awkwaaaard

sidekick
sidekick's picture
Posts: 12
Joined: 2010-11-12
User is offlineOffline
awkwaaaard

my 8 yr old had a friend sleep over last night and the girl started talking about how much she loves god and going to church (it was out of the blue), and my daughter said, "we don't go to church."  her friend was horrified and started asking me (accusing me?) why not.  i have a library of reasons why not, but i kept my cakehole shut and simply said, "i haven't been to church since i was a little girl."  my daughter pretty much ignored her, so i did the same. 

i have no problem answering questions from adults, or even my own kids, but it was weird getting the third degree from someone elses kid. i didn't want her to feel like i think she's stupid, or for her to think my daughter is evil (a ridiculous notion to us, but you know how they are), and was really not in the mood to get a nasty phone call from her parents, but i still felt like schooling this kid.  in the end, the best course of action was following my daugher's lead and ignoring her.  needless to say, i am proud of my kid, i must be doing something right.

I know the answer! The answer lies in the heart of all mankind!...The answer is 12? I think I'm in the wrong building. --Charles M. Schulz


Jeffrick
High Level DonorRational VIP!SuperfanGold Member
Jeffrick's picture
Posts: 2390
Joined: 2008-03-25
User is onlineOnline
Just an idea.

 

 

 

                 Honesty.  Tell her most people do NOT go to church and nothing bad happens to them.  Weather religous or not most people simply do not bother with church;  it is Not wrong;  it IS a choice.  The child is old enough to know what a personal choice is.

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."

VEGETARIAN: Ancient Hindu word for "lousy hunter"

If man was formed from dirt, why is there still dirt?


jcgadfly
SuperfanBronze Member
Posts: 6789
Joined: 2006-07-18
User is offlineOffline
I just hope your little one

I just hope your little one hasn't lost a friend.

Some of the big kids that like to call themselves adults have a hard time with things like this.

"I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions."
— George Carlin


harleysportster
atheist
harleysportster's picture
Posts: 3312
Joined: 2010-10-17
User is offlineOffline
sidekick wrote:my 8 yr old

sidekick wrote:

my 8 yr old had a friend sleep over last night and the girl started talking about how much she loves god and going to church (it was out of the blue), and my daughter said, "we don't go to church."  her friend was horrified and started asking me (accusing me?) why not.  i have a library of reasons why not, but i kept my cakehole shut and simply said, "i haven't been to church since i was a little girl."  my daughter pretty much ignored her, so i did the same. 

i have no problem answering questions from adults, or even my own kids, but it was weird getting the third degree from someone elses kid. i didn't want her to feel like i think she's stupid, or for her to think my daughter is evil (a ridiculous notion to us, but you know how they are), and was really not in the mood to get a nasty phone call from her parents, but i still felt like schooling this kid.  in the end, the best course of action was following my daugher's lead and ignoring her.  needless to say, i am proud of my kid, i must be doing something right.

Your daugher's friend sounds like a product of one of those stricter fundamentalist type households.

I think you did the right thing by making it a non-issue.

IF her parents come around and start asking a whole bunch of questions, then another course of action would probably be required.

 

“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno


Rich Woods
Rational VIP!
Rich Woods's picture
Posts: 868
Joined: 2008-02-06
User is offlineOffline
After telling her that there

After telling her that there was no Santa Claus... you should explain how bleak her future is due to the economy, global warming, and terrorism.... Then  you should give the adorable little runny nosed Tax deduction a cookie, and send her off to bed to have nightmares for the next 8 hours...


sidekick
sidekick's picture
Posts: 12
Joined: 2010-11-12
User is offlineOffline
they appeared to be getting

they appeared to be getting along fine today, and as it turns out, we won't be seeing her again because her mother (who just got out of jail today after having what i can only imagine to be an eventful christmas weekend) is moving her to colorado this week.  the irony hasn't escaped me that the church-going parent spent her savior's b-day in jail.  i hate to be gleeful about others' misfortunes, buuuuuut.....

I know the answer! The answer lies in the heart of all mankind!...The answer is 12? I think I'm in the wrong building. --Charles M. Schulz


harleysportster
atheist
harleysportster's picture
Posts: 3312
Joined: 2010-10-17
User is offlineOffline
sidekick wrote:they appeared

sidekick wrote:

they appeared to be getting along fine today, and as it turns out, we won't be seeing her again because her mother (who just got out of jail today after having what i can only imagine to be an eventful christmas weekend) is moving her to colorado this week.  the irony hasn't escaped me that the church-going parent spent her savior's b-day in jail.  i hate to be gleeful about others' misfortunes, buuuuuut.....

Odd, how I have encountered some Christian people that have no problem screwing other people over, pulling underminded tricks to get people fired on the job, blatantly lie and manipulate certain situations. use and abuse people, and then they turn around and say "But if there was no God, morality doesn't exist. How can an Atheist be moral ?,".

“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno


smartypants
Superfan
smartypants's picture
Posts: 598
Joined: 2009-03-20
User is offlineOffline
Ugh. What stands out for me

Ugh. What stands out for me is "how much she loves going to church." So creepy. Those youth pastors and Sunday school teachers are the worst for all the right and wrong reasons. We had a youth pastor on here a while back. "Right" because they make believing in fairy tales with highly questionable moral outcomes a HAPPY HAPPY FUN TIME for people not old enough to know better. "Wrong" because they put the fear of hellfire and brimstone into the heads of kids who, knowing their conservative Christian parents, have never even seen a movie more racy than G or anywhere near as horrifying and gruesome as the shit in the bible.

I think you did right to just ignore it. Getting into a big confrontation with her fundie parents would have been ugly for everyone and solved nothing. And I hate to say this, but with a mom who gets imprisoned for Christmas, whatever solace the girl gets going to church, maybe it's better to just let her have it.


mellestad
Moderator
Posts: 2927
Joined: 2009-08-19
User is offlineOffline
The whole situation makes me

The whole situation makes me ill.  Kids shouldn't have to deal with religion *at all*, one way or another...it just isn't needed and kids can't defend themselves.

I try to shelter my kid from religious ideas, positive or negative, because she has better things to think about than that.  I dread when she gets old enough that she has to defend herself from indoctrinated children at the risk of friendships.

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


harleysportster
atheist
harleysportster's picture
Posts: 3312
Joined: 2010-10-17
User is offlineOffline
mellestad wrote:The whole

mellestad wrote:

The whole situation makes me ill.  Kids shouldn't have to deal with religion *at all*, one way or another...it just isn't needed and kids can't defend themselves.

I try to shelter my kid from religious ideas, positive or negative, because she has better things to think about than that.  I dread when she gets old enough that she has to defend herself from indoctrinated children at the risk of friendships.

 

A healthy concern. Considering the fact that we seem to live in a world where the theists claim that they have no problem with  our existence. So long as we never say a word and keep all of our non-belief to ourselves and never make mention  to any of them about why we feel the way that we do. So long as we remain hidden, and out of sight, and allow theocratic laws to slip into congress, then they are ok with us.

Yet if we say anything, we are somehow imposing our Atheism on them. Too bad they really can not see the double standards on that one.

“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno


sidekick
sidekick's picture
Posts: 12
Joined: 2010-11-12
User is offlineOffline
smartypants wrote:Ugh. What

smartypants wrote:

Ugh. What stands out for me is "how much she loves going to church." So creepy. Those youth pastors and Sunday school teachers are the worst for all the right and wrong reasons. We had a youth pastor on here a while back. "Right" because they make believing in fairy tales with highly questionable moral outcomes a HAPPY HAPPY FUN TIME for people not old enough to know better. "Wrong" because they put the fear of hellfire and brimstone into the heads of kids who, knowing their conservative Christian parents, have never even seen a movie more racy than G or anywhere near as horrifying and gruesome as the shit in the bible.

I think you did right to just ignore it. Getting into a big confrontation with her fundie parents would have been ugly for everyone and solved nothing. And I hate to say this, but with a mom who gets imprisoned for Christmas, whatever solace the girl gets going to church, maybe it's better to just let her have it.

the parents aren't together but he invited the girl's mom over for xmas, and she decided to get drunk and start hitting him in front of the girl, so he called the cops.  i know the father is not the religious type, so i'm certain it comes from the mother.  the hypocrisy of religious people always kills me.

I know the answer! The answer lies in the heart of all mankind!...The answer is 12? I think I'm in the wrong building. --Charles M. Schulz


Thunderios
atheist
Posts: 261
Joined: 2010-12-26
User is offlineOffline
I wonder what religious

I wonder what religious people would feel if we were to tell them we raised our children to not believe in a God. I suspect they would get a sick feeling in their stomach and think that we do not allow our children to see the good message of the lord and that we are taking their innocence away by infesting them with demons. I don't think they think this literally, but it would be close to describing the feeling.

On the other hand, they are censoring the information their children get.

sidekick wrote:
the hypocrisy of religious people always kills me.

Agreed entirely. My parents told me not to get myself indoctrinated by atheists. I responded saying that they had indoctrinated me my entire life already and that right now they're sending all sorts of people to convince me of christianity, and that I need to arm myself with information. Of course this might be a little bit aggressive of me, but they started it Smiling


marcusfish
Superfan
marcusfish's picture
Posts: 676
Joined: 2007-05-11
User is offlineOffline
Thunderios wrote:...and that

Thunderios wrote:

...and that I need to arm myself with information. Of course this might be a little bit aggressive of me, but they started it Smiling

This is the sadness of our tolerance of religious ideology. The fact that arming ourselves with information in defense of ideology we find irrational could be considered a bad thing is - well, pathetic.

Our society is so coddling of supernatural belief that even reading a book about reality is unfair. CERTAINLY reporting on any of the facts in said book in response to supernatural claims is way out of line.

"You're abusing me with all of your knowledge and reasoning! Just sit there and let me dazzle you with the romance and bright pretty colors of religion!"


EXC
atheist
EXC's picture
Posts: 3139
Joined: 2008-01-17
User is offlineOffline
What pisses me off is church

What pisses me off is church uses all these bribes like candy, pizzas, games, camp, etc... to get the young to like church and then indoctrinate them. Hell if they'd use strippers, beer and satellite TV maybe I'd like church too.

I think you should ask her which fairy tales she still believes in and which ones she does not and why. Then just explain that you think Jesus is a fairy tale.

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.” Seneca


harleysportster
atheist
harleysportster's picture
Posts: 3312
Joined: 2010-10-17
User is offlineOffline
EXC wrote: Hell if they'd

EXC wrote:

 Hell if they'd use strippers, beer and satellite TV maybe I'd like church too.

Forget the satellite tv. Just give me the beer and the strippers ! Preferably outside of a church though.

“It is proof of a base and low mind for one to wish to think with the masses or majority, merely because the majority is the majority. Truth does not change because it is, or is not, believed by a majority of the people.”
― Giordano Bruno


mellestad
Moderator
Posts: 2927
Joined: 2009-08-19
User is offlineOffline
I dunno, nun-themed

I dunno, nun-themed strippers...that's pretty hot.

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


cj
atheistRational VIP!
cj's picture
Posts: 3330
Joined: 2007-01-05
User is offlineOffline
mellestad wrote:I dunno,

mellestad wrote:

I dunno, nun-themed strippers...that's pretty hot.

 

Can we have the Chippendales, can we?  Huh?  Huh?  OH -- BOYS!!!!!!!

 

PS Yeah, I know some are gay, who cares?

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


mellestad
Moderator
Posts: 2927
Joined: 2009-08-19
User is offlineOffline
Alter-boy/nun action huh?

Alter-boy/nun action huh?  Kinky.

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


Watcher
atheist
Posts: 2326
Joined: 2007-07-10
User is offlineOffline
As a child growing up I

As a child growing up I honestly could not tell the difference in my head between communists and satanists.  It was so overly-simplistic back then.  We (christians) were good, non-believers were either ignorant or flat out evil. 

I struggle with how to raise my own children in this manner.  I don't want to just attack religion in front of them or deny them exploring those ideas but I will still give them a somewhat muted personal view of my opinions on it.

I will love my kids no matter what they decide to believe in.  What troubles me is that my fundamentalist mother who is extremely loving, just a wonderful person all around, and the best mother you could ask for, I can't really talk to her about so many things because I'm an atheist.  I can't even admit my opinion on the god question with her.  I couldn't dare.  She would freak.  That pisses me off.  Not at her.  At religion in general.

Even if my kids go completely crazy over religion of any stripe I will be completely open and loving to them.  The only way we will not be that way is if they decide to stop being open to me.  I will respectfully listen to their opinions, clamp down on my own if I disagree, and love them just as much as always.

There is not a single force on this planet that could keep my elderly mother from cutting me off the way she does other than this sick mindfuck of religion.  And I hate it for taking that from me.

P.S.  Rich, your demeaning term for children (tax deduction) was clearly noted.  Guess what?  Go fuck yourself.  If you don't want to have kids, that's fine.  But don't spit on those of us that have a difference of opinion than you.

If I took your intent of that term wrong I apologize in advance, but that's thin ice.

"I am an atheist, thank God." -Oriana Fallaci