Lets All Become Calvinists!
Lets all become Calvinists! No, really. Think about it. We have predestination, so no matter what we do, we can't influence whether we go to heaven or hell! Want to eat babies? Go right ahead! God determined your eternal future even before you were born, so it doesn't matter. Feel like raping your neighbors wife? Your neighbors dog? Hell, feel like raping your neighbor? Just do it! Because nothing, not a single action you may take, will change the course of your eternal destination.
Don't bother evangelizing, because it is pointless. You cannot possibly change the preordained future, so don't waste breath that can better be spent slaughtering communities, twisting the necks off of kittens, and becoming governor of Alaska. It doesn't matter how evil you are by earthly standards. If god pronounced you fit for heaven at the break of creation, to heaven you will go! Ain't it grand?
There, I just punched my neighbor...for no reason! Will I go to heaven? Who knows! God doesn't bother telling us what his primordial decision on that was, but it doesn't matter. Now that I am a Calvinist, I will either get there or I won't. And absolutely nothing I do will ever change that! Woo Hoo!
It takes a village to raise an idiot.
Save a tree, eat a vegetarian.
Sometimes " The Majority " only means that all the fools are on the same side.