some thoughts on the muse, the ineffable concept of the suspended fourth, etc.
Offline yeah, the subject has nothing to do with anything, but since this site is becoming more poetry friendly, it's as relevant as anything else, i guess. here's a couple more of mine:
when i'm on the bus
the laugh of the young girls
makes me not know
what to think
i am quiet
and they laugh
it's a fair arrangement
.............................................
5 years ago
i was in a small village
outside frankfurt, germany
one night i prayed
in the toilet
that i could curl up
with a bottle
and listen to tom waits
and dream of
drinking scoresby
at 4 a.m.
in savannah, georgia
then i met a german girl
with blonde hair
a bit thick
but that's how i like them
she didn't speak english
we used to smile
at each other
in the hall
every day
and that's as far
as we ever took it
it was the best fuck
of my life
"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen
and that is all I have to say. Allen Ginsberg you are not, or maybe you are. Gay bar lately?
Like them both - favour the simplicity of the first. Really like that one. Good-oh.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
Eternity of now
how can words unstitch a moment and hand it over
my chair’s press, this window view, the wild heat of
local trees giving up their share of sun. in the rustling
quiet a slash of red wintering birds changing seats and
over the lawn and the falling fence, down the long hill,
the fish river bridge waits silently for trains
SiO2.nH2O
bury me in room 16 at the white cliffs motel
up that tyre-bruise lane of gibber jags, through
the dining room and down the cool hall to my bed
in the cretaceous palm of a yester-lake
i’ll drink the desert water and all our days
lay them out, regularly, in their colours
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
well, considering ginsberg is dead, probably not.
"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen
i like 'em. the way you toy around with words (e.g., "fish river bridge," "tyre-bruise" ) sort of reminds me of dylan thomas, though you don't have as much focus as dylan thomas (that is a neutral observation).
also, i like poems that use first person future, which is why i like your second one better. probably because i think van morrison's "sweet thing" off astral weeks is one of the best songs ever written, and it's entirely in that tense. funny how i almost never use it. i think it's because i tend to live in the past or present, like bukowski.
thanks for the kind words, btw.
"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen
I love this site!!!
disjointed
seemingly random
to critique an aesthetic tandem
snapshots of thoughts
as quick as I can scan them
become pictures in my mind
and back to you I hand them
This part right here is depressing because it reminds me a lot (not word-for-word, mind you) of my current circumstances and my occasionally deranged and chaotic mind.
I call it A Bloody Greek Tragedy.
blablablah
This is a simple and strong moment of comprehension. Nice one.
"Experiments are the only means of knowledge at our disposal. The rest is poetry, imagination." Max Planck
i suppose this is a perfect example of varying perspectives. i don't like to analyze poems, especially my own, and none of them have any particular message, but i can say i didn't write this poem in a depression at all. it was my attempt to capture a moment of bewildering beauty. i suppose there could be a slight melancholy note to it, but over all i think i come across as quite comfortable.
"I asked my father,
I said, 'Father change my name.'
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame."
--Leonard Cohen