Who would win in this fight?

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Who would win in this fight?

A TseTse Fly

 

OR

 

Ingrid Newkirk (PETA President)

 

 

BACKGROUND ON THE FIGHTERS:

TseTse Fly: African fly that is a blood parasite like a mosquito. When bitten, it can give the victim "sleeping sickness." Sleeping sickness begins with a tsetse bite leading to an inoculation in the sub-cutaneous tissue. The infection moves into the lymphatic system leading to a characteristic swelling of the lymph glands which is called Winterbottom's sign. The infection progresses into the blood stream and eventually crosses into the central nervous system and invades the brain leading to extreme lethargy and eventually to death.

 

Ingrid Newkirk: Peta President and cofounder Ingrid Newkirk has led the world's largest animal rights organization for more than 25 years. Her passion and dedication to making this world a better place for all living beings has inspired countless others to do what they can to help animals.

 

 

RULES FOR THE FIGHT:

1. Fight is staged in an 12' X 12' room with no way out.

2. Ingrid is armed with one fly swatter, but unfortunately no clothes.

3. After 24 hours, if a winner is not decided the lights in the room are turned off.

4. After 72 hours, the room is opened and the fighter with the most mobility is the winner. The loser stays in the room until she/it dies.

 

Who do you pick?


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eh... couple

eh... couple questions...

 

Whats the average lifespan of that Tsetse fly?

Is the fight recorded on video?

edit; OH! and is the fly's uh... infection thingy, biological based, or just mere chemical?

 

What Would Kharn Do?


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Assuming that the Tsetse

Assuming that the Tsetse fly would win if left unswatted, I have to vote for the weird PETA lady.

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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The Doomed Soul wrote:eh...

The Doomed Soul wrote:

eh... couple questions...

 

Whats the average lifespan of that Tsetse fly?

Is the fight recorded on video?

edit; OH! and is the fly's uh... infection thingy, biological based, or just mere chemical?

 

Lol honestly, the chances of it doing serious harm in just 3 days is very unlikely. I think the effects can kick in a week to up to a year. I just made this to combat PETA getting pissed off at Obama for swatting a fly and killing it.

I wanted to pick a mosquito with Malaria but even that takes a while to kick in.

 

I GUESS, you could always change the scenario having Ingrid with a Tiger carrying a gun or something :3


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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

The Doomed Soul wrote:

eh... couple questions...

 

Whats the average lifespan of that Tsetse fly?

Is the fight recorded on video?

edit; OH! and is the fly's uh... infection thingy, biological based, or just mere chemical?

 

Lol honestly, the chances of it doing serious harm in just 3 days is very unlikely. I think the effects can kick in a week to up to a year. I just made this to combat PETA getting pissed off at Obama for swatting a fly and killing it.

I wanted to pick a mosquito with Malaria but even that takes a while to kick in.

 

I GUESS, you could always change the scenario having Ingrid with a Tiger carrying a gun or something :3

"frickin sharks with frickin laser beams attached to their heads."

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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not bad not bad, although a

not bad not bad, although a great white doesn't need much to work with. Maybe Ingrid getting a harpoon gun and the Shark getting one prick on Ingrid's finger by a needle.


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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

The Doomed Soul wrote:

eh... couple questions...

 

Whats the average lifespan of that Tsetse fly?

Is the fight recorded on video?

edit; OH! and is the fly's uh... infection thingy, biological based, or just mere chemical?

 

Lol honestly, the chances of it doing serious harm in just 3 days is very unlikely. I think the effects can kick in a week to up to a year. I just made this to combat PETA getting pissed off at Obama for swatting a fly and killing it.

I wanted to pick a mosquito with Malaria but even that takes a while to kick in.

 

I GUESS, you could always change the scenario having Ingrid with a Tiger carrying a gun or something :3

Awh... dont start that... i was taking a logical approach to who would win the fight... -_-

Tsetse obviously wouldnt win if its lifespan was less than 3days

If a video camera was present, the stupid fly would be to busy crawling all over it, trying to eat the radiant light

and if the flys injection was biological based (aka virus) then the effects would actually have a chance of appearing before the fights end.

Now... besides all this... we should all know the dumb bitch would NEVER kill a fly ( 90% sure shes even been recorded as saying such), and if she did, AND it was video taped, we could get her removed as head of PETA! or blackmail... that works too... you know how petards are!

 

 

... some times... the way my brain works, amuses me greatly o_O

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The lifespan of a tsetse fly

The lifespan of a tsetse fly is 1 - 3 months.


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I really want to put that

I really want to put that bitch in a room with a tiger. If she doesn't kill the tiger she deserves to die.


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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

I really want to put that bitch in a room with a tiger. If she doesn't kill the tiger she deserves to die.

 

... doesnt matter what you give most humans... the chances of them killing a full grown wild tiger in a room, before it kills them... is so very fuckin tiny >.<

I dont even think i'd be able to pull it off with a katana! (and we all know katana > everything )

 

.... but i'd still be willing to try!

 

 

 

*TONIGHT! on the News at 6!  *

 

Some idiot attempts to kill a tiger with a sword, and ends up being meow-mix!

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:3

Tiger and Peta president.

 

 

34.


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ClockCat wrote:Tiger and

ClockCat wrote:

Tiger and Peta president.

 

 

34.

 

 

Fuck... thats to tempting!

 

Here i come, Google!

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ClockCat wrote:Tiger and

ClockCat wrote:

Tiger and Peta president.

 

 

34.

 

Right... so, this is all i got

 

 

 

.... ALSO... i see Tiger Woods, in a whole new light...  

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Ok, here you go...Take the

Ok, here you go...

Take the scenario from the movie "Saw."

Ingrid's foot is shackled, but the chain goes to another shackle that's wrapped around the neck of a dog (on too tight to have the head pulled through). That shackle is chained to the wall. Ingrid can saw her own foot off, or saw off the dog's  head.

Which do you pick?


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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

Ok, here you go...

Take the scenario from the movie "Saw."

Ingrid's foot is shackled, but the chain goes to another shackle that's wrapped around the neck of a dog (on too tight to have the head pulled through). That shackle is chained to the wall. Ingrid can saw her own foot off, or saw off the dog's  head.

Which do you pick?

 

Ingrid would saw her foot off... as would a sizable portion of PETA members... sad, really >.>

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:o

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

Ok, here you go...

Take the scenario from the movie "Saw."

Ingrid's foot is shackled, but the chain goes to another shackle that's wrapped around the neck of a dog (on too tight to have the head pulled through). That shackle is chained to the wall. Ingrid can saw her own foot off, or saw off the dog's  head.

Which do you pick?

 

If it is attached to a shackle around the neck of the dog, which is chained to the wall, then cutting the head off the dog wouldn't do anything to free you.

 

You would still be chained to a shackle that is chained to the wall.

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What is this all about? I

What is this all about? I possibly don't get some hidden reference, to make this thread funny Smiling


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ClockCat wrote:The Flying

ClockCat wrote:

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

Ok, here you go...

Take the scenario from the movie "Saw."

Ingrid's foot is shackled, but the chain goes to another shackle that's wrapped around the neck of a dog (on too tight to have the head pulled through). That shackle is chained to the wall. Ingrid can saw her own foot off, or saw off the dog's  head.

Which do you pick?

 

If it is attached to a shackle around the neck of the dog, which is chained to the wall, then cutting the head off the dog wouldn't do anything to free you.

 

You would still be chained to a shackle that is chained to the wall.

You're right, that's why I shouldn't be making posts like that in the middle of the night. Smiling


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I guess I pick terrorist

I guess I pick terrorist over insect, so Ingrid.

Particularly if she were trying to "save" the fly.

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What about Ingrid Newkirk

What about Ingrid Newkirk vs. a pit full of venomous snakes?

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ClockCat wrote:If it is

ClockCat wrote:

If it is attached to a shackle around the neck of the dog, which is chained to the wall, then cutting the head off the dog wouldn't do anything to free you.

You would still be chained to a shackle that is chained to the wall.

Oh oh oh, so maybe it's two different chains! There's two different chains around the neck of the dog. The one closer to the head is connected to Ingrid's foot. The one further from the head is connected to the wall. So, if you saw off the dog's head between the two chains, Ingrid's foot will only be chained to the dog's head. 

 

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

Ok, here you go...

Take the scenario from the movie "Saw."

Ingrid's foot is shackled, but the chain goes to another shackle that's wrapped around the neck of a dog (on too tight to have the head pulled through). That shackle is chained to the wall. Ingrid can saw her own foot off, or saw off the dog's  head.

Which do you pick?

If she cuts her foot off she's not likely to live, so I'm going to go with the dog's head. She might act all righteous but I bet if the chips were down she'd choose her life over anyone else's.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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:o

except dogs can usually slip any collar they really want to, they have excess skin around the nape of their neck so it would probably work to yank the dog really hard until you are free.

 

If there was no dog, I would probably end up breaking bones. I don't see why they didn't do that honestly. He had the tools to make his foot into partial-pulp. Instead he went to cutting.

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ClockCat wrote:  If there

ClockCat wrote:

 

 

If there was no dog, I would probably end up breaking bones. I don't see why they didn't do that honestly.

One of them did in Saw 3 (or was it 4?)

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 I put Ingrid, smothered in

 I put Ingrid, smothered in barbecue sauce, in the middle of a very large group of *Spotted Hyena.

( *physically, the largest variety of hyena and active hunters who compete with lions.  They're pretty frickin' brutal, after bringing their prey to the ground they begin eating their prey while it is still alive.....  Bye Ingrid ! )


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SPCA po'd

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What about Ingrid Newkirk vs. a pit full of venomous snakes?

       Pity the poor snakes.  I did hear of a 110 pound woman on PMS  vs.  a 500 pound black bear;  the  poor bear never had a chance.

 

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 how about Ingrid and a

 how about Ingrid and a colony of army ants, I would like to see her not take a swat at one of them while they eat her alive.

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...Are you an actual

...Are you an actual sadist, FSM? Or (like most ED fanboys) are you actually just a lame little pussy that likes to pretend on the internet that they can take on the world and nary shed a tear?

Yeah, it was a dick move on PETA's part to criticize Obama for swatting a disease carrying insect (well, it was borderline insane, really), but they do make some solid points about our treatment of animals and are one of the only organizations in existence that works to raise awareness on the issue (naturally, as such, they tend to get really carried away). What would you do if you were chained to a dog and the only possible means of escape was to either remove your own limb or the dog's head? Could you decapitate a screaming dog? I'm pretty sure I couldn't, and I definitely sure that if I did it would be something that would haunt me for a rather long time afterward.

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

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Kevin R Brown wrote:...Are

Kevin R Brown wrote:

...Are you an actual sadist, FSM? Or (like most ED fanboys) are you actually just a lame little pussy that likes to pretend on the internet that they can take on the world and nary shed a tear?

Yeah, it was a dick move on PETA's part to criticize Obama for swatting a disease carrying insect (well, it was borderline insane, really), but they do make some solid points about our treatment of animals and are one of the only organizations in existence that works to raise awareness on the issue (naturally, as such, they tend to get really carried away). What would you do if you were chained to a dog and the only possible means of escape was to either remove your own limb or the dog's head? Could you decapitate a screaming dog? I'm pretty sure I couldn't, and I definitely sure that if I did it would be something that would haunt me for a rather long time afterward.

OR, option 3: I made an exaggerated point to mimic the insanity of PETA.  The ASPCA is a good organization for animal rights and awareness. PETA is an extremist group bent on depreciating human life by idolizing every other living creature. Now let me ask you a question, are you an asshole? Or (like most moderators) are you just a lame little pussy who likes to play authoritarian?


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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:

OR, option 3: I made an exaggerated point to mimic the insanity of PETA.  The ASPCA is a good organization for animal rights and awareness. PETA is an extremist group bent on depreciating human life by idolizing every other living creature. Now let me ask you a question, are you an asshole? Or (like most moderators) are you just a lame little pussy who likes to play authoritarian?

Took the words right out of my mouth.

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 Oh and speaking of ED... 

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Quote:Now let me ask you a

Quote:
Now let me ask you a question, are you an asshole? Or (like most moderators) are you just a lame little pussy who likes to play authoritarian?

The first one.

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


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Quote:PETA sends its

Quote:
PETA sends its employees undercover into facilities such as research laboratories to document the treatment of animals, sometimes requiring them to spend months recording their experiences.[25] Many of the investigations have led to legal action. It conducted an undercover investigation of Covance, an animal testing company, in 2003 and 2004, obtaining video footage that appeared to show monkeys being hit and humiliated, and submitted a formal complaint to the Department of Agriculture.[26] Covance maintained the footage was edited to exaggerate evidence.[27] Legal action has also been brought against PETA for invasion of privacy following undercover work, but a federal judge in the U.S. ruled in PETA's favor in April 2007 that undercover investigations often reveal misconduct.[25]

Quote:
Researchers went undercover in 1997 into Huntingdon Life Sciences, a contract animal-testing company, where they filmed staff in the UK beating dogs,[28] and what appears to be abuse of monkeys in the company's Princeton, New Jersey, facility.[29] The employees were fired and HLS's licence in the UK was suspended. After the video footage aired on British television in 1999, a group of activists set up Stop Huntingdon Animal Cruelty with a view to closing HLS down, a campaign that is still ongoing.

Quote:
In 1984, a 26-minute PETA film called Unnecessary Fuss,[30] based on 60 hours of researchers' footage obtained by the ALF during a raid on the University of Pennsylvania's Head Injury Clinic, led to the suspension of funds from the university, the closure of the lab, the firing of the university's chief veterinarian, and a period of probation for the university. The footage showed brain damage being inflicted on baboons using a hydraulic device intended to simulate whiplash.[12][31]

Quote:
n 1990, a Las Vegas entertainer lost his entertainment license, as well as a later lawsuit against PETA, after the group filmed him beating orangutans. A North Carolina grand jury handed down indictments against pig-farm workers, the first indictments for animal cruelty within that industry, after they were filmed skinning a sow who was allegedly still conscious.[32] In 1985, the U.S. government suspended funding to the City of Hope biomedical research center in California over its alleged treatment of dogs, and East Carolina University agreed to stop using animals for classroom experiments after a PETA investigation. PETA was criticized in 1999 regarding undercover film it took inside the Carolina Biological Supply Company, which appeared to show wriggling cats being embalmed alive, in the opinion of two veterinarians. An anatomist argued that the wriggling may have been the effect of formalin on freshly dead muscle tissue, which causes muscle fibers to contract. The case against the company was dismissed.[33]

 

...Now, I'm not saying that PETA is particularly ethical organization, or even that they do more good than harm. What PETA does do that organizations like the ASPCA do not that I think should be appreciated is the not-so-glamorous work of keeping people accountable, and it's largely this fact - not their outrageous pamphlets or criticisms - that have made them so disliked. At the end of the day somebody has to gets their hands dirty, and more often than not PETA (for better or worse) volunteers themselves to that position.

Let me ask you something, FSM: are you an Anonymous supporter?

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


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So, you both agree that PETA

So, you both agree that PETA is crazy, but has some good points to make about animal rights. Where's the dispute?

Our revels now are ended. These our actors, | As I foretold you, were all spirits, and | Are melted into air, into thin air; | And, like the baseless fabric of this vision, | The cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, | The solemn temples, the great globe itself, - Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve, | And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, | Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff | As dreams are made on, and our little life | Is rounded with a sleep. - Shakespeare


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:3

I'm a PETA supporter.

 

I don't agree with a lot of their stances, but they make a lot of valid points and give exposure to bad things that end up improving them due to the negative publicity.

 

I think they do a very important role of pointing out horrible conditions in our food supply.

 

There isn't anything wrong with more oversight.

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If she is naked, I would

If she is naked, I would like the lights turned off from the start.


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Full agreement. If it was

Full agreement.
If it was recorded, and the fly were capable of killing her in the time mentioned(use a scorpion maybe?), we'd be given the most entertaining footage ever. But please... let her wear underwear...

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The Doomed Soul wrote:...

The Doomed Soul wrote:

... doesnt matter what you give most humans... the chances of them killing a full grown wild tiger in a room, before it kills them... is so very fuckin tiny >.<

I dont even think i'd be able to pull it off with a katana! (and we all know katana > everything )

Okay, most humans, but how about someone who at least has SOME edged weapon training. Obviously, the canonical katana > everything applies, there. Tigers would be an unfortunate target, though, considering there are so few of them (no need to waste a perfectly good tiger). Maybe a bear.

Anyway, that woman is vicious and insane. For real odds, I'd put her in a room with Martha Stewart. Best fight ever. Martha would probably win, because she's crafty, and a scrapper, but with the PETA lady, there's that "crazy factor" that leaves the fight up in the air.

But if Martha won, I would hope that she would eat PETA lady's liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

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The Flying Spaghetti Monster

The Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote:
Or (like most moderators) are you just a lame little pussy who likes to play authoritarian?

Oh, that's it: now you're going to feel the mighty wrath of my moderator power! I'm going to ... edit what you write! No, no -- that's not powerful enough.

I'm going to ... GIVE YOU A WARNING! Yeah! I'm totally warning you right now, not to ... make fun of moderators again. Yeah.

Man, I really told him. Yup. I'm a pretty big deal on the internet. Chicks just flock to this kind of awesome power.

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