100s of proofs that God exists.

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100s of proofs that God exists.

http://www.godlessgeeks.com/LINKS/GodProof.htm

(Caution may contain irony).

I think my personal favourites are:

 

ARGUMENT FROM RESPECT
(1) You have to respect my right to believe that God exists.
(2) You also have to respect my right to believe that I don't have to respect your right to believe that God doesn't exist.
(3) Therefore, God exists.

 
ARGUMENT FROM SALEM WITCH TRIALS
1 The bible says "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live".
2 So we killed them.
3 Therefore god exists.

 

ARGUMENT FROM YOUTH GROUP MINISTER
(1) God is awesome!
(2) Like, totally, dude!
(3) Therefore, God, like, exists and stuff.
 

ARGUMENT FROM NAZIISM (INVERSE-GODWIN)
(1) Hitler didn't establish a Christian theocracy.
(2) Therefore, Hitler was an Atheist.
(3) Hitler was the worst leader possible.
(4) Therefore, all Atheists are bad people.
(5) Therefore, God exists

 

 

The most powerful weapon against errors of any kind is reason.
Thomas Paine


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 Ah, they never get old.

 

Ah, they never get old. And just when you think they're about to get old, you read them again and they're still funny because they are still true.

A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.


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OH my favorite is: ARGUMENT

OH my favorite is:

 

ARGUMENT FROM THE ROLLING STONES
(1) You can't always get what you want.
(2) If you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.
(3) I need God to exist.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

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Here's on that should be on

Here's one that should be on the list:

 

(1)I'm the man in the box.

(2)Buried in my shit.

(3)Won't you come and save me?

(4)Save me.

(5)God saves me.

(6)Therefore, God exists.

 

You can parody the living fuck out of this sad fucker and his weak ass logic for days.

 

"When the majority believes in what is false, the truth becomes a quest." - Me


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ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS

ARGUMENT FROM META-SMUGNESS
(1) Fuck you.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

I like that one, but I prefer this one:

ARGUMENT FROM UNRESTRAINED SKEPTICISM
(1) Fuck you!
(2) There is no God!

 

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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ARGUMENT FROM STRAIGHT

ARGUMENT FROM STRAIGHT LINES:

1) Some lines are definately straight.

2) God likes straight lines.

3) God can't like anything if he doesn't exist.

4) Therefore, God exists.

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


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god exists

 

           A) Tampa Bay Devil Rays are in the World Series

           B) Arizona Cardinals are FC final

           C) Phillies   win the World Series

           D) Ither hell froze over or........

           E) god exists

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Just Because

1. I am dumb.

2. I am ruled by fear.

3. I like pizza.

4. I love Reese Witherspoon Movies.

5. I forgot to learn.

3. God exists.

Who would want to finish what they have said with the same thing everytime?


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Diagoras23 wrote:1. I am

Diagoras23 wrote:

1. I am dumb.

2. I am ruled by fear.

3. I like pizza.

4. I love Reese Witherspoon Movies.

5. I forgot to learn.

3. God exists.

I take offense to that. I love pizza...


 

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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Apologies

My Apologies.

Of course pizza is loved by all atheists and loathed by religious people as it reminds them that the earth revolves around the sun.

Now you have made me all hungry.

Therefore God exists.

Who would want to finish what they have said with the same thing everytime?


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Don't forget it also reminds

Don't forget it also reminds them of the fact that the earth is not flat.

Only God could make a spherical planet.

Therefor God is a spherical pizza.

I also want pizza now... and I already ate some today...

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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spike.barnett wrote:Don't

spike.barnett wrote:

Don't forget it also reminds them of the fact that the earth is not flat.

Only God could make a spherical planet.

Therefor God is a spherical pizza.

I also want pizza now... and I already ate some today...

 

ZOMG, a spherical pizza would be a big greasy ball of awesome.


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Where would the crust be,

Where would the crust be, though?...


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Balkoth wrote:Where would

Balkoth wrote:

Where would the crust be, though?...

 

... the same place that it is on a flat circular pizza... >.>

What Would Kharn Do?


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thought I'd add this to the

thought I'd add this to the 100.  it's appropriate.

 

100 points to 0 proves there is a God!

 

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/012209dnsposhutout.40d72ee.html

 

Girls basketball.  Covenant, Dallas Academy beats Dallas Academy 100-0.

 

A quote from one of the good christians:

"I never get tired of saying it," she told the reporter after the victory. "I want to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for allowing me to be here and do the things I do."

Leading 59-0, the good Christians continued to press the evil, secularists and making 3-point shots in the second half.

 

In the final quarter, the Coaches and fans of the Christian school, cheered on the team to reach 100 points.

 

Quote:
"They are really good," Civello said. "Their point guard is terrific. This is what it came down to in the second half: steal at half court and layup. Steal and layup. Steal and layup. It was a layup drill. They finally eased up when they got to 100 with about four minutes left." Covenant's point guard had 48 points.

 

Whether the good Christians cared the other school was "renowned for its work with students with a variety of learning problems" wasn't clear.

 

In other news, a number of players in various sports received career-ending and/or life-threatening injuries as the winners declared "God is good!  Thank you Jesus!"

 

Imagine the people who believe such things and who are not ashamed to ignore, totally, all the patient findings of thinking minds through all the centuries since the Bible was written. And it is these ignorant people, the most uneducated, the most unimaginative, the most unthinking among us, who would make themselves the guides and leaders of us all; who would force their feeble and childish beliefs on us; who would invade our schools and libraries and homes. I personally resent it bitterly.
Isaac Asimov


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The Doomed Soul

The Doomed Soul wrote:

Balkoth wrote:

Where would the crust be, though?...

 

... the same place that it is on a flat circular pizza... >.>

That is correct. I submit to you fine people today that we are living on the crust of a giant spherical pizza. And that pizza is God. Therefor God exist.

 

 

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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Balkoth wrote:Where would

Balkoth wrote:

Where would the crust be, though?...

I would like to hypothesize that the crust would be the core of the spherical 'za...for two reasons:

a) it's easier for the devil to bake fossils into to the bread layer.

b) the toppings will look better on the outside


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PorkChop wrote:Balkoth

PorkChop wrote:

Balkoth wrote:

Where would the crust be, though?...

I would like to hypothesize that the crust would be the core of the spherical 'za...for two reasons:

a) it's easier for the devil to bake fossils into to the bread layer.

b) the toppings will look better on the outside

I might have fallen for your trap if only there were pepperoni on the surface. The melted cheese and sauce is obviously at the core. Why else would volcanoes spew out orange stuff?

 

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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That basketball story is

That basketball story is fucked-up. Leave to a bunch of Christians to blitz a team full of mentally disabled players 100-zip. Maybe the girls can sign-up to kick the asses of amputees next to show the world how their God is the boss.

 

Quote:
"Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

- Leon Trotsky, Last Will & Testament
February 27, 1940


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spike.barnett wrote: And

spike.barnett wrote:


 And that pizza is God. Therefor God exist.

1. I disagree that the pizza is God.

2. Therefore, God exists.


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Balkoth wrote:spike.barnett

Balkoth wrote:

spike.barnett wrote:

And that pizza is God. Therefor God exist.

1. I disagree that the pizza is God.

2. Therefore, God exists.

Alright, but I must warn you. If you continue this blasphemy Pizza God will surely send you to Hell. Where you will forever burn in a lake of molten  cheese and sauce. It says so in Genesis: The Baking.

 

 [edit] Therefore God Exist...

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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Hey, they did not

Hey, they did not mention my favorite, the argument from Jay and Silent Bob.

 

  1. In clerks 2, Jay asserts that the power of Jesus keeps him and Silent Bob off of drugs (while they are engaged in a dope deal).
  2. Jason Mewes is a virtual prisoner in Kevin Smith's house as that is the only way to keep him off heroin.
  3. What was I trying to prove again?

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daedalus wrote:thought I'd

daedalus wrote:

thought I'd add this to the 100.  it's appropriate.

 

100 points to 0 proves there is a God!

 

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/012209dnsposhutout.40d72ee.html

 

Girls basketball.  Covenant, Dallas Academy beats Dallas Academy 100-0.

 

A quote from one of the good christians:

"I never get tired of saying it," she told the reporter after the victory. "I want to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ for allowing me to be here and do the things I do."

Leading 59-0, the good Christians continued to press the evil, secularists and making 3-point shots in the second half.

 

In the final quarter, the Coaches and fans of the Christian school, cheered on the team to reach 100 points.

Pride goeth before the fall, right? What were they thinking?

 

 

daedalus wrote:

Whether the good Christians cared the other school was "renowned for its work with students with a variety of learning problems" wasn't clear.

Oh I think it was clear, daedalus, all too clear. They were obviously very chuffed with their "superiority" over the underprivileged, as so many christians these days are so wont to be.

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spike.barnett wrote:Alright,

spike.barnett wrote:
Alright, but I must warn you. If you continue this blasphemy Pizza God will surely send you to Hell. Where you will forever burn in a lake of molten  cheese and sauce. It says so in Genesis: The Baking.


 [edit] Therefore God Exist...

1. You've claimed the Pizza God is the one true God

2. Anyone who can read Genesis: The Baking correctly knows that the real God is the Pizza Pie God

3. Therefore, you cannot read correctly.

4. Therefore, God exists.


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God exists solely for the

God exists solely for the purpose of his followers praying for the end of my bad jokes. Therefore God exists.

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Balkoth wrote:spike.barnett

Balkoth wrote:

spike.barnett wrote:
Alright, but I must warn you. If you continue this blasphemy Pizza God will surely send you to Hell. Where you will forever burn in a lake of molten  cheese and sauce. It says so in Genesis: The Baking.

 

 [edit] Therefore God Exist...

1. You've claimed the Pizza God is the one true God

2. Anyone who can read Genesis: The Baking correctly knows that the real God is the Pizza Pie God

3. Therefore, you cannot read correctly.

4. Therefore, God exists.

You and I both know your denomination is wrong. Read it again and maybe we'll let you into The Free Pepperonyterian Church.

[Edit] I can't believe I forgot it again... Therefor God exist...

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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I thought Peter Kreeft's

I thought Peter Kreeft's "argument from magic" was.... optimistic.

 

"we can levitate!  jump up in the air.... YOU ARE DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITY, AND THAT IS MAGIC!.... therefore god exists."


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phooney wrote:I thought

phooney wrote:

I thought Peter Kreeft's "argument from magic" was.... optimistic.

 

"we can levitate!  jump up in the air.... YOU ARE DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITY, AND THAT IS MAGIC!.... therefore god exists."

I would say that you are exploiting the electromagnetic interaction to overcome gravity. Therefor God exist.

I remembered!

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.

The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
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 1: Wait... you guys are

 

1: Wait... you guys are atheists?

 

2: ....seriously?

 

C: Therefore, God exists.

 

 

A place common to all will be maintained by none. A religion common to all is perhaps not much different.