Review: 2012 refreshingly lame

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Review: 2012 refreshingly lame

No spoilers (nothing to spoil! Self-spoiling)

Ahhhh, nothing kills a silly superstition than a big budget formula Hollywood movie that takes it as its core premise.

To think, I once feared this movie could actually *inspire* further mass-delusion into the 2012 'galactic doomsday conspiracy' theory. What was I thinking? This is just the antidote!

"Wait, you mean you believe that? I thought it was just a movie!"

"No, no, the movie was crap. But there's a *real* 2012 Mayan calendar planetary shift pole-switch government cover-up --"

"Uh, whatever."

"No, no, please believe me, it's real! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!"

"I gotta go ... shampoo, uh ... my cat ... or something." *runs away*

"Stupid Woody Harrelson, with the pickles. Gah!"

Some nice disaster effects. That's about it. Thandie Newton, oh, yeah, almost forgot.

Thank Jake for schlock.

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Ken G.
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natural wrote:refreshingly lame

  You gotta be kidden,you wasted time and money watching that crap.

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I heard about the same. I'll

I heard about the same. I'll watch it some day for the effects, the poor intellect, and one particular scene I heard about involving the vatican...

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Neutrinos destroy the

Neutrinos destroy the earth?

 

Whatever.  Let's try neutrinos don't even notice the earth.  It could be midnight wherever you are and you are not getting bathed by fewer solar neutrinos simply because the mass of the entire earth is not relevant to them.

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Roland never let silly stuff

Roland never let silly stuff like reality effect his work before, why start now? Hahaha!

I'm planning on going to see it, because who doesn't like a good comedy with super disaster special effects?

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Ken G. wrote:  You gotta be

Ken G. wrote:

  You gotta be kidden,you wasted time and money watching that crap.

Thandie Newton. You forgot.

Actually, I just went to see the planet blowed up. There were a couple silly chuckles, too.

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Vastet wrote: and one

Vastet wrote:
and one particular scene I heard about involving the vatican...

That was one of the silly chuckles. It was so gratuitous, you couldn't help but laugh. Another was the airlifting of animals. Just so fucking silly.

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Answers in Gene Simmons

Answers in Gene Simmons wrote:

Neutrinos destroy the earth?

 

Whatever.  Let's try neutrinos don't even notice the earth.  It could be midnight wherever you are and you are not getting bathed by fewer solar neutrinos simply because the mass of the entire earth is not relevant to them.

No, no, see these neutrinos *mutated* into a different *species* of subatomic particle!

And that was within the first 5 minutes of the movie. All sense of non-silliness went out the window after that.

By the way, the first scene shows the 'galactic alignment' with some very dodgy planetary physics. I was about to let that slide, and then the mutating neutrinos just ... I don't know what else to say. They just ....

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natural wrote:Vastet wrote:

natural wrote:

Vastet wrote:
and one particular scene I heard about involving the vatican...

That was one of the silly chuckles. It was so gratuitous, you couldn't help but laugh. Another was the airlifting of animals. Just so fucking silly.

They're big pussies for not showing Mecca being destroyed as well. It did suck. The other ridiculous thing was people buying their way onto the arcs, like money was going to be any good after the world ended.

 

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They bought their way onto

They bought their way onto the arcs because the project needed the funding, not because their money would be worth something after the fact.  How could you miss that in the puddle of the plot?

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Thomathy wrote:They bought

Thomathy wrote:

They bought their way onto the arcs because the project needed the funding, not because their money would be worth something after the fact.  How could you miss that in the puddle of the plot?

But if the world was ending in a few months, the last thing you'd want is a bunch of paper notes. So for the people letting people into the arc and building it, why would want money they couldn't spend? Or they were just out to trick people by giving them a bunch of money to build it and  then letting them die?

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EXC wrote:Thomathy

EXC wrote:

Thomathy wrote:

They bought their way onto the arcs because the project needed the funding, not because their money would be worth something after the fact.  How could you miss that in the puddle of the plot?

But if the world was ending in a few months, the last thing you'd want is a bunch of paper notes. So for the people letting people into the arc and building it, why would want money they couldn't spend? Or they were just out to trick people by giving them a bunch of money to build it and  then letting them die?

You saw the same movie I did, right?  The plot is really thin.  It's all there on the screen.  There's not much nuance.  At the time, the project needed funding.  People who could pay were ostensibly approached for funding.  The money was spent at the time to secure resources and to pay to build the arcs.  The people who built them, if you recall, were going to be left for dead.  Actually paying off the notes for the resources didn't much matter after the fact, did it?  But to the people not in the know, they thought they were making money because they didn't know that the world as they knew it (and their lives) were ending.  The pay off for the people who helped finance the arcs were seats on the arcs -their lives.  It's not complicated.

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It was a decent movie and I

It was a decent movie and I enjoyed it, despite the one dimensional characters and the cliche plot.

Vastet wrote:
I heard about the same. I'll watch it some day for the effects, the poor intellect, and one particular scene I heard about involving the vatican...

What are you talking about? The only thing about the vatican I remeber is, after the end of the world was anounced, the pope was giving a speach to the faithful and then an earthquake struck that destroyed the vatican.


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Waiting for Oblivion

Waiting for Oblivion wrote:

It was a decent movie and I enjoyed it, despite the one dimensional characters and the cliche plot.

Seconded.  Further, I don't watch movies because I think they'll be intelligent or anything similar (hence my vehement avoidance of dramas or art films); I watch movies so that I can enjoy a kind of mindless stupor.  It's about the only time in my life when I don't really need to think and I really enjoy that.  Give me something for which I can suspend reality that has moving images and a puddle deep plot and I'll watch it, drooling and stuffing my face with popcorn.  That's a good movie for me.

If I want to think, I read a book.  Not odd that I like to read books more.

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Waiting for Oblivion

Waiting for Oblivion wrote:

It was a decent movie and I enjoyed it, despite the one dimensional characters and the cliche plot.

Vastet wrote:
I heard about the same. I'll watch it some day for the effects, the poor intellect, and one particular scene I heard about involving the vatican...

What are you talking about? The only thing about the vatican I remeber is, after the end of the world was anounced, the pope was giving a speach to the faithful and then an earthquake struck that destroyed the vatican.

I was told that *Spoilers* the vatican collapsed upon a crowd of millions of christians stubbornly refusing to accept that their holy land was lost in the face of evidence to the contrary, and congregated by the millions to the very seat of their god, only to have the seat itself crush them to pulp. I find the irony to be breathtaking; and out of the entire movie it's also the most likely event to occur in some form.

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Vastet wrote: I was told

Vastet wrote:
I was told that *Spoilers* the vatican collapsed upon a crowd of millions of christians stubbornly refusing to accept that their holy land was lost in the face of evidence to the contrary, and congregated by the millions to the very seat of their god, only to have the seat itself crush them to pulp. I find the irony to be breathtaking; and out of the entire movie it's also the most likely event to occur in some form.

This hapened but I'm not sure if the reason they gathered was stated.


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Thomathy wrote:I don't watch

Thomathy wrote:
I don't watch movies because I think they'll be intelligent or anything similar (hence my vehement avoidance of dramas or art films); I watch movies so that I can enjoy a kind of mindless stupor.  It's about the only time in my life when I don't really

need

to think and I really enjoy that.  Give me something for which I can suspend reality that has moving images and a puddle deep plot and I'll watch it, drooling and stuffing my face with popcorn.  That's a good movie for me.

If I want to think, I read a book.  Not odd that I like to read books more.

Interesting. I would say that I still watch some movies for the mindlessness effect. Action movies come to mind.

However, I have developed a bit of a taste for 'thinking' movies. Not artsy movies aka 'film' or 'cinema', but intelligent ones that make me think, like The Matrix or Memento or Fight Club, or dozens of other examples.

I took two film courses in University, for my electives. One was called Popular Contemporary American Film, and we saw things like The Godfather, Falling Down, Groundhog Day, etc. Another was called Science Fiction and Fantasy Films, and we saw things like Aliens, the original War of the Worlds, Star Wars, and some fantasy ones I can't remember.

The courses were taught by a real live film professor, and she made us analyze the films using basic film analysis methods, and we had to write essays and commentary. It turned out to be quite an interesting couple of courses, although I absolutely sucked at writing essays ("Aliens was so cool. I liked it a lot. Wow. That's the sixth time I've seen it and I still love it. Umm, what else is there to say?" Grade: D- ).

But after those courses, the idea of analyzing the symbols and metaphors in movies (yes, movies, not 'film') stuck with me, and grew on me. I daresay I've gotten much better at analyzing movies (and even books and other art) over the years. I could probably write a B+ essay these days.

I think it was this experience that expanded my appreciation for watching movies not just for the mindlessness effect, but even to analyze 'bad' movies for the symbols, metaphors, and messages they are trying to portray. I actually enjoy thinking as I watch movies.

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Even the "fantastic"(meaning

Even the "fantastic"(meaning clearly accepted as entertainment) in the past 15 years have SUCKED as far as special effects.

The last thing I want to feel when watching a movie UNLESS it is sold as an animated feature, is to feel like I am playing an X-box game. "Titanic" on top of being horribly acted like the original movie in black and white that resembeled a stage play, it mixed models of the ship with computer generated shots zooming down on the deck of the ship.

But this is the culture of our time. EVEN in sports the NFL treats you like you are retarded by super imposing a "down" graphic on the field as if you cant already read the down on the banner the super imposed at the top or bottom of the screen. Or the long time viewers who LISTEN to the announcers and SEE the orange and black 10 yard sticks THAT ARE REALLY ON THE FIELD.

But this movie I have no desire to see. Looking at the spots it looks like a bunch of computer tecs masturbating over their skills. If they want to fool your eye, they should take lessons from the makers of the original Star Wars.

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Meh I wasn't a fan

Meh I wasn't a fan considering the attention the flick got about destryoing the vatican, cristo in brazil, but not anything muslim. Fox Noise says that it's easier to bash christianity then islam because christians are peacful enough not to fly a plane into building. /facepalm


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sorry for reviving a dead

sorry for reviving a dead topic but I feel this must be said since I just watched it....

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH..HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH...... HA

 

Dispite it being a truely horrible movie there was one part I quite liked. That part right at the end where, where I live south Africa is perfectly fine! Oh and the comical way the guy says kwa-zulu-Natal which happens to be the provence I live in. and also how the drakensburg becomes the highest point in the world which happens to be where my dad lives. Overall a nice ending to a bad movie so once again HA! I laugh at all you americans and brits etc. And i secretly hope it happens and it happens that way!

 

But seriously crap movie that I cannot reccomend to anyone.... but more importantly the way the guy said kwa-zulu-natal had me on the floor laughing.

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