A Funeral ? No Thanks

Ken G.
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A Funeral ? No Thanks

   I'm doing a little survey about Funerals,I myself feel that this ritual is so macabre and sad, and I was just wondering what you all feel about this subject ?


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Well, I have been to

Well, I have been to two funerals and one wake in my 46 years. So yah, I tend to avoid them.

 

First off, as far as the dead person goes, well they are dead. Not really very much to say past that.

 

Second, if one must attend such things, one is clearly doing it for the benefit of the survivors.

 

The last time was the wake for the mother of a friend of mine whom I have known since I was a teenager. As I say, the dead lady is not impressed but it seemed to be important to let my friend know that I am there for her during her grief. Having the stiff out on display really did not do anything for me, not the least because she had made me lunch/dinner many times over the years. I really would have preferred to hold only the memory of her handing me a sandwich but whatever. As I say, this was about being there for my friend.

 

The time before that was my mother. And dammit but I had to go to church for that one. At least mom was in a one gallon can under a nice altar cloth for that one. Well, that one has the whole family thing going on, so it has to be done.

 

Not to belabor the point with all of my stories, I am just not a funeral type of guy.

 

I will have one coming up at some point that is going to be really weird though. My father was an atheist before me. He left standing orders that his body should go to a medical school. Well, it seems that eventually, they will be done with the husk and they will want to give it back to the family.

 

Personally, I would be fine with just throwing the leftovers in a lime pit. However, when my older brother was cleaning out his apartment, it turned out that he was an actual war hero. We will never know why, due to a fire back in the 70's in whatever warehouse had the records but my brother found enough documentation that I am going to have to go to DC for a huge deal at Arlington National Cemetery.

 

I am sure that dad would not have wanted that but apparently my brother is going to force the issue. The family thing again. I suppose that I will take some vacation that week and go check out the Smithsonian.

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latincanuck
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Got my will done

Plus mentioned to EVERYONE in my family NO FUCKING FUNERAL!! No wake either, cremate me, throw a party, DJ if you can get one, lots of booze, fun and good memories, I have so far lived a good life, and even if I don't have a good life from this point on, I have a beautiful daughter, I did my part I pro-created.  Beyond that it's all meaningless to me to have a wake and a funeral, I am dead, I enjoyed life, and I have had fun and I loved my family and friends, why have such a depressing thing for my send off.  My will more or less stipulates no funeral and no wake, if it does happen all my money and possessions go to the dog if the dog is not alive then it goes to charity.


Tapey
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Funerals are just a ritual

Funerals are just a ritual to say goodbye, just something witch helps you move on. A party would just be forced, no one would enjoy it and that would be truly depressing. Of course funerals are sad thats the point, trying to avoid that sadness is just trying to avoid what you are feeling (nd if  you arent sad why the hell are you there), witch never works. I have been to two funerals and I can say yes they were probably the sadest places i have ever been, i don't care that they were religous, worrying about such a petty thing at that point is pointless and disrespectful.  

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Funeral

I have requested that my darling wife leave me in a black plastic bag by the side of the 101 freeway.

How can not believing in something that is backed up with no empirical evidence be less scientific than believing in something that not only has no empirical evidence but actually goes against the laws of the universe and in many cases actually contradicts itself? - Ricky Gervais


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latincanuck wrote:Plus

latincanuck wrote:

Plus mentioned to EVERYONE in my family NO FUCKING FUNERAL!! No wake either, cremate me, throw a party, DJ if you can get one, lots of booze, fun and good memories, I have so far lived a good life, and even if I don't have a good life from this point on, I have a beautiful daughter, I did my part I pro-created.  Beyond that it's all meaningless to me to have a wake and a funeral, I am dead, I enjoyed life, and I have had fun and I loved my family and friends, why have such a depressing thing for my send off.  My will more or less stipulates no funeral and no wake, if it does happen all my money and possessions go to the dog if the dog is not alive then it goes to charity.

This is exactly my desire. My wife & I have discussed this quite a bit. Cremate me, put bits in little plastic baggies to hand out as favors at the good-bye party, and people can do whatever the hell they want. Throw my ashes off the top of coaster, or into the ocean, or into the bin. It won't matter to me. Why? Because it's funny.

Really, my only desire is to throw a big fuck-off party, so people can kvetch about me all they want. Drink up my beer. Listen to my music. Play my video games. That sort of thing.

"Yes, I seriously believe that consciousness is a product of a natural process. I find that the neuroscientists, psychologists, and philosophers who proceed from that premise are the ones who are actually making useful contributions to our understanding of the mind." - PZ Myers


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:3

 Bake my ashes into a cake and serve me to everyone attending. Then tell them afterwards via a video recording.

 

 

CLASSIC STYLE.

Theism is why we can't have nice things.


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Going??? Nah!!!

 

 

        I'm a devout atheist,  I  don't believe in heaven or hell therefore I got no place to go:  ergo I'm not going.

 

 

       Cremate me and place my ashes in a tampon (several)  that way I go out the way I came in.

 

 

       They can have a funeral for me, just no priests,  otherwise I'll get up and walk out.

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Ken G.
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Answer in Gene...wrote:I'm sure that dad would not have wanted--

--that.   Then explain that to your brother,after all, it's about what your father would want,not about what your brother wants or what the family wants.Didn't they know his wishes ?

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My dead body should be left

My dead body should be left dead at least for 3 days. During that time it should be allowed for curious people to check out my brain, with an assistance of a pathologist. By then, I should have meditated for many years, so it would be interesting to take a look if it made the brain any bigger or more folded, or whatever. After that, the body should be burned. The ash can be used as fertilizer.
I want no funeral, no wake, no kissing or hugging of the dead body, as local necrophilic oldies like to do. The act of cremation should be as cheap as possible, to spare the money for a banquet. (people can feast always, sad or not) Morbidity should be kept at the very minimum, except of morbid jokes.  And those unfortunates who will have to clean up my living place should receive an extra pocket-money for the effort, if they won't find anything valuable there. I vividly remember my dead grandfather's dorm full of old kitshy junk and dust.

One of my sources says, that burying people into earth is very unhygienic. Reputedly, all the toxins and germs accumulated in the body for decades then soak into ground and contaminate it. Cremation is the only hygienic form of funeral and should be practised globally at least for several centuries, before the soil will purify itself. It's a necessary step in erradication of disease as such.

By the way, the ash is not just an ash. Usually the bones are not burned totally, so they're afterwards milled on dust in a special mill with steel balls within. Then they're mixed with the ash. This is something that ClockCat should't forget to mention in his video.

Beings who deserve worship don't demand it. Beings who demand worship don't deserve it.


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Well Ken, that may seem

Well Ken, that may seem like a great idea but it is not in touch with the reality of my family. Not that I would expect you to have known but even so, I get to deal with family in this one.

 

Really, my brother must know what the deal is but he does not care. I am reasonably sure of this because a few years ago, when the Hemlock Society updated “Final Exit”, he asked my father for his old copy. I would take that as mute testimony to him having had a heart to heart talk with dad.

 

Now I don't know if he is a theist (we really never talk). However, whatever he is, he wants to make a big stinking deal for a funeral that has all the bells and whistles. Ultimately, I don't care all that much and I am certain that my father is past the point where it matters to him. Really, it will be about a day and a half out of my life that I would rather spend playing computer games but whatever.

 

That much being said, I have made specific plans for my passing as well.

 

Before I pass there are a few rules:

 

Rule #1 is that I am not in any way to be considered as an organ donor. Sure, it sounds like a noble thing to do but I just can't see how that would not have a bearing on medical treatment if I am messed up so badly that I can't tell someone to keep me alive if possible.

 

Rule #2 is that if I end up in such a bad way that I have to figure out what I want to do, then give me the button with the morphine. However, it had better have the switch that decides when I have had enough cut out of the circuit.

 

Seriously, if I have a few days to live and the most that I can do is press a button, then fucking let me party my way out. I am dying and how I use my last hours is not anyone else's business. If I pass a couple of hours earlier that I might have, well fuck you and your morals. If I end up pumping the button to the point of an actual suicide, that is my choice as well.

 

If the treating doctor is worried about his Hippocratic oath, well fuck him. It was my choice to push the button 100 times in one minute. He did no harm by simply stepping aside and letting me do my thing.

 

Rule #3 is that if I end up brain dead and on tubes, then fucking x ray my head. If there is no brain there, then I am already gone. At this point, I may as well be dog food. It is not murder to just fucking kill me. However, it is fucking cruel to bat me around as a football like was done with Terry Schiavo. I do not want to have one tube pulled so that I can spend three weeks dying of thirst. Five minutes dying of lack of oxygen would be better. Thirty seconds waiting for the carotid injection of five grams of sodium pentothal to reach what is left of my brain and another thirty seconds for the ten grams of potassium nitrate to reach my heart would be even better.

 

After I am dead, I want my body donated to any police academy that is willing to accede to my last wish. That wish is that I be cut up into many pieces and buried in lots of shallow graves all over wherever they train dogs to find human remains.

 

Seriously, I can think of not better final sacrifice than to know that five or ten years after I am gone, some family that has a missing child can get closure because my body was used to train the dog that found the kid. Sure, the kid is dead and that fucking sucks but at least they know.

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     Cremation.  Mostly

     Cremation.  Mostly for economic reasons.  Besides, why waste money on an elaborate funeral ? .....it's not like I was a Roman Emperor or something.


mellestad
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My wife is sentimental about

My wife is sentimental about our corpses, so cremation is not an option for me.

 

If my parents are still alive, I imagine they would want a "real" funeral, so that is fine.  No open casket or anything though, let people remember me as I lived, not as I died.

 

Otherwise I would want to skip the whole funeral thing...I don't think it is healthy to sit for an hour and dwell on the fact that someone is dead.  Better to just have a nice get together someplace after, let people talk, eat and drink.

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


Tapey
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mellestad wrote:My wife is

mellestad wrote:

My wife is sentimental about our corpses, so cremation is not an option for me.

 

If my parents are still alive, I imagine they would want a "real" funeral, so that is fine.  No open casket or anything though, let people remember me as I lived, not as I died.

 

Otherwise I would want to skip the whole funeral thing...I don't think it is healthy to sit for an hour and dwell on the fact that someone is dead.  Better to just have a nice get together someplace after, let people talk, eat and drink.

And what is wrong with siting in a room for an hour and dwell on the fact that someone is dead. I think that is healthy. Deal with the fact, don't avoid it. Nothing wrong with doing it with people aswell talking but that can be uncomftable. Some people just cannot share there feelings

Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
All animals are equal.


mellestad
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Tapey wrote:mellestad

Tapey wrote:

mellestad wrote:

My wife is sentimental about our corpses, so cremation is not an option for me.

 

If my parents are still alive, I imagine they would want a "real" funeral, so that is fine.  No open casket or anything though, let people remember me as I lived, not as I died.

 

Otherwise I would want to skip the whole funeral thing...I don't think it is healthy to sit for an hour and dwell on the fact that someone is dead.  Better to just have a nice get together someplace after, let people talk, eat and drink.

And what is wrong with siting in a room for an hour and dwell on the fact that someone is dead. I think that is healthy. Deal with the fact, don't avoid it. Nothing wrong with doing it with people aswell talking but that can be uncomftable. Some people just cannot share there feelings

 

To me it just seems counter-productive.  The funerals I have been to focus on grief and death, not life and joy.  Maybe you can have a traditional funeral that is more than bitter pain, but I have not seen one.  I have never felt better after a funeral, only worse...the healing always comes when you are sitting around telling stories with friends and family.

Everything makes more sense now that I've stopped believing.


Tapey
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For me, I cannot speak for

For me, I cannot speak for others here but for me, I needed to deal with the death, witch funerals help you to do (they give you time to think and come to terms, witch was painful). I needed that before i started to feel better. Telling stories didn't do anything for me until I had dealt with the death. Maybe that is just a procsess I needed, maybe others don't, but I did. If focusing on life and joy is what helps you accept and move on then there is nothing wrong with it, to me it seems like avoiding a problem, each to there own i guess.

Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.
Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.
No animal shall wear clothes.
No animal shall sleep in a bed.
No animal shall drink alcohol.
No animal shall kill any other animal.
All animals are equal.