Howdy

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Howdy

Howdy. My name's Billy Bob. I'm an all American, ex-military, Bible believin' Baptist. I believe every single word of the Bible without exception. I'm not one of those sissy Christians who believe only the parts that sound pretty. I only wear wholecloth. I believe the law should provide for the stoning of disobedient children. I believe Jesus is my Savior.

I look forward to teachin' you atheists a thing or two about there bein' a God. Foremost, I want you all to understand that pretending there's no God won't justify you havin' anal sex or worshipping false idols. God knows He's real and so should you.

In case any of you come at me with the argument, "how do you know your religion is the right one. There's so many religions!" I'll just have you know right up front that the KJV1611 only endorses True Christianity, and that's the only religion that they teach at my church.

I defy you all to prove to me that the Bible is not the inerrant Word of God, and that you are not all damned.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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hello Billy Bob

 

 

 

                  Since you are a true believer in the KJV  (King James was a butt fucker btw).  Could you please explain the first commandment.  "Have no other God before me"   What other gods is your god so up and worried about?

"Very funny Scotty; now beam down our clothes."

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All I have to say is "el oh

All I have to say is "el oh el"


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And do you happen to know

And do you happen to know Leeroy Jenkins?

 


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Jeffrick

Jeffrick wrote:

                  Since you are a true believer in the KJV  (King James was a butt fucker btw).  Could you please explain the first commandment.  "Have no other God before me"   What other gods is your god so up and worried about?

Like most questions, the KJV1611 also contains the answer to that:

Judg:2:11: And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and served Baalim:

Judg:2:13: And they forsook the LORD, and served Baal and Ashtaroth.

Judg:3:7: And the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the LORD, and forgat the LORD their God, and served Baalim and the groves.

Judg:8:33: And it came to pass, as soon as Gideon was dead, that the children of Israel turned again, and went a whoring after Baalim, and made Baal-berith their god.

Judg:10:6: And the children of Israel did evil again in the sight of the LORD, and served Baalim, and Ashtaroth, and the gods of Syria, and the gods of Zidon, and the gods of Moab, and the gods of the children of Ammon, and the gods of the Philistines, and forsook the LORD, and served not him.

Judg:10:10: And the children of Israel cried unto the LORD, saying, We have sinned against thee, both because we have forsaken our God, and also served Baalim.

1Sam:7:3: And Samuel spake unto all the house of Israel, saying, If ye do return unto the LORD with all your hearts, then put away the strange gods and Ashtaroth from among you, and prepare your hearts unto the LORD, and serve him only: and he will deliver you out of the hand of the Philistines.

1Sam:7:4: Then the children of Israel did put away Baalim and Ashtaroth, and served the LORD only.

1Sam:12:10: And they cried unto the LORD, and said, We have sinned, because we have forsaken the LORD, and have served Baalim and Ashtaroth: but now deliver us out of the hand of our enemies, and we will serve thee.

1Sam:31:10: And they put his armour in the house of Ashtaroth: and they fastened his body to the wall of Beth-shan.

1Kgs:18:18: And he answered, I have not troubled Israel; but thou, and thy father's house, in that ye have forsaken the commandments of the LORD, and thou hast followed Baalim.

2Chron:17:3: And the LORD was with Jehoshaphat, because he walked in the first ways of his father David, and sought not unto Baalim;

2Chron:24:7: For the sons of Athaliah, that wicked woman, had broken up the house of God; and also all the dedicated things of the house of the LORD did they bestow upon Baalim.

2Chron:28:2: For he walked in the ways of the kings of Israel, and made also molten images for Baalim.

2Chron:33:3: For he built again the high places which Hezekiah his father had broken down, and he reared up altars for Baalim, and made groves, and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served them.

2Chron:34:4: And they brake down the altars of Baalim in his presence; and the images, that were on high above them, he cut down; and the groves, and the carved images, and the molten images, he brake in pieces, and made dust of them, and strowed it upon the graves of them that had sacrificed unto them.

Jer:2:23: How canst thou say, I am not polluted, I have not gone after Baalim? see thy way in the valley, know what thou hast done: thou art a swift dromedary traversing her ways;

Jer:9:14: But have walked after the imagination of their own heart, and after Baalim, which their fathers taught them:

Hosea:2:13: And I will visit upon her the days of Baalim, wherein she burned incense to them, and she decked herself with her earrings and her jewels, and she went after her lovers, and forgat me, saith the LORD.

Hosea:2:17: For I will take away the names of Baalim out of her mouth, and they shall no more be remembered by their name.

Hosea:11:2: As they called them, so they went from them: they sacrificed unto Baalim, and burned incense to graven images.

Rom:11:4: But what saith the answer of God unto him? I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal.

2Pt:2:15: Which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;

Jude:1:11: Woe unto them! for they have gone in the way of Cain, and ran greedily after the error of Balaam for reward, and perished in the gainsaying of Core.

Rv:2:14: But I have a few things against thee, because thou hast there them that hold the doctrine of Balaam, who taught Balac to cast a stumblingblock before the children of Israel, to eat things sacrificed unto idols, and to commit fornication. ,
 

 

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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robj101 wrote:And do you

robj101 wrote:

And do you happen to know Leeroy Jenkins?

Since you're winkin' at me I'll presume you're joking somehow, even though my first impulse was that you're probably a homer. I don't know any Leeroy Jenkinses personally, no.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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OK, do you believe in the

OK, do you believe in the literal truth of Mark 16:18?

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

OK, do you believe in the literal truth of Mark 16:18?

Mark 16:17-18 (for context) 

 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Darn tootin' I believe that! Every word of it.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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What the fuck is it with christians

 

and their fixation with anal sex? If you secretly want to twiddle your prostate, Billy, why don't you go do it in the privacy of your own home instead of talking about it here?  Maybe we could discuss something specifically relevant - the fact the bible is a total crock of shit, for instance, with no shred of proof beyond the fevered imaginations of pin-dicks like you.

 

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Atheistextremist wrote:and

Atheistextremist wrote:

and their fixation with anal sex? If you secretly want to twiddle your prostate, Billy, why don't you go do it in the privacy of your own home instead of talking about it here?  Maybe we could discuss something specifically relevant - the fact the bible is a total crock of shit, for instance, with no shred of proof beyond the fevered imaginations of pin-dicks like you.

Atheism is nothing more than an excuse for men to have anal sex with eachother. And you accuse me of having a fixation? You atheists will go to any length to justify your perverse sexual wills, even outright denying the existence of God and the truth of the Bible. Tell me, when you stand before God on Judgment Day, and He says to you, "so Atheistextremist, I see that you've had anal sex 650 times," what will be your response? "I was just pretending You weren't real, Lord! It's not personal!" I'm afraid that He will cast you into Hell, where your flesh will perpetually melt off your bones while you are anally raped by enormous demons with serrated tallywackers for all eternity.

Come to the Lord before it's too late!

Have you been baptised?

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Chuckle

 

You are fucken hilarious, Billy Bob. Serrated tallywhackers. Yikes. Which of our resident nutcases are you? In any case, don't go away. It's been a bit quiet around here and an All American baptist is welcome.

What the fuck is 'All American' anyway. Aren't you guys a compilation of the earth's poor huddled masses and consequently, the world's first and most successful multicultural society?

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Atheistextremist wrote:You

Atheistextremist wrote:

You are fucken hilarious, Billy Bob. Serrated tallywhackers. Yikes. Which of our resident nutcases are you? In any case, don't go away. It's been a bit quiet around here and an All American baptist is welcome.

What the fuck is 'All American' anyway. Aren't you guys a compilation of the earth's poor huddled masses and consequently, the world's first and most successful multicultural society?

"All American" means I love baseball and apple pie, I never eat swiss cheese, and I vote Republican 'cause I love America. I think they ought to deport that communist negra who infiltrated the White House, spreading his perverse islamic ideals through subliminal messages, and all the while reporting to Kenya, that communist traitor. That's what a True American believes in.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

OK, do you believe in the literal truth of Mark 16:18?

Mark 16:17-18 (for context) 

 

 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Darn tootin' I believe that! Every word of it.

 

Then do you bring rattle snakes with you to church?

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

OK, do you believe in the literal truth of Mark 16:18?

Mark 16:17-18 (for context) 

 

 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Darn tootin' I believe that! Every word of it.

 

Then do you bring rattle snakes with you to church?

Heck no, I ain't no pew jumpin' penecostal! They're all damned! That "tongues" they talk is just them communin' with DEMONS. You might as well worship buffalo and do yoga if you're gonna be a penecostal.

Luke 4:12 (King James Version)

 

 12And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

penecostals is a bunch of snake fondling God tempters.

 

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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This will certainly be an

This will certainly be an entertaining thread.  It's too obvious when you play to all of the obnoxious stereotypes.  Sophisticated trolling is a much more subtle art form. 


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v4ultingbassist wrote:This

v4ultingbassist wrote:

This will certainly be an entertaining thread.  It's too obvious when you play to all of the obnoxious stereotypes.  Sophisticated trolling is a much more subtle art form. 

  Will you find it entertaining in Hell with an arse full of satan's sizzling six-hundred degree spunk, atheist? You're just telling yourself whatever you have to tell yourself so you can ignore the power of my words, which are thickly laced with the Holy Spirit. I know you love sin, and you are afraid to change your foul ways. What is the sin that has led you to atheism? Is it fornication? Sodomy? Stop lying to yourself and to the world. Come to Jesus.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:Will

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

Will you find it entertaining in Hell with an arse full of satan's sizzling six-hundred degree spunk, atheist?

 

Haha, like I said, entertaining.  But the character you are trying to play wouldn't be clever enough to be so witty, would he?


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Welcome to the forum, Billy

Welcome to the forum, Billy Bob.

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
I believe every single word of the Bible without exception.

Literally? Everything? Including all of Genesis and Revelation? Exodus? Leviticus? Deuteronomy? Numbers? Job?

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
I believe the law should provide for the stoning of disobedient children.

I'm tempted to call Poe.

But, anyways, do you have children? So, if there was law providing for the stoning of disobedient children, would you stone your children?

How about rape victims who don't cry out?

If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city. Deuteronomy 22:23-24

Or people in your own family that turn to other Gods?

If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;

Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:

But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. Deuteronomy 13:6-10

Or how about people that gather sticks on the sabbath?

And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day.

And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.

And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him.

And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses. Numbers 15:32-36

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
In case any of you come at me with the argument, "how do you know your religion is the right one. There's so many religions!" I'll just have you know right up front that the KJV1611 only endorses True Christianity, and that's the only religion that they teach at my church.

Okay, how do you know that this religion is the right one?

And....you do know that the KJV is translated from other languages, right?

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
I defy you all to prove to me that the Bible is not the inerrant Word of God, and that you are not all damned.

Since the theist is making the positive claim, can you prove beyond a reasonable that the Bible is the word of God and that we are damned?

Okay, I'll bite anyways. Let's start simple. In Genesis 1, God makes day and night before he makes the sun and the moon. How is this possible?

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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v4ultingbassist wrote:Haha,

v4ultingbassist wrote:

Haha, like I said, entertaining.  But the character you are trying to play wouldn't be clever enough to be so witty, would he?

Thank you for the complement, atheist. I am pretty clever, aren't I?

But that is just how you secular types are. You gloss the conversation up with complements and big words, all the while ignoring Jesus and hoping everyone will just forget about His Law. You think maybe if you're charismatic enough, you can hypnotize everyone into some sort of messy perversion that will make their junk sting and make them late for church the next morning. But a Man of God knows better than to fall for your depraved schemes.

 

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Heh, I wish I could say that

Heh, I wish I could say that I'm certain this is satire. But, I've seen enough crazy in my time......... 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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This is much too obvious.

This is much too obvious. Apparently I suddenly need to be stoned for the anal sex in which I have absolutely no interest.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
Thank you for the complement, atheist. I am pretty clever, aren't I?

But that is just how you secular types are. You gloss the conversation up with complements and big words, all the while ignoring Jesus and hoping everyone will just forget about His Law. You think maybe if you're charismatic enough, you can hypnotize everyone into some sort of messy perversion that will make their junk sting and make them late for church the next morning. But a Man of God knows better than to fall for your depraved schemes.

 

 

You're getting better, but 'hypnotize,' 'perversion' and 'depraved' are words likely too big for such a simple mind as you hope to portray, no?  Axe-wielders are hardly concerned with dictionaries and thesauruses.  It's all about hard work, beer, and pussy.  Certainly you know that?

 

Butterbattle, definitely Poe.

 


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A lyrical high point

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

 

satan's sizzling six-hundred degree spunk.

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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The current zenith of humour

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

some sort of messy perversion that will make their junk sting and make them late for church the next morning.

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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butterbattle wrote:Welcome

butterbattle wrote:

Welcome to the forum, Billy Bob.

Thank you for being civilized, and not behaving like the monkeys you worship, darwinist.

 

Quote:
Literally? Everything? Including all of Genesis and Revelation? Exodus? Leviticus? Deuteronomy? Numbers? Job?
That's what I said.

Quote:
I'm tempted to call Poe.
Edgar Allen Poe won't save you from the flames of Hell.

Quote:
But, anyways, do you have children? So, if there was law providing for the stoning of disobedient children, would you stone your children?
I have three sons. Had four daughters but I gave 'em up for adoption. What are daughters good for anyway? Bleeding all over the place?

You bet I would stone my children -for a pattern of disobedience- if the cowardly secularists would allow it.  

Quote:
How about rape victims who don't cry out?

If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her; Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city. Deuteronomy 22:23-24

Or people in your own family that turn to other Gods?

If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

Namely, of the gods of the people which are round about you, nigh unto thee, or far off from thee, from the one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth;

Thou shalt not consent unto him, nor hearken unto him; neither shall thine eye pity him, neither shalt thou spare, neither shalt thou conceal him:

But thou shalt surely kill him; thine hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people.

And thou shalt stone him with stones, that he die; because he hath sought to thrust thee away from the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt, from the house of bondage. Deuteronomy 13:6-10

Or how about people that gather sticks on the sabbath?

And while the children of Israel were in the wilderness, they found a man that gathered sticks upon the sabbath day.

And they that found him gathering sticks brought him unto Moses and Aaron, and unto all the congregation.

And they put him in ward, because it was not declared what should be done to him.

And the LORD said unto Moses, The man shall be surely put to death: all the congregation shall stone him with stones without the camp.

And all the congregation brought him without the camp, and stoned him with stones, and he died; as the LORD commanded Moses. Numbers 15:32-36

I see nothing wrong with stoning any of these people, as it is clearly the Lord's will.

 

Quote:
Okay, how do you know that this religion is the right one?
Mine is the only religion that is supported by the KJV1611. All other religions worship demons disguised as angels of light.

Quote:
And....you do know that the KJV is translated from other languages, right?
It doesn't matter. English is the language that Jesus thought in. That's why it is the perfect language for the KJV1611 to be written in.

Quote:
Since the theist is making the positive claim, can you prove beyond a reasonable that the Bible is the word of God and that we are damned?
Since God has seniority, it is YOU who bears the burden of proof.

Quote:
Okay, I'll bite anyways. Let's start simple. In Genesis 1, God makes day and night before he makes the sun and the moon. How is this possible?

Simple. It was a miracle.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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v4ultingbassist

v4ultingbassist wrote:

 

 

Butterbattle, definitely Poe.

 

Was my assumption from the start, much too obvious. Good portrayl of an excellent reason to be an atheist though I'll give um that.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

 

You bet I would stone my children -for a pattern of disobedience- if the cowardly secularists would allow it.  

 

So you fear secularists more than God?  He certainly won't be happy with you, then.


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v4ultingbassist wrote:You're

v4ultingbassist wrote:

You're getting better, but 'hypnotize,' 'perversion' and 'depraved' are words likely too big for such a simple mind as you hope to portray, no?  Axe-wielders are hardly concerned with dictionaries and thesauruses.  It's all about hard work, beer, and pussy.  Certainly you know that?

I am very well rounded. I read a lot (the Bible).

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Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:It

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
It doesn't matter. English is the language that Jesus thought in. That's why it is the perfect language for the KJV1611 to be written in.

 

Haha, this is hilarious!


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

butterbattle wrote:

 

And....you do know that the KJV is translated from other languages, right?

It doesn't matter. English is the language that Jesus thought in. That's why it is the perfect language for the KJV1611 to be written in.

Lol good one.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:I am

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

I am very well rounded.

 

From all the Budweiser, right?


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v4ultingbassist wrote:Billy

v4ultingbassist wrote:

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
It doesn't matter. English is the language that Jesus thought in. That's why it is the perfect language for the KJV1611 to be written in.

 

Haha, this is hilarious!

Bah beat me too it.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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robj101 wrote:Bah beat me

robj101 wrote:

Bah beat me too it.

 

It was worth getting quoted twice.


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v4ultingbassist wrote:So you

v4ultingbassist wrote:

So you fear secularists more than God?  He certainly won't be happy with you, then.

1 Peter 2:13-14 (King James Version)

 

 13Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;

 14Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.

 

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

v4ultingbassist wrote:

So you fear secularists more than God?  He certainly won't be happy with you, then.

1 Peter 2:13-14 (King James Version)

 

 13Submit yourselves to every ordinance of man for the Lord's sake: whether it be to the king, as supreme;

 14Or unto governors, as unto them that are sent by him for the punishment of evildoers, and for the praise of them that do well.

 

Excellent quote, a good point ole king james made sure was "translated" properly I'm sure.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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I'm going to bed now, I hope

I'm going to bed now, I hope to wake in the morning to a bit of comic relief in the continuation of this thread.

Faith is the word but next to that snugged up closely "lie's" the want.
"By simple common sense I don't believe in god, in none."-Charlie Chaplin


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Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:I

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
I have three sons. Had four daughters but I gave 'em up for adoption. What are daughters good for anyway? Bleeding all over the place?

....

It doesn't matter. English is the language that Jesus thought in. That's why it is the perfect language for the KJV1611 to be written in.

Lol, I'm sorry. If you had toned it down a bit, I might have given another serious response, but this is too much.

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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Billy Bob

 

how would you define free will? Is free will a sort of universal constant or is it a subjective experience - something we can imagine but never really attain?

Also, do you think there is anything to be read into the fact it was Eve who tricked Adam into eating of the magic breadfruit tree and not the other way around?

After all, Eve had been talking parsel mouth with that snake. I wonder if it was a metaphor for something else.

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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Additionally,

 

Atheists struggle with the multiplicity of gods. There are so many it's hard to know which to worship. D'you think Allah and God Almighty/Jesus/Holy Ghost are really the one person? Personally I don't want to worship Osama's god and I'd be disheartened to find we were all praying to the same god-thing.

 

"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

v4ultingbassist wrote:

You're getting better, but 'hypnotize,' 'perversion' and 'depraved' are words likely too big for such a simple mind as you hope to portray, no?  Axe-wielders are hardly concerned with dictionaries and thesauruses.  It's all about hard work, beer, and pussy.  Certainly you know that?

I am very well rounded. I read a lot (the Bible).

 

Know what, pum'kin?  The word "hypnotize" is not in the bible.  Know why?  Because hypnotism had not been invented when King James ordered the bible translated.

And for your info, I'm a grandmother and totally uninterested in homosexual sex of any sort.  Just why are you so concerned about it?  Have some yearnings in that direction yourself? 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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Bill Bob Jenkins wrote:Darn tootin'

    Well howdy,pull up a chair and "Welcome to the Machine" enlighten us about the absurdities of religion. 

Signature ? How ?


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Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:Will

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

Will you find it entertaining in Hell with an arse full of satan's sizzling six-hundred degree spunk, atheist?

ha!  caught you, you sumbitch!  nobody south of the mason-dixon says or writes "arse."  it's "ass," occasionally pronounced "ace" in some areas.

"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

OK, do you believe in the literal truth of Mark 16:18?

Mark 16:17-18 (for context) 

 

 17And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;

 18They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Darn tootin' I believe that! Every word of it.

 

Then do you bring rattle snakes with you to church?

Heck no, I ain't no pew jumpin' penecostal! They're all damned! That "tongues" they talk is just them communin' with DEMONS. You might as well worship buffalo and do yoga if you're gonna be a penecostal.

Luke 4:12 (King James Version)

 

 12And Jesus answering said unto him, It is said, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.

penecostals is a bunch of snake fondling God tempters.

 

 

OK, no rattle snakes in church.  Not because you can (you have already admitted that you totally can), rather because you prefer to make your nonsense ramblings sound like actual words (no speaking in tongues).  Despite the fact that it was you who quoted Mark 16:17 and went on to state that the speaking in tongues thing is totally fine by you.

NoMoreCrazyPeople wrote:
Never ever did I say enything about free, I said "free."

=


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Atheistextremist wrote:how

Atheistextremist wrote:

how would you define free will? Is free will a sort of universal constant or is it a subjective experience - something we can imagine but never really attain?

Also, do you think there is anything to be read into the fact it was Eve who tricked Adam into eating of the magic breadfruit tree and not the other way around?

After all, Eve had been talking parsel mouth with that snake. I wonder if it was a metaphor for something else.

Free will is a property God gave to human beings that allows us to either obey His Law, or choose Hell. Eve used her free will to beguile Adam, even as the serpent beguiled her. If there is anything to be read into that it is just the obvious: that woman have loose morals and must be supervised by their fathers or husbands at all times. They shouldn't be driving cars, surfing the internet, or acting in pornos. They should be baking pies, scrubbing floors, and plowing their husband's fields. Men are like gods compared to womenfolk:

Ephesians 5:22-24 (King James Version)

 22Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

 23For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 24Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

As far as metaphors, there ain't no metphors in the Bible except when God says there is, like in the parables of Jesus. God means exactly what He says and says exactly what He means. It is not written in code.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Atheistextremist

Atheistextremist wrote:

Atheists struggle with the multiplicity of gods. There are so many it's hard to know which to worship. D'you think Allah and God Almighty/Jesus/Holy Ghost are really the one person? Personally I don't want to worship Osama's god and I'd be disheartened to find we were all praying to the same god-thing.

"Allah" is just a lesser moon demon that the muslims worship. Very different from God. God could smite Allah and all the muslims but He keeps them around a) to test our faith and b) because they can occasionally be used as vehicles of His Wrath, such as when they were used to kill 3,000 Godmocking atheists on 9-11-01.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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cj wrote:Know what,

cj wrote:

Know what, pum'kin?  The word "hypnotize" is not in the bible.  Know why?  Because hypnotism had not been invented when King James ordered the bible translated.

And for your info, I'm a grandmother and totally uninterested in homosexual sex of any sort.  Just why are you so concerned about it?  Have some yearnings in that direction yourself? 

I was homeschooled and my momma took great pains to see that I was properly educated. She taught me all about the subliminal satanic messages that the liberal media use to hypnotise and brainwash the feeble minded and impressionable secular masses.

While maybe not every atheist is a practicing homersexural, you are going to be hard pressed to convince me that you aren't into anal. I was taught that atheism is just a way that people try to justify having it, and that having it is the reason people came up with atheism.

It is also a well known fact that atheists practice abortionism. Abortionism is a philosophy and a way of life that says it is good to impregnate women and vacuum out the fetuses. These fetuses are sometimes kept in little jars or fish tanks, and sometimes they are used in satanic ritual. It all depends on the particular sect of atheism you are dealing with.

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

OK, no rattle snakes in church.  Not because you can (you have already admitted that you totally can), rather because you prefer to make your nonsense ramblings sound like actual words (no speaking in tongues).  Despite the fact that it was you who quoted Mark 16:17 and went on to state that the speaking in tongues thing is totally fine by you.

  Now you're trying to make it sound like I approve of the demon worship that those pentecostal folks engage in. The pentecostals have twisted God's Word to suit their own twisted fantasies whereby they can indulge in poison drinking and snake fondling. I have already explained how they are scripturally incorrect and see no further reason to go on redeeming myself. I am a Baptist! And that is that!

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:cj

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:

cj wrote:

Know what, pum'kin?  The word "hypnotize" is not in the bible.  Know why?  Because hypnotism had not been invented when King James ordered the bible translated.

And for your info, I'm a grandmother and totally uninterested in homosexual sex of any sort.  Just why are you so concerned about it?  Have some yearnings in that direction yourself? 

I was homeschooled and my momma took great pains to see that I was properly educated. She taught me all about the subliminal satanic messages that the liberal media use to hypnotise and brainwash the feeble minded and impressionable secular masses.

While maybe not every atheist is a practicing homersexural, you are going to be hard pressed to convince me that you aren't into anal. I was taught that atheism is just a way that people try to justify having it, and that having it is the reason people came up with atheism.

It is also a well known fact that atheists practice abortionism. Abortionism is a philosophy and a way of life that says it is good to impregnate women and vacuum out the fetuses. These fetuses are sometimes kept in little jars or fish tanks, and sometimes they are used in satanic ritual. It all depends on the particular sect of atheism you are dealing with.

 

-- I feel so much better since I stopped trying to believe.

"We are entitled to our own opinions. We're not entitled to our own facts"- Al Franken

"If death isn't sweet oblivion, I will be severely disappointed" - Ruth M.


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I'll tell you what, life

I'll tell you what, life sure is awesome when you're a practicing homersexural AND abortionist.  Because obviously homosexuals need abortion when they get pregnant through anal sex.  Your momma didn't teach you so well, did she?


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v4ultingbassist wrote:I'll

v4ultingbassist wrote:

I'll tell you what, life sure is awesome when you're a practicing homersexural AND abortionist.  Because obviously homosexuals need abortion when they get pregnant through anal sex.  Your momma didn't teach you so well, did she?

Abortionism is a practice of child sacrifice that homers and non-homer atheists alike engage in to mock God and please their master satan. Of course they don't "need" it. What they need is Jesus and Salvation!

The Truest Christian these atheists will ever meet. I worship the only Lord at the Church with the Truest Christians: Landover Baptist.


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Billy Bob Jenkins

Billy Bob Jenkins wrote:
Abortionism is a practice of child sacrifice that homers and non-homer atheists alike engage in to mock God and please their master satan. Of course they don't "need" it. What they need is Jesus and Salvation!

 

But weren't you touting there is no such thing as a non-homer atheist?