Silly rant about hurricane names.

Brian37
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Silly rant about hurricane names.

Why the fuck to we name hurricanes? Even more so, we give them nice sounding names like "Frances" or "Hanna", what the fuck? No wonder people stay when they should leave, we name them after people we want to date! If we are going to be that absurd in naming storms why don't we call one "Cuddles". " Category 5 hurricane Cuddles is headed for Miami!"

No, we should name these storms what we really want to call them, we could even go down the alphabet.

A=Hurricane ASSHOLE!"

B=Hurricane BITCH!

C=Hurricane CUNT!

D= Hurricane DICKWAD!

E=Hurricane ENEMA!

F= Hurricane FUCK YOU!

G= Hurricane GOD DAMN IT!

H= Hurricane HOME WRECKER! (literal and appropreate)

But, that is just a side issue.

Why don't people leave? Huh? IT'S A FUCKING HURRICANE.! I know why, because the weatherman cant cuss. Did you ever notice that?

Weatherman Bob is all calm cool and collected, "Hurricane Frances has top wind speeds of 5 billion miles per hour" not a bit of sweat on his brow.

NO, if you want people out of the city and state this is how the weatherman should sound:

"WE GOT A GOD DAMN MOTHERFUCKING HURRICANE HEADED OUR WAY, GET THE FUCK OUT. IF YOU ARE A DUMB ASS AND STAY, THANK YOU FOR THINNING OUT THE GENE POOL, WE DON'T NEED DIP SHITS LIKE YOU!  OTHERWISE GET THE FUCK OUT NOW!"

 

 

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They should only name them

They should only name them after women - they make a lot of noise, It costs a lot to fix the damage they do and once they leave you don't have your house or car anymore.

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Brian37
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I kid you not, I was working

I kid you not, I was working at a pizza place when a hurricane blew through Virgina. Now mind you it is bad enough during college football season because every frat bro and alumni, and redneck with nothing better to do, somehow forgets how to work their stove during the game.

There must be a stupidity gene in humans with sporting events or weather events, because when either happen, humans somehow FORGET HOW TO FUCKING COOK! And take it out on some poor smuck dilivering pizza.

True story though, on top of the Virgina-Virgina Tec football game, which makes pizza sales go up, THOSE IDIOTS ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME DURRING A FUCKING HURRICANE! So not only did we have the jocks cralling up our asses, we had all the other morons who forgot how to use the microwave and stove in bad weather!

I feel sorry for anyone who dilivers pizza in Hawaii. Can you imagine that?

"Thank you for calling Joe Shmo's Pizza, how may I help?"

"Um yea, do you think you can get a pizza here before the lava flow burns down our house?"

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Brian37
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Here is what gets me. I've

Here is what gets me. I've been to the store before a big storm, snow or hurricane. I see people with their carts full? WHAT THE FUCK! Ok, you buy all that fucking food just to call us?

 

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aiia
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Brian37 wrote:Why the fuck

Brian37 wrote:

Why the fuck to we name hurricanes?

Fucking A.

Whats wrong with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,?

 

And how stupid is it with the weatherman standing in the wind and rain to tell us its a huricane?

"Look at the wind blowing. Wow! Its powerful."

Like duh!

 

People who think there is something they refer to as god don't ask enough questions.


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Brian37 wrote:we name them

Brian37 wrote:

we name them after people we want to date!

You want to date someone named "Gustav"?

That's peculiar.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

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MattShizzle
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Why don't they name other

Why don't they name other disasters, too?


Brian37
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MattShizzle wrote:Why don't

MattShizzle wrote:

Why don't they name other disasters, too?

Good point, could you imgine an earthquake named "Shakey"?

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Brian37
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Watcher wrote:Brian37

Watcher wrote:

Brian37 wrote:

we name them after people we want to date!

You want to date someone named "Gustav"?

That's peculiar.

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

No, I am saying the names dont seem to be threatining. Someone's sexual prefurance is not my issue. But it seems to me by naming a storm after a human defeats the purpose of relating the mesage that YOU MIGHT GET FUCKED!

We have had storms named Bertha, and I bet everyone took that one seriously. But, if we had storms named Tom Cruise or Hidie Clume millions would die!

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Personally, I subscribe to

Personally, I subscribe to the "Hat" theory... when a hurricane is named, it comes from the hat, from which all the storm watcher employee's stick in the names of their Ex's.

 

Kill 2 bird with 1 stone... thrown by 180 mph winds o_O

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Brian37
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aiia wrote:Brian37 wrote:Why

aiia wrote:

Brian37 wrote:

Why the fuck to we name hurricanes?

Fucking A.

Whats wrong with 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8,?

 

And how stupid is it with the weatherman standing in the wind and rain to tell us its a huricane?

"Look at the wind blowing. Wow! Its powerful."

Like duh!

 

EXACTLY! How fast does that wind have to be?

 

Reporter Bob, " If you don't understand the severity of this storm, I just want to let you know, the wind just blew off all my pubic hair!"

 

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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I actually think "Hurricane

I actually think "Hurricane Cuddles" sounds funny as fuck, and therefore I prefer it over your preferred suggestions, which suck the sweat from a horny priest's balls.

 

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Brian37 wrote:But it seems

Brian37 wrote:

But it seems to me by naming a storm after a human defeats the purpose of relating the mesage that YOU MIGHT GET FUCKED!

Could name 'em after personal lubricants. "Here comes hurricane Astroglide; run or get fucked!"


MattShizzle
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The useful thing about how

The useful thing about how they do it now is they make it easy to talk about really bad ones that happened in the past (as they retire the name when one was really bad. )

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Sorry if someone else has

Sorry if someone else has already said this (I didn't read the entire thread)

My hope is that they start naming the really bad hurricanes after the names of deities...

yahweh, thor, ra, allah, neith, anubis, taweret, teshub (the mighty weathergod), baiame (god of rain), djanggawul, taranis, zacharus, debranua etc, ETC, ETCETERA !

One year they could use jesus and then the next year the j cane could be jeebus.

Would this idea reinforce the fundies desire too much ?


The Doomed Soul
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Right Wonko... if i had a

Right Wonko... if i had a storm named Anubis coming at my region, i'd take a vacation on another continent till its over

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MattShizzle
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Would it include

Would it include intentionally fictitious gods like hurricane FSM or hurricane Ceilingcat?


Wonko
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Absolutely, why not!On the

Absolutely, why not!

On the other hand, if only the fictional gods are allowed to be hurricane names...

Would only those hurricanes have the power???   


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Uhhhhh ok, well....that

Uhhhhh ok, well....

that sounded like the old NRA battle cry, didn't it.

oops.


Brian37
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It would be stupid to name

It would be stupid to name hurricanes after any god, because hurricanes are real.

"We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and nonbelievers."Obama
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Sharing my email to TWC......

 

Dear Weather Channel,


 Hello one and all. Writing to you from the great Midwest.I have a question that also includes a tiny request.

 I know you guys don't control the Hurricane names but I'm sure you know some of the people at NOAA and thatWorld Organization in Switzerland, I think?

 Just wondered if you could submit names to them and if so, would you consider some of the names listed below.

 In the small town where I live, many of my christian acquaintances insist that their god is punishing America by sending all these hurricanes our way. They are deadly serious. Uhhhh, the hurricanes and the christians, that is.

 Also, I have a friend who lives in a nearby town who was born in the country of Turkey and he believes his god may be responsible.

 So it has me thinking that a list of god names, even if we could just try it out for one year, would appease them. Perhaps even give them hope to keep on believing.

 You don't have to tell everyone that an Atheist submitted the names, unless of course, you want to.

 Here goes, alphabetically:


 Allah
Buddah
Christ
Deus
Ek Onkar
Fujin (wind god)
Ghede
Haikili
Izanami (who actually churned the ocean with his spear thus creating Japan! )
Jeebus
Kaukas (ok, you might want to change this one as he was a spirit similar to a troll)
Lair Baeln

  Whew ! Maybe I should stop for now.I will anxiously await your return email (!!!)

 BTW, how could you guys have let the incredibly gorgeous  Mish Michaels slip away to WBZ ?

 sin cerely,Wonko