Zombie Jesus.....the comic book.

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Zombie Jesus.....the comic book.

http://www.bleedingcool.com/2010/10/25/rob-liefelds-zombie-jesus/

 

ZOMBIE JESUS!

MATTHEW 27:51-52 “The earth shook, the rocks broke and tombs opened and many men and women who had died came back to life again. They left the cemetery and went into the city and appeared to many people there.”

The most disturbing scripture in the Bible revealed! Zombies walked the earth following the crucifixion of Christ! Now the 48 hours following Christ’s Death are revealed!

After the crucifixion, supernatural warfare tore apart the Roman Provinces. Zombie Hordes attacked Jerusalem in search of the corpse of Christ. The Disciples were under siege as the Undead tore apart the countryside and an unlikely hero, LAZARUS THE IMMORTAL emerged to combat the Legion of Dead!

 

 

And this isn't even meant as a joke. Christian zombies, for real.


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 OK, that is actually one

 

OK, that is actually one of the things that bothers me. I really am not into the whole myth theory because at the end of the logic, it is entirely about lack of evidence.

 

Just possibly, there was a real man whose real life was the backdrop of the stories. Possibly, when he lived in Egypt, he learned things about primitive medicine that the Israelites did not know and could not adequately explain. Perhaps Lazarus violated the biblical health code and chowed down on some puffer fish.

 

Which is not to say that god knocked up his mommy. Perhaps before they were married, Joseph was dry humping her. The only person who would know the real truth would be Mary and she would not have much motivation to tell people what the real deal was. Much the same holds true for the rest of the can't possibly be stuff. It only happened around tiny numbers of witnesses and they would not want to talk either.

 

All fine and well for the myth crowd. Perhaps the reason that none of the ancient historians noticed him was because he did not really do anything to stand out from the regular crowd of would be prophets. Who knows how many people there were running around claiming to be god? There are a few hundred of them in the NYC subway system alone and we know about thorazine. I am sure that the Hebrews must have had a problem with them back then.

 

However, the claim that some fairly large number of dead people went walkies should be the sort of thing that Pliny the Younger and the rest of the crowd would have felt compelled to investigate and report on.

 

Heck, it did not even have to be night of the living dead stuff. Perhaps they all went to their favorite bar. Perhaps they got back in their graves the next day. Even so, having a parade of dead people walking through the city should have attracted enough attention that lots of people would have written a letter to someone else.

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Rapture Not Exactly What Christians Hoped it Would Be

 

October 25, 2010

 

Australian Christians dressed up as zombies and walked through capital cities as part of a global representation of the Rapture event depicted in Scripture.

Hyde Park was infiltrated by a staggering, shambling horde yesterday, as participants in the Sydney Christian Zombie Walk held their annual gathering, which first took place in 2006.

It follows events in March and last November, when Christians in zombie costumes lurched around the CBD to highlight the benefits of life without pain or death.

''The earliest Christian zombie walk on record was held in the summer of 2001 in Sacramento, California,'' the group's Facebook page says. ''Zombie Christian walks occur annually the world over.''

<iframe id="dcAd-1-4" src="http://ad-apac.doubleclick.net/adi/onl.smh.news/national/nsw;ctype=article;cat1=nsw;cat=national;pos=3;sz=300x250;tile=4;ord=9.3232359E7?" width='300' height='250' scrolling="no" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" allowtransparency="true" frameborder="0"> </iframe> Will you be my mummy? ... a man gestures to a bemused woman during yesterday&rsquo;s Zombie Walk in Hyde Park.

Why not accept eternal life as a gift from Jesus? ... a man gestures to a bemused woman during yesterday’s Zombie Walk in Hyde Park. Photo: Lee Besford

 

Brisbane also hosted a Christian zombie walk yesterday, and in a separate event in Melbourne, Victorian zombies joined zombies in other cities around the world hoping to break the record of 25,000 Zombie Christians.

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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Atheistextremist

Atheistextremist wrote:
Australian Christians dressed up as zombies and walked through capital cities as part of a global representation of the Rapture event depicted in Scripture.

But...but...Jack Chick told me that Jesus hates Zombies!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1030/1030_01.asp


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behold

 

he is the lord of all zombies...

 

 

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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Athene

Athene wrote:

Atheistextremist wrote:
Australian Christians dressed up as zombies and walked through capital cities as part of a global representation of the Rapture event depicted in Scripture.

But...but...Jack Chick told me that Jesus hates Zombies!

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1030/1030_01.asp

 

Zombies must exist.  It's true!  I saw an article in a supermarket news (?) paper.  Haiti is selling their surplus zombies!  Surplus from what, I wondered.  It is all a nefarious plot!  Maybe Mr. Chick can save us?  Surely he can exorcist them all before they chop him to little pieces!!???!!!!!

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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I was mentioning this to my

I was mentioning this to my wife last night and she was shocked when I told her the Bible talks about mass resurrection.  Even to her (she barely cares about this stuff) she immediately thought something like that would have been a, 'Big Deal'.  Certainly big enough that we'd see some sort of historical record.

 

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


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cj wrote:Zombies must

cj wrote:


Zombies must exist.  It's true!  I saw an article in a supermarket news (?) paper.  Haiti is selling their surplus zombies!  Surplus from what, I wondered.  It is all a nefarious plot!  Maybe Mr. Chick can save us?  Surely he can exorcist them all before they chop him to little pieces!!???!!!!! 

 

 

Better yet, maybe he can't.

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

cj wrote:

Zombies must exist.  It's true!  I saw an article in a supermarket news (?) paper.  Haiti is selling their surplus zombies!  Surplus from what, I wondered.  It is all a nefarious plot!  Maybe Mr. Chick can save us?  Surely he can exorcist them all before they chop him to little pieces!!???!!!!! 

Better yet, maybe he can't.

 

That's a thought.  And then we'll send them your way?

 

I really did see an article some years ago (years before the quake) that surplus Haitian zombies were being sold off - I almost coughed a lung out laughing so hard.  Why do people spend money on those rags?  Oh, yeah, for the laughs.

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.