people you really had mutual 'connection' with, in a totally casual atmosphere.

The Board of Trade thing, is the best thing I found, but, I stopped advertising myself a long time ago, as I do work only through referrals, now.

With the Board of Trade membership, you often get a booklet (sometimes with a CD as well), with an index of all the companies, with contact names, title, address, phone number, business category, and company outline, of each member/organization.

You don't need to become an actual paying 'member' of a BOT. You can be a 'guest' of someone who is a member, and simply go to an event, and 'carpet bomb' the membership with business cards.

Back to the topic, of BMI.

I wouldn't touch them with a 10 ft pole, nor can I think of anyone who I think I would recommend it to.

I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks

" Only on the subject of God can smart people still imagine that they reap the fruits of human intelligence even as they plow them under." : Sam Harris


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NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:I

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:

I would like to share an experience I had today, see what you guys make of it.  ...

  Anyone familiar with BNI??? 

Never heard of them before. Sound to me like you found a bunch of crazy people.

It also reminds me of AMWAY back in the 1980's only this new group, instead of selling soap, is selling BS.

I never was a group- or, club-type person. They all look like cults to me.

'Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.' A. Einstein


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 My ex was involved in one

 My ex was involved in one of those networking groups.  I'm not sure what the membership was but I'm always weary of groups that require a 'raw, raw!' setting to promote their shit.  If it is legitimate, the church like atmosphere is unnecessary.  I remember going to one of those meetings and I was suspicious the whole time even though it wasn't anywhere as evangelical as you have experienced.  I couldn't quite put my finger on why it was off, but it seemed like they tried way too hard.   I got invited last year to a meeting and I politely passed on it.

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It sounds like it is mostly

It sounds like it is mostly a scam to get your registration fee.  I'm guessing any benefit that comes after that is incidental to the original organizers.

 

I kept waiting to hear that people get money and bonuses for getting new members to sign up, heh.

 

 

Regardless, I'd not be a part of it anyway.  I wouldn't be willing to recommend another business just because we were introduced, I only recommend businesses I know and trust.  The whole thing seems pointless...there should be free and voluntary services in your area that do the same thing, right?

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


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butterbattle

butterbattle wrote:

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
He stood up and said something about helping women find their inner strength and then he held up the 2  90 degree dowsing rods and said "cross" and they crossed and then "striaghten" and they straightened.  I almost pissed my pants right there as everyone clapped for him,

Everyone clapped, huh?

 

*Sigh*...........

 

By the way things went, I'm pretty sure you could have stood up and said "my name is carl, I'm a porn director by day and child mollester by night" and everyone would have still clapped with big smiles.   


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I don't attend meetings like

I don't attend meetings like that.  I get them in the mail - free tickets to dinner!  make a fortune on the internet!  Sure. 

Around here, it is the Chamber of Commerce meetings where you can network if you want.  The one I went to had a bunch of people trying to look like successful business operators - read fake Rolex's for the men and too much makeup for the women.

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

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NoMoreCrazyPeople

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:

butterbattle wrote:

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
He stood up and said something about helping women find their inner strength and then he held up the 2  90 degree dowsing rods and said "cross" and they crossed and then "striaghten" and they straightened.  I almost pissed my pants right there as everyone clapped for him,

Everyone clapped, huh?

 

*Sigh*...........

 

By the way things went, I'm pretty sure you could have stood up and said "my name is carl, I'm a porn director by day and child mollester by night"

"and I was hoping if someone would be my co-sponsor" (holds a peculiar gray token up)

“A meritocratic society is one in which inequalities of wealth and social position solely reflect the unequal distribution of merit or skills amongst human beings, or are based upon factors beyond human control, for example luck or chance. Such a society is socially just because individuals are judged not by their gender, the colour of their skin or their religion, but according to their talents and willingness to work, or on what Martin Luther King called 'the content of their character'. By extension, social equality is unjust because it treats unequal individuals equally.” "Political Ideologies" by Andrew Heywood (2003)


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Sandycane wrote: Never

Sandycane wrote:

 Never heard of them before. Sound to me like you found a bunch of crazy people.

It also reminds me of AMWAY back in the 1980's only this new group, instead of selling soap, is selling BS.

I never was a group- or, club-type person. They all look like cults to me.

Smiling That's kind of what I was thinking when I read his thread as well.

“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno


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The Simpsons: episode Homer

The Simpsons: episode Homer The Great offers an explanation. Watch the episode (specially the plumber scenes), that will make you understand.

 

Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.


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Sandycane wrote: Never heard

Sandycane wrote:

Never heard of them before. Sound to me like you found a bunch of crazy people.

I'm thinking your right.  The thing is though their are certainly successful members ,how big a role the group plays in that is difficult to determine.  This particular chapters leader was an olympic skier and a very charismatic one, allot of the members have websites and the history of their business is veryfiable,  I see the pull factor it could have.  It's funny the further I get from yesterdays breakfast the wierder it seems, just like religion.  While I was there surrounded by everyone and I saw dozens of other invites who owned their own businesses who seemed very interested, it seemed more normal although still strange but not nearly as much as after it all sunk in, it is easy to see why people get drawn in and this behavior becomes the norm.  I was thinking about it all day at work today, and with every passing minute some little strange tidbit I forgot popped into my head.  I was working side by side with the member who invited me today, not a word.  He didn't say a single word about the breakfast, not in 6 hours.  I think this is because he could tell I wasn't interested, sat a little smug at the meeting, and I made some pretty obvious faces at the dowser recruit, many people caught it.  All I know is these people SERIOUSLY dig it, definetly not for me though.    


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Luminon wrote:The Simpsons:

Luminon wrote:

The Simpsons: episode Homer The Great offers an explanation. Watch the episode (specially the plumber scenes), that will make you understand.

 

Or something like this....I was just waiting for them so say "welcome to fight club, HIT ME!!!" or "New members must pass the hidden dangers initiation test"  or "Do you like coolaide?"  Maybe the ground opens up and they have a tin foil spaceship hidden under the golfcourse.   It's something, I don't know what but theirs something going on...


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The BNI group here in NJ was

The BNI group here in NJ was a much different experience... hardly cult-like... kind of boring though...

We have made several successful business connections by going to various business networking meetings... some networking models are better than others...but no matter which one your at, there will be posers, douche bags, and people who aren't very serious... the trick to networking is to figure out who in the room you might have a synergy with...


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NoMoreCrazyPeople

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:

Sandycane wrote:

Never heard of them before. Sound to me like you found a bunch of crazy people.

I'm thinking your right.  The thing is though their are certainly successful members ,how big a role the group plays in that is difficult to determine.  This particular chapters leader was an olympic skier and a very charismatic one, allot of the members have websites and the history of their business is veryfiable,  I see the pull factor it could have.     

Correlation does not equal causation.

Otherwise John Travolta and Tom Cruise would indicate that Scientology is something that=success.

It just indicates how batsh1t crazy people can't cope with living a normal life, so they 'act' instead of getting a real job.

Rich Woods wrote:

The BNI group here in NJ was a much different experience... hardly cult-like... kind of boring though...

We have made several successful business connections by going to various business networking meetings... some networking models are better than others...but no matter which one your at, there will be posers, douche bags, and people who aren't very serious... the trick to networking is to figure out who in the room you might have a synergy with...

I have to completely agree.

I travel a lot, and have to attend many conferences, trade shows, business networks, and there's always some batsh1t crazy people. They're simply part of the fabric of society, and love meeting people, so they're going to be a given, anywhere where people meet.

 

I keep asking myself " Are they just playin' stupid, or are they just plain stupid?..."

"To explain the unknown by the known is a logical procedure; to explain the known by the unknown is a form of theological lunacy" : David Brooks

" Only on the subject of God can smart people still imagine that they reap the fruits of human intelligence even as they plow them under." : Sam Harris


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Sounds a lot like

Sounds a lot like Scamway(aka Amway). A kind of Pyramid scam/cult. They used to recruit a lot in church and gyms that I used to go to. They would have these really friendly people that invite you in to be in on the ground floor of their 'business opportunity' just because they like you.

Taxation is the price we pay for failing to build a civilized society. The higher the tax level, the greater the failure. A centrally planned totalitarian state represents a complete defeat for the civilized world, while a totally voluntary society represents its ultimate success. --Mark Skousen


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cj wrote:I don't attend

cj wrote:

I don't attend meetings like that.  I get them in the mail - free tickets to dinner!  make a fortune on the internet!  Sure.  

I was invited in a sneaky way.  The painter on the site said "you own your own registered business right."  "Yup" I said, "I have some builders and contractors I meat with every once and a while to discuss projects, you should come along you might get some jobs."  I pictured this being 4-5 guys at Ihop or something talking about some current/future developments, turns out to be 80 random clapping chearing people at 8 am.  So right from the get go I feel as though I was deceived, you'd think it's outside the norm enough to warrant a proper description upon invitation, "well... it's a little hectic, lots of people, high energy, and they make you speak in front of the hole group, if your not into that kind of thing I won't sign you up."    Nothing like that, Sneaky sneaky... 


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NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:cj

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:

cj wrote:

I don't attend meetings like that.  I get them in the mail - free tickets to dinner!  make a fortune on the internet!  Sure.  

I was invited in a sneaky way.  The painter on the site said "you own your own registered business right."  "Yup" I said, "I have some builders and contractors I meat with every once and a while to discuss projects, you should come along you might get some jobs."  I pictured this being 4-5 guys at Ihop or something talking about some current/future developments, turns out to be 80 random clapping chearing people at 8 am.  So right from the get go I feel as though I was deceived, you'd think it's outside the norm enough to warrant a proper description upon invitation, "well... it's a little hectic, lots of people, high energy, and they make you speak in front of the hole group, if your not into that kind of thing I won't sign you up."    Nothing like that, Sneaky sneaky... 

 

What a jerk.  I'll be sure to watch out for that kind of sneaky invite.

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

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 I've never been a big fan

 I've never been a big fan of groups like BNI. I wouldn't classify them in the complete scam category because you will network with a few legitimate business people but them problem is that everyone at those meetings is in "sell sell sell" mode. And there really isn't much of a reason to shell out $600.

 

If you are going to spend that kind of money go to a charity dinner, the money will go to a good cause, most of the people there will be successful business people and when you talk to them, they will feel like you have something in common besides wanting to sell something. You will receive a far more favorable impression helping out a charity they care about than you would from attending the same BNI meeting. It is pretty easy and natural to talk to someone sitting at your table and eventually ask "what do you do?" "Do you have a business card?" "Here is mine, call me sometime" and in my experience, those contacts will be far more valuable. 

 

If you want to network with business people simply go places where people spend larger than average amounts of disposable income and time. If you have an actual interest in the activity it is even fun. Charities, political meetings, sportsman clubs, poker clubs, wine clubs, whatever. If you had the disposable income and time where would you go and what would you do? Chances are someone else does too. 

If, if a white man puts his arm around me voluntarily, that's brotherhood. But if you - if you hold a gun on him and make him embrace me and pretend to be friendly or brotherly toward me, then that's not brotherhood, that's hypocrisy.- Malcolm X